Remember me? I helped save the entire galaxy thirty years ago...

Remember me? I helped save the entire galaxy thirty years ago. But for some reason instead of living on a fat Republic pension, I'm a fucking smuggler again. Can you believe that? It's not like I ever liked smuggling. I just did it for the money. What the fuck am I doing being a smuggler again?

Sorry new republic isn't some commie nanny state loving empire with government welfare. You want pensions, you save for it.

Chewie walks right past Leia after Han is dead its so fucking sad. Chewie as in Hans maybe closest friend. But she hugs Rey instead... why? she doesnt even know leia! dogshit film

>Republic
>Not communist
Fucking please, theyre space antifa.

People think job pensions are "commie" now..

Theyre corrupt libertarians types who let the trade federation ravage worlds with slight condemnation. There's nothing to suggest the new republic is better since mon mothma is a dumb bitch

I think he was living comfortably but everything fell apart when Kylo Ren went to the dark side. Han and Leia then broke off. He just returned to what he knew most of his life.

So he went from a beloved revolutionary war hero back to being a common criminal?

Republic customs doesn't even try to stop him.

Remember me? I helped save the entire galaxy thirty years ago. I'm heir to the royal family of Alderaan. I'm the twin sister of Luke Skywalker, the last Jedi, and I was said to have his same potential in the Force. But instead of training to become a Jedi myself, in order to become an extremely effective diplomat and leader, someone who could help heal and unite a fractured Galaxy, I just slacked off for 30 years. So here I am, still in the Rebellion, still standing in a glass walled control room. Can you believe that?

Your life was so dense. It had so many things going on.

Do you think her "assistant" tried to take her spice away and Leia sends her away?

I am also now General Leia because Disney dont want my aged appearance to damage their princess brand. Luckily they can just use feminist reason for the change in titles

But Princess is an elected title.

There's no more alderaan also, maybe Leia finally accepted that

What an absolute disaster. Disney put the final nail in the coffin.

Why not make her Queen Organa?
That way, they protect their princess line and can scream "yes, slay queen" whenever she speaks.

Because Rey is the most important person ever and everyone loves her at first sight!!!

It's not though.

Because Disney queens are usually milfs, not aged crack whores

>Sup Forums disagreeing with their RLM overlords
Is the curse broken?

>It's not though.
So, this is the power of Disney's shills...

>how dare you disagree with me, you must be a shill
Are you from Sup Forums?

oh ok, I'm glad we cleared that up shill

>dogshit film
True, and yet a good percentage of Sup Forums thinks TFA was a good film.

I figured Chewie was pissed at Leia for suggesting that Han "bring their son home". Then J.J. doesn't even spin it that way in interviews. I figured Rey was comforting Leia, not the other way around. Chewie probably told her some stuff on the flight there.

RLM liked spodermon diversity cumming and wonderwoman

they're dead to me

>not dropping them several years ago

>Son tries to become Darth Vader
>Break up with your wife over it
>Go back to what you knew best

>It's not like I ever liked smuggling. I just did it for the money.
I'm sure he hated his job that made him a badass cowboy. You probably believed that time he said he didn't care too.

Come one. "The Nerd Crew" is one of the most genius things they ever did.

>Do you think her "assistant" tried to take her spice away and Leia sends her away?
That would actually be an interesting reveal for Episode VIII. Leia's aid has been drugging her this whole time in order to surpress her Force abilities, hence why she never became a Jedi.

Why would her love child with Luke do that? It's like 34 aby, we should accept incest babies.

Is she Leia's daughter in the new canon? Idk why I'm even asking this, fuck Star Wars.

JJ admitted that it was a mistake. Chewbacca was supposed to look after Finn when they arrived but for some reason they "forgot" about it so Chewbacca was just walking alone back to the base. It's just a lame attempt to cover up his mistake because Chewbacca never had a moment with Finn apart when he strangled Finn.

I can't believe that people think that he's a great director.

She should have been

You would think that the guy who plays Chewy and Carrie Fisher (if she wasn't Coked out) would notice this as well

Why is he so fucking stupid? Star Wars fans are the masters of forcing weird but plausible head canon into fixing plot holes and mistakes.
It's almost like everyone involved in the new movies is new to Star Wars.

>Chewbacca was supposed to look after Finn when they arrived
why? wouldnt it make more sense he and leia embrace and miss han? rey should be looking after finn not chewie. the whole film is dogshit

Reminder that Han ultimately failed as a father, husband, general and businessman

g l i b

>destroy empire
>become new government
>call yourself the resistance

BRAVO

What are they resisting? the patriarchy?

