All the shit about Ghostbusters and Spiderman remakes never really got to me because I didn't see Ghostbusters as a kid, and I was raised on Tobey Maguire. But I know, someday, people are going to remake Lord of the Rings and it won't be Peter Jackson. And it fills me with dread in a way I've never known before.
> Frodo and Sam are recast as mixed-race and have an overt romantic development > Merry and Pippin are gay/trans because being male isn't a defining characteristic for them. > Aragorn is recast as a strong woman > All the Elves are black now > The Wizard colours are a bit racist, now they are defined by gender > Overt references to the ring being capitalistic > Ridiculous over-use of CGI
I don't know, tolkienfas are pretty autistic. If they pulled that then someone in Hollywood might get shot.
Nathan White
It will not be for a while. The hobbit films should show you what the hollywood of today wants in middle earth. youtube.com/watch?v=pjAAC13al9s
Jace Allen
Weren't there some black and Asian townsfolk in the hobbit part two movie? I swear when that fat mayor of river town or whatever that faggot city was called was talking, the crowd looked pretty diverse to me.
Thomas Wilson
Saruman will have hitler hair and moustache gandalf will be hispanic or mudslime ents all get jewish accents dwarves are all played by acual midgets with no fake beards or cosmetics. They prefer to be called little people
Aaron Butler
those movies will never be remade
Jacob Hernandez
can confirm
Nathaniel Lopez
Even if they were I don't think they would be successful.
Joseph Clark
One black women, one black dude and i think one poo in loo. They were on screen for like 5 minutes then never seen again.
I think their face was covered up by hoods too so it's pretty funny someone found them and sperg'd out.
Isaac Butler
Can't wait to see furry Sauron being in a polygamy relationship with wolfkin Balrog
Carson Green
>dark-skinned Elves >female Orcs
Caleb Lewis
The only good Lord of the Rings movie is the first one. The 2nd and the 3rd were confused CGI shitfests.
Ethan Butler
The story would be too difficult to twist to fit the modern (((narrative))).
Evan Roberts
>Instead of fighting the orcs, they get let in by leftist elves and hobbits and shit. These orcs are persecuted by Sauron, let them in #NOT ALL ORCS.
Ryan Jackson
There are female orcs though.
Carson Brooks
The third one was the best, in my opinion. The second was a bit dull, and the first one was too much setup for the rest of the story.
the thing that makes me chuckle the most is, that Tolkien was the most christian author you can imagine.
(the Orcs and Urukhai represent Muslims)
well moor is also german for mire, something something swamp-people
Liam Lewis
>I'LL BE DEAD BEFORE I TRUST THE RING IN THE HANDS OF AN ELF >Please mind your micro aggressions Gimlli son of Gloin.
Kayden Foster
Hol up, hol up.
You be sayin' that this don't be a picture of medieval Europe?
Justin James
Putting sexual roles on the Lotr characters would be stupid and I would hate it because it isn't remotely relevant to the story or the characters themselves, they would destroy Lotr and transform it into a comedy/fantasy shit because "muh sexual expersion and orientation is important and relevant" I really don't know why fags want to show themselves so much, no one cares
Asher Green
Moors aren't Negroid! They are North African Caucasians! Like the Egyptians. But as evidenced by WE WUZ KANGZ, African-Americans seem convinced that the entirety of Africa is Negroid.
Jose Clark
>the Orcs and Urukhai represent Muslims No they are pretty clearly degenerated men and elves through industrial warfare. There are tons of Christian things in Lotr but nothing directly about Muslims
Nathaniel Miller
They are descended from the Gothic tribes that settled North Africa and the rape babies that were a result of the muslim steamroller that destroyed civilization on the southern coast of the Med.
Thomas Sanchez
like every other remake, it'll pass like a fart in the wind.
Christian Cox
lotr is overrated. I get the popularity but not the praise
Nathaniel White
I thought it was pretty good. It beats 9/10ths of the movies around these days. The Hobbit trilogy was a steaming pile of shit though.
Nathaniel Foster
>It beats 9/10ths of the movies around these day you could film yourself taking a shit and it would be better than most movies ever made
Michael Morris
Same
Christian Jones
...
Ian Nguyen
LOTR won't get remade. There's a hold on it for 90 years, thanks (seriously, thanks) to his kids.
Easton Taylor
...
Evan Allen
Fuck off neckbeard, nobody cares about your faggot autism films.
Justin Taylor
No, no there aren't the orcs are called maggotfolk for a reason. They breed asexually through magic or some shit it'snever clearly defined.
Ayden Phillips
what movies would deserve the praise lotr gets then?
Jace Long
As for any inner meaning or 'message', it has in the intention of the author none. It is neither allegorical nor topical. As the story grew it put down roots (into the past) and threw out unexpected branches: but its main theme was settled from the outset by the inevitable choice of the Ring as the link between it and The Hobbit. The crucial chapter, "The Shadow of the Past', is one of the oldest parts of the tale. It was written long before the foreshadow of 1939 had yet become a threat of inevitable disaster, and from that point the story would have developed along essentially the same lines, if that disaster had been averted. Its sources are things long before in mind, or in some cases already written, and little or nothing in the war that began in 1939 or its sequels modified it.
