Describe a comic book character WITHOUT saying what they look like, what kind of costume they wear...

Describe a comic book character WITHOUT saying what they look like, what kind of costume they wear, or what their profession or role in the comic is. Describe this character to us like we ain't never read a comic before.

He's an everyman with a guilt complex stemming from the one time he looked out for him and his only, and suffered for it.

Orphaned as a child, and raised by an elderly couple. Humble and well meaning, while controlling immeasurable power.

Well...
He's a dick.

>We're not so different... you and I.

He's extremely greedy and penny pinching but always believes in doing the hard work to get what you want. While he can be a jerk deep he really does care about those he loves and can show it on occasion.

He's a man of two worlds that fear and distrust one another. He tries to act as the bridge, but this naturally means he ends up taking hits and making enemies on both sides. Not to mention the fact that not many take him seriously; regardless, he keeps his head held high, maintaining a sense of nobility as well as a more down-to-earth temperament about him.

Easy fucking peezy.

Haunted Tank?

The quintessential good guy

He was born in the 19th century.

It depends but generally he's a war-weary old man who constantly bears the weight of the world on his shoulders. But he's eternally an optimist and puts the welfare of his companions above his own survival or the success of his plans, because he believes that to be more morally important. Has a great love of freedom but understands responsibility.

Can be surprisingly chill too though.

...

Nope.
I'll add some more.

He's forced to live with the guilt of the one time he let his anger control him; he inadvertently created his greatest nemesis and learned a valuable lesson about the responsibility which rests on the shoulders of those in positions of power.

Bingo!

>He was born in the 19th century.
Easy fucking peezy.

Fun-loving and vivacious, though occasionally quick to anger. Many get hung up on her physical appearance, but she's tough enough to power through the stares. A powerful ally to have in a bind, though she's sometimes prone to rash decisions and acting on impulse. For the most part, a sweet and sarcastic go-getter; just don't be on her bad side.

Man-Spider.

Ebony and ivory

A total layabout loser; essentially everything that's wrong with twenty-somethings rolled into one shiftless package.
He's totally unaware of his wrongdoings because he's never really had to take responsibility for any of his own problems before.
He's working at it, though; he's learning to be an all-around better, more considerate human being and less of a shortsighted sponge. Has broken a surprising amount of hearts for someone with no real prospects and an immature personality, but is steadily making good on it.

Scott.

He eats food and sees the foods life in a world with crazy food superpowers and ilegal chicken

Orphaned at a young age, young Mr.X devoted his life to fight against the very thing that took his parents away from him.

But he couldn't do it in any other way than taking matters in his own hands, to the point of severe obsession. Driven by it and using it's vast ressources, the help of his precious friend/guardian and absolute determination, he spent years molding himself into a weapon made of skills and knowledge.

Still, in a world filled with beings with abilities far superior to his own, he must always think ahead. Facing so many possibilities at all time, he has a hard time connecting intimately with other people. In fact, some would say he's closer to the people he fights. Yet, a few managed to gain his trust,

In the end, Mr.X is a symbol. He's about setting an ideal for yourself and never letting go of it. He shows the importance and the potential of one decision, and how it can change the life of anyone.

Huh?

Ding ding ding

A psychotic manchild prone to violent (usually homocidal) outbursts, possibly because of torture he inflicts on himself. Has an unhealthy obsession with a frozen food product.

A hero for fame and fortune who has saved the multiverse numerous times plus the lives of several of the universe's favorite heroes under the ironic curse that he will go down in history as being an idiot fuckup.

He's fast and he basically has adhd

...

yeah

Forces behind comprehension await our hero as she is born into a world of fantastic forces with a legacy to uphold and a planet of people to protect. She doesn't not falter against adversity, and in fact stands against it with a dramatic flair.

...

Shulkie

He's a fuckhead.

J. Jonah Jameson

there he is

Torn between grief for his lost people and a crippling addiction to a certain prepackaged baked good snack, this man from another world struggles to protect and find a place in the new world he calls home.

Orphaned at a young age, he balances great power with even greater responsibility and devotes himself to protecting the innocent from anyone who might prey on them.

Bat-Spider

Goofy?

Not quite.

Superman.

Royalty rapped in a foreigner's body. Tries to be a good person, but has gotten really good at killing; she likes it. Can read your mind.

This man is intelligent, resourceful, and very brave. He places the well-being of others before himself and he is willing to sacrifice his reputation and his life to make sure his people are safe from the gang of hypocritical assholes surrounding them. And he was fucking RIGHT all along.

You'll be hearing from Disney's lawyers about using that power and responsibility line for a DC character.

Nice and smart guy that gets his powers from a potion.

Professor X

Magneto

>places the well-being of others before himself
>Chuck X
AHAHAHAHAHA

>Many get hung up on her physical appearance, but she's tough enough topower through the stares

Clever.

Cosmic neckbeard beta supreme obsesses over his dream woman, goes to extreme, universe-changing lengths to impress her, but gets repeatedly rejected and cucked.

Thanos

fans are girls with daddy issues

constantine?

He spent the best years of his life enduring whiny assholes like Cyclops while they mooched off of him. If that's not selflessness, nothing is.

Scott Summers

Harley Quinn

Martian Manhunter

Dick Grayson

not a girl but that works better

Is Thanos canonically a virgin?

Prowl?

No, the prompt said he was right.

Dick means detective, so clearly it's Bobo T. Chimpanzee, aka Detective Chimp.

Nice one, very subtle.

A bisexual with a prefrence for women whos relatitionships swiftly fall apart for various reasons and who is constantly on the run from the consequences of his actions palming them onto others along the way

Spent several years in the asylum over a mistake involving the severed stump of innocence

Smokes a lot prefers silk cut cigarettes and will smoke cannabis when with others who are doing so but cant auctualy taste his cigarettes anymore.

Bitched about thatcher a lot when she was in power

Con job

Alan Moore

I dont think silk cuts are a real brand

>not a real brand
>thinks this is a problem for an actual wizard

Scrooge

She's smart, and purple.

He's a wishy washy character

BINGO!

Constantine, of course. I'm gonna reread the shit out of Hellblazer. Read it in highschool and now I feel I'm going to be able to enjoy it better.

Wait nevermind it is a real brand.

According to Thanos Rising (which is shit in general but the closest we get to a backstory), he's been with many women and had children, before "going for smokes". He later went back and killed them all.

Most of the time, Thanos isn't shown as having feelings for a woman besides Death.