/brit/

literature edition

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NEW WOES
fucking finally

youtube.com/watch?v=gFBRUKtzSWU

first for william morris

FUCK OFF YANKS

lads

'ri

feel another puke coming

imagine going on a rampage only for the articles about you to end up being titled «rage of the virgin»

you been looking in the mirror again

I love how the media are desperately trying to exaggerate the threat of white far-right terrorism

...

white hands typed this post

Toilberg! Is it... over?

>At long last. No weekend lasts forever, my runt.

I see... only toiling.. before... me...

(forgot to post this last night aha sorry lads)

gromit

far-right terrorists unironically pose more of a threat to minorities than islamic terrorists pose to white people

...

NEED a gf like this

wank before or after dinner?

ain't been pakibashing with the lads for yonks

Good Time was a top film

hmm

what, ugly? loads of them about mate

seamus has a folder of the same 13 images that apparently have to be reposted every single day

i really like robert pattinson as a person but haven't seen anything with him in that i liked
will give this a go tho

Islam is far-right, so you are correct.

lads I think I'm getting taller
how likely is it to get a growth spurt at 22

Four minutes is a lot of fucking direct eye contact for two strangers

he's tapped in the head

seriously wish I didn't miss out on the late 2000's, it looks really cozy, but I was a complete shut-in then

Shagging a prostitute does count as losing your virginity

with women: you pay money towards dates and personal improvement to have sex with her
with prostitutes: you pay money directly towards the woman to have sex with her

the only difference is that prostitutes are more upfront and honest
therefore it counts

‘tism shaming is poor form

0 unless you have some extreme late onset growth thing or some extremely rare condition

during

wooing is involved with the first, not the latter

besides if you don't go dutch you're some Rees-Mogg type autist or really fucking stupid and thirsty

>seamus has a folder of the same 13 images that apparently have to be reposted every single day

there he goes again

seamus doesn't have any friends, is a virgin, browses Sup Forums all day and crossposts the shit he finds there here

Frankly if you've never shagged a prostitute, I don't consider you to have actually lost your virginity

genuinely irrelevant you spazzy paddy

No it doesn't your retard. A prostitute literally cannot say no to you.

>seamus has a folder of the same 13 images that apparently have to be reposted every single day

describe what looks cozy about it? just wondering

umm i think that’s wrong

yes she can fritz

leftypol SEETHING

>A prostitute literally cannot say no to you

A German rapist, whoda thunk

what do you think is happening may onwards?

yes she can
it's her business, she can turn down a client if she wants

*enters /brit/*

I'm wearing a Tom Ford suit, shoes and glasses, my Burberry raincoat draped over my arm. The raincoat, along with my hair, are both dampened by the torrential showers that have plagued the area for years now. The maître d' can see my discomfort and offers me a towel and asks if I'd like to order anything. No, thank you, I reply, opting for head for the piano instead.

*plays a rough composition of Piano Sonata No.14 by Beethoven from memory*

*all the patrons drop their FT, and begin to slowly sip their whiskey as they have a flashback montage of all the people they have loved and lost*

The room goes silent, bar a few sighs and the piano, everybody is too busy contemplating. After a passionate session of playing, I rise, order a vodka, on the rocks, no ice and recline in my first generation Eames chair and ottoman, as I begin to ponder on everything that went wrong in my life. A tortured soul, one that has witnessed too much pain and heartbreak. it's just me and the cruel, empty world we are all subject to, it always has been. I leave, half drunk, throw on my raincoat and hop into my Mercedes 300sl Gullwing. The visibility is poor, my field of view consists entirely of raindrops and the occasional flash of light. suddenly, I slide, hit a barrier and roll off the icy road and down a waterlogged bank. My birth, my parents (long gone), my first love, my first child all flash before me, before I die on the freezing cold grass, all alone.

ngl american football looks like a hoot

not a word sorry

never gone dutch on a first date, a few have paid for me mind you

probably the person he's living with can't have Woes stay with him/her any more so Woes will have to be on the move again
which will be an opportunity for him to get healthy, get well read, maybe find a gf
Idk

electro music that is albeit ironically preppy, isn't glorifying black people and incorporating rap stuff. Songs about young, silly love

guess it's technically the music of my age group or the people like two years older than me but I missed out because I just played video games and read. Seriously didn't even know it was happening at the time

youtube.com/watch?v=Zb0T6SdSYW4

go to the chippy get a mars bar battered
step in my way get your jaw side shattered

Thoughts on Shakespeare?