Connor Carter
The real war does not resemble the legendary war in its process or its conclusion. If it had inspired or directed the development of the legend, then certainly the Ring would have been seized and used against Sauron; he would not have been annihilated but enslaved, and Barad-dûr would not have been destroyed but occupied. Saruman, failing to get possession of the Ring, would in the confusion and treacheries of the time have found in Mordor the missing links in his own researches into Ring-lore, and before long he would have made a Great Ring of his own with which to challenge the self-styled Ruler of Middle-earth. In that conflict both sides would have held hobbits in hatred and contempt: they would not long have survived even as slaves.
Evan Long
Police Academy
Julian Miller
The naked gun series.
Justin Gomez
Robin Hood Men in Tights
Oliver Wilson
fanedit.info/files/spence_hobbit.rar Link to a recut that makes them better. Shortens them into a ~4 hour film. Cuts as much added bullshit as possible. Much closer to the books. No bullshit elf/dwarf love crap, azog just becomes a mean orc... etc etc.
Carson Lewis
If you haven watched the movies in a long time, do yourself a favor and watch the Two Towers and try to imagine it was written during the current European refugee crisis.
Eli Russell
ayyy
Nicholas Scott
thanks senpai
nice digits too
Landon Thompson
More like you were raised INSIDE Tobey Maguire, faggot
Dominic Ward
You need jDownloader to get it if you don't have it already. Info in a readme in there.
Benjamin Richardson
I can confirm this.
We got butthurt over one black woman being in Lake Town.
Jack Barnes
This actually hurt my heart. I consider lord of the rings the best made movies ever
Gabriel Wright
A significant proportion of Tolkien fans already hated the Jackson version.
No direct analogues, because Tolkien wasn't big on heavy-handed analogy (unlike C.S. Lewis). However, the Southrons are pretty obviously a mash-up of the Moors and the Carthaginians, and the Corsairs of Umbar are pretty much a stand-in for the Barbary pirates.
That only affects the Silmarilion and other material that didn't make it into The Hobbit or TLOTR.
JRRT sold the movie rights to the two latter in the '60s, but Christopher and the estate control the posthumously-published works, and they won't make the rights avialable because Christopher doesn't think it's possible to do them justice in a cinematic format.
That said, Time Warner probably won't let anyone remake TLOTR or The Hobbit until they've finished milking the Jackson films.
Benjamin Reyes
If they remake this I can guarantee the only White male will be Sauron. >Gandalf the gray will be Gandalf the gay, and will die fighting the balrog only to return as Gandalf the many-colored (rainbow cloak). >Frodo and Sam will have anal intercourse on screen in a fifteen minute long scene. >The Rohirrim will be furries that are anthropomorphic horses. >Arwen will be obese. >Eowyn will be a muslim quadriplegic. >Everyone else will be some form of minority, and any of the bitter resentment elves/dwarfs/men had from past wars or happenings will never be mentioned because everyone coexists peacefully except ebil whyte Sauron. wfw this all happens
Jose Rodriguez
Shekels > integrity, goy
Nathan Perry
>That only affects the Silmarilion and other material that didn't make it into The Hobbit or TLOTR. Damn. I'm not about to look into it, but I believe you.
Still. I don't think it'll be done any time soon because it's too highly regarded as-is. If they make anyone gay it'll just be Frodo and Sam.
Brandon Foster
I don't really care for movies, but LoTR Jackson version are a masterpiece. I can't believe how much heart and soul went into them. Just watch all the behind the scenes stuff, it's absolutely amazing. So yes them being remade would be unacceptable. If they want to touch up a couple of CGI effects that look like shit [troll monster in first movie], then fine. But otherwise you cannot improve it, only ruin it. Hell even The Hobbit movies are half great, and half shit. That's what happens when you force yourself to make something, though Jackson probably did a better job on them then some other producer would have.
Christopher Nguyen
TDKR
Colton King
>A significant proportion of Tolkien fans already hated the Jackson version. Only the top of the autism pyramid, hardly significant. I honestly don't get it. A lot of the books' content was skipped, sure, but the movies also contains a ton of "fanservice" like little details that only make sense to the people that read the books, like the Púkel-men statue in the third movie. To secondaries it's only a spooky statue to punctuate a spooky moment, but to those that read the books it's a hint at all the lore that lies behind it. I'd rather have this unfaithful adaptation than a 100% accurate adaptation of the books, because I have already read the books.
>because Christopher doesn't think it's possible to do them justice in a cinematic format. He's right, even if he's a bit of a faggot for hating Jackson's LOTR at the same time.
Bentley Cox
>Púkel-men I always got the impression that they were supposed to be black, but then I reread it and it's not really said...
Brandon Kelly
jews could have made more money if they promoted right wing populism in their films but they chose to push degeneracy because it's in their nature.
John Ramirez
>implying Christopher Tolkien would let such things happen
It took Peter Jackson like 5 years to convince him to make the LOTR movies. Christopher Tolkien is defensive as fuck over his dad's work(and rightly so).