I know resistance is almost never used in this context and that it's a fucking stupid name, but the Cambridge dictionary has these definitions:
>to fight against something or someone that is attacking you
>to refuse to accept or be changed by something
Both apply to the Resistance from Star Wars. But if they ask JJ he probably says something like "uhhh... well... you see 'The Rebellion' was taken".

>the guy who wrote Empire Strikes Back actually wrote this shitty screenplay

>You would think that the guy who plays Chewy and Carrie Fisher (if she wasn't Coked out) would notice this as well

Based on interviews with Mark Hammil, the cast was discouraged from presenting their own interpretations of their characters' thoughts, motivations, and back stories.

No wonder it turned out shit

>It's almost like everyone involved in the new movies is new to Star Wars.
B-but JJ is a huge star wars fan. H-he said so.

wasn't he some kind of che guevera?
A normal guy that just wanted to live an adventure and be involved in a rebelion that fought the more powerful empire?

It has an according death, I think (I nver saw any star wars)

It's just damage control really.

>Leia hugs Rey for no reason despite never ever seeing her
>Chewbacca walks past Leia and was supposed to take care of Finn even though he tried to kill Finn before
>C3PO magically gets his gold arm back then it goes back to red in the next scene

All of this was just in one scene. Even Lucas tried everything to make sure every single detail was right, even for people in the background.

And I rode and pumped up lukes cock for 6 hours after the battle of endor in the millennium falcon cockpit.

Is that an Ewok on the right?

I like how they assasinated the character of Luke by making him a little bitch that ran away from his problems because he couldn't deal with them, abandonning all his friends and family in the process, leaving them to deal
with the mess and having both his sister and his best friend dying without seeing him ever again.

Real nice.

"and you see that galaxy far far away, thats where cocainium is located"

i don't remember that part of the movie.
did Lucas remove it in the later versions?

What was the red arm about? Was it a joke or reference to something I seriously don't understand it at all

It's an excuse to make you buy a comic book where it explains it I think. Something about an adventure involving a lot of droids. One of them was a "female" red protocol droid (like 3PO) who dies and 3PO wears her red arm as a sign of respect or something.

It was just an excuse to sell toys.

Commie-3PO

>I like how they assasinated the character of Luke by making him a little bitch that ran away from his problems

They did this to all the original characters
>Han reverted back to a smuggler. See and

>Leia stagnated after Episode VI. See

Despite Luke have the least sceentime, they managed to do the most damage to his character, framing him as a failure and a coward.

All this was done in order to remove the Original Trio from the spotlight and make way for Rey.

>i don't remember that part of the movie. did Lucas remove it in the later versions?

That's a fake image he pillfered from /aco/.
What is real is that slave Leia was sent to Boba Fett's quarters in Jabba's Palace for his "entertainment". Fett refused to touch her but let her spend the night in order to avoid offending Jabba. He gave her a blanket and sat in the corner, silently watching her the whole night. Turns out, Boba Fett is a kissless virgin moralist who respects women.

Lets not forget Rogue One detracting from Luke's success in ANH by building a Death Star that was intentionally made to be destroyed
And the Han Solo movie will likely take away from Han's story by giving him a 'pre-redemption redemption' making his OT arc less significant.
Obi-Wan's movie will probably do something similar

>Imperial engineers and designers were so stupid and unintentionally designed a fatal flaw
Kys

That's a fair point. But I always assumed that he was going to be a badass cowboy one way or another, so he gravitated towards one of the few ways of making a living that would let him be that way. It's not that he liked smuggling, it's that it was the only thing that he was both good at and which suited his nature.

What about the Titanic?

>a kissless virgin moralist who respects women.
Not raping a women means you are a virgin.
Never change Sup Forums

The Resistance is a separate organization operating within Order territory. They just receive the bulk of their funding and materiel from the Republic

>Not raping a women means you are a virgin.
It is straight up stated in the text that Boba Fett had never slept with a woman. It's all there, black and white, clear as crystal.

The elusive omega chad

Why were the republic and the NO even trading if the republic is supporting a terrorist organization in the NO?

what the fuck I love boba fett now!?
Where is this from, though? EU or nu-canon?

Luke has supernatural reflexes, senses, precognition and Obi-Wan speaking to him from the grave. How are the techies going to plan for that?

Boba Fett had a kid in the old EU who he black daddedcanyways

Not on Alderaan.

