How do I become Steven Seagal?
How do I become Steven Seagal?
Jordan Nguyen
Camden Allen
Act like the autism in Sup Forums.
Thomas Reyes
you have to snatch them by their punanis
Hudson Anderson
Sing about the punani
Camden Young
Requesting more
John Cooper
is that spray paint in his hairline?
Parker Wright
...
Levi Sanders
black magic marker on the front, rest is a wig
confirmed by tom arnold
Christian Carter
...
Jayden Jackson
Eat and don't show up to work.
Julian Cook
...
Jordan Carter
...
Kayden Cox
...
Brandon Allen
Be a dick that pretends to know how to fight
John Wilson
...
Tyler Moore
such poor continuity in editing
Julian Russell
...
Tyler Davis
...
Jackson Harris
desu he does know how to fight and he could probably fuck up most people if it came down to it
Caleb Thompson
...
Owen Ward
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Gavin Sullivan
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Carter Martin
>that story about him getting choked out & shitting himself loudly
PURE FUCKING KINO
Robert Jones
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Carter Cruz
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Jose Jackson
punani=snatched
John Kelly
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Jace Thompson
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Camden Barnes
...
Gavin Gray
>The negro edited in between jump cuts.
Gets me every time
Jace Fisher
...
Andrew Thompson
...
Jaxon Smith
...
Brody Moore
and that's all I have
Adam Clark
Anthony Torres
even Bateman, a delusional character suffering from psychosis, wondered how his shots from a handgun blew up a police cruiser.
Charles Parker
I don't think I've seen a Segal movie in almost years. Was he always this bad or did he turn into this?
Justin Ortiz
>pretends to know how to fight
Say what you want about his acting but the dude could fuck up everyone ITT.
Wyatt Butler
I'm a boxer
Owen Williams
dude shit himself mid fight
Nicholas Hill
And what the fuck makes you think that? Him being an obese old man? Or him being a black belt in a literal fantasy LARPing "martial art"?
Nathan Gutierrez
I think I could easily best him even with my rudimentary muay thai and BJJ skills.
Liam Turner
>not smearing your opponent in shit mid fight to gain the psychological advantage
yeah, you'd lose
Luis Torres
Aikido isn't shit to fuck with. Check out some of the videos of him in the 70s that are floating around in YouTube.
Jose Jenkins
yeah, akido and hapkido is legit. stop being retarded
Nolan Howard
Thank you very much
It's been a while since there was a good seagal thread
Brandon Myers
EHHHHH
WHAT'S UP? DOC?
Kayden Turner
Every. Single. Time. Holy shit bahahaha.
Henry Howard
I think he could but it's his size alone that gives him the upper hand, rather than any of his training.
Kayden Bailey
Aikido is easily amongst the least legit martial arts forms in the whole world, barely edging out the fat lightsaber kid.
Jacob Miller
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Adrian White
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John Long
I don't understand how someone could do the exact same thing for the past thirty years and still be so fucking bad at it.
Henry Kelly
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Zachary Flores
holy shit lmao
Kayden Morris
...
Ryder Torres
Why are people talking about beating this man? If he had half a mind to snatch your motherfucker birthday then YOU'RE ALREADY DEAD!
Juan Morris
i swear to god hes hiding a turtleshell underneath that coat
Lincoln Young
When Steven Seagal was playing the hand slap game with that guy in the bar, how the hell did that guy know the answer? Who the hell knows the answer to "What does it take to change the essence of a man?"
Did Seagal just want to beat him up, did he beat it into him, or would have Seagal accept any random answer?
Easton Miller
CRINGE
Brody Thompson
>6'1" vs 5'11".webm
Julian Foster
go to bed seagull
Luke Long
...
Hunter Gomez
>delusions of expertise
aikido was made for this man.
Julian Clark
Did he direct these movies?
He's so fucking fat jesus. It doesn't qualify even as a B-class movie.
Gabriel Ramirez
sauce?
David Bell
Dominic Gomez
Is he so fat that it takes him a full day to cross a bridge?
Kayden White
Fake your career.
