Alien Covenant

I saw it yesterday. Why anyone hasn't told me it was so shit. You said it was better than the Promethes. It wasn't you dirty fucks

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You mumbling fuckhead

Shut up, shut up, shut up

you fucked up getting an opinion about it in your head before you saw it, gg

learn 2 kino fucking pleb

Sequals to shitty movies suppose to be better

I want to fuck a Xenomorph, especially those ones with the lips in the concept art.

God, please keep posting. Your fuck ups are delicious

Wasn't bad at all.

no.

It was pretty good until the last 20 minutes when it becomes a least engaging version of Alien

fpbp

>first lander fight
>second lander fight
>killing Shaw off-screen
>killing white niggers off-screen
>absolutely ridiculous final plot twist
and thats only the tip of a shitberg

I was laughing throughout the movie because of how absurdly stupid the characters were.

This.

>neomorph > xenomorph

That thing was solid nightmare fuel. The sequence where it's picking off crewmembers in the open was way more gripping than the over-the-top climax sequence.

Last five minutes were a nice twist, tho.

I liked David as the villain and didn't think the movie was bad. So suck my cock fagboy.

This, and didn't prometheus have literally the same plot, except this time david made it?

leaving safe camp one by one in a hostile environment is not so stupid if you are a teenager trapped in a wood cabin

The movie wasnt bad. It was super bad. And Fassbender was carring the movie

At least Prometheus was kinda fresh

What exactly made it super bad?

GET YER DIRTY APE HANDS OFF MY WHEAT, YOU FILTHY COLONISTS!

I was surprised by how much I liked it. I really appreciated that Ridley went back to making a fairly straightforward monster movie, instead of the lazy philosophical piece that was Prometheus. And as a sci-fi horror, Covenant was pretty okay. The characters were all stupid, but that's basically par for the course with horror; the only thing that really bothered me were the weird contradictions to the past movies relating to how xenomorphs work, grow, and how old they apparently are.

>The sequence where it's picking off crewmembers in the open was way more gripping than the over-the-top climax sequence.
This so much. That sequence was the best thing that's been in an Alien movie in decades.

>the only thing that really bothered me were the weird contradictions to the past movies relating to how xenomorphs work, grow, and how old they apparently are.

Well i interpreted it as them still being unfinished as David is still tinkering with them.

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[Genocide intensifies]

this plus
>characters are even more stupid than in Prometheus - they dont even try to put helmets on
>Director tries to explain stupid shit from Prometheus like magic goo and he fails
>CGI from 2000
>David-Walter switching
> Builders are now Afghani villagers with a space landing bay
>Contaminated crew member is in a med bay but crew is having sex

and had noomi rapace.
but wasn't it the same? crew goes somewhere, distracted by something - go there - get fucked by aliens and it was the robot all along

or do i not remember prometheus very well?

Prometheus had an alien race. Covenant literally killed that thread because fuck you

Yeah David as the villain was great. I'm looking forward to the sequel.

I'm guessing Scott figured people would leave it at that, but there are some inconsistencies. The biggest one being the ship in Alien, which held xenomorph eggs and was supposed to have been there for a very long time (enough to be fossilized). If David created xenopmorphs, it's basically impossible for an engineer to fly a ship full of eggs to a planet millions of years ago.

The chestbursters also looked completely different, and it seems like the neomorphs and xenomorph grew way more quickly.

FUCKING FUCK MADE NO FUCKING SENSE.

I hope you are browsing THIS VERY thread mister "Sir" Ridley Scott, your movie is TRASH of the TRASHIEST quality.

It's been a while since i last saw Alien but did they say the ship was millions of years old?

The chest bursters looking so different is what makes me think they're not the same as the finished Aliens. Or Maybe Scott is just trying to retcon them or something

>did they say the ship was millions of years old?
They said that everything had been fossilized or something like that

>"Alien life form. Looks like it's been dead a long time. Fossilized. Looks like it's growing out of the chair. Bones are bent outward, like he exploded from inside."

