Fantastic Four episode 13

Doo doo bumdabum doo doo bumdabum

Roast prepared via chef Grimm! Rare of course!

I think it came out pretty good!

owch hothothot I need to lay this down someplace! Teach me ta take things right outta the oven!

I think that looks ok. But I don't like eating parasites.

Oh god yes

But why settle for an ok roast?

When you can have it well done instead?

JOHNNY WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO YOU PLEBIAN PIECE OF SHIT I SPENT 3 DAYS PREPARING THAT AND NOW YOU RUINED IT AND NO AMOUNT OF KETCHUP IS GONNA MAKE THAT THING TASTE HALF AS GOOD. I OUGHTA SNAP YOUR LEG IN HALF AND THROW THAT IT THE OVEN.

Keep it down you two! I'm trying to read my chinese bootleg textbooks in peace! Oh? Is dinner ready?! Wonderful!

Bump

Reed: I'd like to thank Ben for being gracious enough to volunteer to be the woman of the house while Sue's out on vacation.

Thing: Ain't nobody at this table is Christian so there's no point in sayin' grace. Let's eat!

Thing: Well... at least that was edible. I wonder what animal that was we just ate?

SUDDENLY

I made it! Yay! Now I just have to fight against my sleeping meds to last until the end.

Earthquake! I'm feeling dull surprise at the change of fortune!

CALM YOURSELF JOHNNY. You can clean up after this later but there's something amiss about this quake...

Johnny, Flame on and check outside. See if there's an earthquake out there, too.

Well... seems like nothing's shaking but OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOD

A whole city block! Gone! Dr. Doom will be crying bitch tears for decades all over again!

Oh nice!
I was wondering if I'd see any more of these.

Johnny: REED! YOU'LLNEVERBELIEVETHISBUTTHERE'SASKYSCRAPERMISSING

Reed: Slow down! There's no time for emotions! You're a man or at least you should pretend to be one.

City. Skyscraper. Fall. Down. Big. Hole. Never. Forget.

This conversation is going nowhere. There's no way a skyscraper just falls down into a hole. You know what guys? We're just going to check out what's going on out there. I have to do everything around here...

Reed: Well I'll be damned.

Thing: SOMEONE owes SOMEBODY an apology. But what does it mean? There was a building here. It's gone now.

I'll take a look. Even if I have to go to THE CENTER OF THE EARTH

Thing: Johnny! Be careful! There might be chinamen down there if you go too far!

Reed: He is really far down. I can't even see his fire anymore!

I'm impressed by the craftmanship of this hole!

Ice! There's all ice down here! If I knew anything about geology I could have prepared myself for this!

>Calculas Advanced
Isn't Reed meant to be the smartest man in the world? Why would he just be reading a fucking calculus book? Also, a calculus book with a fucking typo on the cover.

Whoo I love these threads. Afraid I can't read right now, though.

Johnny: There was too much ice down there! I couldn't do anything I had to go back!

Thing: ICE? Down there?! As a rock man I'm offended by this. Why didn't you melt it?

Johnny: I can melt ice? Oh yeah!...

>There might be chinamen down there if you go too far!
My fucking sides.

The tunnel and earthquake and ice has convinced me of who is responsible for this. Let's get back to my lab as I stall for time so I can surprise and impress you both!

It's ok. Just glad people like em. Last couple of weeks harldy no one has been posting in em.

Do you do it the same time every week so I can know when to tune in?

This is great.

Is there an archive of these anywhere?

It's leissure reading and he can laugh at the bootleg shit.

I found those three but where's the invisible girl?! I can't destroy the fantastic four if there's only three of them? IS she there? This villainy is hard!

I usually do it around 4-5 pst but today I'm running later than normal. Every sat

It was anime meat.

I'll just change the channel...

I have the posts capped but I need to shoop most of them together.

She's at science hall! What's she doing over there? Oh yes! It's the last place I would expect to find a woman! The perfect hiding spot! I have you now!

I'll just lower that city block too! I'll have all those nerds to myself too!

>bootleg calculus
My interest is peaked.

Peeeeeerfect.

>I have the posts capped but I need to shoop most of them together.
Hope you get around to it someday, absolutely love these.

Greetings! Scientists! I am a moleman working for THE Moleman! Good moleman to you! You are all prisoner and don't try to escape. My boss will come chat with you and tell you what he wants later so sit tight, ok?

Ugh.

I'M STILL ON VACATION AND MOLEMAN PULLS THIS SHIT. CAN'T I JUST HAVE ONE WEEK WHERE SOME CREEP IN A CAPE AND COSTUME TRIES TO KIDNAP AND HOLD ME HOSTAGE OR TRIES TO DESTROY MY HOUSE. I DESERVE NICE THINGS BUT THIS MOLE FUCKER DOESN'T KNOW WHEN TO QUIT.

FUCK IT. I'M STILL ON VACATION. I'M OUTTA THIS EPISODE. I AM LEAVING.

Sue: H-hey! Let me go!

Moleman: Mrs. Richards! trying to flee I see! But what you failed to remember is that we mole-people have radar sense vision! Now we have you hostage!

Sue: *sigh*

Thing: So Reed is ya know what caused those two earthquakes you gotta spill! I'm dying to know! And if you don't know it's ok! Nobody's perfect!

Reed: GIVE ME A MINUTE, I SAID GIVE ME A MINUTE. I HAVE IT JUST LET ME WORK.

Wait, moleman is a moleman? I was under the impression he was a regular man that is using molemen to further his ambitions.

