In an age of capeshit and shared universes, can we ever get a true historical epic of Alexander the Great?

In an age of capeshit and shared universes, can we ever get a true historical epic of Alexander the Great?

Stones movie sucked (sorry Sup Forums)

I thought Alexander was blonde?

WE

Oh da, my favorite Slavic Hero, da! Filthy Greeks stealing glorious Slavic History,jajajaja.

user, you'll never get an Alexander flick because the SJWs are just gonna bitch and moan about making him a Slav, because a couple of subhuman rednecks rose up 30 years ago, found out they had no history, and decided to steal someone else's. They're Europe's US Nig-Nogs.

Alexander the Great was a strong, proud woman of color.

Blonde Macedonians are pretty rare man

This is what they look like

We might get one, but only if it has the opportunity to be turned into a "universe"

>in an age of capeshit
>can we get a true historical epic
answered your own question lad

this is b8

That guy is a rapefugee

Most Ancient Greeks had blond hair and blue eyes actually, Alexander would have been no exception.
Macedonia was Greek

>"""macedonians"""
You mean Slavs, user. Slavs. Real Macedonia is a region in Greece.

Why would ancient Mediterraneans look different from modern Mediterraneans?

>slavs
that is CLEARLY a terrorist lad

>bio pic on Alexander the Great
>doesn't have Diogenes BTFOing him in public

Didn't you hear? They were abducted by UFO's and replaced by people originating from Mongolia.

I'm kinda surprised no one's tried to make a series about him. He's a very famous historical figure and he lived an exciting life.

He might have been blonde. We don't really know for sure what his hair color was.

They don't. Meds still have blue eyes, blonde ahir and fairly white skin.Sup Forums just considers everyone a tint darker than Scandinavian White "not white".

Sure, but """Macedonia""" ain't a notion. Just a bunch of LARPing Slavs with no identity who are stealing someone's history while they're down. Same thing Turkroaches are doing, really.

>what are the great migrations of the "dark" ages

Because immigration and breeding practices changes the demographics of a country. Greeks weren't all blonde-haired and blue-eyed, but the Northern Greeks tended to have the sort of light complexion we would associate with Western Europeans of today, and the Southern Greeks (the Ionians) tended to be swarthy.

> while Diogenes was relaxing in the morning sunlight, Alexander, thrilled to meet the famous philosopher, asked if there was any favour he might do for him. Diogenes replied, "Yes, stand out of my sunlight."

This is what a pure-bred Greek looks like

>Post thread on Alexander bio-pic
>Turns into a Sup Forums race discussion

sad boys

>guy who conquered the known world and fucked queens and princesses on a daily basis got "BTFO" by a homeless public masturbator
Diogenes was basically the Sup Forums troll of his time

>fucked queens and princesses on a daily basis
>had only one kid

I'm hoping for a Roman epic about Arminius and Teutoburg Forest

He had two sons that we know of. He was just really good at pulling out.

>guy who conquered the known world and fucked queens and princesses on a daily basis got "BTFO" by a homeless public masturbator

yeah... princesses :^)

>Most Ancient Greeks had blond hair and blue eyes actually, Alexander would have been no exception.

WE

Only one kid is confirmed his

HOL UP

Heracles of Macedon is usually accepted as being his illegitimate kid

Alexander was short and weird looking

>Physically, Alexander was not prepossessing. Even by Macedonian standards he was very short, though stocky and tough. His beard was scanty, and he stood out against his hirsute Macedonian barons by going clean-shaven. His neck was in some way twisted, so that he appeared to be gazing upward at an angle. His eyes (one blue, one brown) revealed a dewy, feminine quality. He had a high complexion and a harsh voice

"high complexion" would assert he had a reddish, ugly face

No joke I was literally watching stones movie (ultimate cut or something, 3 hours long), got to the intermission at last... Will watch last part later. Kind of cheesy but still watchable.

>tfw no busty barbarian qt gf though... nor qt twink bf
why the fuck live?

So he had a face only his mother and butt buddy could love?

That just makes him more impressive imo. Only someone with an unbelievable amount of charisma could have marched troops that far while looking like that

Stone's version is full of historical inaccuracies and seems to play up the homosex angle just to piss people off. I'd much rather have a scene of him in fucking Egypt (the 2nd biggest moment of his career, some would argue the biggest) instead of him making out with eunuchs in drunken orgies

Also Colin Farril isn't nearly as charismatic enough to play him.

Inb4 some faggot who's been drinking too much brit kool-aid brings up Napoléon

I heard there are two different biographies of this man. It's only the greek one that made him a homo that fits greek tradition.

Primary sources said he had a feminine face, but that it wasn't ugly. The "reddish" look probably came from being a pale kid who spent all his time in the Middle East.

Rhetoric was everything for the Greeks. He was insanely charismatic, and the fact that he had the balls to charge into combat AHEAD of his army made people respect him.

Yup it's too bad Stone makes history into some cheesy homo soap opera, I agree. Tells far more about the one creating the movie and its era than on the subject itself... but that's the problem of almost every period drama actually.

...You do know people come in all shapes and sizes, right? It's like saying Adam Sandler is a prime example of a pure-blooded American.

I love the fact that he fought in dozens of battles, often charging at the head of a wedge of cavalry, and was wounded numerous times in combat. Alexander must have been either very lucky or a genuinely tough motherfucker.

>heterochromia
That makes me think that whole description is bullshit, desu.

Look at the leaders of men today. Few of them are actually attractive. If you have the ability to speak and are capable of actually winning battles consistently, men are going to follow you.

There's a pretty good manga about Eumenes

Stone's movie sucked but it's not his fault Macedonians get booty blasted at even the slightest implication that Alex wasn't straight as an arrow.

Multiple sources bring up the two different colored eyes thing, it's probably true

So he only made this movie to piss off macedonians? That's an expenseive prank. I only managed to watch like 15-20 minutes into the movie. Colin Farell sucks and the cinematography was crap. The film looked amateurish as fuck and in these first few minutes, Alexander is portrayed as an immature moron tied to his mother's apron strings. Angelina Jolie was also a reason I turned it off.

>"""Macedonians"""

FYROMians*

I have seen three different versions of Stone's movie. Ask me anything.

Why would you subject yourself to that?

Stone is a blatantly anti-semitic communist who believes in UFO's. Who knows what he's up to

You have to take everything you read about the physical characteristics of ancient figures with a grain of salt. Napoleon lived just a couple centuries ago and everyone still thinks that he was short, even though Churchill was shorter.

You also get into issues of race and complexion when talking about Mediterranean figures. If you read Quora everyone is falling over themselves to describe Alexander as "dark" just because of the location of his birth. PC revisionist history, time, and the thousands of stories told about Alexander throughout all of history cloud the issue.

Pic related is accurate according to Plutarch, but he himself lived a couple hundred years after Alexander. That''s as good as we're gonna get.

The Theatrical Cut sucked but was fascinating. I hoped the Final Cut would be better. It wasn't, but I tried giving Olly Stone one more chance by watching the Ultimate Cut. It was okay.

who is this semen demon

>Gordian knot

Ahahahaha nigga just cut it with a sword nigga, why use your hands hahaha

>fighting the invader and not guilt tripping him with empire-wide civil disobedience

Darius fucked up.