It takes a lot longer than 18 years for something to fossilize. Plus, there's the issue of an engineer flying the ship when David had already genocided all of them ten years before creating the xenomorph.

>Plus, there's the issue of an engineer flying the ship when David had already genocided all of them ten years before creating the xenomorph.
In general I agree with you but I thought that it was just engineers' colony

>"Sir"
lol rude.

I'm not so sure those were engineers at all. They were worshipping the arrival of the ship, so they could be a colony or something like that, that look at the engineers as gods.

>Why anyone hasn't told me it was so shit
We've been having threads after threads complaining about how bad it is since it was released.

>You said it was better than the Promethes
For some reason you managed to find the 3-5 dumbasses you genuinely believe so but still miss all the ranting about Covenant?

Look at this thread. Most of ppl here liked it more than Prometheus

The end of Prometheus specifically says that they're going to the engineer's homeworld. Maybe Scott changed his mind, but David never says anything about failing to reach their destination; going by the past movie, they're supposed to be on the original engineer planet.

And I assumed the crowd was in awe at the ship because it had probably been a long time since one had come back, especially the one that was on Prometheus, if they had a way of knowing it was that ship.

You carefully managed to avoid all the threads where covenant was consistently getting ranked dead last by most anons, half of the time below shit or dog shit.

I just wanted to believe that we deserve to have nice things

Those threads are made mostly by the same user / bot who has some ridiculous hate boner for Covenant. The fact there are 24/7 Covenant threats speaks to how good of a movie it was.

Parts of it felt like Prometheus 2 the rest was awful garbage

Just like with other series that go back with prequels, the tech matchup with the Covenent and the Nostromo or even Sulaco just seems wrong. You need these shitty motion detectors yet they can just instantly pinpoint the creature on the Covenant with perfect HD cameras. I get it's a fancy new ship, but the lived in future is what works for these films.

At least they had mother which was kinda useless desu

David was so into being a creator that he created an alien race that was retarded sperg monsters that couldn't create or imagine shit,

The Nostromo was a 195 million dollar vessel while the Prometheus / Covenant was a 1 trillion dollar vessel. The two aren't even comparable.

Id agree that its hard to compare Pmoetheus to Nostromo but Covenant was also just a hauler

they were made to wipe out all life. Not to be a human replacement.

how was this "a nice twist"? it was predictable as fuck.

Those are 195 in 1970s dollars.

David was such a massive CUNT.

Like God.

I like how the last 10 minutes of the movie are trying to be "alien". It's like they just remembered that its an alien movie or smth.

>hey you just saw me talking to this alien that decapitated your crew member
>come with me and look into this egg
>don't worry it's safe

That was dumb as shit

He was a man of faith.

It makes sense now.

Dont forget that "I saw the Devil" quote and then follow the devil into the hell. Alone of course

Why are the protags in these films are dumb as shit?
Back in the old movies the people seemed smarter

It's right there in the script, ADD-kun:
>They don't trust me for the same reason the company didn't trust me to lead this mission. Because you can't be a person of faith and be counted on to make qualified, rational decisions.

Their stupidity makes up for plot holes. Putting helmets on would have saved all of them and destroy the whole movie

>and destroy the whole movie
Maybe we'd have had a better movie were the protags not dumb as shit. Ever think of that, dumb screenwriter apologist?

>those sausage fingers
How fat is that fucker? Must be pushing 300 lbs

That would make a remake of a original Alien. They wanted to move the story forward.

But its boring to watch dumbfucks die stupid deaths who don't even put up a proper fight and who don't think logical.

They should be logical as fuck and actually work after a protocol and still get BTFO, makes for a much more entertaining movie.
I don't give a shit about dumb fuck characters dying.

>He didnt care about captain Franco

there are movies where that happens, but it's not the alien franchise. not even alien 1 2 or 3.

