I'm going to travel to Australia this year. Tips?

I'm going to travel to Australia this year. Tips?

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youtube.com/watch?v=6qpsQg9pWJo
abc.net.au/news/2017-12-08/charters-towers-bats-concern-residents/9239638
karapaia.com/archives/52136737.html
abc.net.au/news/2017-08-16/melbourne-named-worlds-most-liveable-city-for-seventh-year/8812196
youtube.com/watch?v=pH1dVaRAtY4
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Why?

Why not? Anything is better than Brazil.

Well, the typical answer: to study and work mainly.

The warning signs at the beach are not suggestions. Don't make us look bad by drowning.

you'll feel right at home. there's millions of you in sydney

go for a relaxing bike ride along the nullarbor.
don't bring a phone so you can disconnect from social media and be more in tune with nature along the way

no there isn't.

>anything is better than brazil

you will either end up slaving in a 7/11 or brazilian restaurant and will pay out the arse for your education, it's better to come here to pursue something higher than a bachelor, mate.

Sydney and melbourne will be boring honestly. go other places

>Toowoomba
>Alice Springs
>Sunshine Coast
>Gold Coast

I guarantee he'll come here, get BTFO and go home crying about how terrible Australia is.

>w-what do you mean you don't ride kangaroos?

>Alice Springs
>Not boring

check your boots before you put them on in the morning. Also check under toilet seats before you sit down, especially outdoor toilets.

as a tourist would you rather go to stereotypiccal big city you can see everywhere
or a desert village with mcdonalds and petrol sniffers

>Alice Springs
Fuck off, dont send em here, sick of Brazilian and Spanish nationals here. I work with NT Police and they always come into the cop shop at night bloodied and bruised because they think its safe to walk at night, retards

These are in the water and will kill you within minutes.

this

>lives in Northern Territory

My condolences.

These are also everywhere and will kill you within minutes.

>tbar

That's like white people going to a third world country and taking pictures of the homeless children on the street like they're at a zoo.

I live in Ipswich and I walk at night

You guys don't ride kangaroos? ;(

These as well.

If you tried to ride a Kangaroo, it would disembowel you.

And these like to hide in peoples shoes.

>Doing roadworks in rural QLD
>Nearest hospital is more than 30 minutes away

I killed 3 of these shits during my time there.

Do NOT go to Alice Springs, wtf. If you had to go anywhere in the NT just go to Darwin like a normal person. It's not too bad here if you're into outdoors-y shit like fishing or if you just feel like getting death rolled by a croc. Plus there's a lot of high paying, braindead work opportunities for travellers such as picking mangos or holding signage near roadworks.

i want to got to alice springs
darwin sux

Can't be worse than Newcastle.

Get on my level

Visit either during the autumn or end of winter/early spring to avoid the worst of the heat, rain and holiday peak prices for accommodation and shit, since tourist spots like to bleed wallets dry.
If for whatever reason you've never been to a beach, try not to fucking drown. There are always tourists getting dragged out and under by really obvious rips. I guess as a general rule, caution signs around bodies of water, nature reserves, etc. aren't there for show.

Why the fuck would you want to visit Australia?

>study and work
Don't expect to be able to find work easy. When people say this country is shit for jobs, they really mean in.

You Australians think you're tough? You've seen nothing

How about THIS

youtube.com/watch?v=6qpsQg9pWJo

...

Kek, how to kill tourists for dummies.

Don't fucking behave like a fucking huehue monkey from favela.

right... because a brazillian wouldn't have any experience with beaches or crime...

>Alice Springs
>here
Ahahahaha
you poor cunt

Occasionally, hundreds of thousands of bats will decide to inhabit residential areas.

abc.net.au/news/2017-12-08/charters-towers-bats-concern-residents/9239638

There really is. Half of cremorne housing are brazilians and there are loads of them on north and eastern beaches and wynyard because of the consulate.

What's wrong with Newcastle? I used to live nearby and it is probably the only area in NSW with a functioning public transport system.

nsw cunts fuck off

>get on the bus
>mentally ill people start talking to me

Problem number 1.

Only part of Australia I might go to is Tasmania. Anywhere else looks like hell on earth

Why not go to New Zealand instead? It's like the good version of Australia

You talk about jellyfish, but this fucker here will enter your piss hole and then, only surgery to take it out

Sorry we're such a right wing shithole. Blame the immigrants and old people.