Luke Peterson
>There were numerous people present on the day when Gene Lebell met Steven Seagal and allegedly fought. In reality, no fight occurred and there was no contact between Gene and Steven on that movie set. Gene’s role was to work as a Utility Stuntman under the stunt coordinator, Conard Palmisano. Steven also had two bodyguards present who were LAPD officers. As his security specialists and professional law enforcement officials, they would both have been in serious trouble had they let their boss get choked out, and possibly killed, by a marginal stuntman. The stunt coordinator, Conrad Palmisono was there and witnessed any interactions that occurred between Gene and Steven. Conrad Pamisano was one of the most successful Stunt coordinators working in show business at the time. The legal exposure and professional consequences for Conrad would have been severe had he let a stuntman under his supervision aggressively even touch any star on a movie set. Quite simply, Conrad, as a professional with great responsibility, would never have allowed this situation to occur.
>Another stuntman by the name of Steve Lambert was also an eyewitness to Gene’s and Steven’s brief interaction. He also stated that Gene never choked out Steven and that no altercation ever occurred. Again, this is not some street fight, or casual dojo situation. If such an altercation happened on a professional movie set the consequences for the producers, directors and the movie studio would be most severe. A stuntman (Lebell) simply cannot choke out and hurt the lead star of a movie in production on the set. The legal liability and damage to their professional reputations would be unthinkable. Quite simply the set would have been closed down. If the star lost consciousness a doctor’s signed release would be legally required for Steven to go back to work. No such record exists.
Cooper Hill
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Alexander Rivera
>Credit: Steven Seagal Forums
Jace Peterson
Some of these obvious editing errors are kind of neat desu
Elijah Nguyen
I...I never shitted myself -Steven
Chase Rivera
Go to bed, Gene. We need you up bright and early to scrub out the toilets tomorrow.
Chase Cruz
why, did someone choke you out on the toilet floor this time Stevie?
Colton Ward
This always made me laugh cause he made a quip/threat to a tv, a tv that is clearly not on
Jonathan Ortiz
Join CIA
Logan Reed
Does Gene Lebell have a scat fetish?
Easton Cook
>Study aikido
>Eat a lot (warrior needs energy)
>Move slowly and very little (warrior needs to preserve enegery)
>Speak quietly and mumbling (it makes you mysterious)
>Tell people that you used to work for your countrys intelligence agency
>Collect katanas
>Collect 1911A1's (airsofts are fine if you dont live in freedomland)
>Dye your hair with black shoe polish
>Wear clothes like kimonos or oversized leather coats
>Claim that you have multiple ethnicities
>Claim that you were born in some exotic country (Mongolia, Russia, Belarus, Serbia)
>Stare random people with murderous stare
that should get you started
Landon Bell
kek
Someone post the webm where he's shooting without looking
Levi Campbell
You forgot make weird ass faces while playing the guitar
Adam Cooper
Seagal is slavic man, but he has the heart and soul of a black blues guitarist.
Angel Ramirez
i am very proud that me and Steven Seagal both have Mongolian ancestry. We both are also big guy's.
The blood from the east flows within our veins.
Jonathan Collins
is there anything this man can't do?
Jacob Flores
pssssh.... nothin.... personnel.................. kid.......................................
Aiden Perez
He barely touches them lmao
Chase Young
god his technique is so slow, its supposed to look more like 2:30 in vid
Owen Foster
...
Grayson Cruz
as expected of an aikido master
Tyler James
He's a friend of Putin, what more could you ask for?
Christopher Green
...
Tyler Gutierrez
are pinky promises a traditional japanese thing?
Elijah Murphy
PIDARAS
Justin Long
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Landon Flores
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Jaxson Clark
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Dominic Hall
Dont forget he's also a good buddy with Alexander Lukashenko, Serbian Prime Minister Vucic, Sheriff Joe Arpaio.
He's also a honorary member of two Native American tribes, Tibetian monks and Serbian Police Special Forces
Kevin Collins
>youtube.com
I'm starting to like some of his songs unironically.
Brayden Barnes
>65% more bullet per bullet while still ejecting the case
holy shit on what level is he even operating?