What went so fucking wrong?

What went so fucking wrong?

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>cable

Nothing

it's the biggest trainwreck since Jamie Kennedy's New Year's special. And TV needs hilarious failures to laugh at.
Every decade needs a few spectacular flops. Life would be a lot less fun without Opening Al Copone's Vaults, Cop Rock, and Viva Laughlin in it.

I was expecting a swimming pool with plexi glass down the middle and a well trained shark.

I was expecting two separate pools side by side with a separating barrier to make sure the shark doesn't jump over, and a well trained shark.

instead we got pure kino

>guy gets in a tank with a shark
>shark eats him
Who could've seen this coming

I was expecting they would time a great white swimming that distance and then see how Phelps compared, but no, they just made up an arbitrary number for the shark at the end and made it close, when real great whites can much faster than Phelps ever could

>mfw Michael Phelps has entered midlife crisis.

look the guy has to pay for his fucking marijuana addiction somehow

sharks die in captivity quick.

>well trained shark
I don't think it possible to train a shark

You can't be addicted to marijuana user

This kind of reminds when they tried to make a documentary about Mermaids and everyone bitched because Discovery was acting like they were real.

youtube.com/watch?v=SMwT2N55raA

By that logic you also cant be addicted to buying tacky shit for no reason, buts thats clearly fucking wrong because I HAVE 13K IN CREDIT CARD DEBT AND THEYRE GOING TO TAKE MY CAR AWAY!!!!!

>implying

I knew people in school whose entire lives revolved around marijuana use. You could literally tell in an instant whether they had any or not because they were never happy if they didn't have any.

Beyond that, there were plenty of kids who stole in order to buy it. If you have to resort to stealing to pay for something you're addicted, period.

I knew people who thought it was real

Shitty CG and all

What was even the fucking point?

i mean... what the literal fuck

dumbest shit ever

Sailfish can swim at 109.19 km/h (67.85 mph).

I remember watching a dragon documentry when I was 7 and then packing a temper tantrum when the teacher didnt believe that they existed at the same time as the dinosaurs.

>Shark Week used to be solely about shark documentaries
>Now it's full of gimmicks and MTV style editing.

Did anyone watch this?

Shark week sucks cock now

>Discovery still making fake programs clustered with garbage-tier CGI for Shark Week despite the huge backlash to that Mermaids documentary from the other year
Are they just retarded or something? It's like they're trying to drive viewers away.

youtube.com/watch?v=HP-6wG_wZ8A

This was still kind of lame but still a million times better.

Im just waiting for documentary to go full blow "THIS SUNDAY!!!!!" and start showing nitro circus and shit.

dont larp faggot, and don't say your not

That's not nearly as bad as people believe the mermaid mockumentary footage is real when they are full grown

You act as if they' give a shit about science anymore.

>Hi welcom to Mythbusters, im Adam Savage and today we are going to be triple backflipping a mobility scooter, stay tuned.

you cant train a shark you morons

>wtf do you need a car for when you obviously spend your days on amazon/ebay?
>inb4 job, why haven't you made a career out of buying/selling tacky shit yet?

this might be a chance to turn your life around, good luck bud and i love you

Yes you can, I'm living proof

Is that a nipple in those few frames?

>actually time a Great White swimming that distance out in the ocean somewhere
>Have Phelps swim that distance and time it
>compare those times
>no CG, no fake time for the shark

There, fixed your fucking program

yes you can, I'm living proof.

They're all about getting more viewers. Dumb teenagers and low IQ adults will watchfor the stupid cgi and phelps gimmicks, and there are more of them than you.

oh hey sherk fuck off

You're a trained great white shark?

>throw meat in other end
>shark goes for it
wow that was hard

you want facts go to Wikipedia.
youtu.be/Us52tqtn7TA

u kno it

>I knew people in school whose entire lives revolved around marijuana use.
Man those fucking cliches were the worst. Literally all they talked about to each other for 4 years was weed. Hey bro I tried this edible or Hey bro that strain was wicked. It was fucking depressing listening to them, they could not for the life of them form a conversation that wasn't about dope.

...

>implying the shark would bee-line straight for the b8
It doesn't. Sharks will circle it to investigate before they make a strike.

>dramatic shot of shark jumping out of the water at the finish line

Is that osmosis jones, and I getting a hardon from bacteria?

What is physical and mental addiction for 1$ Alex.

sharks can be trained just like anything else

Yes you can you fucking mongoloid.

throw meat at one end
shark ignores meat
instead jumps out of tank and lands on user
proceeds to eat user
we sharknado now

Have any proof, like ongoing studies, or published papers?

yea

Post links to them please

Do you not understand or consider the fact that high schoolers are boring and yet at the same time dramatic? They don't really have much to talk about, and they don't exactly enjoy themselves while sober (who the fuck does, honestly?) so the few times they smoke together become laughable memories.