Was referring to shipping some clueless cunt off to Alice Springs.

Every night thousands of them come out from caves alongside the river cutting through my town. They're so fucking loud when they crash into a tree overhead and start autistically screeching.
They eat spiders, though. Fuck spiders.

At least you can reliably catch a bus or train. Where I am living now is only an hour or two away from Sydney and there is legit only four trains a day heading north.

>but this fucker here will enter your piss hole

Fucking hell

And if you didn't find it bad enough, there's this one, that will literally rip off your balls and devour them.

Just how big is your cock hole for that thing to swim up it? Do Brazilians do some sort of goatse style urethra stretching?
Anyway, I though that was shown to be just an urban legend.

a better view

That's an old rumor mate, no one believes that anymore.

karapaia.com/archives/52136737.html
Fish are gross.

It's a very small fish. Here is it's mouth

i believe

Cunt, there isn't, thousands at best, even Xi Jinping ain't sending millions of his people here. Stop exaggerating goon.

>Toowoomba
Wasn't that the rapey rapey town?

>This huehue posting myths like this is everyone's first day on 4chins

it's fine

do you blame him? his people unironically practice witchcraft.

Don't the Spanish eat those things?
Seafood is gross.

Why would you even care about it?

chop chop chop

...

Because I love Australian white male.

australian shells are valuable, collect them in your pockets or keep them against your skin they have to remain warm

Also, if you're trying to sneak contraban through customs, stuff them inside a boogeyboard and say you're here for a surf tour. They'll give you a "that's tops, mate" and let you on your way, every time.

EVERYTHING KILLS YOU XDDDDD

Is Perth the best city in the world? Or just the best city in Australia?

abc.net.au/news/2017-08-16/melbourne-named-worlds-most-liveable-city-for-seventh-year/8812196

its insanely generic and doesnt even have miningbux anymore

Where are you going? Just b urself (seriously) people are generally pretty chill and you'll be pretty exotic, people will want to know you if you're somewhat handsome/interesting.

Yes, Perth is the best city, please go and live there, you will NOT regret it.

You better run
You better take cover

>Tasmania
If you like "the hills have eyes" IRL then go right ahead

>is perth the best city in Australia?
Its not even the best city in Perth, cos its shit

I only with he was lying.

*wish

They eat all fresh. They'll swim up asses, nostrils, etc.

Dead guy being devoured youtube.com/watch?v=pH1dVaRAtY4

not being funny, but if you are not as black as an aboriginal man, for the love of god PUT ON SUNSCREEN. Nothing you have experienced will have you prepared for the Australian sun radiation. If you do not wear sunscreen, literally 20 minutes in the sun could put you out of commission for 10 days. Longer periods and I don't even want to imagine the fucking damage. I'm not exaggerating at all, it's not a meme like the Australian animals, the Australian sun is utterly fucking insane.

Yeah this, the hole in the ozone layer aint no joke

I walked around in full sun all day in Egypt with a tank top on and i was fine

Here in Aus, last weekend i went for a 45 minute walk on an overcast day and got pretty badly burned.

If you get a job here and they aren't paying you minimum wage (~$20/hr for casual, check the info on the govt. site for the job you get) then get some proof and report them.

Every fucking immigrant/working holiday dickhead comes here and works for $11/hr in some dodgy mainland Chinese owned restaurant/cafe/whatever (or one of the Indian syndicate 7/11s), has a shit time because they can't afford anything and then fucks off back home without ever getting paid what they should have.

What I really want to see is a Kangaroo riding an Australian. Why hasn't anyone made any Kangaroo bestiality.

Perth is pretty nice, or it looks nice anyways
They have the best public transport and theres nothing to do which is perfect for me

>want to study aboard
>be retard at math
>be poor
>but hey user you can check out our scholarships!
>loads of conditions and shit for 25% discount
>require 2 years of working experience
I guess I will give up

the west have become a cheap prostitute,baa i dont care anymore

the average temperature in brazil is like 30ยบ

Nice fibbonacci

We all adapted and became superhuman BLACK bulls now, only soft cunts and old br*Tish whitoids that retire here die from sun overload.

no wh*Tes allowed.

Nice lisp

there's like 20k in sydney at most

I know it sounds like I'm exaggerating but I'm really not. It's not about the temperature, it's about how much radiation from the sun the skin gets. Australia is like the Chernobyl ground zero of UV radiation.

don't come to queensland