While walking home late at night from where ever you were, you encounter a group of Skrull scientists...

While walking home late at night from where ever you were, you encounter a group of Skrull scientists. They offer to use their knowledge of the Super Skrull program to grant you the powers of 4 individuals. There are however several rules for your selection and they are:

1) The powers of the selected individuals must all be from the same universe.
2) Powers of Flash, Hulk, Superman, Thor class beings will receive a 75% reduction in overall power if you plan to select the powers of 4 individuals.
3) Powers of Flash, Hulk, Superman, Thor class beings will not receive a reduction in overall power if that is the only power you want and if it is empowered by an outside energy source (aka Speed Force and solar energy) but you will still suffer some sort of penalty such as a significant increase in recharge duration in order to reach 100% and a significant increase to energy depletion when power is used.
4) Powers of beings surpassing a Flash, Hulk, Superman, Thor class beings are instantly voided.
5) No similar power stacking. Meaning you can't stack the superstrength of individual A with the superstrength of individual B. Only the more powerful one of the pair will be taken.
6) You will receive whatever limitations, weakness and physical mutation of your superpower donor.
7) Powers that require a specific power source while require that specific power source in order to function.
8) You are limited to 1 specific power source empowering you (aka no solar energy and electricity).
9) Tech-based weapons counts towards the selection (aka Shocker's gauntlets).
10) Cosmic weapons are only allowed if a mass produced version exists (aka Nega-Bands and Power Rings).

Who do you select?

Nigger that's too damn many rules for me to think about this late at night.

None of the above, I bend them over and fuck them in their wrinkly green anuses

What happens if I pick David Haller and Charles Xavier?

Question! Are any of these skull scientists sexy skrull ladies like Lyja?

this desu

tl;dr

Can't one of them just give me a blowjob?

>Mera
>Zatanna
>Hawkman
>el diablo

>psylock's psychic powers (telepathy/tk powers)
>martain man hunter's shapeshifting abilities
>red power ring
>wolverine's healing factor

Animal Man
Mystic
Batman wits/tech repertory
Wolverine insane regeneration!

If I wanted a symbiot, would it augment any strength I have from other individuals? For instance, Capt. America with a symbiot, would I get augmented strength, plus whatever else from sybiote?

Fuck it.

Captain America, Venom Symbiote, Wolverine and Dr. Strange.

>Superman strength.
>Wolverine Healing factor.
>Magneto mutant power.
>Emma Frost Telepathy

You didnt read the rules. They need the same Universe and Superman would take a power dip.

>Forgetmenot
>Nightcrawler
And now I am practically invincible.
I wonder about "shoot on sight" kind of enemies but then again, why would they be in that mode if they dont know who I am/already forgot about me.

>Wolverine
For healing in case something extremely fucked up happens (like having some bullshit written into your story like fantomex being able to remember me)

Cant think of a 4th one.

>Wolverine's longevity and regenerative healing factor.
Defense against fatal injuries and death.

>Silk's enhanced physical attributes, wall crawling, spider-sense and web generation.
Because Spider-man's powers doesn't include web generation. And I am honestly not smart enough to create my own web shooters.

>Iron Fist's chi manipulation and augment.
Kung fu stuff. Chi augment to temporary boost my physical attributes when need. Can also be used to temporary boost the healing and regeneration within a specific area. Like instantly regenerating a missing limb or organ. Boost to longevity is also a possible as seen with other Immortal Weapons. Effectively immortal as a result.

>Finesse's photographic memory and reflexes
Taskmaster's photographic memory and reflexes without the negatives.

>without the negatives

You can just say Taskmaster. No one acknowledges that garbage.

Luke Cage's superstrength and durability
Quicksilver's superspeed, agility and reflexes
Cyclops's optic blast
Cannonball's flight

I am a downgraded bootleg Superman.

Isn't Cyke's puncheyes uncontrollable?

Not inherently. He cracked his head open as a kid and it fucked up the part of his brain that gave him control.

I guess it also fucked up the part of his brain that allowed him to be wrong

Yeah. Now it's always active

>Cannonball
>Cyclops

Are you invulnerable while you're optic blastin'?

>Silk's Spider Powers
She may be a Mary Sue, but, I want to be the best Spider-Man possible. And her powers are somehow better than Peter's, plus organic webbing.
>Wolverine Healing factor
I don't wanna have all my super hero days over because I got shot by someone..
>Bruce Banner's genius
I don't want to be the Hulk, I just want his brain. I feel like that'd be a great asset to being Spider-Man.
>Domino's Luck powers
Just in case typical Parker luck is applied to ALL Spider-Powers.

Leonard Samson
>not even She-Hulk class so I won't get a power reduction
>still get gamma powers like strength, regeneration, durability
>I get stronger and increase mass the longer my hair

Medusa
>ability to grow and control my hair on command.
>really great synergy with Samson's powers

Colossus
>ability to turn skin, bones, organs and hair into organic metal

Any suggestions for my fourth slot?