Reed: I just have to do more calculations... just a few more!

Thing: That's a compass, stretcho. You ain't calculating nothing with that.

BREAKING NEWS. SCIENCE HALL HAS SUNKEN UNDERGROUND WITH MOST OF NEW YORK'S REPUTABLE SCIENTISTS TAKEN WITH IT. AMONG THE MISSING IS REPORTED TO BE SUE RICHARDS OF THE FANTASTIC FOUR.

WE WOULD ASK A SCIENTIST TO EXPLAIN THIS PHENOMENON BUT THEY ARE ALL UNDERGROUND. MORE AT 11.

Sue? There? What's a girl like her doing at science hall? It makes no sense!

Mr. Fantastic! I have your wife and all the leading, legitimate scientists in New York hostage! If you don't want me to harm a hair on her pretty little apathetic head you won't try and wreck my plans for world domination!

Reed! What'll we do?!

WE'RE GOING TO GO GET HER THAT'S WHAT. THAT'S WHAT WE ALWAYS DO. EVERY SINGLE TIME. Those scientists down there can save themselves for all I care.

The Moleman would never keep his word! He was my prime suspect by the way. Not Dr. Doom or Molecule Man. Definitely Mole Man. Let's get to the pogo plane at once!

BLAST OFF NEXT STOP. THE HOLE.

Reed: Ease us down nice a and gentle, Ben. You gotta keep us in reverse and straight.

Reed: Look sharp, he could be coming after us any minute now.

Thing: IF ONLY I, THE PILOT, COULD SEE WHERE I WAS GOING.

>Ease us down nice a and gentle, Ben. You gotta keep us in reverse and straight.
Fucking hell

PEN TOOL DEPLOY!

I got it I got it

All clear guys! We can go down to the next deathtrap any time!

In all my overconfidence I forgot that the Fantastic Four uses fire! Of all the oversights! Next I'll use my atomic turbine downdraft blowers! They'll never keep that jet upright!

Thing: HOLD ON EVERYONE. POWERFUL EARTH WINDS.

Thing: I pulled a perfect Launchpad McQuack!

Reed: Well... any landing you can walk away from...

Moleman: Ah so you've arrived! Watch your step! I wouldn't want you all hurting yourselves on the way down! You see, the genius of having a big hole in the ground is that I know where you'll be coming from!

Thing: Let's rush him! He can't kill us all!

Reed: I think up the plans, here, you wait for MY order to rush them.

KILL HIM. If I have to bear his clammy hand grabbing my arms a moment longer I might just grab the gun and blow my brains out.

Don't worry Sue. Someone will put a stop to Moleman. If not us then someone else! Like Power Pack or Luke Cage or Jessica Jones or Speedball...

No they won't try and stop me! Because you will go back up and tell them not to hassle me! Right NOW the national guard is up there on the surface about to wage war on me. You're going to go up and tell them that Moleman lives matter and not attack! And no one else either! Jimmy, hit the vacuum machine. Suck and pump these guys back up.

Sure thing boss! I love this job! I love arm day!

AHHHHHHHHHH

Bye Reed, Thing, Bro. See ya around? Could you bring me back a cup of coffee on the way back if you have time?

Up I go! And without a parachute!

Luckily for me, I fly! Wow. That's a lot of tanks and guns!

Johnny: They're ready to move out! What do we do?

Reed: First we find the asshole in charge of this outfit.

Yes, I'm the asshole in charge of this unit. Can I help you?

Reed: Moleman's down there and he has Sue and scientists. He told me to tell you to stop the attack I want you to hold off for 24 hours so that we the fant-

General: The attack starts in one minute

Reed: STOP IT. CALL IT OFF.

General: I already gave the order to attack! I can't rescind it just like that! These things take time! No one can stop it.

Reed: WE CAN, GENERAL, WE CAN.

LET'S POINT DAT MISSILE SOMEPLACE ELSE, OK

That's some nice firepower you have there but how do you like THIS firepower?

Helicopter pilots, you are both suspended.

We're too old for this shit.

FOR MY NEXT TRICK I WILL MAKE A POODLE

Fantastic Four! We surrender! We unconditionally surrender! What do you want from us?!

Nothing, General, Just sit and twiddle your thumbs.

JOHNNY, THING, WE NEED TO GO BACK HOME AND GET SOME STUFF ON THE DOUBLE.

Reed: I hope my calculations are correct. There's no time for tests!

Johnny: I have no idea what you're doing. Why don't we take the other plane and GIT'EM

Reed: He'll be expecting us! But he won't expect me to use this thing and blunder my way down there! This should help us find Moleman.

Hurry up you two! I got the hovercycle parked outside and I don't want it getting ticketed or towed!

Johnny: Is ... it working? Whatever that is?

Reed: YES. Now to plot the angle and compensate... due North and 165. That's our way! You got that Johnny?

Hey Reed! If I look through this I get to see weird and colorful shapes!

LET'S GET THIS SHOW ON THE ROAD. WE'RE OBSTRUCTING TRAFFIC.

Reed: Johnny! Just torch a hole in the ground over there. We'll hover on down after ya.

Always talking down to me... well try to keep up old man.

After me! Watch the sides, they're molten hot.

Thing: Think you're too hard on the kid?

Reed: No.

Thing: Yeah me, neither.

Right, so, my men have decided that you probably have cooties and we held a vote and we decided to hold you in a rock crystal cave until I conquer the world. Should be a day or two.