DARK TOWER RT THREAD
It's a disaster
>For a movie based on a beloved book series, the writing is sometimes shockingly bad.
>At a mere ninety minutes, it feels like one of those YouTube fan edits of an entire series.
>The Dark Tower is a thoroughly average take on some truly incredible source material.
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>truly incredible source material
lmao black leads btfo fuck diversity fuck affirmative action
liberals btfo lmao
we did it MAGA
>For a movie based on a beloved book series, the writing is sometimes shockingly bad.
Did they not read the source?
Can someone please explain me which of the books did they try to put in this film? I mean, no Eddy, no Susanna, but Dark Tower already shown and kinda breaking, so i couldn't understand shit from the trailers.
Why are you getting assblasted ahead of time?
>The dark tower
>Stars a black man
What did they mean by this?
Supposedly, its a mixture of the first five books that is also both a prequel and a sequel. I can't imagine what could go wrong with that.
>getting assblasted
what? I'm celebrating. We've won. The Dark Tower is a bomb. We're Making Movies Great Again. We're winning so hard. We're winning so big. You've never seen winning like this before.
All of the reviews say Idris Elba is the only good thing about it
It's mostly Gunslinger with elements of others sprinkled in. Eddie and Susannah would have been in the sequel had this not been such a colossal fuck up.
Shame, just started on the books and they're pretty great.
Honestly tried to picture Roland in my head as Elba as I read, and it works for some of it, but it mentions his complexion a fucking lot.
only because they don't want to be vilified as racists. lmao learn how to read between the lines. What movies with terrific lead characters have you seen that have been shit? Don't fall for fake news.
You're assblasted about the election and about casual racism and you aren't hiding it at all
>assblasted about winning
uh???
you can almost smell the tears
tears of joy
The consensus seems to be that all the right elements for a good movie are there, but the end result is just a mess of interesting ideas that never manages to take shape
which basically means studios meddled up the ass because they know what the masses want
You're being obviously sarcastic
>Can someone please explain me which of the books did they try to put in this film?
They kept in Steven King's shameless moneygrubbing and poor writing, mostly.
...
You shouldn't have said no, Stephen.
Another terrible movie made by Sony Pictures. Who could have guessed? Probably tries to estabilish a cinematic universe.
Sony once again proving their movies executives know how to do things better than anyone else. Those things being waste ideas and loose record amounts of money.
I wonder how Sup Forums would have taken to the Dark Tower movie if the lead wasn't black?
They put that shit in a blender and hope it stuck to the wall lmao
>21% on RT
WEW
they would shit on the movie for the giant turd it is rather then blame it on the miscasting of a decent actor
I know I'd still hate it because it's trying to cram an entire series of books into one movie.
Pleb filter
... The movie has been in development for over 10 years now, that's never a good sign
Steven King Cinematic Universe btfo.
Off to about as a good a start as the Universal Monsters universe.
Well, at least this Dark Tower is truly dark. You can't go darker than Idris Elba.
>The consensus seems to be that all the right elements for a good movie are there, but the end result is just a mess of interesting ideas that never manages to take shape
And don't they plan to make 4 films out of this? That's probably what is wrong here, they were counting on a cinematic universe, without bothering to make sure the first film is comprehensible.
The funny part being this was the easiest cinematic universe to start because it would've connected a bunch of already good movies that exist. Sony fucked up a sure thing.
It seems like Jake's story is a mishmash of Gunslinger and Wasteland, and then they just skip to bullet points from the last book, with the Breakers and all that.
>Sony
Well that explains everything
It's okay, IT will save King adaptions.
The running time was a dead giveaway that it's a shameless quick shitty cashgrab made out of desperation.
Elba and McConagay probably knew what they were going into, it's Sony after all, but they also knew they won't be blamed if it sucks, but get millions of dollars.
i actually feel like the reason they put in elba instead of an actual white actor to fit the books is because everyone knew what a piece of shit it was so they can deflect and cry racism when it does poorly
That was probably one of the reasons, those kind of tactics are not new to Sony, they did it with Ghostbusters.
RUH ROH
Thats the Sony way, cry foul at some kind of ism or phobia to cover for the fact that they consistently make shit
If Katheryn Winnick had gotten her tits out it would have been a 10/10
Will Smith and Margot Robbie were bretty good in Suicide Squad
>mixture of the first five books
>also both a prequel and a sequel
>90 minutes
Jesus christ how did anyone expect this to work?
>18%
WEW LAD
Youre like 15 you didnt even fucking vote
I've legit never heard of this movie until this thread.
"It sucked."
-the one positive review
I know you're shitting, but Affirmative Action IS shit. It's abused by idiots to hire people based on how dark their skin is, in a form of reverse racism - instead of hiring people based on their actual qualifications. If you want to "fix" the sad amount of minorities who are able to take jobs, then you need to address the root issue instead of trying to bandage and ignore it.
>mixture of the first five books
>90 minutes
Jesus.
NAME ONE GOOD STEPHEN KING THEATRICALLY RELEASED ADAPTATION
Is this film about the first book, or the whole series?
Carrie. The Dead Zone. Misery. The Green Mile. The Shawshank Redemption.
That's five.
The Mist
Shawkshank Redemption
Pet Semetary (not great, but ok)
It's the first five books AND it takes place after the end of book 7.
