Alien Covenant

This must have been one of the worst and useless movie I've ever seen. I wanted to turn it off about 30 minutes in but like the franchise too much.
They somehow managed to write characters that are even more stupid than the ones in Prometheus, tried to be really philosophical about artificial intelligence and humanity but just fell flat on the ass, Fassbender kisses himself?, bunch of Jewish propaganda, bland story, pretty bad CGI, the engineers looked nothing like they did in Prometheus but more human, am I supposed to believe that these intergalactic and incredibly smart, genetically superior beings were all wiped out by David on one planet or the ones who survived didn't seek revenge?

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I mean, I pretty much have Asperger's but still. This movie was really bad.

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very nice

vampires in priest looked better

How did she actually not know it was David? Was she retarded?

hey, that thing was a gosh darn baby 30 minutes before that photo was taken, its got baby skin, like a baby. it may be the size of an adult male but 30 minutes ago, baby.

just, give the baby a break people.

lmao holy shit wtf scotts a fukn hack

i was thinking the whole time she would notice the wound on the underside of his chin he got from her stabbing him with the nail before walter rescued her.
but nope.

I liked Walter and David interacting with one another, other than that film was dogshit

Why was there modern wheat on the planet?

Why does the goo not make plants super deadly?

it would probably makes plants more resilient if anything.
the goo is supposed to make things evolve/give offspring to improved evolution.
that would mean that the seeds that break off of the wheat would be strong as fuck

Oh come the fuck on ... everyone sperging how this movie is bad then i watched (pirated) and thought it was pretty good.

David used aliens to cleanse the world of outdated creations, i liked it... 8/10

this barely qualifies as a movie
prometheus was shit, but this is a whole new level of retardation

feel nothing for this franchise anymore, kinda a relief

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youtube.com/watch?v=wK8kK4hY6PA

Idk about jewish propaganda, but yea the movie went full retard. it keeps it from being boring I guess

i didn't know. how did david win the fight?

I liked it as well. I didn't find anything too overly idiotic in terms of execution. It's a space/horror movie. What is it that you were hoping for? Directors do not continue to catch lightning in a bottle until they die (except maybe Scorcese), however, Ridley has had some good efforts. This aint no George Lucus type shit imo

Is it better than Suicide Squad?

>I wanted to turn it off about 30 minutes
>not wanting to turn it off the moment the movie jumped from based David to a bunch of nobodies insipid drama

>They somehow managed to write characters that are even more stupid than the ones in Prometheus
That's the thing, Prometheus had characters, in Covenant they are just walking, talking meat bags.

Any convincing theories on why there were Xeno eggs in the Space Jockey's ship?

They were bioengineered for some unknown purpose and were transporting them for some unknown reason.

>horror is built on fear of the unknown
>literally tracking the Alien on the ship
B R A V O S C O T T
R
A
V
O

S
C
O
T
T

This is what happens when you choose to ignore bad writing and make the movie anyway.

Agreed OP, I hated it as well. It was so fucking unnecessary. Prometheus was silly in some places, but at least it was creative. Nothing about Covenant was creative.

Also, that final reveal... Yeah, I bet NOBODY in the entire WORLD could see it coming from miles fucking away.

No, this is what happens when you have both bad writers and a bad director.

how the fuck was the cgi so bad on the alien
that part where the girl was quarantined with the baby one was hilarious

That doesn't help, either. Scott hasn't made anything good since the early '00s (Gladiator and Black Hawk Down). He has been phoning it in for nearly 20 years. He is old and just doesn't give a fuck anymore.

AvED did it better

>exploring a new planet
>no masks
>no protective suits
>no quarantine zone

Makes absolutely no sense. Why would you ever not take those precautions? The film becomes completely and utterly unbelievable right from the start.

Kek, the Apollo 11 astronauts were immediately quarantined no matter how unlikely the threat of lunar diseases were. And that's a dead moon with no real atmosphere.

>Yeah, I bet NOBODY in the entire WORLD could see it coming from miles fucking away.

There wasn't any intention to fool the audience. The audience is supposed to know the whole time it's David instead of Walter.

The Counselor is a masterpiece, fuckface.

In the book David leaves the ship first to test the atmosphere.

In the future, maybe they have technology and shit to figure the shit out.

Regardless, just like in Prometheus, nobody is going to watch a two hour movie with attractive people in full space gear.

>There wasn't any intention to fool the audience.
What about his facial expresions when female lead killed alien and survived encounter?

