Fantastic Four Storytime episode #14

Reed: Thing, why did you call us out here all the way to Yancy Street?

Johnny: Something about a gang fight challenge but I'm not clear on the details.

I think we should have ignored it! Ben's the only one who likes street brawls!

Reed: This IS beneath our notice. If nothing interesting happens then I'm heading home.

HEY! WHO THREW THAT LETTUCE

Thing: That count as somethin' interestin'?

NO ONE THROWS VEGETABLES AT THE TORCH AND LIVES TO BRAG ABOUT IT. FLAME ON

Hey! Hot stuff! Come over here!

Serves ya right for peeping!

Reed: Johnny! You're making us look really bad out here! How are we supposed to get picked up for a new comic run if word gets out about this?

YANCY STREEEEET GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANG

Dear Sup Forums, a gift from /trash/

I FEEL CLOSED IN AND IN THE DARK

And I got a trash can stuck on my head

Reed: Huh. Those didn't sound like things people from Yancy Street would say.

IMMA KEEP RUNNING TILL I SACK SOMEBODY

There's somebody! I won't have to pull any punches with HIM!

RAAAAAAAAAA

THING DON'T DISCRIMINATE WHO HE CLOBBERS.

Watch it Ben, that's not one of the urban youth! That's a full grown gorilla!

Thing: A Gorilla? Here? He looks tough! I don't know if I can take him maybe if give him a tie and a banana he'll leave...

I GOT EM. Gorillas have a hard time resisting free hugs

Look out! There's another one! And he's not as ape-pealing!

wubwubwubwubwub

He's using the power of magnetism to throw an assortment of dangerous things our way! Take cover!

wubwubwubwubwubwub

No one makes a monkey out of my sister! I have your back, Sue!

keh heh heh

...

Johnny: Oh no! An asbestos bag?! Help! Help! I'll sue! Just you wait!

SOMEONE'S SHOOTING LASER BEAMS AT ME. RUDE.

Warn me next time! It's part of the rules we have to have cornball banter back and forth. I don't have health insurance neither so watch where ya shoot!

Ok! Now you can pew pew to your little heart's content!

*click*

He's out of laser gun ammo! Now he'll be on the receiving end of some monkey business!

That's enough out of you for today!

what

Either the drugs are hitting early or that little guy turned into a bunch of bricks

Too bad I can clobber bricks just as easily as anything else!

I won't be able to hold this gorilla much longer! He's severely russled!

Sue: My invisible forcefield! It's the only way to save Reed! Hold on Reed!

BAM BAM BAM

Sue: Oh dear. I always get myself in this situation. He's too strong! I can't hold it!

He's not even our main enemy. Don't you recognize those apes? We've seen them all before! Now where is their master! Kragoff?

A little respect? I'm the Red Ghost now. Remember me? Remember what you did to me only for me to escape your cruel machinations?

Reed: Did I smother him until the vibranium knuckles did him in? No wait that was Klaw.

Sue: Did I wreck his doomsday machine? No... that was Moleman.

Thing: Did I break all his toys? No wait that was the US armed forces. I give! What did we do to ya?

The moon! You marooned me on the moon! Then I came here to get my revenge on you! Mostly against you, Mr. Fantastic, but there's more than enough revenge to go around!

Now surrender all of you before I pop a laser cap in your wriggling teammate's rump!

No! Not Johnny! My birthday's coming up and I'm counting on bookoo presents!

No one harasses and bullies my little buddy but me! I won't let any harm come to him!

We surrender. At the very least I would enjoy seeing how elaborate and convoluted your revenge and execution scheme is!

A wise decision! Of course if you were wise you'd have stayed home and realized that the Yancy Street Gang never sent you any challenge, I did. The Yancy boys are practically illiterate! But you fell for my trap hook line and sinker!

Now! My ape! Summon me a rocket ship so we can go on to phase 2!

That'll do!

Red Ghost: Now! Get on the ship! You're embarking on a journey! A journey from which you will never return! Because it's a one-way trip! Because you'll die after I kill you dead!

Reed: Kragoff you've been giggling the whole time. WHERE ARE WE GOING?

Boom! Pow! Straight to the moon! I will get my revenge there after I crown myself MOON KING

Reed: Very well! But be warned! When we get to the moon there's going to be trouble between us! It'll be open warfare!

HRMPH. He always has to try to ruin the moment. Easy Red Ghost, you have him right where you want him. Don't let him get to you. Mr. Fantastic will get his soon enough.

You're going to regret leaving me on the moon! Maybe I should leave you on the moon and see how you like it!

