Why the fuck is a wizard riding a broom?

Why the fuck is a wizard riding a broom?

That's a witch thing.

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Equality.

There's literally no reason why they shouldn't be able to put a permanent spell on themselves that would make them be able to fly naturally. Fuck this hack writing

Dull things in the dullest franchise

because hes a fag

Literally just wingardium leviosa yourself lmao

They literally do do that. Only higher-level wizards can do it though because it takes stamina and concentration, like that mind-reading thing. They show it as early as movie 5, but it's not really expanded on until book 7.

That only lets you levitate. You can't move without propulsion; it's like being stuck in outer space.

Voldemort and Snape can do this in the books, in the movie everyone can fly on their own.

Why do they use wands? That's a fairy godmother thing. Wizards should use staves, if anything.

Why don't they just use flying cars

>LITERALLY the most powerful and forbidden spell is just a shitty version of a handgun
really makes you ponder

>what are death eaters and aurors

>That only lets you levitate. You can't move without propulsion; it's like being stuck in outer space.
Then add infinite ascendio after it.

I thought that was kind of weird in the movie. It seems to be pretty easy to do if every single Death Eater is doing it, why does anyone else use brooms? Personally, I think they did it because the movies are clearly set in modern-day England, where people had digital cameras, then camera flip-phones, then smartphones....if wizards were flying around brooms there would be mountains of footage. But a vague cloud in the sky? Could be anything.

It's not the most powerful spell, it's just the most evil spell that kills people. In the fight between Dumbledore and Voldemort they were conjuring swords and fire out of thin air.

>infinite ascendio
I'm not familiar with latin or harry potter lore, but that sounds like you'd just keep rising forever. Hope you brought a space suit.

How come muggles didn't see the giant ass green skull in the sky?

what you makes you think you can't ascend in the horizontal direction?

Why don't the Weasleys use "repairo" on their clothes? Why don't they use alchemy to make money? Why don't they conjure up a better house?

Wizards/witches should have zero (0) problems but for some reason they have nothing but problems.

...

Do wizards not have testicles? Why are they fine with putting literally all of their weight onto their nutsacks while flying?

>ascend horizontally
That's not what ascend means
Conjured items only last for a little while. Now your second question, "why don't they just cast a new spell every few days?", it's because these stories were never meant to have good worldbuilding. It's set in a country where your job options are:

>cop
>teacher
>merchant
>terrorist

Did the Dark Mark ever get cast in Muggle areas? The only time I can think of was in the 6th movie where there's a dark grey cloud shaped like a skull. I'm sure people noticed, but we see weird clouds all the time and nobody thinks "oh, it must be magic".

that's still worse than a granade

why didnt harry just use a spell to improve his eyesight?

>not making potions out of baby blood
they are not even trying

Because the bitch that wrote that shit is a hack

>most powerful spell
>not Imperio
step up

No it isn't. A small marble statue can shield someone from the killing curse. Pull the pin on a grenade, then hide behind a small marble statue inches away. See how that goes for you.

>>
>what you makes you think you can't ascend in the horizontal direction

Jaden stop

The word "ascend" for one thing, fuckhead

>not bombarda maxima

Fucking bazooka inside a stick

>He was on the sixth stair when there was a loud, wailing, klaxon-like sound and the steps melted together to make a long, smooth stone slide like a helter-skelter. There was a brief moment when Ron tried to keep running, arms working madly like windmills, then he toppled over backwards and shot down the newly created slide, coming to rest on his back at Harry's feet.
'Er - I don't think we're allowed in the girls' dormitories,' said Harry, pulling Ron to his feet and trying not to laugh.
Two fourth-year girls came zooming gleefully down the stone slide.
'Oooh, who tried to get upstairs?' they giggled happily, leaping to their feet and ogling Harry and Ron.
'Me,' said Ron, who was still rather dishevelled. 'I didn't realise that would happen. It's not fair!' he added to Harry, as the girls headed off for the portrait hole, still giggling madly. 'Hermione's allowed in our dormitory, how come we're not allowed -?'
'Well, it's an old-fashioned rule,' said Hermione, who had just slid neatly on to a rug in front of them and was now getting to her feet, 'but it says in Hogwarts: A History, that the founders thought boys were less trustworthy than girls.
I love blatant sexism in my childrens books

it's just an evil instagib spell, against a crowd you'd have to use something AOE like

>'but it says in Hogwarts: A History, that the founders thought boys were less trustworthy than girls.