Ripped off the X-files sewer monster.

>The Counselor is a masterpiece
gave me a good giggle. thanx, user.

Still have nightmares about that thing sucking up my asshole while I shit at night.

You mean how he enjoyed watching his creation interact with humans and was impressed they "won", all the while knowing he has thousands of people on board to use as guinea pigs to perfect his future creations?

Well i thought he would be upset if his creation was killed just like he was upset when capitain killed his very first alien friend on the planet.

The creation the Captain killed was needlessly killed just as David was bonding with it.

Watching the hunt on the monitor was more "scientific" because the alien was expendable in order for him to watch how it interacts and behaves.

well they better explain it in a future movie, I wouldn't want any mystery in my horror movie

>I wanted to turn it off about 30 minutes in

>pirate poorfag outs himself

My favourite part is the comedic bit of villy crudup as captain, getting lured into the egg cave by david. his stupidity and gullibility made it a pure joy to see him get face-hugged.

Full of bad 90s teen horror tropes.

>My favourite part is the comedic bit of villy crudup as captain, getting lured into the egg cave by david

You know they fucked up when any trace of the mostly non existent tension came from the crew utter incompetence instead of the "monsters" being legitimate threats.

Speaking of monsters, the xenomorphs were reduced to unintentional comic relief elements with David turning out to be the actual monster.

>climax of the film
>cut to random shower sex scene
>alien slides his tail up her asshole
>"ooh! hey!"

fucking shit

This

The climax was literally a rehashing of the escape scene which was completely pointless on top of being trashy.

i torrented this movie but the audio was so fucking horrible i deleted it instantly. i dont think i have the willpower to re-download a different version on the off chance that it was the movie and not the encoding, and i'll have to face that atrocity a second time.

one of the rips had terrible audio, there was another release that had normal audio

Grabbed the knife and probably stabbed him again like he did the flute, except he probably took off his head entirely.

>In the book David leaves the ship first to test the atmosphere.
There are books? Fuck me.

>In the future, maybe they have technology and shit to figure the shit out.
Apparently not. They're immediately infected by Alien spores. And it is apparent that they are not familiar with the things that they are coming into contact with. And why would you ever not wear, at least, something to cover up your body? There's no downside to wearing a protective suit and a mask. Wouldn't such a crew always err on the side of caution?

Plot progression.

>create 'perfect lifeform'
>two of them get killed in 20 minutes by a fucking woman

>Plot progression.
Oh it sure moved things along alright.

It's more a documentary than a movie actually.

youtube.com/watch?v=PsdyahvKN3g

The ones in Covenant seemed different to the original xenos. They seemed aggressive and didnt really give a fuck, whereas the original xenos stalked, stayed hidden, all that shit.

Although maybe it was just Scott changing their behavior because why the fuck not

Was it ever explained why they chose to fuck with by far the most interesting scene in either Prometheus or Covenant?

youtube.com/watch?v=R5j1Y8EGWnc

>characters escape alien in retarded action scene
>they go to sleep
>wake up in a totally different movie that's like an Alien fan film.

this movie is fucking garbage

prometheus was bad but this.. this movie is a fucking steaming pile of turd

why did you post this? like anybody is gonna listen to this faggot.

So did David take over Walter or what?

I don't understand how he would communicate with Mother as Walter if not.

#SLIPPY

How did David even manage to bring this thing down?

since you can see the crash site near the city in one of the wide shots

Both wrong. He's happy the female captain survived he either admired her (for gaining the love of a fellow android or just for being a badaass) or she's obviously meant to be a surrogate of Shaw. Either way he's gonna get pretty freaky with her since he's starting to "love" her.

>Speaking of monsters, the xenomorphs were reduced to unintentional comic relief elements with David turning out to be the actual monster.

>Anonymous user gets the point of a 5 year old film franchise for the first time.

And it could have been much better than the original series if they kept the alien crap to a minimum.

It would of been better if it was not directly tied to the last one. The colony ship stuff could of happened the same, but perhaps they just find a dead engineer world and they try to figure out what happened. No retarded robots creating xenomorphs. (Tho the actor was the best part of the movie, still needed axing from the story)

There was so much pointless yelling, screaming, and completely irrational behavior. These are supposed to be the crew of a colony ship responsible for the lives of thousands of people. Would they not have training for this? Would they not anticipate that new world's could have deadly viruses, animals, etc? Why not take precaution against such possibilities? Why even send people out and not robots to take initial samples?

