King Of The Hill Season 3 Episode 16 "Return to La Grunta"
Luanne gets a job as a drink girl at a resort called “La Grunta”, where the golfers sexually harass her. Meanwhile, Hank goes to La Grunta to swim with the dolphins—and gets molested by one of them.
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I've read that female dolphins are able to manipulate their vaginal muscles to clamp down on your penis and milk the cum right out of you. They also secrete a substance that drastically shortens your refractory period so you can end up cumming for like 30 minutes straight.
Huh.
He's just lucky it didn't have a rape cave.
So u gonna link us or hwut
Jotaro please
...
>True or False: Dolphins are the only sea mammals that don't mate for life.
>TRUE! Instead, most dolphins mate for death.
didn't that one guy get his glans ripped off trying to fuck a dolphin
who?
We call him Dickstump Darrell
I cannot watch this episode since a similar event happened to me.
People joke about trigger warnings but it's true. 6 weeks in the hospital to rebuild my rectum, a lifetime of nightmares.
...
post hot peggy
No. Post Hot Henrietta.
Even though you're Boco I can't pass up an opportunity to post this image.
>raped and torn apart by dolphins
Why are they like this, Sup Forums?
well now we need a storytime
>6 weeks in the hospital to rebuild my rectum
Does your rectum at least meet the fire code now?
Short version:
I went to one of those "swim with the dolphin" deals. I have bad anxiety and this is supposed to help. Save up money for years to do this.
Hop in water, start swimming. Dolphin swims next to me. I feel at peace like never before.
He starts poking me with his nose, playfully at first. Then shoves his nose pretty forcefully between my buttcheeks.
I start yelling for help but the trainer had stepped out to grab fish for me to feed the dolphin. Suddenly hit with full force of the dolphin, slamming me into the side of the pool and trapping me. The dolphin feels like it's trying to climb up my back. It slides down, flippers pull down my trunks.
I struggle but still can't move. Then it enters me.
It lasted about 4 minutes before the trainer showed up. That was enough to turn my anus into a bloody mess. I've seen pictures from the ER - it looks like someone smashed a tomato, then covered it with melted chocolate and mayonnaise.
Spend 6 weeks in hospital then. Sue aquarium and win. 30 million doesn't do shit to stop the nightmares or inability to be intimate with a woman.
Hm...really makes you think...
> Sup Forums - Animals and Nature
>here's my fantasy
Yeah, if this was real, the news would have been all over it.
>she will never milk you dry until you die
>but before you die whisper into your ears about how she's going to abort your spawn and make your child's death into a profitable pop song for abortions
Why live?
this is a dumb meme perpetuated by bigots to scare people away from zoosexuality
Part of the settlement was I would not publish or speaker the media about this.
Not that I would want to anyway. And reporters don't typically patrol a major aquarium looking for hot news stories unless someone alerts them.
>Part of the settlement was I would not publish or speaker the media about this.
>And reporters don't typically patrol a major aquarium looking for hot news stories unless someone alerts them.
Amazing. You have no idea how news works.
Or dolphins for that matter. They use their TEETH to pull shit, not fins.
Fake. Also gay.
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if such a substance existed, why wouldn't we just have it already?
episode pissed me off. what those guys did to luanne was fucking nothing. it was just harmless flirtation.
in his defense how would you know how your trunks were pulled down? you can't see that happening
Thanks to the unholy amounts of Dolphin porn that gets posted on Sup Forums I know there's no way a Dolphin could keep it up long enough to fuck you for 4 minutes. You can get one off in like 30 seconds with a handy.
oh look at hank, he was asking for it
dolphins have good control over their vaginal muscles but the magical boner-making juice is a myth
also worth noting: male dolphins often employ gang rape as a reproductive strategy
who made that fucking myth
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Don't fall for it man. They're power bottoms that could easily maim a human penis
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I have relevant reaction images for this post?!
I must post this...
Smaller than I expected
Dolphins
>Brainless rapemachines
Orcas
>Apex predator of the oceans. All of them
>Genuinely like humans and never attack them unless you capture and torture them, like no shit
>Have developed societies and a strong sense of empathy
You would be able to feel the trunks slipping down your thighs and a bit more water gushing onto your ass, though.
there's no way that's what a dolphin's dick looks like
Sorry sempai.
jesus
Yeah, but they eat seals.
Seals are Mexicans of the ocean
They still dolphins user, they still jerks.
There is no wall in the ocean.
Dolphins could be bros if they weren't fucked in the head. Orca are clearly the superior sea mammal though.
The beach is the wall of the ocean.
They climb up the beach and sleep on the land (America)
I note that you made no effort to back up the "rape cave" myth. There is a world of difference between the occasionally horny dolphin trying to bone a diver and rape caves,
WE NEED TO BUILD A WALL AND THE SEA LIONS ARE GONNA PAY FOR IT.
Leopard seals are pretty cool
Is there a possibility of being able to harvest this substance of theirs so that a person would be able to use it just curious about this
Have they ever killed a human? They look like they could bite a head off if they wanted.