Objectively, teenage girls sneaking into the boys' room is less dangerous than the other way around. Hermione, being like 11 or 12 or whatever, was probably too young to realize that it was meant to be about preventing rape/molestation.

Where do their balls go when riding a broom?

This

Is that what they used in that old .gif where Russian soldiers or whatever blows up a bus by smacking it's window with a stick?

How come Harry didn't get expelled for casting Lumos under his bed outside of Hogwarts at the beginning of Prisoner of Azkaban?

Forgot this one existed. Expulso looks and sounds cooler though. That cafe scene in HP&TDH Part I was GOAT.

because rowling is a hack

Why didn't he just use a flashlight lmao

Because Rowling desperately tried to breathe some originality into one of the dullest franchises in the history of movie franchises. Seriously each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the series’ only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert.

Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody, just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.

>a-at least the books were good though
"No!"
The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."

I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.

Is this baitkino?

Now that you mention it, why did no one have a gun during the last battle to defend hogwarts. Neville could have held that bridge down with a browning MG no problem. Is this why the wizards hide from humans? Our weapons are still better than literal magic

>calling something written by HAROLD FUCKING BLOOM bait
this board is beyond salvation

Rated

why didn't the death eaters just create a nuclear bomb and dropped it on hogwarts?

why didnt hermione use the time machine to fuk with voldemort instead of being a useless bitch

>why didn't the guy who's obsessed with magic and the founders just bomb the place they built and just happens to be one of the oldest and most magical places in Britain and possibly the world?
Gee, I wonder

Hermione rule34 when?

it didnt seem like they cared about it that much. by the end of the battle a lot of the buildings were completely demolished

With all the mind and body control curses, love potions, and memory charms and stuff you have to imagine that there's probably a lot of rape in the wizard world.

Shit happens in a battle and the place was still standing even if it was partially fucked

If he didn't care about it there would've been no reason to want to work there or to take items of the Hogwarts founders as horcruxes

There literally hasn't been a single unmolested boy at Hogwarts since Dumbly D began his reign of terror

The wizards could annihilate humans in an actual war. Good luck fighting an enemy that can teleport and mind control your leaders. They're hidden from one another for their own good.

Pretty sure Rowling herself said that wizards would get annihilated if the rest of humanity ever found out about them and wanted them gone

In the books, only Voldemort could fly, and only once in the final book (death eaters ambush Harry as the Order is moving him in a broom convoy, and Voldy himself shows up just free-flying). It was just there to highlight his power level in a surprise spook seen, though, it was never expanded upon or even mentioned again, I think.
The movies' flying-smoke-trailing-heads death eaters were pretty neat visually but kinda broken OP, not that you can really suspend disbelief too far in HP to begin with.

>ascend horizontally

>good wizards turn into white smoke
>bad wizards turn into black smoke


The books are for children, but the movies are for retarded children who were held back.

Rowling doesn't understand her own universe then. Apparate+Imperio alone is an instant win for wizards, along with the ability to hide in plain sight even from other wizards (like that house in the 5th movie that's right between two other houses but nobody sees it).

Why don't people stop acting like Voldermort didn't love Hogwarts? It was only 75-80% of the people who inhabited it that he hated.

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Humans have split the atom.
We have weapons that can be fired from hundreds of miles away.

We could literally nuke hogwarts.

humans cannot even fucking locate Hogwarts you fucking idiot.

