My dad is an Aussie

My dad is an Aussie.

How fucked am I?

You should probably just hang yourself, at least, that's what I would do.

brb, hanging self

So that would make your dick size bigger than the average American

Tell me how this is a bad thing?

>im half aussie guys!! pls give me attention!!

Why is Sup Forums so obsessed with us?

Because you are one of the last white bastions on planet Earth.

Does he go the full Aussie and freak your friends out or what?

Yes. He scared away my friends more times I can remember.

Like I have to threaten his drunk ass all the time.

Is he an arsehole when hes drunk or just annoying?

He is an amazing man when HE IS NOT DRINKING.

When he is drinking he is the worst human on Earth and he needs to go back.

What does he say when you tell him drinking makes him a nasty prick?

Sounds about right
He's probably homesick and it comes out as repressed passive aggressive rage when drunk

That or he's actually a tool

Aussies come in two flavours, cunt or faggot, much like the British. If you're pa is a cunt then you're alright mate, if he's a faggot then just

He goes full Aussie mode. He says OI. He calls me a cunt. He blabbers in gibberish. Fun times.

What sheila did he race mix with?

Fuck off you drongo poof.

Grats, I think that gives you 20% or so natural resistance to venom and the skill 'taunt' by default.

A German cunt.

jew dun goof'd pooftah m8

That's how they express their love for others, now you need to respect his/ half of your culture by kicking him in the dick and shove a foster up his ass. Then you two can ride a traditional kangaroo to the local out back stake house where you can finally embrace him as your father.

My dubs don't lie

>his american mum got cucked by the big aussie dick

How does it feel to be a half-cast m8?

This obsession with Australia is fucking embarrassing. Its Tumblr, no, 9gag tier. We're just a hardworking and laid back people who have our own special culture and who turned an inhospitable land into one of the best countries in the world. Just leave us be and stop obsessing over our quirky and random XDXD cliches.

>Don't hit on me you silly goys

An Aussie and a German making a yank? That's pretty brilliant, what do you parents do career wise? Are you a failure? What cultures are you closer too?

Those 3 cultures could come out in a pretty good mix of nationalism, liberty and laid back.

In other words, go hunting and then a beer at the pub to bond.

BEAKED

Not telling.

One day you'll need to pull rank. Go full Aussie right back at him...Hang around the aussie shitposters threads to get a good vocabulary to spray him with...he might shut up if you get get it over him!

This thread is fantastic, it really makes me want to go fuck a bunch of British/American girls and troll our kids at school in a pair of stubbies & thongs. Fuck someone needs to make a movie.

Naah all you have to do is say it...Like " mate you need a good kick in the cunt 'n' when yer bent over I'll shove a can of fosters up yer arse ya useless cunt! ! Anyway Just remember here in Aus WE ALL HAVE AUSSIE FATHERS.

>white
>western in the Midsts of Asia
>Always down to banter

I'm a quarter-Aussie, Sup Forums finally made me realize where my roots for banter come from, wish to visit soon.

>no salsas
>no tortillas
>no guacamole around
>no thick stakes on sight
>white onion
>no barbacoa sauce at least
shit food 2bh

>western in the Midsts of Asia
Never thought of it this way, we should have stronger ties with our Asian overlords, ganks haven't done shit for us lately.

> WE ALL HAVE AUSSIE FATHERS

Fuck what does that make me then......

well you started with this slide thread, so the news isn't good

Have you not been to bunnings on election day?

> Stakes
> stake house
..................

yes they told me you guys get free hotdogs after voting

not hotdogs, snags

My dad is Australian too. But I've lived there half my life as well, so I at least understand the culture like I doubt you do.

Do you even Vegemite?

So your dad is Chinese. Big deal.

Unless your mother is 100% Australian you will never be able verbally outshitpost your father. If that is the case don't even bother debating hour father unless you want to get battered out to the point of no return.

Nowhere near as fucked as your mum is regularly.