Jaxson Hughes
We all know who the bad guy would be in the SJW version
Michael Lopez
all artwork in itself is liberal degeneracy as it represents the inneficiencies and effeminity of our culture.
Austin Williams
LoTR is boring compared to the original Star Wars trilogy.
Michael Rivera
>I'd rather have this unfaithful adaptation than a 100% accurate adaptation of the books, because I have already read the books.
I agree with your point to an extent, but when you start creating characters out of thin-air as a nonsensical love-interest(elves and dwarves? really?) for marketing purposes is when the line has been crossed in my mind.
Brandon Powell
My whole post was only about the LOTR trilogy, sorry if it wasn't clear. The Hobbit was hot boring garbage. The first movie contains either SO EPIC LMAO scenes that don't fit the original tale for children atmosphere at all or 1:1 copies of the book's scenes that are shit because I have already read the book many times.
Justin White
It wasn't the fact they made a new she-elf character that annoyed me. What annoyed me was the love triangle bullshit that went against everything established in the lore. Plus it weakens the impact of Legolas and Gimli becoming friends (two races that hate each other).
Jose Gomez
NOOO NOOO NOOOO don't you fucking even post about this.
Brandon Wright
The Hobbit didn't seem to know what it was supposed to be. It was childish in one scene (the Hobbit was a kid's book after all) and forcefully gloomy/epic the next. The CGI is what pissed me off the most. LOTR won awards for the effort they put into costumes and make-up and then they throw that all away and make Azog (who's supposed to be dead ffs) look like a PlayStation character. The Hobbit was Peter Jackson doing a George Lucas. REEEEEEEE
Colton Hall
To be fair it's not entirely Jackson's fault. It took years for the project to be greenlit and once he obtained the ok he had a ridiculously short amount of time to rewrite Del Faggotto's script, do the pre-production and shoot 3 movies instead of 2.
Jace Wilson
kek, never ever was there a nigger emperor of rome..
Christian Long
Why would they remake Lotr? It's only be 11 years
Daniel Barnes
To be fair, Jackson wasn't originally the one in charge, he took over for Del Torro and didn't have near the amount of time to craft the hobbit movies like he did with LOTR. For LOTR he had 4 years of pre-production time. He had almost none for the Hobbit(he had just finished another movie mere weeks before starting work on the Hobbit)
Don't blame Jackson. Blame the studios and deadlines.
Ethan Powell
Azog looked way better than a PS character, but truly photoreal CG needs to be reigned in with practical effects, and they didn't do that at all. The face and the arm could've been cg, but the rest should've been been practical. Big guy, and makeup/suit.
Where the wild things are did it perfectly.
Some of the issue for Jackson ended up being that he wanted to do it in 3D. A lot of the practical effects (force perspective for sets and scaling hobbits) can't be done in 3D, so they had to do it all in CGI. And it ended up fucking the whole thing up for no damn reason. And the rest was him just being a retard. "gollum looked good, lets do everything that way!"
Fuggin idjit.
Gavin Cooper
Spiderman was released in 2002 with Tobey, 2012 with Garfield and now again with the new one.
John Phillips
Because it will make money.
John Nelson
Prosthetics will always beat CGI. No matter how good it gets the human eye will always be able to tell. Admit it, Azog looks like he belongs in a PS1 cutscene.
Juan Miller
The Hobbit was shit because of that faggot that played Bilbo
Bentley Reyes
The fan edits that remove the filler scenes are more watchable. It's obviously still not as good as lotr, but it makes for a reasonably good adaption.
Colton Taylor
i volunteer
Xavier Allen
holy shit I just see it properly, thanks. I miss the golden age of cinema, where the story counted, the journey that you live through with the actors, not the fancy-pantsy CGI, and most of all, I miss movies not being PC.
I could choke anyone who makes a character black just because they need a minority, and has no other function.
Also worth noting that Laketown(Esgaroth on the map) is located a considerable distance to the east. Also, there are no major geographical barriers between lake town and the eastern lands. It is not unreasonable to think that a few dark skins would have ended up there.
Jackson Hall
> "All you have to decide, is what to do with the time that is given to you" < Go on Sup Forums
Benjamin Stewart
>man known for cucking King fucking Arthur is casted as black
Noah Miller
this... the Tolkien fans went fucking apeshit on the Hobbit movies because of how much they shat on the books... if you went back and multiculturalized the shit out of the LOTR trilogy you'd have New Line execs getting publicly executed
Lincoln Walker
If things keep going the way they are, the remake will be announced in the next two years.
didnt they completely butcher game of thrones for the sake of 'gurl powerrr' this year? I don't watch the show, but thats what I heard from Sup Forums
Brody Reed
The movie people went on and on about how Smaug was made to be a 'multicultural' dragon after they were given shit about how there were too many white people in middle earth (which is a country in the stories not the entire planet- the brown and black people come from their own countries in the east which is completely fucking logical).
What they should have done was laughed at the crazies and not given in on their casting. You cannot placate someone who's job is to be offended by everything, so why try?
Ethan Torres
As much as I want a proper Dune movie, you simply couldn't do it justice in this political climate. Central themes would be turned on their heads for no reason.