:3

Yes they can.
Just put a radio tracker on a kid wizard, then paint the location from 10 miles away with a targeting laser and bombard it with air-fuel missiles.

The wizards in HP don't even know how a fucking rubber duck works.
The idea of radio waves must make their heads spin.

Go read Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality.

It explains just how stupid wizards in HP are.

>>Just put a radio tracker on a kid wizard,

It's time to stop posting.

>514▶
>Why do they use wands? That's a fairy god
once your based enough you don't even really need a wand.

Pretty sure no electronics works inside Hogwarts.
The fact that they managed to keep themselves hidden for so long should tell you how good they will be at stealth war.

>Go read Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality.
Absolutely not.

why didnt they just use guns?

>scan the area around hogwarts
>notice big gap in the data
>airstrike mysterious failure zone
>no more wizards

I never read the originals, but HPMoR is one of the most entertaining books I've read.

It's awesome being a pleb.

>Go read Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality.

You're a terrible human being and your followers are all aging creepy perverts, Yudkowsky.

Congratulations, retard, you've just bombed a British military base

Why didn't Harry just use the Accio spell to make the Horcruxs come to him?

If the British military has literal anti-electronics magic then they can get fucked too.

>I don't know how tracking or triangulation works

Unless Hogwart's cloaking field extends dozens of miles out in every direction, they don't NEED the exact location. They just need to know where the field begins. Then you bombard the area with FAEs.

If you need to be precise, you sent a chemical rocket with a tracker to the last known location of the wizard kid's tracker, fire it into the field, and wait until it exits at the other side.

Also, Radios work in Hogwarts, so radio waves can and do penetrate their cloak.

To be fair as I understand it women and men are wizards, men are warlocks and women are witches, and warlocks and witches mean the same thing.

Cause enchanted muggle items are forbidden. Ron's dad was just a massive muggleboo.

it was a gay imagery thing. you wouldnt understand

>Yudkowsky
I had to look that up to even know that person was the author.

what kind of subhuman can't separate the artist from the art?

I bet you hate Polanski's films for reasons unrelated to the films themselves, you troglodyte.

>Why don't they use alchemy to make money?
Serial numbers pertaining to specific goblin craftsmen. Also possibly one of the few things you can't magic, like food.

How do you read a book and not know who the author was?

Cause 1, you need to be able to clearly picture the object in your mind, and 2, you can just put a counter spell on it.

>The wizards in HP don't even know how a fucking rubber duck works.
The muggle-wizard idea has always wierded me out.
Like how can the wizards be so confounded by muggles when so god damn many of the wizards are from muggle families?

Actually, the books take place in the mid 90s. The films don't really translate well in that regard.

He couldn't even do that with a sword he was looking at.

>listening to the Stephen Fry audiobooks in bed at night because it's relaxing and makes me sleep
>whenever someone teleports he yells out CRACK in a really loud and echoy voice echoes
>become startled and awake

God dommit Fry.

If you're strong of mind you don't need any at all. You can use other objects, Mad-Eye moody has some sort of staff.

If they are in a war with muggles they can just use Fidelius charm which makes it literally impossible to find.

>Yudkowsky
that guy is seriously the most pretentious annoying fatso in existence

Dumbedore magics feasts all the time

Nah. He just teleports them/makes them visible. The food is cooked by a team of house elves.
Well technically he does still magic them of course but I meant magic them out of nothing if that wasn't clear.

The Philosophers Stone could magic up gold though.

The feasts were prepared by elves in the kitchens and teleported to the tables.

Last time I checked, MoR was fanfiction.
I don't classify that as a book.

What do you think would happen to a western child that was removed from the west and placed in a Amazonian Jungle tribe as soon as he hit age 10 and spent the rest of his life there?

Same thing.

First time listening to "Wizard People, Dear Reader" was literally the funniest thing i've ever seen, like abs hurting tears flowing.

Killing Mad-Eye Moody off screen really annoyed, he deserved a cooler death.