90 minutes. PG-13
>NAME ONE GOOD STEPHEN KING THEATRICALLY RELEASED ADAPTATION
Carrie
Shawshank
Christine
Stand By Me
I'll add Christine, Apt Pupil, Stand By Me.
Also Stand By Me.
>The Shawshank Redemption
>Stand By Me
>The Green Mile
It's weird how these are King movies. I don't get why he writers so many shitty books. he doesn't need the money.
It's like if you found out your favorite smutty greentext writer was a famous author.
>Sup Forumspol/ hates idris alba now
Since when?
He's usually the only good thing about most of the SHIT movies he's in
He cranks out every plot that comes to mind, good or bad. After all, somebody'll like it.
For what I can tell they can't handle the fact it's a shit movie on its own merits, so they're going to scapegoat him instead
He's only been in shit movies lately. Fuck him.
You know what? I'm pretty sure they switched the races of Roland and Suzanna for a very specific reason.
In the book, Suzanna is a bitter old black woman who comes to realize most of her bitterness is silly because most white people aren't the pieces of subhuman hateful shit that she thinks. That is not the type of commentary on racism that the cinema currently favors.
The US film industry wants to make it out like anyone brown has every right to be furious but if white people have the smallest inkling of racial solidarity, they're no better than Hitler.
So they'll have Suzanna be white and Roland be black. Suzanna will hate Roland because she's not a big fan of black people but she will learn her racism is silly and unnecessary because black people are great....
The Green Mile is a good book. Wtf?
>I don't get why he writers so many shitty books
Have you honestly never had a hobby user? Especially one where plebs will throw money at you for it?
>In the book, Suzanna is a bitter old black woman who comes to realize most of her bitterness is silly because most white people aren't the pieces of subhuman hateful shit that she thinks. That is not the type of commentary on racism that the cinema currently favors.
Reminds me of Sam Jackson's characters in Die Hard 3 and Amos & Andrew. Movies like that won't happen these days.
>The dark tower
>shows a white tower on the poster
...
Good. Unnecessary race-swapping needs to stop.
>beloved book series
yeah, no, nobody cares about it
"Intended to launch a film and television franchise, the first installment combines elements from several novels in the eight-volume series, taking place in both modern-day New York City and in Mid-World, Roland's Old West-style parallel universe. Arcel has said that fans will know the film is a sequel to the books' events."
>8 BOOKS IN 88 MINUTES
>88 MINUTES
>NOT EVEN 1.5 HRS
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAHHAAHAHAAHAAAAAAAAAAAAHAAH
>the DARK tower
>starring a nignog
really makes you think
>people surprised by this
Name one decent Steven King novel adaptation
when the fuck will she get them out? all i have is that blurry nip slip from instagram
see
...
The Shining.
Nostalgia lensed glasses. Its really not good
>90 fucking minutes
People need to be fired for htis
Misery
The Green Mile
Carrie
The Shawshank Redemption
Stand By Me
The Dead Zone
Gee whiz, I can't imagine why a PG-13 Dark Tower movie would be such a disaster!
As if that's really the summation of all the problems with this dead on arrival abortion
Honestly it is. If you're making a Dark Tower movie with a mindset of having it be PG-13 you've already fucked up beyond belief.
It doesn't hurt. The first thing we see Roland do in the books is mow down an entire village, kids and all, before shoving one of his guns up a crazy fat woman's cunt.
thinner
>truly incredible source material.
Wat. Is the world building Godly or something? Cuz King's prose has always been shit from what I've seen.
huh, maybe casting him as black was the right choice after all
Fuck off, it's one of the best horror films ever made.
Well, I think the real mistake is they had a goofy idea for a sci fi screenplay involving multiple worlds and a gunslinger like hero.... then they bought the rights to the Dark Tower and shoehorned in a script that was originally NOT intended to be the Dark Tower.
So since it wasn't any real adaptation of the original works, they declared it a sequel to the books.
Every time Hollywood has done this, they had a script floating around the studios, they bought the rights to an intellectual property, and shoehorned the characters from said property into it; it fails dramatically. The Super Mario Brothers movie and Max Payne movie are great examples of this.
This is the same thing yet again, I'm pretty sure. When they pull this stunt it shows little resemblance to the source material and keeps neither the flavor, the tone, or even a semblance of the original characters or universe. It shows the most disrespect to the source material possible.
kek
B-but he had nothing to do with this movie being shit.
Fucking retards
t. Sup Forums
Seems like its more his agents fault than his own desu chan
While you're not wrong, that was not the case with this movie in particular.
I don't get why they fucked this up like this. The problem with most adaptations is that they try to make a film out of material that's either to sparse to turn into a film or just plain difficult to adapt to screen. This series already had a shitton of books and from what I know, the first one, Gunslinger, wouldn't have been all that expensive to film if they'd done it right. Why not actually build a cinematic brand by making a cheap and accurate adaptation of the first book. It's the most low-risk high-reward scenario you could expect from a property you're looking to adapt, Hollywood fuckery notwithstanding.
World building is literally all King is good at. I read Salem's Lot when I was a teenager and found it reasonably effective because King invests so much time in building up the town and its inhabitants in the reader's imagination. Taken in isolation the vampire element of that novel is laughably bad.
You have a shit agent you fire him and find another one.
He actually praises the fact that this decidedly non-experimental non-fringe film has no emotional resonance. In other words he's praising it for being similar to Transformers.