Can we get a movie theater experience thread going Sup Forums? Good, bad, cringey, anything

Can we get a movie theater experience thread going Sup Forums? Good, bad, cringey, anything
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inb4 anvils and falconry

>going to the cinema for the first time in like 15 years
>with my first GF
>lean my head against her shoulder
>hold her hands and constantly caress them during the film
>switch it up
>give her a kiss on the cheek every 10 minutes

I want to go back.

>After years of working up the courage I finally go to the theater alone.
>Luckily there isnt a 'No Singles Policy' - phew first obstacle overcome.
>I nervously get past the assault course of Hell that is buying a single ticket and a single drink and snacks while enduring the smirking girl who serves me.
>I sit there waiting for the movie to start, pretending to talk on my phone to my non existent friend, saying things like "yeah I'm already here! how long will you be?"
>A couple come in and sit next to me, its an Alpha Jock Male and his smoking hot girlfriend.
>She sits next to me and smiles, she's in a tight dress and her legs and tits are pretty much in full view.
>I instantly blush, get extremely hot and avert my gaze.
>She seems excited by this and keeps looking over at me while her Jock boyfriend bores her to death talking about Football.
>Me and the hottie are sharing an arm rest, our hands are an inch apart.
>the movie has started at this point, I've barely noticed as my full attention is on this chicks legs, she must be 6 foot tall and her legs have given me an instant boner.
>She touches my hand by accident, says "oops" and gives me a dazzling smile. I'm sweating horribly and pretend it didnt happen
>A few minutes go by, she then strokes my hand and looks at me with "please fuck me" eyes.
>I panic, I feel really ill then suddenly get really dizzy and blackout.
>I wake up outside the theater in an Ambulance with medics and my mom looking at me.

true story.

What a faggot, she was probably pissed and jiusat wanted to watch the movie

last movie date ive been on was with an ex gf and we watched that shitty 2015 Godzilla movie. Fuck man things have been down hill but she turned into a drug addict so I guess my depression wins

>No Singles Policy

is this shit real or just a meme? and for what purpose too? you are clearly stopping a potential customer

HAHAHAHA YOU VIRGIN!

its real, its in every theatre in Canada

They don't want you creeping out the other customers or shooting up the place

Saw "Lawrence of Arabia" here.

Most amazing theater experience of my life.

I saw Watchmen when I lived in Baltimore. The theater was full of black people whooping and hollering like monkeys. They also wouldn't shut up about Dr. Manhattan's blue dick. After I left the theater I got cold clocked and they stole my Burberry trench coat when I was out cold.

I like to finger my butthole in the movie theater because no one can see me do it. It satisfies my fetish of doing lewd things in public without being caught.

>it's been almost a decade since I was at the cinema
>decide to see The Force Awakens at my local kinoplex
>day of the screening get a panic attack
>"oh shit boi, what if the people are gonna look at you, or make eye contact, what if you're gonna need to take a leak but you're gonna be too scared to draw attention to yourself so you'll just sit there and burst a bladder"
>decide I'm not an autistic faggot, suck it up and go anyway
>15-20 people at the screening, no kids, no autists dressed like stormtroopers etc.
>payed 4$ for my ticket and had a good time

I love Poland.

Take that whiteboi! You best be glad they didn't pound your boipucci right then and there!

What happens when it's not enough anymore?

Saw Watchmen in Crestwood, IL, and there were a bunch of black people in the theater. Rorschach dumps boiling oil on a guy in prison in one scene, and this black guy in the theater yelled "That motherfucker got fried, y'all". Funniest thing I've heard someone yell out during a movie.

Also, I forget what movie, but I was in a theater and a blind guy was there. His friend was describing things as they happened in the movie to him. It was annoying.