>Have they ever killed a human?
Yes.
There was a scientist who dragged to the deep and drowned.
Nah, they might be the friendliest non-domesticated animal on earth. They don't take well to captivity though because they're too fucking smart.
Like you can stick regular fish in a barrel, they don't care, they just want to eat and fuck. Seal an Orca in a small dark container though and they go batshit insane after a day, these are highly intelligent social mammals.
Is this the anglo solution for everything?
That's not a myth.
Dolphins do in fact rape and murder people. The rape caves are a real thing.
The fact that it hurts you masturbation fantasy of awesome super intelligent sea critters that you've never spent any time around at all means nothing.
They love humans so much that they can't contain themselves.
>A whole thread about dolphin fucking
>Dolphins fucking people, at that
I'd say "Never change, Sup Forums," but...
>you will never save a beached dolphin
>he will never repay you by taking you back to his home and having gentle, consensual sex
>he will never introduce you to his pod of dolphin friends and family and make love to each one in turn. even the loli dolphins
>he will never show you advanced dolphin technology that lets you breathe underwater and survive ocean pressures so you can live amongst them, eating fish, raping swimmers, and having loving dolphin sex with any or all of them at once
Feels bad..
Just visit Sweden with your head in a bucket of water and demand that the people make chirping noises.
>Yet another Sup Forums discussion about animal genitalia/sexuality.
>gentle, consensual sex
have you not been paying attention?
Fuck you it's my fantasy and i'll do what I want inside it.
>he
>harmless flirtation
Didn't they grab or slap her ass? Actual assault, broski.
see
>Prehensile penis used to drag down victims
Nah, totally legit. No way was it a joke.
dolphins can be guys, fuckwit
No they can't, they're like cats.
All female
Leave your tomcat alone!
Tomcats are cats that act masculine.
Like tomboys. They're still girls, stupid
*calico cats
ftfy dumbshit
Could I please have a source senpai?
Fun fact: In the 70s they tried to teach a dolphin to speak English by raising it by hand in a partially flooded house while also taking LSD with it.
The dolphin eventually got sexually attracted to the female researcher, who began to give it handjobs in order to keep it calm.
It did not, after all, learn English.
Did they learn anything aboout dolphin pussy?
And yet when I take LSD in a partially flooded house no one gives ME handjobs
Fucking hypocrites
Funner fact: the guy whose idea it was to do all that crazy shit went crazier later in life and wrote rambling works about the "Earth Coincidence Control Office", a space based organization that he believed was controlling our lives.
I've never known but have chosen to believe that those Ecco the Dolphin games were named in reference to him
Bull shit. Just filing the lawsuit would send up all sorts of red flags, especially from people who fucking hate captive sea animal shows. Also, no way they would settle for 30 million. You need to refine the details of your story.
I remember that. Apparently it didn't like her to have any friends around either, and would attack them to get her all alone for handyJ time.
Anyone see that book some guy wrote about his "psychic connection" with a dolphin he met at SeaWorld?
You don't need to file a lawsuit to get a settlement. Many companies will offer a settlement just to avoid a lawsuit in the first place.
That being said, that guy is a total liar, and they wouldn't have 30 million sitting around. Nor would the dolphin use it's fins to pull his trunks off. Wouldn't be fucking him for 4 minutes either.
He literally came to this thread to tell us all about his fantasy of getting raped by a dolphin.
>Anyone see that book some guy wrote about his "psychic connection" with a dolphin he met at SeaWorld?
He fucked the female dolphin. It resulted in permanent nerve damage and numbness of his dick.
Wait, you actually READ the book? Tell us more.
I read about that specifically because I saw this thread earlier. Its kind of sad that the guy in charge of the thing was fucking crazy. But then, it seems like every time they try to figure out how to communicate with intelligent animals it's done by drug puffing hippies or their work gets discredited by a bunch of assholes who go off about how the ape is trained to have a conversation and doesn't know what the fuck it is actually saying.
>He fucked the female dolphin. It resulted in permanent nerve damage and numbness of his dick.
what is this thread
>You don't need to file a lawsuit to get a settlement.
True, but then you don't say you sued someone. You sent a demand letter and they settled out of court. If you go through with the actual act of suing, it becomes a matter of public record. If Jokey is trying to sell us on his Dolphin rape fantasy, he needs to get the details right.
The 30 million is the dead give away. You're either talking Sea World, who would have the money but also the lawyers smart enough to say HE tried to rape the dolphin or did something he shouldn't have (and they'd be happy to settle out of court, but not for 30 million) , or it would be some rinky dink dolphin encounter who wouldn't possibly agree to a 30 million dollar settlement they had no way of paying.
The dolphin also killed itself after the experiment was ended.
One you go human...
Just like elves.
Thats very common actually.
You win this thread user.
Considering the fact they came from something like pic related, it makes some sense.
The dexterity of it on the other hand.
elder scrolls is the only exception to this rule