Cosmic Storytime of Pain: ALL of Bendis' Guardians of the Galaxy #2

You all know what high place Sup Forums holds DnA's GotG in. You all know that the general opinion about Bendis' GotG is "it's shit". But how much of it have you really read?
Of course it's shit, but WHY is it shit? It's not just not following DnA's characterization. There is so much more shit to it.
Well, starting this week we're going to read ALL of post-Thanos Imperative Marvel Cosmic, starting with our guys Bendis and Humphries!
I'll post the schedule later, now brace yourself for some rage and memes.
I'm not good at official thread themes but I suppose it could sound something like
>[WAKE ME UP]
I CAN'T STOP THIS FEELING
>[CAN'T WAKE UP]
DEEP INSIDE OF ME
>[SAVE ME]
Previous thread:

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Fucking space and shit man

And here we officially start.

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>Earth. Cosmic is all about Earth, you know.

BRACE FOR HEAVY BENDIS SPEAK

I hate everything about this page.
Note that the first panel dialogue doesn't make any sense logically.

I mean, it's one thing if it was just Spartax, but we see that it's a treaty that involves not only the player we saw in that page, but they're agreeing on not having anyone ELSE touch Earth in theory.
Except they're not going to enforce this in the slightest. How does it make sense? Is it supposed to be a cunning plan by J'son?

Also probably the pages we've seen go before the Avengers Assemble arc and there's a timeskip, although Gamora here is already in Mass Effect armor and she isn't in AvAss

Did anyone like Guardian Tony?

>Christmas tree Groot
Thanks Steve

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Man, poor Badoon really

>Peter and his dad left on good terms (even going on adventures together) but FUCK THOSE POTENTIAL stories, let's just go with generic father/son antagonism

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Bendis was right in seeing potential in Peter's unexplored Spartax connection, but he went in the worst possible direction for that

It's a bit of bullshit that the moment Tony leaves the Earth's orbit he finds a Badoon spacecraft right in front of him 2bh

I like to imagine all of Bendis' characters with Solid Snake's voice because of how often they repeat questions to each other.

Rereading these early issues is funny because you could see Bendis still trying to attempt to give Drax some personality

In the dialogue here you have all of the "plot" for the first arc. Yes, it's nonsensical.

>what do you know about CQC, Tony?

Read this page for rage
>Who said Richard Rider isn't back?

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>McNiven already needing a fill-inner by issue TWO

So the Guardians were already en route to Earth and simply intercepted the Badoon on the road?
What did they think they'd find on Earth seriously?

Get it, it's like a terrorist attack for topical references to our time's fears, as if an actual alien invasion wouldn't speak to that

>where did you learn to fight? on a farm?

Well say they raze the entire London area, hell even the British isles. Wouldn't that just be like signing a huge "WE BADOON DID THIS"?

not ashamed to admit i bought the first 3 arcs for the art, McNiven, Pichelli are just next level and absolutely wasted on this writing

General thoughts about the direction of the latest volume with Schiti, OP?

Man, the kid Annihilus and 4-eyed Supremor from Hickman's run.

Honestly? Slower than ever but Bendis now seems to have a direction to follow in his mind, so it's better than v3

Man, to think all this could've really gotten somewhere if the editors really cared.

>infinity STONES
>Gladiator being a warmonger
Just no.

Fuck off, Tony, you shitter.
He's only the magical protector of the fucking Omniverse.

>Blam! Murdered you!
Eugh

At least we're seeing that Peter is now OP because of the Element Gun doing element shit
Still unconvinced that he, Tony or Rocket can take on an entire spaceship

Good ol' destroyer

This page gave me cancer

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Is the Thames in that place even that wide? I wouldn't think so

You haven't really governed for an extensive period of time before, Freyia/Frigga

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And here we see the epic setup job working.

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Now you may ask, why did J'son go through all that trouble to capture the Guardians and have a chat with Peter if really no one would care if the Guardians were captured and disbanded in the first place?

The galaxy may never know.

>Blam! Murdered you!
That sounds like something Rocket would say, the problem is that Bendis made it a catch phrase

Wait, so he didn't even give clear orders to take Peter alive?

As a catchphrase it sounds sort of vicious, when I guess the intent was to make it "quippy"

>roller skates
Okay, I chuckled.

Only Gamora and Rocket are the only one of their kind, and not even in the same sense.
>the Thanos - Gamora connection is universally reknown
Stop this pls

Also lost opportunity to have the Badoon have peculiar, non-ME armor that woould be designed for lizardkind

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>all this wasted art

COSMO MENTIONED

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das gay yo

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Did anyone make a Goku on Namek joke at these pages?

And is Gamora's sword here supposed to be the Godslayer?

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The art doesn't really convey the idea of the group making a passage through a host of enemies here

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I'm waiting for us to get to ANAD. I stopped reading Marvel then and want to see how awful things got.

I really disliked this whole "Peter becomes a Spartax celebrity by making televised speech"
It takes me out of the supposed space setting so fucking much

OP, you're a goddamn monster.

Well, Skeetee's art got better, the enemies got laughably bad but the story recovered a sense of direction and also nice character moments
Make of that what you will

To the second trade!
I could post the first volume's cover gallery art, thinking of doing it after the story's over though

Somebody had to do it

It's a bit telling that you can summarize the first three issues' plot in six lines

Full Pichelli from now on
Bye bye McNiven, thanks for nothing

>I don't know what a phone is
Ebin

I get what the point of the scene here was, but I could honestly do without it

>skinny Gamora
NO

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It's not like we saw this very same sequence three issues ago

I always liked Jeph Loeb's Hulk recap pages that had like 4 panels catching you up. It's a catch up, not a summary

Also why would Spartax "royals" go to a shady space bar

Did you know that Gamora is Thanos' adopted daughter? You wouldn't know from these pages

>the Accuser
Accuser is an actual military rank in the Kree army that comes with distinct armor and Kree origin, who is this fag?

Yep, but in this case they really tell the whole story.

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>rigellian nuthole
>looks like a giant bull
What happened to Rigel and tiny yellow men, mate

Playing possum doesn't work so well in real life

Ah, the old Bendis trope where a character angrily snaps and keeps repeating the same line while hitting an opponent/building up rage
When you notice it, you'll realize he does this a lot

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Who knew a psp could work like that

NOTE: he doesn't do anything of the sort with the Guardians

>Gamora prepared to go out like that

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huehuehuehue

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We Angela now

AKA "Bendis pretends Age of Ultron was relevant by referencing it as much as possible in his books"

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>that absolute contempt
A true lady.

Fuck off already with le spartax guards meme

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