>Live in small majority white English city
>Go see The Hateful 8 at the cinema
>Sam Jackson's character is called a "nigger"
>Everyone laughs

>Go to the cinema to watch "F8 of the Furious"
>Most of the screen packed with chavs
>I mean fucking tracksuits everywhere
>Guy next to me gets excited and starts rocking in his seat very time a woman in a skimpy outfit appears in the film
>Every time a song comes on, gets his phone out to Shazam it
>Even the film score
>Tons of people checking Facebook on their phones

Fuck cinemas. The only time worth going is a week before it gets taken off so there are maybe a handful of people.

cringed

>Living in Burgerland
>Go to the cinema
>Everyone sits down waiting for their movie, each with their Double hamburgers, extra large fries, foot long hotdogs and extra large coke
>Production company logo comes up
>A few people go "woo" and "yeah"
>film studio logo
>More people cheer
>Film starts
>Half the people in the theatre stand up, cheering and applauding
>food starts flying everywhere
>Film title appears on screen
>Everyone else but me in the theatre is now on their feet
>food and drink being thrown in every direction
>People screaming
>People at the back chanting "U-S-A! U-S-A!"
>Hear a bang
>Several people have pulled out assault rifles and shotguns and are now firing them at them into the air with excitement
>Several people are collapsed on the floor after having heart attacks from the mix of fat in their arteries and the excitement of the movie

Church.

based chavs

>like girl back in high school
>go to public enemy in the theater alone
>get laughed at the entire first half by a bunch of foreigners
>hold out until they start throwing popcorn at me in the break for sitting alone
>leave theater, I hated the movie anyway
>work up courage to ask girl out
>she wants to go to public enemy
>tell her what happened to me the last time
>she laughs and we go anyway
>still hate the movie, it's fucking retarded
>take her home after
>ask if she wants to be my gf
>she says yes
>at my father's place two days later on the weekend
>she texted me that she has "bonding issues" and doesn't want to see me anymore
>leads me on for three more years over text and IM programs
>she's been fucking a Chad all along who she didn't have bonding issues with I guess
>hate myself
>hate her
>hate everyone around me
>completely socially isolate myself
>23 now
>no friends, only non professional relationship is with my mom whom I visit once a week

I can't thank this movie enough. It's partially responsible for turning me off to theaters and relationships forever. I would literally rather kill myself than ever take another person to a theater again. I'll never forget you, John Dillinger.

I went to Nice Guys with my dad last year. We were the only ones in the theatre sitting there so we could comment on everything as the movie progressed. Made for a really nice movie experience.

I miss you dad ;__;

most upscale theaters in the states have them now

whats an upscale theater?

>sit in nearly empty theater in a row by myself
>fucking Chad and Stacey sit in same row 5 seats down
>Stacey blows Chad the entire movie, occasionally looking my way and giggling

or just go to non-shit movies

I love going to the so called "kina studyjne" in Poland. Even if the projection hall is packed, people are focused on the movie, silent and, for the most part, in love with cinematography.

Last time I went to the movies there were pakis and they were being loud and Pakish. Its a better idea streaming it at home with the lights dimed and a nice glass of merlot

>Be from Argentina
>Started getting into Takeshi Kitano
>His movies are in few theaters and for a short time
>Brother (movie) comes to my local theater
>hype as shit
>movie starts
>fucking 10 minutes in
>dude stands up
>starts yelling something
>people startled
>SUPPORT NATIONAL CINEMA!!!
>STOP WATCHING THIS
>Dude with glasses speaks up
>Why dont you sit your ass down and learn a bit from Kitano!?!?!
>guy keeps yelling
>Girl starts to come down the aisle
>YOU COMING WITH ME?
>"no im getting security"
>mfw
>the theater's face
>asshole gets escorted out
>movie kept rolling the whole time
>missed like 5 minutes
>have to wait a couple of years and finally watch it on dvd.

They have a very intimate kind-of feeling, I understand why you would like them.

kek, I hope the chad enjoyed his waterlogged dick.

She probably wanted you to come over and sit next to her so she could blow you too

I have this one friend I always go to see movies with. I like him and he's the only friend I have but he's really fucking annoying and obnoxious at the cinema
>laughs INCREDIBLY loudly at the mildest fucking quip, actually cried with laughter at that scene in GotG 1 where Groot beats up some guys and then smiles at the camera
>keeps making remarks during the film like audibly saying 'FUCK OFF' when a character he doesn't like appears on screen etc.
>always rests his feet against the back of the seat in front even when someone sits there, and he acts shocked when someone turns around and tells him to stop
>claps his hands quietly and rapidly and bounces up and down on his seat whenever something he likes is happening
>audibly gasps and says 'KINO' he lurks here sometimes when some technical trick is used, like the lighting change on kylo ren's face during the han solo murder scene in TFA
>he actually started clapping after Rogue One and other people followed
This is not a made up person, I swear. Half the time he's not even conscious he's doing it

theaters that cater to a more cultured viewer. they usually are nicer, cost a little bit extra, have more comfortable seating, offer a full menu of delicious food, have a dress code and a no singles policy. they usually show indie flicks and classics. so are open to the public but most require you apply for membership.

