Alias Storytime (Part 2)

Welcome back Anons! Let's try this with less shitposting.

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=pl3vxEudif8
twitter.com/SFWRedditImages

I'll probably only do the recap pages at the start of the storytimes.

What, Jessica is allowed all fun with shitting and buttfucking but I'm not allowed to shitpost?
Racist double standards.

Rememeber, they later establish that Jessica is the same age as Spider-Man. Bendis forgetting what he types isn't new.

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Classic Bendis-speak right here.

We went through most of Luke's appearances. Note that he never actually MET Tigra or Jessica Drew, and She-Hulk never let him into her apartment.

Nitpicking? Yes, but since when do we NOT make fun of Bendis?

You'll notice that long scenes where the characters are eating together are a big thing when Bendis writes.

God damn it Bendis, nobody says "cutie pie".

Carol is just drunk again and making shit up.

>"He's not even the real Ant-Man?"

Off the top of your head, how many legacy characters has Bendis made since working for Marvel?

If you assume that everyone who does Bendis-speak is drunk as fuck, it DOES make his books more fun.

One of Carol's lesser mentioned power is that she can Henshin into her costumed appearance.
It doesn't come up anymore since she hasn't worn anything besides her Captain Marvel costume in god knows how long.

Yeah, this is going to be a shorter storytime than usual. This page made me imagine Bendis writing erotica, and now I need to wash myself with fucking steel wool.

Guess which part of that last post was true!

>tfw I have flashbacks of Uncanny X-Men and Quire eating apple in every panel
Fucking Bachalo.

Just imagine how short this series could've been, if Bendis stopped with the Bendis-speak, and Gados actually used the entire fucking page.

Every Avengers title (Dark, New, New v2, Adjectiveless, maybe even Mighty) has at least one scene where they're all eating together,

Yeah, this guy shows up a lot. He does precisely jack shit.

>fat man is obsessed with food
Color me surprised

Fucking hell, Metal Gear Solid doesn't repeat itself this often, Bendis!

It's beginning to feel like every damn page now.

Slott is just as much as a fatass, and I can't think of him doing nearly as many of those scenes.

Our hero, ladies and gentlemen. Works a job that requires her to answer the door, and doesn't bother checking it before telling them to fuck off.

I swear, if I didn't have to work in a few hours, I'd make a drinking game out of the Bendis-speak.

As someone who also has a dirt common last name, I feel like that's not an assumption you can make easily.

Drink once if character has more than two speech bubbles per panel?

Same rules as the MGS drinking game. Take a shot every time a character repeats something the last character just said.

Going by the time, I think I'll just cut it super short and finish with this issue. If the thread is still up when I get back, I'll finish up the arc.

Wait, is this the same Jessica Jones pose as the last thread, where the only difference is the smoke trail?

Look at that shit in the third panel! Most of the textbox is out of the panel, and the panel leaves so much blank space

Remember when piercings were the traditional substitute for a personality instead of stupid shirts?

>three same panels
>same panel in various state of zoom
I want job like this!

Yet another well known page of this book, for all the wrong reasons.

To be fair, if I was a kid and a fucking smartass, I can't guarantee I WOULDN'T ask my parents if I was related to someone fictional with my last name.

This entire conversation could've been compressed to panel two panels.

So Bendis has a history of being a cuck and masochist for women. Now it all makes sense.

>"Rick Jones. Guy used to hang out with 'The Hulk'."
>"And the Avengers as a whole, and Captain America, and Captain Marvel, and Rom, and a different Captain Marvel..."

Am I missing anyone?

You want lazy pages? He didn't even draw half of this, he just copy-pasted the script onto the page.

Cutting corners everywhere, Ike Perlmutter would be proud.

>"Huh?"
>"I'm a mutant, and my power is to see if other people have powers. What's yours?"
>"I have super strength and can fly."

You could squeeze that into one fucking panel.

I should actually read the Kree-Skrull war again. I read it once about a year ago, but I barely remember how it went, since it didn't actually have the Kree and Skrull going to war for a while.

>these fuckers
LOOK HOW RATED R I AM

You could ALSO play a drinking game with how often he says "fuck".
But I haven't read much Marvel MAX, so that may just be a thing they all do.

>tfw Rick Jones was important both in Kree-Skrull war and later in Kree-Shi'ar war
And now his best bud is dead.
I wouldn't be surprised if bad guys in Punisher MAX kept swearing and Frank kept frowning, grunting and Franking.

This is probably the best a mutant has been treated by a civilian in a while, treating her as an annoying bitch instead of a crime against god.

And by Kree-Shi'Ar war, you're referring to something before DnA, yeah? Huh, never actually read that one before.

Speaking of cutting corners, they did this TWICE.

Actually skipping to the rest of the arc? He does it four times this arc.

So is this an actual song, or did Bendis make some shit up?

Backgrounds in panels two and four? They look exactly the same.

Seriously Jones? Out of everyone you've met, things have gone pretty okay for you. You haven't died, for starters.

I was referring to the Operation Galactic Storm, actually.
Aliens in general serve as cannon fodder for latest space big bad but Kree have history of being steamrolled by everyone.
Also, decades later, Bendis would use Kree-Skrull war in his Illuminati where they show up to threaten Skrulls only to be captured and tortured.
Retards.

Umm...
youtube.com/watch?v=pl3vxEudif8

If this thread is still up when I get back, in 8 hours, I'll do the other two issues of this arc. If not, same time as usual. See you Anons either way.

Cut the man some slack. The comic's over 10 years old, there's a lot things that aren't said, done or worn anymore. I'd post some cringy nostalgia bomb fashion trends if this wasn't a storytime. Point being, it's a different time.

bump..

Man, that recap doesn't at all include that SHIELD murdered the shit out of that Fortune 500 guy.

Also, hey user.

This series really establishes all the Bendis cornerstones, doesn't it?
Dodgy continuity.
Overly repeated panels.
Words? Words. Words Words? Words Words Words.

All topped off with art that looks like Gaydos drew it with his feet.

I'm pretty sure that Tigra and Jessica Drew even both lived in California for most of the time Cage has been around.

Carol is certainly cavalier with Scott's secret identity.

He's not just fat, he's a fat jew!
If you don't want him filling space with long, pointless scenes of people stuffing their gross faces, you're an anti-semite.

Wait, is this the Autist kid from upstairs from the Netflix show?

God what the fuck is going on with her face in panel 3?

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Alias is the only good thing Bendis ever wrote and ironically is my favorite comic run ever.

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I think he's supposed to be the black guy?

Mods please ban this person right away, he does nothing but shitpost storytimes.

Regards,
user

Man, he Bendis really, really didn't bother rereading this shit when he got around to writing her origin, did he?

Y'know, Kurt Busiek's Autumnlands does something like this at the start of every issue... but it's less lazy page filler and more reframing story beats as pulp fiction from in universe.

It's David Bowie, mang.

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I like Alias, and I have a pass I don't use like I should, so here's the next two issues. No commentary, though, I'm tired and putting this on autopost.

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>I said to him
>I said
>you said that to him?
>I said it
I wish someone would kill bendis already
How long can he get away with it?
How do people enjoy his writing?

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