What fetish should I make the theme of my evening wank lads?

getting tanked on pisswater and eating barbecue food in the parking lot of a massive stadium and picking up cute rural girls with very long hair

>Knowing one's “Individuality”.—We too often forget that in the eyes of strangers who see us for the first time we are quite different beings from what we consider ourselves to be—in most cases we exhibit nothing more than one particular characteristic which catches the eye of the stranger, [pg 295] and determines the impression we make on him. Thus the most peaceful and fair-minded man, if only he has a big moustache, may, as it were, repose in the shade of this moustache; for ordinary eyes will merely see in him the accessory of a big moustache, that is to say, a military, irascible, and occasionally violent character, and will act accordingly. (the dawn of day #381)

tried to not like Shakespeare through high school to be edgy but his plays are really too good

didn't exist

god i really want to get wankered

>albeit

gonna ask a girl out on a velentine's day date lads


what do you do for valentine's day dates?

you don't have a first date on valentine's you fucking creep

>probably the person he's living with can't have Woes stay with him/her any more so Woes will have to be on the move again
>which will be an opportunity for him to get healthy, get well read, maybe find a gf
>Idk

the state of this fat scottish NEET

Time to #rethinkBrexit my lads.
You're fucked lol

quite like music

No it doesn't you desperate little virgin.

When you hire an escort you're paying for her vagina. Not love, not intimacy, not bonding. You could fuck a fresh corpse and it would be nearly the same experience.

Losing your virginity (in the way that actually counts) is significant, because it means that somebody loved you and trusted you enough to have sex with you, and you shared a deep and intimate bond with them.

That's something an escort customer (virgin) has NEVER experienced.

the IDF mate said he's going to be busy for a few weeks and he's been posted to a certain "backwoods shithole" for a "training exercise" and that I might find out what he's talking about by the end of the week

wtf are the Jews planning lads

the 17 million have spoken you daft wog

...

Completely useless pseudo-intellectual verbiage that will only make you self-conscious. You see yourself how you see yourself and if the people don't get it fuck them.

large donner and chips ordered, that's tea sorted lads

It's not a first date, you illiterate abomination.

catalogue races in argos

think of an item then you both race to find the page, winner gets fingered round the back of wilko

guy who delivered my pizza looked like alan

Would eagerly get drunk and then sleep with this trashy woman

how much into town boss

havent eaten all day and can smell next door cooking something delicious
torture torture torture

>gonna ask a girl out
>a girl

wow sorry, didn't notice you were autistic to the point of calling a girl you're regularly seeing just "a girl"

yeah alright I'll have a lamb korma, garlic naan and a large pilau rice if you please

>virgin
actually I lost my virginity to a woman ages ago, you mong

>virginity is about intimacy and feelings
no it isn't
stop moving the goalposts

Did the skots slob whinge into a mic?

smell this
*farts*

Why the fuck would I call someone who isn't my girlfriend anything but "a girl"? You utter mongoloid.

invested in bitcoin at £14.7k lads

Umm were charities even like mentioned? Umm don't think so lol. Um sweetie sweetie sweetie thinking you live in a democracy

>if you please

tfw some kraut thinks a one night stand doesn't count as losing ur virginty what a complete goblin

>actually I lost my virginity to a woman ages ago, you mong
did you last a good 2 hours, i hear its the standard goal?

i wouldn’t call it useless, it’s quite true. realising that certain traits are judged upon straight away shouldn’t make you self conscious. you can still think ‘fuck you’ and be aware of the implications of broadcasting certain mannerisms. i imagine the man who gets a face tattoo is aware he will often be judged upon that and only that, but doesn’t care enough to change his mind

It isn't as rare as you make it sound to have sex with a girl no money spent

haha

what is that a picture for manlets?

oh right...

based Alan being ironic to take the piss out of remainmongs

how do you like your coffee lads?

What colour should I do my brake calipers lads?

>shagging straight for 2 hours
literally nobody can do this
stop watching porn and assuming that it's all one take you utter fucking retard