/brit/

welfare office in da mornin n shiet edition

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penis

not a fan of yanks

poo nigger

fan of:
new zealanders
the french
canadians from british columbia and alberta, as well as newfies
the welsh
not a fan of:
the rest

Post movie characters which closest match your dress sense

>muh ancestors

anglo franco creole sinic indian west african sicillian irish celtic culture is the best

why's that mate?

any lustomic man in

Ah yes
/brit/ a general of Philosophy

Why does the google doodle make some german painter look like a spic?

welcome to SANDCASTLES

you wake up in a forest.
to the north is a clearing
to the south is a desert
to the east is a mountain
to the west is an ocean
where do you want to go?

north
south
east
west

>organise date with big tits girl two weeks ago (hate organising so far ahead but earliest she could do)
>don't message her after organising
>message her the day before
>she made other plans because she 'thought I wasn't interested'

Ah yes, females, the masters of communication

I know you, I walked with you in once upon a dream...

I died

you may ask yourself

>dont message her for two weeks

thats only you desu

Anyone who unironically watches any ITV program deserves to be euthanised
Yay or Nay?

>organise

there is a z. cant deal with that word spelled wrong so many times. had to move on

Where's his neanderthal brow and beard? They said he was dark skinned, but mediterraneans are dark skinned, why are news sites calling him black African? Makes no sense.

objective ranking

in terms of news programming;
bbc > sky > itv > c5 > c4
in terms of entertainment programming;
c4 > bbc2 > bbc1 > itv > c5

girls with big milkers want you to put in stupid amounts of effort

foy

>sandcastles
>make a sandcastle
>win
pretty straight

Oh no this person I haven't even met isn't messaging me every day, help I'm wilting

18 obese stupid ugly no mates virgin
is there hope?

Think I'm gonna go turn on lord of the rings and fall asleep on the couch, lads

Spooky scary skeletons
Send shivers down your spine
Shrieking skulls will shock your soul
Seal your doom tonight
Spooky scary skeletons
Speak with such a screech
You'll shake and shudder in surprise
When you hear these zombies shriek
We're so sorry skeletons
You're so misunderstood
You only want to socialize
But I don't think we should
Cause spooky scary skeletons
Shout startling shrilly screams
They'll sneak from their sarcophagus
And just won't leave you be
Spirits supernatural
Are shy whats all the fuss
But bags of bones seem so unsafe
It's semi-serious!
Spooky scary skeletons
Are silly all the same
They'll smile and scrabble slowly by
And drive you so insane
Sticks and stones will break your bones
They seldom let you snooze
Spooky scary skeletons
Will wake you with a boo!

nah probably not mate
was that the answer you wanted?

yes you little youngling.

youll be fine probabl

no

And you may find yourself
Living in a shotgun shack
And you may find yourself
In another part of the world
And you may find yourself
Behind the wheel of a large automobile
And you may find yourself in a beautiful house
With a beautiful wife
And you may ask yourself, well
How did I get here?

...

>18
literally start going to the gym tomorrow and stop eating fish and chips all the time
you'll be fine

>stop eating fish and chips
hahahahahahahaha oh my sweet summer yank

Work on the first two, third will be helped by losing weight, rest are a mystery.

screaming

wish I was 18 again, I'd have an excuse for being reckless and idiotic

probably not, but if you just remember nothing really matters you'll be fine

Despite the blatant leftist propaganda in the Been and Channel 4, at least they make generally high quality blatant leftist propaganda.

I'm a bit embarrassed to admit it but for some reason New Zealand tends to get under my skin
sheeploving runts

sub rogue ilvl900 lf friendly guild

Have there been any pornstars from 2000 year? It's been 2 months. I'm sure there's plenty of whores who were born in those months

British empiricism or German idealism?

Learning about war surgery lads
youtube.com/watch?v=0Yf5frBI4lg

I miss 90s/early 2000s television. Funny and modern without all the fucking bullshit.

I WANT TO GO BACK

>It's been 2 months

>leftist
FOY

literally my lunch the other day (fish and chips)

Yank McDonaldism

...

those all dressed lad?

*screeching at yank post*

What do you call the big chips (in the British sense of the word)? Still fries? What about ones cooked in the oven? Oven fries?

Is it weird that i would rather wank than fuck a girl?

Wanking

>your choice of partner
>no pressure to come early or late, you can come precisely when you mean to
>literally just lie back and move your hand
>clean-up is quick and easy

Sex

>have to actually go out and find someone, usually a washed up drunk whore or a psycho gf, can't change once you've started the sex
>constantly wondering if you're satisfying her, whether you're taking too long, whether you're going to stay erect
>have to move your entire body, gets tiring and boring very quickly
>clean-up involves washing your disgusting smelly dick off, and possibly being accused of rape in a few months

>fuck a girl and actually release oxytocin and hormones that make you feel good with a partner
>wank and feel like the empty shell of a man that has to put in the effort to clean up

wanking is like eating a sandwich for dinner

those are steak fries

yes. sex with your gf is fucking amazing desu

found myself pulling a horrified expression in response to seeing this image

steak fries are wider and flatter than the traditional british chip
pic related

I had sex with my gf. It was boring.

yeh
you mean like these?

America needs to be stopped

Me towering above the other /brit/posters

Had a dream that I had an Australian best friend who was better than me at everything and I was jealous and he cuckolded me.

Also had a dream that a Jobcentre guy was in my backgarden.

>can't change once you've started the sex
uhhh just dump them lad

>traditional british chip

there's no set size you numpty

a chip is literally a chunk of potato that's been fried

they use lobster milk

wrong
i know more than you
i am the chip expert

I heard a rumour that In-n-Out milkshakes had horse semen in them
Not quite sure if this is factual or not

Yankoids

still remember when British family friends stayed with my family and they asked for vinegar to have with their fish and chips
bizarre

REALLY honestly quite jealous of yank fast food
there are a few good leaf chains (harvey's, a&w) but nothing will compare to the sheer variety of yankistani fast food
they've truly mastered the art of culinary excess

Tucking into some crableg flavoured oreos

you have a gf

then again, im about to propose to mine

Yeah I should have said she is now my ex.

If I was Prime Minister I would literally outlaw any yank food entering the country and any yank food chain.
Don't care if the PM didn't have that power, I'd do it.
#imissfattyarbuckles
#bringbackwimpy

st-hubert does some of the best restaurant chicken I've had

going to sleep now

alright lads just woke up

fan of:
french fries
pizza
lasagna
wine
beer
bourbon

Unironically have 1p in the bank.

Jobcentre at 2. Normally I wake up at one and get the bus but looks like I'm either waking up at 11 and fucking walking or asking mummy ARRGHUUUGHHH

you are a fat cunt

st. hubert is quebecKKK only but swiss chalet is pretty well the same thing but for the rest of the country

trading bitcoins for warm turds

bit rude but not untrue

yeah swiss chalet is classic

>Rebecca Volpetti
>Valentina Nappi
>Rocco
why are italians so kino at porn

>Fatty Arbuckle's
Holy shit, now that's a name I've not heard in a long time.

Black or white bitcoins?

long-standing history of sexual openness

Ancient gimmick

>kino
>porn

yolo

No it's not

youtube.com/watch?v=R5YbfEkuyNY&t=172s

love this desu

My first job was dishwashing at a swiss chalet and I'll never eat there ever again

willy bum poo

turno is the most intelligent world leader currently in power, second only to PERHAPS macron
prove me wrong

>I do this for my culture