/tpg/ - Twin Peaks General

MAIRZY DOATS Edition

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Meanwhile: (Cross-thread)

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fuck you

i love you user. And cute Sheryl is love you too

>Dougie's limo in white
>Mitchum brother's car in black
>This is the last time they spoke as enemies

B R A V O
R
A
V
O

I'm yrev very happy to see you again old friend

OFFSCREEN CRIMES OF DOPPLEGANGER COOPER

>Murdered Major Garland Briggs, beheaded him, raped his body, raped his head and burned his office down
>Raped Audrey Horne while she was in a coma after the bomb at the bank, first with different parts of a dog, secondly with Major Briggs' decapitated head (She had a son, Richard Horne, the guy from the bar who later runs the kid over with his truck)
>While in the hospital pissed on Pete's corpse and shit on the parts of Andrew Packard they could salvage after the bomb blast
>Jaywalking
>Raped and murdered Donna while forcing James to sing "Just You and Me"
>Raped and shaved James
>Raped Harry and then shoved 90 pounds of RICE up his ass along with two gallons of BLEACH(that's why Harry is sick and dying)
>Raped Little Nicky
>Raped Dick Tremayne
>Instead of paying his speeding tickets he tracked down and raped the police officers
>Mounted a dogs head on a pole after raping and killing it and chopped off all its legs to use as a crude message delivery system
>Litters constantly
>Yodeled at then tortured, raped, and murdered Annie and then used her head along with Major Briggs' head as bloody sock puppets to reenact the opening scene of the Dark Knight Rises
>Humiliated Diane and then raped, beat and abused her after going to her house shortly after leaving the lodge, forced a dog to rape her as well before dismembering the dog and putting parts of it up her ass and leaving her traumatized
>Never returns his library books
>Coerced poor truckers to read books on Tibet before beheading then raping them
>Executed and raped a FBI agent in Columbia after Albert gave Jeffries the name and then dismembered his body to make into a dancing manikin with dog parts and Major Briggs' head
>Does not pay his taxes

After David Lynch got me hooked on coffee, sealing my teeth's fate as yellow garbage, I decided to try tooth whitening. The pain was and is far worse than anything I'd imagined. Women have compared it to child birth. From the moment the machine really gets going, I experienced random, intense electric shocks in individual teeth. Still am.

The machine seemed to be some kind of Goa'uld torture device, just blue light instead of gold. I survived their test until the third pass, at which point I told the hygienist we had a blue rose situation and I thought I might have left a cherry pie in the oven. Luckily she understood, but advised me not to eat it for 24 hours since it could stain my teeth.

Thanks to Lynch not only am I addicted to caffeine, I'm digging out some oxy left over from my last surgery. Whenever I try looking at the teeth in the mirror, it's like it's not me. I can only check for a second because the shocks completely take over if I keep staring. I haven't slept because the garmonbozia generated by this experience could have me waking up in the lodge.

DROP IT

Wanna see my car?

PUT IT DOUGHHHNNNN

What were the offscreen crimes of Little Nicky?

Was this a penis metaphor?

HELO

FRENDO

Besides Episode 8 the return has not been memorable

They NEED TO STAY IN TWIN PEAKS. THE SHOW IS CALLED TWIN PEAKS.

GET EVERYBODY BACK TO TWIN PEAKS.

nah

hullo

i'm gonna talk about Judy

>how to spot a pleb for dummies

>it's a Tammy has to do an entire interview defending hereself from criticism episode

>vulture.com/2017/07/twin-peaks-chrysta-bell-tammy-preston-interview.html

LEAVE TAMMY ALONE YOU FUCKS

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Only if Janey can come. And Methfu.

HELL GOD BABY DAMN NO

I'm on episode 19 of the original series. Why the fuck did this turn to shit so sharply? It's like a completely different show. Windom Earle is retarded, Josie's story was uninteresting as fuck, I want Ben to die a horrible death and Cooper and Audrey's new love interests have no reason to exist, they're paper thin, walking plot cop-outs. I heard it gets good again in the final three episodes, but so much unfunny and plain bad shit has happened I feel this is already tarnished for me.

juxtaposition, endure on

real jumping Fren wud never swear at other frens >:>

that is vhs jumping man and he was about to create a new thread

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sorry but if you don't think it was all worth it for Dick Tremayne then you shall forever be a pleb

a candy colored clown they call the sandman
tiptoes to my room everynight

pbr

My greatest fear is the thought that Sheryl's love is not enough

Nice filename buddy

heineken ?

HA! GUINNESS user here

Windom is the greatest character that exists outside of Shakespeare.

LOOK AT HIM

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>windome earle is retarded
you already fell for the meme. a true thespian of the arts only can appreciate ex-special agent earle windome.

hello, vhs jumping Fren here. I am very happy for me good fren leyland that he has his own tread. And I would never swear at all my good frens here.

that is dopplefren

ONE

ONE

NINE

where is Dougie's jacket jumping man?

>Found you user

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NOW IT'S GONE
GOOOOOONE
AND I AM
WHO I AM
WHO I WAS
I WILL NEVER BE AGAAAIN
RUNNING OUT OF SAND

A dangerous gunlady appears!

Right here fren! :>

>not realizing that dale would be changed forever from his experiences
>thinking he never comes back

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*blocks your vagina*

is he right?

This is quite easily the most low quality general thread on the board. Congrats you are even worse than /got/. Enjoy the garmonbozia this thread is full of it.

dopple

best waifu ever

gay

How is she so contemplative bros

LYNCHED

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is she is wife?

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Can anyone please explain to me the whole Ghostwood plotline? It was so full of backstabing I couldn't understand shit. The fact that Catherine turned out to be a chink only made it more confusing.

after candie

Best ass in Twin Peaks

Prove me wrong

a jap

I was about to reply to your post but I just realized I can't understand it either. Everything about that was a fucking mess.

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you tried so hard

It was confusing indeed, but Mark Frost's book explained it very well. Unfortunately I can't remember it and I won't bother to read it again, but the answers are there.

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wrong. Candie is fake goddess

>book explained it very well.

no ass
deadass

user? How did you get this picture of me?

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Dougie Jones jacket

You are thinking of Maddy

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I'll admit she has no ass but there's something about her I could never resist.

>she wanted to return but mean Mr Lynch said no

Doguie is doppel of jumper confirmed

Rump

She's got Haley Joel Osment's face.

It's not fair

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Holy shit HAHAHA

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Her and Josie should make a short film.

can i join?

she's gonna be in 12 user

briefly

No.

can i join??

Ireland was a mistake

Why would she appear in 12 though? It's unlikely that Richard will go hide at his aunt's place.

mother

she's gonna save the world user. love her

superior mommy here

show Lee feet