Beast, just so you'd be covered in hair

Telekinesis is always useful

>superstrong, unbreakable, prehensile hair all over your body

Kinda creeping me out here.

THE UNSTOPPABLE IRON FURBALL

Captain America, Taskmaster, Wolverine, Kestrel

Gold medals at every Olympics, and none of that "immortal getting trapped permanently" bullshit

I am become Death.

Maybe name yourself Donut, so you can be a real donut steel

You madman

I'd go with Werewolf by Night or a Wendigo because they tend to be shaggier and I could infect others

Destiny doesn't grant you godhood so that you may share it!

>Color Kid
>Cypher
>Slipknot
>Any other lame superpower that can become extremely OP when used creatively

I'll be unstoppable

Also, fuck all these rules about being the same universe and shit.

Wolverine's healing factor
Spider-Man's power set
Quicksilver's power set
Reed Richards' intelligence

So I'm a near-immortal speedster with stength and agility that outclasses any ordinary human by a huge margin, as well as wallcrawling and precog, plus superhuman intelligence

Hmm.

Lets start with Wolverine's healing factor. We'll have Luke Cages durability and super strength. So, at this point I should be pretty much unable to die for age or injury or sickness, and dominate a small army in a fight.

I'll also have the Purple Mans power of suggestion, and flight powers from a random decent flyer.

I will then bring world peace, and keep it until the heat-death of the universe, somehow ensuring humanity (in whatever form it takes in the future) survives. I have millions to billions of years to work on it.

Martian Manhunter
Multiple Man
Molecule Man

I don't really have a 4th*, but this way I could be a One-Man Justice League/Avengers. And screw the "same universe" horseshit.
*Would choose Cypher, even though it wrecks the "M.M." thing I had going, but don't want to seem to be ripping off another user.

>Wolverine insane regeneration
Pleb, go read actual comics and come back when you pick one of the other characters with regen that laughs at Wolverine's.

Flash
Plastic Man
Martian Manhunter
Shaggy Man

It's no so much that as Wolverine's is tried and tested. It will keep you healthy and unaging (or so slowly aging you may as well not be, especially without adamantium) and you will heal from even point blank shotgun blasts to the face. It's frankly good enough.

Too good, and you can end up like Deadpool, or in an eternal cycle of torment unable to die but unable to live/heal fully. Too little and you are wasting the 'wish'.

IRL:

The dick of Ron Jeremy
The size and strength of the Mountain
The longevity of Stan Lee
The intelligence of Stephen Hawking (even tho he just says dude black holes lmao)

>Bullseye's accuracy
>Cyclops' optic beams
>Spider-Man's speed, strength, spider-sense, and web-shooters
>Jean Gray's telekinesis + telepathy
I can shoot anything I look at and never miss, I can dodge anything, and I can turn people gay.

I'd probably take "The money of Bill Gates" over the mountain one

Limits your positions if you're gonna crush a bitch when you get on top of her

Multiple man
Quicksilver
Xavier
Forge

None, because i don't associate with disgusting Skrull scum.

>wolverine healing
>luke cage durability
>mystique shapeshifting

live some long ass life, but can change it so i can live multiple lives as different people

then reed's smartness or some shit

i wont be a hero either, just live my lives in peace

Same universe fuck head

I would choose Flash powers only.
Or Flash and a Yellow Lantern ring.

Is the Surfer aloud?
If so...

DOOM
Silver Surfer
Shadowcat
Magneto

Skrulls lay eggs so like Togruta they're monotremes and have cloacas, not anuses.

>best blowjob ever
>in the middle the omni-wave projector is activated and the skrull is permanently locked into the form of a dumpster
>only you know the location of the sentient blowjob dumpster

he says that but desu he says a lot of unbelievable shit these days

homosexual kree detected

He'd get nerfed hard

Jango Fett's skills, weapons and armor
Obi-wan Kenobi's force powers
Yoda's lightsaber skills
orange butt cheeks

The World
Hey Ya!
Soft and Wet
Vampirism

Fuck off you phony green twinks.

human fucker

>Coming from a plugort whose fetish is Pretending to be a human

How have we not wiped your asses out already?

probably too busy fucking humans

Thor (smashing strength and rain and lightning, and eventually the Odinforce).
Silk (because organic webbing and spider sense).

I don't really think I'd need anything else. Maybe some advanced healing like Wolverine, but I think Thor being a god covers that well enough. Ideas anyone?

I feel like you just generated 4 random characters

Now kiss, you two!

- Vandal Savage for actual, infallible immortality and regen
- Red Power Ring with actual thinking capability
(many Red Lanterns got it, and I do rage often)
- Vril Dox/Mister Terrific brains (whoever is smarter, can't remember)
- can't remember who in DC got superpower that guarrantied pussy 100% of the time.

>Vandal Savage for actual, infallible immortality and regen
Good luck hunting down your descendants and eating them in order to maintain your immortality.

