New Avengers Vol 1 Storytime (Part 4)

Welcome back Anons! What did House of M Luke Cage do before Wolverine showed up? Let's find out!

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Well, Gage is better than Bendis...

That said, this came out like years later and retconned in the whole House of Mvengers thing, didn't it?

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>He still wears the classic costume

This was one of a bunch of minis that were released years later, this one in 2008. I figured I'd do it now, while House of M is still fresh in our memories.
Plus, it gives us a bit of a break from Bendis, and lord knows we all need those.

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>Willis Stryker is a snake-looking motherfucker in House of M instead of some guy with knives

Even in an alternate universe, Luke's favorite way of entering a room is still through the wall.

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It's weird how his backstory is basically the exact same even in a world where mutants rule the world.

Well, he needs to display some mad cleavage to get anywhere in Mutantland. Hard out there for a Flatscan, man.

>Dazzler #1 Cover ref
>That jerk that tried to recruit Cyclops before Xavier did is a jeweler instead of being dead.

I guess in this universe, the doctor isn't Noah Burstein?

youtube.com/watch?v=DBTtSuTqYP0

Replace "Ridge" with "Rocket".

Third eye guy in panel two is CLEARLY Dog the Bounty Hunter.

Honestly, I'm more interested in the backstory of "Apocalypse Now". I guess in this universe, En Saba Nur decided to go Hollywood.

Sounds legit.

There doesn't seem to be any universe where this fight isn't hilariously one-sided.

>he thinks a hand grenade will take Luke out

No, he rules North Africa. Iceman is one of his Horsemen IIRC.

The movie's probably based on his conquest of north Africa and/or him fighting Magneto and getting locked in there.

>his shirt got destroyed in the blast

This might as well be classic Luke.

Scorpion butt there would be genuinely terrifying in real life.

>that one guy in the third panel flying in a bubble

Hey now, don't jump the gun.

We need to see how soda machines react to him, first.

>even in the flashbacks, he still gets clothing damage

Respect to Gage for actually giving Hero for Hire/Power Man a read before writing this.

He did the work. Much kudos.

I remember reading one of the tie-ins where Apocalypse tried picking a fight with Black Panther, but fought the wrong king with Black in his name.

the face he made when he saw Black Bolt was freaking GREAT

So yeah, Cage's Danny Rand was Iron Fist.

There's only so much we can expect, user.

>Luke Cage
>Iron Fist
>Moon Knight
>Hawkeye
>Mockingbird

I won't lie, I'd read this team.

Isn't it a sad state of things where doing the research is something to be commended, rather than just something we assume they do?

>and then we've got Tigra

Also Spider-Hero.
Would be a solid I'm gonna say Defenders or maybe Flyover States Avengers?

I'd say Chicago Avengers, but I think the Great Lakes Avengers technically has that covered.

You'd think that, but the were actually in like, Milwaukee.

And are moving to Detroit for Marvel Nowererer.

>Shang-Chi

Serious question, save exhausting him, how could Shang-Chi ever expect to beat Luke? At least Danny's Iron Fist can seriously hurt him.

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>The Sons of the Tiger are in this too

Fucking hell, Gage did his research.

>"It's worth noting that Cage and Tigra have formed a romantic relationship."

Wait, without the Talismans, how are they supposed to fight Kung Fu God?

>Family picnic in Central Park
>Frank
>Criminals

We Punisher soon!

I wanna say Shang's gang is Mantis, Zaran, Slaymaster and Swordsman?

Honestly, I don't think Cage read THAT much. I mean, we did, but I'm an autistic fuck.

>that poor fucker with crab arms

Huh, I guess House of M Frank got to save his family.

HE WAS JUST TRYING TO PROTECT THE KRABBY PATTY RECIPE!

Even if his family lives, he STILL is the Punisher?

Well House of M was apparently supposed to be what people really wanted, even though that made no goddamn sense.

I guess when they said "everyone else on the team is a mutant", he's not counting Taskmaster.

>This was one of a bunch of minis that were released years later
Wait, why? At that point, who even gave a fuck about House of M?

They changed their minds constantly on that.

Taskmaster is sometimes a mutant.
How his power works is mutable.

Why is Feral naked?

Who knows? They released THREE of them, in 2008, 2009, and 2010.

I woul too.
They kind of complement themselves

>that spoiler
Because one of them gets off on it.

>House of M K'un Lun was destroyed by Magneto
>Danny is instead dating Lotus

>that scar in the third panel

You rarely see Misty with her shoulders uncovered like that, so when it's done I enjoy seeing a bit of scarring there where her real arm would've been.

>"It fires specifically designed bullets with an adamantium core. That'll pierce Cage's flesh like a hot knife through butter."

Ouch. That'd do it.

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Who's this redhead on the right, then?

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Okay, scratch Slaymaster. That is Machete.

Redhead might be Colleen, because Asian?
Or Patsy Walker, given that she's going after Tigra, who's original heroic identity she stole?

Yep, Feral still has no clothes.

>Tigra took a sniper bullet to the tits

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Holy shit, Adamantium bullet to the damn eye!

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So, I guess Shang-Chi and Luke are cool now?

>Punisher is even in the classic Spider-Man cover pose

Oh shit, this team might get Punisher on it now?

>"Anyone on the streets of Sapien Town at this hour is up to no good."

Yeah, Punisher is probably gonna change teams before this is over.

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Aw man, there goes White Tiger.

Er, THAT White Tiger anyway.

>Speedball
>Turbo
>Rage?

Suddenly we're New Warriors.

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Wow, Thunderbird's a total dick.

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I wonder if this cop gets to play Good Cop Bad Cop by himself.

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>"See, that 'steel hard' thing, it's just a figure'a speech. I'm a lot tougher than steel."

It used to not be the case, remember.

I think he's of two minds on it.

More clothing damage!

It's weird seeing Taskmaster's mask without eyes like this.

>straight haired Misty
God damn it, I miss her afro.

>Misty and Luke

God damn it...

>"To think all these years he passed himself off as a mutant when he was just an enhanced sapien."

Huh, that explains that.

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Yeah, it really is never explained why Hawkeye's mask has an M on it.

Hawkeye flying again.
I think it's amusing to no end.

>"It's been years since you helped my family and me get to Wakanda"

Yeah, just drop that flash forward in there with no subtlety at all.

Flying for group shots is his secret superpower.

>Inhumans are fighting mutants

The more things change, the more things stay the same...

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Given how tired I am, I'm thinking of leaving the fifth issue for the morning, Anons.

>"You sure you can trust these LA Punks?"
>"They're The Pride's kids."

Huh, I guess the Runaways never ran away in House of M.

I have no problem with that. I ought to get to bed as well.