I get what you're referring to, people who can't go a conversation about weed, but your judgment sounds flawed because you sound like nothing more than a passerby or somebody who coincidentally caught that particular conversation multiple times

>tfw Sharknado has better CGI than Phelps vs Shark

>Free willy but with great white
>Willy eats poolboy
>Little Billy gets in tank to try and free Willy before the cops arrive
>Willy eats kid

If he actually raced a GW he would be fucked

>phelps record: 6 MPH
>GW speed: 25 MPH

You didn't say please

>Cops shoot shark
>Cops cut shark open
>Cops retrieve corpses
>Detective delivers witty punch-line, slides glasses up
>Wont Get Fooled Again plays

Average GW speed is 40km/h
Phelps is 10km/h.
He's utterly and truly fucked.

Honestly, given how much CGI has improved, this show could actually make a pretty decent reboot. It would also probably do well, as "VS" shit has been pretty popular lately.

I personally knew people who literally talked about it daily and it was pretty much the only thing that defined their personality and their lifestyle.

also, if you can't enjoy yourself while sober, you should probably just end your life because you will never be a well adjusted or normal human being. You shouldn't be relying on drugs to get you through life, that's what addiction is.

What the fuck is wrong with people? Like all those faggots that thought it was really cushing in r1.

cops shoot shark
shark happens to be black
niggers riot in the ocean
swarm of sharks eat niggers

>CSI: Criminal Shark Investigators

Well now I know why people are bitching

Dont try to justify your shitty addiction by assuming nobody enjoys themselves sober

>if you can't enjoy yourself while sober, you should probably just end your life because you will never be a well adjusted or normal human being. You shouldn't be relying on drugs to get you through life, that's what addiction is.
Life isn't black and white user. People like you that can identify the problem and it's "fixes" are simply close-minded. Consider yourself fortunate you've never reached bottom

Fucking retard.

>tracks shark swimming for a few seconds
>uses phone calculator to figure how fast it can swim
>put middle aged swimmer in water
>see if he can swim faster
>he can't
MICHAEL PHELPS VS SHARK

Cable tv is dead.

People can hit rock bottom without turning to drugs like a bitch you weak willed faggot

If you're going to resort to drugs to fill the shitty empty hole in your life at least be fucking hardcore and do meth and cocaine and shit.

Don't be a faggot pussy and smoke weed, shit is garbage and the people who use it are extremely annoying.

dont worry sam worthington will save discovery with that unabomber movie

Unless he rad a running start

Yeah, and I never claimed otherwise but addiction is a sickness, and sickness can be cured.
>hurr kys
Isn't a solution or productive.

>well adjusted or normal human being
Where do you think you are?

but he almost beat the shark

*Shoots shark after foot chase through an allyway*
>I guess he didnt get the shark-casm
*Puts on sunglasses*
*OUT HERE IN THE STREETS!!!!*

It can be cured with suicide.

>If you're going to resort to drugs to fill the shitty empty hole in your life at least be fucking hardcore and do meth and cocaine and shit.
This is a great example of something someone close-minded would say. Your first go to thought was "hurr shitty empty hole in your life", when that's not always the case.

HURR DURR US 4CHANNERS AMIRITE GUISE

Not everyone on Sup Forums is a 400 pound spaghetti autists with more mental disorders than fingers. Not even close to everyone is that on here, there's a lot more 'normies' here than you'd think.

Why are you even arguing, you're obviously stupid.

>THE NAME'S DETECTIVE DON CARCHARO YOU DICKBAGS, AND YOU'RE UNDER ARREST! THE JUDGE IS GONNA THROW THE BAIT AT YOU FOR SMUGGLING IN ILLEGAL SEA LIONS ACROSS THE PACIFIC!
Man this show is really fucked up.

If you have no empty hole in your life why do it?
It makes you an obnoxious faggot and also makes you smell like fucking shit.

Do you honestly want my reasons why user? I'll happily post it but if you're just gonna tl;dr it i won't bother

t. brainlet

>Get him in the tank
*stares at camera and winks*

>that episode the tiger shark was accused of murdering his wife
>his wife was a porpoise
>interracial agenda pushing in this day and age
Animal rights were a mistake.

>who enjoys themselves sober
Potcuck with a fucking fried retard brain
Sad!

Keep telling yourself that, creep

emotional addiction is just as real as physical addiction user.

You know what they say, tiger sharks will eat out anything.

...

>Great white police chief has to train outta control rookie blue shark
Youre alright kid.

Calm down kid. No one is denying there are normalfags here but Sup Forums has alwats been a hive off pedos, autists and other rejects. Youll always be a tourist.

This post is seriously fucking embarassing

Get new friends. Your lame "situation" is obviously your own and one you stay in willingly you fucking loserfag
Go set a goal.

That might have been true before the fappening but not anymore

Meant for
I

>people actually believed Discovery Channel would have Phelps race a live Great White
>Said people are now upset because they realized just how stupid they actually were for believing it in the first place

But they made that lady in the tight sports clothes race a car once.