Fuck

fuck
marry
kill

Fuck Marie
Marry May
Kill Lee

And here is why...
Marie is hot but also a slut and would probably cheat on me anyway therefore not wife material.
May is super domestic (She is the only one that seems to care for her respective ed) and she's basically a shortstack already guaranteed to be thick when she's an adult.
And Lee would probably try to kill me so I have to kill her first.
It's just science

/thread

Fuck yellow
marry blue
kill red


blue is the only one that doesn't look/act retarded and red is too snu snu retard for me

It's the only logical combination

Don't get me wrong though I'd fuck all three if I could

You guys are missing out on the wild bed rocking Lee would make you a slave to

but I want to fuck both Lee and Marie
They both seem like they'll fuck you up real good.

Fuck blonde
Marry blue
Kill red

Purge the heretic etc.

Marry redhead.
Fuck bluehead.
Kill blonde.

>marrying Red
Good luck with that divorce

I could never buy into the Eds being grossed out by the kankers because I always had a huge boner for the blue haired one.

Fuck Marie
Marry May
Kill Lee

Not that I actually want Lee dead, but she doesn't qualify for the other two actions. May is probably the most marriage material, and Marie is bad news in the best way.

You're not gonna believe me when I say this, but some of us on Sup Forums AREN'T into being dommed by aggressive women.

The kankers are meant to represent three different types of unappealing girlfriend archetypes
>Marie
Manipulative: Marie's only interest in Edd is his naivete she sees him as a sucker that she can tease and lead on to get whatever she wants from him but would probably just cuck him and leave him as soon as he wises up or has nothing more to provide.
>Lee
Ballbusting: Lee is a straight up spiritcrusher she sees Eddy as a challenge because he is almost as stubborn and forceful as her so she wants to break his will until he fits what she wants him to be, once she has successfully changed him he will cease to be interesting and she will dump him.
>May
Smothering: May contrary to the other two actually seems to genuinely like Ed (And Edd that one time) because of shared interests but in her case she is absolutely obsessed to the point of being obnoxious she wants Ed to spend all his time with her in neglect to anything else.

All three were aparently raised by their single mom which from their descriptions seems pretty bitter about men in general and may have filled their heads with unhealthy ideas of what relationships should be like.
That said the reasons the eds don't like them is just because they are weird trailer trash that always mess with them.

Marry Lee
Fuck Marie
Kill may
Not a fan of May, and Lee has been growing on me.

I want to get femdommed by Lee.

Fuck myself by marrying a bullet to my head which kills me

Guys... they're trailer trash, just marry all.

Fuck Marie
Marry May
Kill Lee

>Guys... they're trailer trash,
Right!
>just marry all.
Almost... just FUCK them all. Not marry.

May is actually a savant.

>There are people who genuinely dislike Lee

she was objectively the worst Kanker

fitting that she liked eddy the least likable ed as well

It should be illegal to draw them this hot

...

May was the worst Kanker.

You're describing what the Kankers plan to do to the Eds, right?

Why was everyone in the show so trashy?

>That Eddy
Fucking disgusting.

I would let her dom me hard. I feel like Lee'd be into that shit.

You spelled May wrong

this post ends the thread

Doesn't that make it more accurate though?

He doesn't look like a disgusting, little scamdwarf though.
This one looks more like some short, fat Mexican drug dealer with a bad hair cut.

Fair enough, I figured he'd be more like a sleazy manlet anyway.

Marie (the one you call blue) is actually not that smart. Lee (red) is basically all the Eds combined without any of the weaknesses. Marie (blue) and May (yellow) are basically henchmen, extensions of Lee's (red's) will.

that's way too much hair

Well, yeah, their entire shtick was forcefully molesting the eds.

>not wanrtng to fuck the smartest one, Lee
>Not trying to woo the girl trying to kill you
why do so many people not like Lee, i always found her the hottest

>Lee
>Smartest one

she literally is the leader of the group and comes up with most of the plans
what, you're gonna say Marie is? or fucking May?