Wasn't it said that it was a bio weapon that broke loose/spiled/whatever killing most of the ships crew? From there it just kind of spread on the ship and want dormant anti the humans in promethious showed up and gave it something to do.

They were all birthed by males in this movie.

>the original xenos stalked, stayed hidden, all that shit
The original xeno wasn't facing the most incompetent people in the universe.

We can't have nice things. The sad thing is that both the franchise and the xenomorph are now bad jokes but I'd still have more David.

if anybody has access to high res pics of the Shaw illustrations David drew, I'd be thankful

We don't know, presumably some sort of Anti-air defense shot everything in the sky down.

avpgalaxy.net/gallery/thumbnails.php?album=370

>pics of the Shaw illustrations David drew
I don't get it why was that even a thing. Doesn't he have a cameras for his eyes that can take a snapshot and save it in his memory?

oops

danke

>why does a gay robot psychopath draw edgy pictures of his waifu
to fap to them, obviously

I just finished this nigger faggot flick
>bad cgi
>bad writing, plotholes all over the place
>lets explain away all of the mystery of Prometheus h-haha
>ost from good to atrocious
>acting from good to atrocious
>why was meme comedy actor in this?
>main chika wasnt too cute, looked like a boy
>(((diverse))) cast
>(((race mixing))) shower scene
>(((gay))) doppelganger sex

wow u guys I cant wait how Derpley Scott will explain away the last mysteries like how the Derelict crashed on the first gay planet that Ridley found in the 70s

Can't he do that from memory in probably 4K resolution or whatever they have in the future?

>Go to an unknown planet
>Don't wear respiratory protection of any kind

Do you think David tried to sex shaw, but couldn't so ended up killing her and doing his experiments? It's been said the oral rape of Ripley in alien by ash is caused by him feeling sexually attracted to Ripley but not actually having a dick. If I was a horny robot with no way of releasing the sexual frustration I'd be a massive fucking arsehole to humans too.

pretty much this , yeah he can do it from memory but it's not the same as actually sexing someone up. Drawing pictures and symbolically impregnating her with his seed is the best the dickless faggot could do.

remember when David was trying to kiss Daniels? he was trying to force and embryo down her throat, not actually kiss her.

Rewatch Alien again

The effects look cheesy as fuck

The movie seriously needed more scenes with Fassbender. Everything else was so damn dull.

there also was a good alien movie this year at least

The effects in Aliens are even more dated.

>jewish propaganda

Wtf, it was literally /ourmovie/
Just think about it:

>android kiss scene is completely no homo (more in a style of Judas kissing Jesus)
>Wagner soundtrack
>obviously European culture on earth (first scene)
>22nd century
>majority white, all non-whites are bleached enough to be considered caucasian
>literally Aryan Future

Aren't two of the other guys gay as well? One of the first guys to get infected dies and another one is crying on top of him with a closeup of a wedding ring.

I didn't even notice that. It was hinted in the most subtle way possible. And so what? Is it hard to believe that gays exist in the future?

There was so much wrong with this shit that it is mind boggling. Just the absolute general of safety procedures didn't even exist. In fact, I'd not have been surprised if they'd don't the space walk in the nude.

David becoming god is really good and I'd watch that for 1 or 2 more movies
He's carrying these films right now

Just 2017 shit. Gay, completely out of place and unnecessary interracial sex scene, gay robots, I'm sure there is other shit.

David should have just found a way to land Covenant back onto that planet instead of just planting the facehugger embryo's.

currently 50 minutes into the film
its a fucking joke
>also
wheres franco? was he the beef jerky at the beginning?

yes, they did that borderline false advertising bullshit by not using the trailer footage

is the movie at least visually as stunning as Prometheus?

What the fuck are you talking about? In the year where every film must be jewed as fuck you complain about this?

>gay stuff
You mean subtle hint with the wedding ring most people didnt notice and completely non-gay android kiss? By that standards, Bible did gay propaganda in the 1st century.

>interracial sex scene
In a movie full of white couples. Besides, the guy was whiter than your average greek.

This movie was one of the few movies I watched this year that didn't give me the feel of being jewed.

not in the slightest

>Aren't two of the other guys gay as well? One of the first guys to get infected dies and another one is crying on top of him with a closeup of a wedding ring.
That guy was married to girl and he was crying about his fallen bro. This movie is kińó.

No human emotions david actually had emotions and hesitated to kill david. David grab the knife and kills him

The space ship interior is well done.