A comicbook writer of your choice is placed in this scenario. How do they handle it?

A comicbook writer of your choice is placed in this scenario. How do they handle it?

...

>Super Paper Mario.jpg

Those spikes look pretty dull

>Jeph Loeb
I'd probably spend the majority of the comic reflecting on how I got to this point, the various emotional turmoils that have led me to this point, and achieve some sort of character development that would allow me to either reach the cake or decide that the cake isn't worth it, snapping me back to the present. I'd bite into the cake or get a piece of the cake, respectively, only to realize that the cake is stale.

I pick Hickman.

Not sure how it ends but it'll be 40 issues leading to a huge let down.

I didn't make this.

Ennis gets together a band of lads, and through a series of crazy adventures that brings them closer than anything else could, they overcome the obstacle, probably through some heroic self sacrifice that turns out to be unnecessary but hurts so good. The cake is taken to a local pub and they all have a laugh about it. In the end everyone learns about adventure, friendship, comradery, mental retardation and a little something about the human condition.

looks about right

>Gwendolyn Willow Wilson
You can solve everything with embiggenment.

>Moore

I rape way to the cake, then rape the cake.

Slott takes a giant shit on the floor calls it The Superior Cake and then eats it without his hands.

I put Scott Snyder in that scenario, he comes up with a ridiculous and autistic way to do it that is really just a mediocre ripoff of a story Grant Morrison wrote a decade ago and then he fucks up the ending, dying in the spikes. And nothing of value was lost.

Now draw this, asshole...

Bendis
>"You" are a black cakesexual
>The cake is a strong and independent cake that can fly
>The cake flies towards "You"
>"You" and the cake quip about white males and then make out
Everyone puts up with it because Sarah Pichelli can DRAW man

...

I tried.

...

What is this trying to say?

Looks like Patrick Rothfuss to me.
Except with less utter retardation and lack of how humans function on a basic level.

Tom Siddell
Gunnerkrigg Court

...

>not pictured: several panels of needlessly shocking imagery

I have read GKC I just don't get what that comic is tryi... I just figured it out.

He's probably right.

Well, what is it?

forgive me

>Zur-en-arrh

fucking saved.

Who's the writer?

It took 1000 pages for him to even get that far mocking the slow pace of the comic. It'll probably take him a good 3000 to get through those spikes.

Todd McFarlane tries going through the spikes but gets mangled to death and the spikes rape the cake to death, Todd comes back as Cakespike Spawn and the action figures all break.

Every day we stray further from God's light.

>Alan Moore

Uses his magical beard to reach for the cake. Loses a few strands to the spikes, but nothing of value was lost. They contained his old DC scripts to the stuff he's disowned now.

It's not a writer, just my fetish.

Tom Scioli, so fairly close to how Morrison does it but in a slightly different flavor of insane

Not sure how he gets all the way through but rightnow in the storyline he, the spikes and the cake's lives are ruined forever and nothing will ever be the same.
Im kinda getting ahead of the Dresden Files comics here.

...

...

Not a writer, but 10/10 reply.

Manara has written a lot of his own books.

Frank Miller pretends to be self inserted by Batman and pretends to be Batman and bleeds horribly and die

...

To a diabetic, this is horrifying.

...

I love this so much it's almost disgusting. Perfect.

...

Adventures of bald cuckboy

Which writer is this?

I tried

>claremont

Sorry, can't post that on a Christian board

1 year on paint

>no dobson version

i genuinely disappointed in you Sup Forums

hahahahahahaha

Dan Slott crawls through the space between the spikes known as the Plot Hole.

Should be "But I'm an alcoholic writer"

Otherwise, top notch

Cuck Palahniuk finds some way to turn the spikes into a confusing but harmless metaphor.

Literal perfection

I like it.


You sure you didn't mean Ennis?

flawless

rad

10/10

Underrated post!

Wait this is a bit confusing. So he dies in the way but is then alive and well at the other side because he's ignoring his own continuity? If so that's genius.

Continuity? Yes of course!
Marvel's editors take care of that :^)
that'sthejoke.gif, user

>Alcoholic comic artist
Fix'd

Isn't that supposed to be Stephen King, though?

Yeah but after a certain point he had his mary sues become comic artists instead of writers, like he was worried we were starting to catch on and this fixed it.

...

...

Any 90s comic writer

The longer we go without bringing him up the better off everyone is. Way to go fucko

needs more dead cats

underrated post

Oh I wasn't aware

Stephen King's garbage was insulting to me when I was 13 so I barely read any of his stuff.

He'd just start calling the cake sexist and the spikes abelist.

Nah. He'd inflate himself and pop on the spikes.

bump

Kazerad dashes like a mad dog towards the spike hole, but his speed decreases asymptotically as he approaches the event horizon of the spike-lined passage.
Then he spews a bunch of bullshit about how he's working really hard on getting closer to the cake, but it's just empty words; you figured that out after the third time he postponed getting closer to the cake with meaningless and time-consuming side projects. He's lost interest in getting closer to the cake and he's just fucking with you now.
Also he tries to sell you some cake.
If you bought some you never get it.