So will the Porgs be the Ewoks of the new Star Wars movies?

So will the Porgs be the Ewoks of the new Star Wars movies?

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Come on Sup Forums. Look at this adorable face and tell him you don't want to buy all his merchandise.

You're all heartless scoundrels.

Unless they manage to take down the knights of ren, kylo, or some random stromtroopers, probably not

The Knights of Ren have been replaced by these four waiters from Red Lobster.

Who the fuck came up with this. It's like aseal/manatee pup combined with a puffin.

these are really painful to look at

are they holding boxcutters???

Are these guys really replacing the knights of ren? That was the only thing from TFA i was looking forward to seeing

Chewie looks pretty happy despite his seeing his decades long friend getting Shish kebab'ed maybe a few days before.

I actually think they're nu-Emperor's guards? They're the same shade of red.

What the hell are those things the 2nd guy is holding? It's like a wrench mixed with a box cutter

more like the minions I'm imagining.

They're "vibro" weapons.

>Are these guys really replacing the knights of ren?
Yes. They're heavily featured in the movie. They're basically the guardians in Snoke's lair.

>Hey Son! I got you that cool new progressive, frumpy Asian female action figure you wanted!

>Gee thank you Zher!

>written by (((Kevin Shinick)))

They're like retarded, plastic space kukris

The guy all the way to the right is using an energy weapon which he uses to fight light sabers. All of their weapons are designed to resist light sabers.

Why not use a lightsaber?

Cause they're not Jedi.

They're the new version of these cool looking guys who just kind of stood around.
They decided to make them loom retarded

literally Power Rangers tier

I suspect that two of them are female. The two with the smaller helmets.

In the behind the scenes video Daisy is sparring with three of them out of costume and one of them is female.

>White supremacist organization has women in top positions
>They're so devoted to this that even their Nazi analogs are diverse

Does it make things worse when I say that all four of the guards are played by white people?

Well, obviously they are, since the FO are clearly Nazis. The only baffling thing is why Finn was part of it. I guess he was basically a slave, but is he the only nonwhite in the whole FO?
Finn should have been the rebel pilot, and Poe should have been the FO guy.

Rey is already too powerful, she will defeat everyone single-handidly

Pretty much.

>This movie might actually be a trainwreck
It'll make a billion no matter what, but I would still die if it is as bad as it sounds.
I pray for the Force Sloth

PORGS!

There's no way that this won't look fucking stupid in the movie.

...

the fuck is up with it's eyes

There is a leaked porg figure with Chewbacca

i.4cdn.org/toy/1501402388786.jpg

Holy shit

*holds up Porg*

Force and billions! Signed, t3h penguin of d00m!!!1

>I like the action figure Uncle user gave me a lot more, genderless guardian.
>Uncle user is in prison for having illegal opinions on Twitter. You should forget about him. ...but this gives me an idea for a cute outfit I can tailor for your brother, Rosa.

minions mixed with angry birds and emotes.

How come only two of them have sun shades?

2 male, 2 female.

this will be on clearance like the UK nigger figures.

only people who make customs will buy them.

Porgs are the new Ewok. Despite that, the Disney fags won't complain about it.

If you hate Porgs but tolerate Ewoks you're a fucking hypocrite, plain and simple.

You're a big guy

what the fuck are those things??

They're the imperial protectors of shipping and receiving

Looks like the sort overdesigned bullshit you see on Deviantart when some guy tries to update a classic design.

is this the new defensive marketing line? does anyone actually like ewoks past babby age?

>encouraging millions of children to type por- into google

The epitome of lameness.

Kek

I'm sure there's some big boxes that Snoke gets in the mail on his Super Ultra Mega Destroyer

There was a few Negroes on Starkiller Base.

I think they're going for human supremacist.

Last time I saw a red helmet like that I was in ER for days. The cream did nothing to ease the pain.

>can't see shit

hoojib>porgs

forgot pic

>This is 100% canon

The only reason why these guys have unique individual weapons is to sell toys, isn't it?

Finn & the PAWG

first order was established by a black woman

ANAKIN SKYWALKER IS THE SLOTH CREATURE

SNOKE HAS MULITPLE BODIES HE'S A FORCE VAMPIRE

REY CAN PHYSICALLY SEE AND MANIPULATE THE FORCE

HER PARENTS ARE DEAD THEY WERE KILLED BY SNOKE WHEN THEY TRIED TO BRING HER TO LUKE FOR TRAINING

KYLO EATS ANAKINS FORCE GHOST AND KILLS IT

A PENGUIN MAKES REY LOSE THE FIGHT TO KYLO

THERES AN X WING ON THE ISLAND

LUKE KILLS ALL OF THE KNIGHTS OF REN IN ONE MOVE

KYLO REY AND LUKE TEAM UP AGAINST SNOKE AT THE VERY END

KYLO IS BEING A SNEAKY SITH

FILM ENDS WITH LUKE FACING OFF AGAINST SNOKE

>waiters from Red Lobster

>REY LOSE THE FIGHT TO KYLO
fake, rey is never going to loose

You're gunna be pretty bummed out when you see the film enjoy the spoilers faggot.

they're just a rehash of this which were equally fucking lame

>The Knights of Ren have been replaced by these four waiters from Red Lobster.
Wait what? So then what happens to the evil version of the seven samurai?

So this film is going to be a trainwreck?
I knew that it was going to be rather mediocre after TFA, but not outright awful.

the eyes look like different coloured kinder egg capsules

>Those cocksucking lips