Watch out for that vicious bounty hunter Boba Fett, Luke. Did I ever tell you I fought his dad? He was hired to assassinate a senator me and your father were guarding. We kept bringing her around open windows and public areas in order to draw the would-be assassin out because we knew he had too much pride to just shoot her from long range. He had used his payment to hire another bounty hunter to kill the senator for him while he sent us on a wild bantha chase. Also the 2nd assassin used her payment to buy a robot to assassinate the senator for her. Did I mention the 2nd assassin was a shapeshifter? She could have been a good friend in disguise and just shot the senator for all we knew! Then the robot used its payment to buy poisonous bugs to release into the senator's room while she slept after lasering a hole through the window. It could have just lasered her too after that because we we weren't watching her at all, but it already bought the bugs. So we sense the hostile life forms (not the robot) in the room and rush in and save the senator in the nick of time! Then I jumped out the window to chase the robot back to its owner! Luckily it didn't have a self-destruct function. Then we found the 2nd assassin and chased her across the planet, and caught her when she tried to kill us instead of shapeshifting and escaping. But to our surprise, Jango Fett was watching the whole thing instead of going to kill the senator while we were away chasing the bugs chasing the robot chasing the shapeshifter. He shot her with a poisonous dart instead of sniper blaster, and only her instead of shooting all of us or blowing all of us with a rocket or something, then he escaped with his tiny jetpack. Luckily for the senator, my good friend Dexterr Jettster owned a 50s dinner on Courscant that had Republic secrets on the menu along with cheeseburgers and malt shakes. We found the assassin and Mace Window killed him later, right in front of Boba. And he was a good friend.

>Where is this from, though? EU or nu-canon?
EU. Tales of the Bounty Hunters.

As always, the fan made stories are the best.
Keep on fighting the good fight.
We shall never surrender.

kek

Of course he is, where do you think you are?

Oh man, non canon, I bet they will make him gay now.
>tfw no asexual character to relate to.

Because he was a smuggler in the first movie and this movie is just a really shitty remake of A New Hope. Now you get to Han Solo as an old faggot. Isn't that cool?

>implying he actually wrote anything
>implying Disney and Abrahms didn't do heavy rewrites and just slapped his name on it to add legitimacy to the product.

>Oh man, non canon, I bet they will make him gay now.

>"The Lead Actor for the Upcoming Boba Fett Standalone Film Has Just Been Cast, and She is Fierce!"
>"Misogynistic Manbabies Are Now Complaining About the Boba Fett Film, Here's Why They're Wrong"

I think he was living comfortably but everything fell apart when Kylo Ren went to the dark side. Han and Leia then broke off.

Han was doing just fine but when he an Leia got divorced, he lost 50% of everything he had and had to pay alimony and child support. Things got so bad that he had to put up the Millennium Falcon as collateral for a loan and ultimately lost the Falcon with the galactic economy went into the shitter when Kylo Ren started mucking with things.

I read the whole thing every time

He was a fucking general. Officers get pensions.

stupid junkie ruined the movie, she looked and sounded 100

kino pasta

>these aliens design

Given how much they were able to ruin Luke's character despite little screen time, I'd hate to see what they have planned since he's featured prominently in TLJ.

>"It's true, all of it. The gas, the Jews. They're real."

I know they had Raimi help them with the script at one point, but jesus.

>Han, Luke, Leia, and Chewie will never ever all be on screen together again in a group hug reunion recreating the joy and togetherness of the OT's finale
>Han and Luke will never meet again
>Chewie and Leia don't even console eachother over Han's death
>Han has never used Chewbacca's bowcaster before
>Leia's force abilities after thirty years are just the ability to sense when someone dies, not using her Force sensitivity in tactical ways as a commander to sens enemy placements and plans and to inspire her troops
>Mark Hamill realized too late he and the other OT members are only being used as a shallow tool to hand over the Star Wars mantle to Disney's endless, corporate cash milking machine and Disney didn't bring them back for a reunion, only to outwardly validate and legitimize their new money making machine then take them all away

Drumpf

ahahaha is arm is gold
why would they even have the fully-gold 3PO on set?

I used to have a really good only semi-headcanon explanation for why the Death Star had such a seemingly glaring design flaw but now that Star Wars is garbage shit transchild shit movies for drooling millennial libtards I no longer care to defend it, enjoy your godawful non-film propaganda pieces.

JarJar Abrams literally wiped out everything achieved by the original trilogy to where it was all pointless.


It's bullshit.

What was your explanation?

Some time in the future they will be on the screen together again Recasted

I will never forgive this.

>Imperial engineers and designers were so stupid they made the design flaw bigger to match the scale of the new death star