The other two are kinda dumb. Lee was the only one who exhibited any kind of intuition.

>May is the worst and Marie is the best
Wrong, Marie is generic and one-dimensional.

The reason 9gaggers and Facebookers like her is because "she looks like a punk rocker, and punk rockers are cool and hot lol lol". That's it.

May is the patrician's choice. As shown throughout the episodes (like the Valentine's day one), she is the only Kanker who isn't always bitchy/trashy and actually cares about others at times (as shown by her near-genuine relationship with Edd in that episode).

>and Marie is the best
I literally never said that.
Lee is the best.

It was because she was shot with Cupids arrow, did you even watch that episode?

I think it's accurate, reminds me of the 20-something special ed student from my old high school.

May is definitely the most viable for a relationship. Lee is probably the Kanker to avoid even though she has her own strengths. Marie is almost as mean but seems lazy and lacking agency to do anything too bad on her own, which is probably also why she's the fat one later on.

May is actually book smart and a closet nerd
Why did you quote the first post which said May was best?
>It was because she was shot with Cupids arrow, did you even watch that episode?
Absolutely nothing was said to indicate that she didn't actually have those traits, the only thing that can be for certain said about the arrow was that it made her infatuated with double d.

>mfw people ITT think May is smart
she was temporarily smart as a one-off gag to impress double d because love magic cupid arrows

hell ed's been smart in plenty of gags but you don't see people so quick to defend him

>Fuck May
>Marry Marie
>Kill Lee
If you don't want to marry this, and fuck her silly every night about 6-8 times, and have a family of 6, than you have no right to call yourself a man.

If you have six children with Marie they aren't your kids

>she was temporarily smart as a one-off gag to impress double d because love magic cupid arrows
And marie is only attractive in fanart what is your point?

i still don't get why everyone hates lee
like, she's abrasive, i get that, but fuck man, she at least was competent, i really don't get this hate

I think it is more fair to decide based on the show's official art, seeing how fanart generally tend to be more flattering than the original

Out of the three, Marie is the only one designed in a way that can be considered conventionally attractive
May can be considered cute on a good day in a rather cartoonish way
Lee was purposefully designed to be unattractive, while still passing of as a regular human being

personality wise, they are all trash, with Marie and Lee being the abusive types, while May being the controlling smothering type

so Lee is definitely kill
May and Marie are a coin flip
you either marry an attractive woman who will crush your spirit unless you divorce her in time, or marry a less attractive woman who won't get off of your case, but you have a chance she'll leave you be once the kids come (in which case, congratulations on the mental scars your offspring will grow-up with)

Marie is not marriage material by any stretch. You will become a literal, unmemed cuckold. Also she gets fat.
>marrying the hot one
You can barely trust your dick's judgment for the next couple of hours, let alone the rest of your life.

It's not hate as much as she just isn't anyone's favorite
All the kankers were annoying and abrasive we just fool ourselves into thinking otherwise because fanart.

actually, she is the only one who can be considered attractive outside of fanart

Probably reminds some of us of our overbearing mothers, as opposed to the guys who like her, because she reminds them of their overbearing mothers.

Not really you're just blinded by blue hair.
She looks like Kevin with eye shadow

My dad thinks the show is ugly but even he recognized Marie as cute.

When I was in 9th grade there was this girl in my Spanish class who would tease me despite me being a fucking nerd, playing that little game girls play. She was a huge slut, my first valentine and gf, and that's how I see marie.

But despite all of this, I would rather marry her than a psychotic and mean bitch like lee or some mouthbreathing inbred retard hillbilly spawn like may. Marie is also the only actually hot one of the sisters and she has some semblance of intelligence if she's meant to parallel double d like lee and may do their counterparts. She can definitely fix her manipulative tendencies through growing up and maturing, whereas may will always be a stupid redneck.