Red Ghost: Hold up my ape's pointing at something. I'll be back to gloat some more in a bit.

A meteor shower! Perhaps taking the scenic route to the moon was a poor idea. The ship will be destroyed if one of the big one hits us! Ape! Get me the Invisible girl! Red Alert and we we need shields up

Johnny: He's freeing Sue! For WHAT?

Reed: I intend to find out. Go with him Sue and play along!

Don't tell me what to do, dear, I'm already doing it!

Bump

Our Red Ghost friend is one beaker short of a chemistry set. He forgot I have stretchy elastic powers! Now to see what's going.


And we're heading straight for page 10 and autosaging unless we get some bumps.

Get em Reed! Show him what a slender man can do!

Thanks a bunch. Enjoying the show?

Red Ghost: I want you to protect the ship with an invisible forcefield or we are all going to die! Can you do it, Mrs. Richards?

ARE YOU INSANE? YOU WANT TO RELY ON MY WIFE TO SAVE US ALL? HAVE YOU SEEN HOW LITTLE STAMINA SHE HAS? ONCE I SAW HER PASS OUT TRYING TO GET A SMALL YAPPY DOG TO STOP JUMPING ON HER WITH A FORCEFIELD. THE INVISIBLE GIRL IS THE LEAST RELIABLE PERSON ON THE TEAM AND YOU WANT TO PUT OUR LIVES IN THE HANDS OF THE TOKEN FEMALE?

I have a real plan! One that will actually work!

Yep I'm loving it

Sue: We work pretty well together! After we get out of this how about you and me pitch a cop show idea about a progressive lady cop and her wisecracking ape hitting the streets of Dallas, Texas?

Red Ghost: Hmmmm. Combining magnetism and invisible forcefields seems to be keeping the asteroids away.

Reed: Of course it's working. It's my idea, not one of yours. BUT once we're done here ... HERE COMES TROUBLE.

Red Ghost: Stop saying that!

Red Ghost: Ahhh we're clear of the space rocks. And look! The moon! The moon is near!

Reed: Correction: My FIST is near.

Thing and Johnny: IT'S CLOBBERING TIME

You're going on timeout, friend.

We've seen how strong the gorilla is... now let's see how well he dances!

You think you're so smart! Well you forgot my power of you not being able to touch me! You won't be able to manhandle me now!

Drat! He went right through the wall! I was going to turn myself into a noose!

Stop squirming! Someone got me a box I can put this guy in?!

This magic act is gettin' old. A spikey ball? Ey! Torchy! Lend me a hand and burn this thing till he stops moving!

I thought you would never ask!

Thing: A trapdoor! On a SPACESHIP?! He's gettin' away!

They all got away! You let them all get away!

Kek

Red Ghost: yes! You see, I had expected you and your team to kick my team's butt and so I planned on just that! Now you see, I'm going to eject your part of the ship and leave you marooned on the moon! See! Knowing I was going to lose and be humiliated after having you at my mercy and planning around it makes me smart and a well-rounded villain!

I love these threads

Reed: Hold on! We're falling!

Sue: HOLD ON? HOLD ON TO WHAT?

Reed: Nevermind.

They crashed! In the end they weren't so Fantastic... four. They will soon perish from lack of air. They are doomed! Doomed! Pay no attention to the smoke coming off of the ship!

Reed: Excellent Sue! Your forcefield cushioned the fall and gave us some air the breath! Someone's getting a chocolate cake when we get back! You can start baking it right away.

>I always get myself in this situation
Haha every fucking time until the Skrull Aging Ray increased her powers. He could never hold his field. Not even once.

There's not that much air. Enough to say our goodbyes I suppose and give Ben a final wedgie perhaps.

This writing
Literally Kirby

Waaaaait a minute. I see a mysterious area and... a house? It's over past some mountains.

I'M GONNA DIG THROUGH THAT MOUNTAIN AND AIN'T NOBODY GONNA TELL ME I CAN'T DO IT. ZIP IT JOHNNY.

Don't they remember there's air on the moon from the last time they were here?

Ugh. My arms feel like rocks. Oh yeah... that's normal.

what am I looking at

Johnny: It's been nice knowing you, Sue. My one regret is that I didn't burn more people, places, and things.

Sue: And my one regret is dying on the moon with you.

ONE LAST PUNCH! AFTER THAT I'M ALL OUTTA CLOBBERS FOR THE DAY ACCORDING TO MY CHARACTER SHEET.

Something magical, user.

If I'm going to die let it be me looking at a rock I have yet to analyze

Harsh, Sue.