>not even alien 1 2 or 3
> even alien 1
very low quality

I was so relieved I wasn't going to have to actually watch him act. Best twist in the movie.

I'd honestly exchange him for that fat useless bastard

And thats why the alien franchise sucks balls.
Its always dumb fucks dying dumb deaths while doing lots of dumb shit or not paying attention to their surroundings like they're ADHD kids.
Its simply boring as fuck, I don't think I will even bother pirating the next alien movie if this does not change.

In real life I already met dumb retards who think the movies are good, when I point out why its shit they're like "hurrdurr
Itsjustamovie"

Fucking imbeciles should be hanged together with that ridley scott loser, can this old fuck die already?

looking into an egg without a helmet has always been a staple of the series user. it was retarded then and it's retarded now.

Reminder that this guy couldn't understand why they didn't let him be in charge in the first place.

It wasnt smart but I wouldnt call it stupid. They didnt know it was so hostile. Also you dont know how he got attacked exactly

implying the rest of crew was smarter

David genocided a whole fucking race. Why do you think the Covenant crew ever stood a chance? The only reason the crew lasted as long as they did was because David wanted to experiment on them.

The others didn't complain about not being in charge.

Was just about to make a thread about Prometheus. Just finished last night, and I'm not entirely sure if it's good or bad.

It's bad. Even with Prometheus low expectations

>absolutely fascinating premise of human-made life form that wants to create life of its own but ends up with murderous abominations

>most of the movie is a generic space monster flick with cardboard characters you can't wait to get killed

I also hated that David created the OG xenomorph (which is the perfect predator), as well as how it grew into adult size in literally seconds because fucking space magic.

Who ever claimed that they don't grow that fast?

Is there a torrent yet?

Maybe.

You don't have to share it, it's ok...

Come on. They grew in minutes in Covenant. It was ridiculous

There is no proof that the aliens in Alien 1-4 didn't grow that fast.

Yup. Dont know about quaility thou

The first Alien movie, the xenomorph needed quite some time to grow into a full adult. In Covenant it might as well could have happened in a minute. Besides it's pretty jarring. Having a stupidly overpowered monster makes it difficult to take it seriously, compared to a creature that you know is hiding somewhere, biding it's time to grow strong enough to fuck your shit up.

They actually could have made a scene where David protects the baby xeno, it might have been pretty cool.

people that dumb wouldn't stand a chance against me even, the point is the less competent the characters are, the less impressive and intimidating the antagonist seems as he's overwhelming them.

i know in Aliens they were dumb zerg, but the fact the admittedly ragtag mercs couldn't handle them was scary, since they were impressively equipped and moved as a unit

why they behave like dumb retards?
>no helmets
>landing on planet they don't know shit about instead staying in orbit for weeks scanning it and then nuking it from orbit to be sure

>"hey man lets land on this alien planet and walk around with no helmets, what can go wrong?"

they ain't even trying to survive, its like watching animals walking into their assured death

Come to think of it, how do they grow so fast?

Genetic engineering.

lots of nutrients in semen

jk, maybe because the movie is made by a literal retard (Ridley Scott) who has no idea about the laws of thermodynamics or biology.

>no helmets
The director wanted to avoid accusations that taking helmets off was stupid. No helmets - no problem

Yeah but where does the mass come from? Wouldn't they need nutrients to fuel the process?

its impossible. You cannot produce mass out of nothing

It uses nuclear fusion to generate energy which is then turned into mass. E = mc^2.

Visuals and spacefaring stuff was pretty nice, and the Fassbenders. Basically anything that didn't involve Aliens

Baby Alien looked dumb, the characters actions weren't plausible and nothing made sense, Prometheus closure was underwhelming and I skipped through the Xenomorph-on-a-spaceship portion at the end

I watched Life and Covenant back to back, interesting how both of them basically used the same super predictable plot device for the "twist" ending. I think that's more mediocre science fiction flick action than i can muster

>literally magic
I can swallow it