Tell me more about your father's waifus.
Who does he think is best girl?

He liked Betty Rubble growing up. I trust his taste.

While I can agree that Betty is good I must defer to the wisdom in best post

>she has some semblance of intelligence if she's meant to parallel double d
Fallacious. The whole thing, but starting with this. Marie has nothing in common with Double D besides being the right hand man for the ambitious leader-type, and possibly being the "cute" one outside of canon. Also there's no reason to believe she would grow up or mature. There's no real reason for her to unless you start throwing in headcanon, and in that case it certainly isn't more likely than May picking up a book one of these days. Your 9th grade gf is likely still a slut and would be a terrible wife.

I actually agree with that post too. It's just that I use my dad as a rough barometer of normie tastes, and he likes Marie.

>Implying that the smartest and most loyal of the sisters is a slut.
No. My waifu is pure! Smart tomboys are a major turn-on for me. She is a cougar on the streets, and a maiden in the sheets.

>the smartest and most loyal
Lee is smarter and May is more loyal.
Marie is just the sluttiest.

in all fairness, wasn't Kevin supposed to be handsome on the show?

Don't forget laziest.

Not everyone aspires to be trailer trash.

But... they are all trailer trash.

Obviously. Becoming trailer trash yourself to be with one of them is a bad idea though.

Fuck May Lee Marie
Marry May Lee Marie
Kill ...

And here's why...
Im muslim bitches I can take up to 3 consenting brides !
I ain't killing nobody taking a life in my religion is a straight ticket to hell !

isn't killing the literally only way one can get to paradise?

buff Kankers are best Kankers, really hope Thiccseid does more with them in the future

nope. read the book. those suicide bombers get jack cuz they got seduced by agents of shaitan

You've been misinformed my friend

No, that's how you reach Valhalla. And it's gotta be a good kill. No sucker punching with a vest bomb.

Pretty much. Abu Bakr once said that even if he were halfway through the door to Paradise, Allah could still rip it away at the last second and condemn him to hell forever. Jihad against the kaffir is the ONLY guaranteed method.

Actually, they get Paradise. They died in Allah's name while killing the unbelievers and the hypocrites. It's also not "suicide" in Islamic thought, as they died in the cause of Allah and jihad. They are Islamic martyrs. It's funny and pathetic that Muslims always deny that their "Prophet" was a child molesting, village burning, property thieving, tyrannical narcissist and sociopath.

It's quite clear that YOU haven't read the book, and are just lying to protect dear Allah's wittle feelings.

Whatever floats your boat my christian bretheren !

Which one would enjoy being a housewife the most?

This is logical and sound.

But why not have all three like Edd's older brother from the movie.

Fuck Marie
Marry May
Kill Lee

May is pure waifu material, Marie would be a good fuck, but not a good wife, and Lee is shit tier no one likes.

>Edd's older brother

...

So were they half-sisters?

>Thread isn't filled with Kanker fanart
I'm out

Yes. But they were raised in the same house, presumedly without the mom so their bond it stronger.

S-stop it user

They're trailer trash. just fuck all three and be done.

Definitely May.

I can't do anything to drawing.... You retard

I think it's a combination of unflattering features.
biggest issue I have with her is her chin. it's often very wide and has scruffy hairs on it in some shots. And when her eyes are covered all the time you project an appearance on what you can't see. Since the chin feels awkwardly proportioned you just assume the rest of the face is too so the part of her face you can't see is seen as equally poor.

Canonically May.
Every time she gets near Ed she always tries to take care of him, making him food or massaging him or something while Marie and Lee just boss their eds around.
She does however expect Ed to fit the stereotypical male domestic role as well though.

I'd rather be the boy toy of all of them.

>I ain't killing nobody taking a life in my religion is a straight ticket to hell !
Ironic considering there are an awful lot of justifications for it in the quran and Mohammad spent a bunch of time killing folk near the end.

>That May
I told you she would be thick!

Which one is into anal?