>Cyclops
eyes are portals to the punch dimension
solar radiation powers the portals, more energy I have the stronger the blasts get
>Eyeboy
more eyes = more portals
>Sunspot
More efficient solar energy absorption
Plus flight and super strength
>Sunfire
Create my own solar radiation

>Create my own solar radiation

Summers family powers don't work on people who have Summers family powers

no, it really doesn't make any sense, but there you have it, now you're the human battery that powers the punch dimension

>solar radiation powers the portals, more energy I have the stronger the blasts get
That is honestly not a good thing since Cyclops himself was afraid of the fact that he is capable of committing suicide via optic blast if he release a powerful enough one.

>eventually the Odinforce
>implying you will inherit the Odinforce when you are just another Thunderstrike clone.

I thought Cyclops and Havok were "immune" to each other's blasts because they just absorbed them.

Cyclops is immune to his own eye blasts. But if I were to create a miniature sun with Sunfire's powers and absorb some light from that, does that fall under the immune to own powers thing?

i guess so i mean we're talking about asspull powersets here

>Nega Bands
>Supernovae helmet
>Sue Storm's power set
>Binary's power set

ULTIMATE JUSTICE SPACE COP

Dick Grayson is your fourth user. Bitches love Dick.

>April Parker
Spider powers and symbiote abilities (shape-shifting, Web generation) in one.
>Invisible Woman
Force field generation is OP as fuck
>Graviton
Even when reduced having the ability to manipulate gravity is pretty baller.
>Nightcrawler
Bamfing my way out of any mess or corner seems handy.

Since when has he done that?

Pre-Flashpoint, JSA run.

I guess I could have specified, "Thor with the Odinforce", but the Odinforce is really just a bonus, so it came as an afterthought.

I want Batman's money powers, Superman's body type, Flash's metabolism, and Aquarman's hair

>Gravity 75%
control over gravity
>Polaris 75%
electromagnetic force
>Molecule Man 75%
weak and strong nuclear forces
>Charles Xavier 75%
75% of world's most powerful telepath is still world's most powerful telepath

welcome to Peaksville, bitches

Fuck it, never heard of it, basing my powers on Demon Knights version since it can be canon.
They do, but it's not transmitable superpower, like bitches love spider-Man thing.

I only want shapeshifting and the ability to win any argument.

That's 25%. You get 25% of them. Not 75%

>Doctor Doom
Just watch me make an armored suit powered by demons

>Quicksilver
Can't hit what you can't catch

>A symbiote
Regeneration, shapeshifting, and general toughness

>Wolverine
Just to make sure I'm immortal

someone wants to wake up as a toaster

I just want to be Spiderman
Just give me those powers and I'll be good

>Indestructible skin and strength of Power Man
>Flight and cosmic blasts of Captain Marvel
>Symbiote of Agent Venom/AntiVenom aka not a complete psychopath
>The full RANGE of Jean Grey's telekinetic powers but at a cut to power. Utility>power

How did I do?

Come quickly Captain Mary-Sue the city's in peril!

>Werewolf by Night
>Venom
>Gladiator (Melvin Potter)
>Drassus the Centaur

Power Girl's physical form
Phantom Girl's phasing abilities
Black Canary's super scream
Zatanna's magic.

My powers aren't too op so I don't expect them to get leveled down.

If I was able to choose things from different universes I would go

>fully loaded out Ultimatrix
>Green Lantern ring
>Iron Man's Nanobot Suit
>Nanites from Generator Rex (Rex's particular mutation)

Photon's flight
Nightcrawlers's teleportation
Captain Marvel's ability to live and thrive in space.
Vision's intangibility

Or I could be a very low powered Surfer, but without the board.

>Colossus' metal skin
>Wolverine's healing factor and claws
>Beast's strength, agility, and intelligence
>Cyclops' Optic Blast and tactical prowess.
I'd be un-fucking-stoppable. Unless, you know, magneto shows up.

>Brainiac
>Speedster slower than Flash so I don't get a reduction
>Shazam's magic
>Vandal Savage immortality

Spider-man: spider-sense
Hulk: Enhanced Durability
Beast: Enhanced Agility
Reed Richards: Hyper-Intelligence

I'm good to go.

Hulk
Spider-man
Wolverine
Reed Richards

wolverine can drown and i'm pretty sure all four of them can be electrocuted

you're pretty much fucked against the Sinister Six, ffs

>parker luck
>uncontrollable raging second personality
>furry
>cuck

welp

Bitch you think I'm going to remember a fucking novel's worth of rules that late at night? Give me my omnipotence and fuck off space niggers.

Martian Manhunter
Shazam
Batman
Green Lantern

I can take on anyone.

Martian Manhunter's telepathy
Firestorm's atomic transmutation and flight
Whatever is the strongest power ring
Plastic Man's elasticity and invincibility

Shadowcat's intangibility
Electro's electricity manipulation
Stegron's dinosaur strength/endurance/physiology but make it transformation and not permanent
Multiple man's duplication

I would be some terrifying hulking dinosaur man who fires off lightning blasts and you can't hit me and there could be an army of me

Multiple Man
Miracleman (75%)
Magneto
Mystique

>skrulls
>asking permission

Pick one.