you can still go by yourself to the Alamo Drafthouse. its what the "upscale" theaters here in Denver are called

>no singles policy
I'm seriously confused, is that really a thing in America, or is this a decade long shitpost at this point?

>going to first R rated movie
>The Hills Have Eyes
>somebody's cell phone goes off during the previews
>directly behind me the deepest Michael Clarke Duncan sounding black guy bellows "SOMEBODY FUCKIN UP"
>not even my phone and i got spooked

Best part of that very terrible movie

not in Colorado at least. and we had a movie theater massacre here

>I have this one friend

Then why the fuck are you trashing him? Look that sound annoying (the feet thing really bothers me) but other than that be fucking thankful you have someone that goes to the movies with you and seems to have the same taste, plus you may be overthinking it, look at it from his point of view, maybe he thinks you are too uptight at the movies and just stay silent like a robot.

What im saying, its not that big of a deal.

>Tfw forced to watch with subtitles when I'm with friends or family
Why the fuck are subtitles even needed in the Netherlands?

because you don't dub movies. in most countries they do

its mostly determined by the theater chain. the big ones like regal, imax, carmike, etc. usually don't have them, but the more boutique/niche theaters do.

But 99% of our population can speak english perfectly.

>get some needle nose pliars
>break the chains on all the poop scissors in the cinema bathroom and steal them
>come back a couple hours later after the film
>see shit leaking into the hallway because the toilets can't handle people's monster turds

>break the chains on all the poop scissors in the cinema bathroom and steal them
What the fuck are you saying?

What tricks to you like to play on the wagecucks that work at the cinema? sometimes i'll poop in a cup and leave it for them to find

>go see The Force Awakens
>just before the movie starts, some faggot lets out a Chewbacca roar
>go see Rogue One
>just before the movie starts, some faggot lets out a Chewbacca roar
I swear to god if that happens when I go see Episode 8 I'm gonna sic my falcon on them

>watch spiderman homecoming
>bunch 7 years old are sitting behind me
>they keep giggling at the porn joke for a good 5 minutes

What kind of third world cinema are you going that has no poop scissors in the bathroom?
What, do you just shit out whole logs like a bunch of primitive savages?

I'll be training to do a chewbacca roar now.

>every single movie, tv show and stream in my country is dubbed
i hate this crap because I cant hear the original voices and many jokes get lost in translation

I saw Baby Driver a week ago. All and all a good experience. My only complaint was having to sit through 10 trailers before the film started.

What the fuck is a poop scissor?

What country are you from?

This must be bait or you're beyond saving my friend.

You shall feel the fangs of Carlton Chadswell IV on your greasy unwashed scalp

I'm serious.

soundcloud.com/lazerbird-98477393/afternoon-at-the-kinoplex

>going to the cinema all alone as always
>the usual routine, bought two tickets and the multiculturally approved combo of hummus and goatmilk, family size
>also brought a womens jacket which I hold on my right arm when I enter
>"Excuse me sir but where is your companion?"
>"Oh she's at the bathroom no worries" *point at the jacket*
>"Enjoy your kíno sir"
>a bit sweaty from that interaction but it all seems good, have plenty of time to cool down during ads
>lights go off, movie finally starts
>let out the last few farts from the warm goatmilk so I can finally enjoy my highly anticipated flick
>suddenly the opening credits are stopped, cinema staff bullies come in with flashlights
>Saw a guy drinking the offensive Coca Cola drink so they gotta be after him
>but the main cinema bully flashes right at me and yells "RIGHT THERE! GET THE LOSER"
>they are clearly onto me, should've brought a more convincing and expensive women's jacket
>the whole row is throwing me out, spitting and throwing stones at me
>cinema staff bullies drag me out of there with the whole crowd cheering and clapping
>"This is the third time you broke the 'no singles policy', you're going to jail you fucking weirdo"
>they throw me in the cinema jail, small dirty cell with no windows or toilet (pic related), just a designated shitting corner
>they don't tell me the time or date so I don't know if I was there for weeks or months
>survive on eating only leftover spilled cinema hummus and sheep blood which the cinema staff scrapes of the floor of every screening
>get to know all the other losers in nearby cells, we form a secret women hating club in there
>one other loser overhears our conversation and starts yelling at us
>brawl ensues, cinema jail clans are fighting to death
>I pretend dead so the staff throws me out in the dumpster with the rest of the bodies
>wait for the night to fall and run back home to my room
>have to start collecting good boy points all over again

and that's why I torrent

scissors to get the solidified crusted shit out of your ass hair

Audio kino. A true experience.

Germany

>going to theater with brother
>hes kinda weird
>ask him to stand over by the bathrooms while i buy the tickets
>he has water in his bags were trying to sneak in
>she asks him to comeover and show her whats inside the bag
>she says she knows there is water but needs to check for weapons
>she can barely reach around the bag
>my brother takes it and dumps it on the counte
>two water bottles and two cases of tacks from his school project spill out
>tacks pop open and spill all over her side of the counter
>she just stands still as she calls the ticket collector over to help
>we say we can help but she says not to worry about.
>ticket collector is like 400 pounds and sits down on the ground to pick up the tacks
>sits on a tack and mumbles "muther fuckrrr"
>get the tacks back and go to the ticket collector stand
>she needs help getting up and hobbles over to us
>get tix

We saw the wall and it was god awful so thats probably my worst cinema experience. It was regal btw

Hello, neighbour.

There are more than enough local cinemas that screen original audio in germany, just stop going to trash mall theatres.

>go to local kínoráma
>buy a ticket for Avengers: Rise of the Antagonist 2000 for 74,99$
>the cashier leans over the counter handing me the ticket and a polymer-framed, short recoil-operated, locked-breech semi-automatic Glock pistol
>the ticket says "Congratulations, today you're the designated cinema shooter, have fun operating!"
>I nod at the cashier, she nods back
>sit on the far left near the first row
>wait for the ads and trailers to pass, slightly nervous
>opening credits finally start
>I immediately get up and shoot up the whole row
>whole theater get's up in excitement and start clapping and cheering as I reload
>I proceed to shoot up the whole theater with a tear in my eye, trying my hardest not to make anyone feel ignored
>the kids birthday section were visibly the most excited
>as I finish the cinema staff comes in congratulating and sweeping the spilled popcorn, guts and blood
>they even let me keep the Glock
>manager even sends me a thank you card at my home for the good work

Best 74,99$ ever spent.

>be me 18

>Wanted to see Superbad
>Middle of the afternoon nothing to do
>fuck it I'll see it alone what's wrong with that?
>Some girls giggled at me.
>At the time I was pretty embarassed
>It's ok though I was fat, smelled atrocious, and never wore socks.
>Social humiliation probably helped me to overcome being a complete sperg.

All in all I give Superbad an 8/10, one of the better comedies from that era.

none of them are close enough to the shithole I'm living in, and I highly doubt my gf wants to watch something in english or any other foreign language, she's got troubles understanding what's being said

Grüß Gott

People like your dumb girlfriend are the reason why you have german dubs in all media.
Y

>go to local kinotorium to see the new Wonder Woman film
>my stepdad Robert who works at the concession stand lets me in through the side door to evade the no singles policy
>sit down
>movie starts
>the cinema sniper is letting a make-a-wish kid take a couple of shots
>the leukemia ridden kid can hardly aim the rifle, but he does his best
>fat guy sitting next to me catches one in the gut
>doesn't even die immediately
>blood, poop and half-digested crab legs fly all over me

>go to see logan
>decent flick
>halfway through the designated shoota opens fire and shoots me in the head
>fucking dick
>everything goes dark
>reawaken in the necromancer's pit
>my flesh has partially rotted away because their cryo units were malfunctioning
>receive a complimentary kinocard to see one free kino
>shamble over to the wonder woman screening
>worried that my zombie appearance might be off-putting
>turns out the wonder woman audience was good company
>okay flick