You have a time machine capable of 6 "jumps" and a revolver with 6 bullets. What do you do?

You have a time machine capable of 6 "jumps" and a revolver with 6 bullets. What do you do?

Sell the machine and the gun.

t. Silverstein.

Kill OP 6 times

Travel back in time and shoot your mother while she has you in her womb. But not fatally, just so you don't arrive to term.

No thanks interpol

go to year ~2200

either im instantly dead or life is amazing

Move to 1946 America and enjoy our golden years. Also I'd try to stop the vietnam war before it began because it led to the hippy movement which led to the downfall of american culture. I want to live in a Leave it to Beaver style neighborhood dammit!

go back to when i was a fetus and shoot myself in the head while still in the uterus. My mom will hear the gun blast and just think it was a baby fart.

I keep going back and forth 10 seconds to try to loosen the fabric completely.

>You have a time machine capable of 6 "jumps"
1. Jump to 2417
2. Enjoy the Sextonian Superculture of 4D ficki ficki on superdrugs in the United States of Finland.
3. Travel back to 1962 - drive over Elivs, leave revolver with 6 bullets at the scene
4. Travel to 32 A.D., ask Jesus why he is such a faggot - get him hanged after he throws a tantrum
5. Travel back to present 1 minute prior to departure, get another 6 jumps and revolver with 6 bullets

>John Lennon
>JFK
>MLK Jr.
>Lincoln
>Franz Ferdinand
>Caesar

One of each would be sufficient if done right.

Shoot Moot before he became a Cuck
Kill Abraham.
Shoot OP 3 times
Shoot the Guy who James Dean Crashed into

How the hell would I know who was standing at the spot in the past where my time machine is now?

I mean, if anyone sees you and poses a threat, that's what gun's for

>Franz Ferdinand
Agreed, their music sucks.

>Jump half an hour into the past
>Fire 5 bullets into the dashboard
>Put one in my skull

Top banter

Jump 1 Go back to whoever made weapons during the revolution. Give them my revolver. Make sure they replicate it. Win an easy war.

t. Someone who doesn't understand time paradoxes

Jump 1 - 1947 America - Found Google, Facebook, have someone wait for the advent of the internet to make them viable, then be the first through the door and reap the rewards.

Jump 2 - 1 AD, Middle East - Kill one-year-old Jesus Christ with a knife.

Jump 2 - 630-something AD - Middle East - kill mohammad with a knife.

Jump 3 - N. Korea - present day - shoot Kim Jong Un in the face 6 times on live TV.

Jump 4 - California, at the opening of the cell phone revolution - create iPhone6, take over market.

The remaining two jumps might be needed later to get my ass out of trouble.

>Marx
>Muhammad
I save the remaining shots, then
>Travel to colonial America, convince them not to trade African slaves
>Implement AES with WWII tech and replace enigma
Save the time machine (stay in wwii)

>implying they had the tech to even reverse engineer, let alone mass produce it

1. go to the future when time machines are free and commonplace
2. park the original time machine somewhere and enjoy the future

>Jump 1 - 1947 America - Found Google, Facebook, have someone wait for the advent of the internet to make them viable
an hero for being this stupid you immitigable fucking retard

>kill jesus
>literally none of the other events you listed will ever happen

try to think before you post

Shoot OP 6 times throughout his life, with the last one being lethal

"I'm sorry sir but this is only a 30 minute parking zone, if you want to get your temporal displacement machine back, you'll have to go to the impound lot"

But by then I'd have a strong immunity to bullets

Hannibal
Brutus
Khan
Rothschild
Pres. Wilson
Marx

Yo, you have to start somewhere.
I mean, where do you think all of that tech came from in the 50s? Did we just think it up? Nah, it was given to us by (((aliens)))

Jump 5 - Monday, August 22nd @ 4:50PM - someplace where this poster is - kill poster.

Jump 6 - Monday, August 22nd @ 4:50 PM, somewhere this poster is - bleed poster to death with paper cuts.

Are you saying mohammad couldn't be killed?

I'd go back in time to before I use the time machine, then I'll have two time machines and two bodies capable of 12 jumps.

Shoot myself 6 times

okay so you're a literal certified downs syndrome sufferer? sorry, i didn't know.

Kill jesus (babby jesus)
Kill Muhammed
Kill Ghandi
Kill OP's mom
Kill OP's dog
Kill OP's dad

Make OP live with it.

Kill Muhammad (pbuh)
Kill Hertzel
Kill Stalin

Each two bullets just to make sure
4th jump would be to the future, take something that made a lot of cash with me, save it on a flash drive, whatever.
5th jump is take Tesla @around 1930 with all of his patents (even though he doesn't need them)

Last jump is back to modern day... make tons of money+have the greatest mind to ever exist

Where is this aggression coming from? Did your mom take away your TV privileges?

>Thomas Edison
>LBJ
>George Soros as a kid
>Ghandi
>go back to clone Teddy Roosevelt (no shoot)
>shoot the inventor of the time machine since time travel is very dangerous.

>30 minute parking zone
Bitch I have a time machine. Fuck your thirty minutes.

Jokes on you, I don't even have a dog

>christianity will never be founded
>countless wars and nations will never be born
>billions of people will be killed/born that would not have been otherwise
>still believes that mohammed, north korea, iphones, and facebook will still exist

like i said, fucking think before you post idiot

The fuck Caesar on there for? If anything, Constantine or Theodosius.

jump to ancient egypt and bury the gun
jump 4 times around history looking at cool stuff
jump to 2016, take vacation in egypt

>ancient aliens

You can only visit 5 time lines moron

not everyone wants to jump back home.

I go back in time and shoot OP.
This causes a paradox which destroys all of reality.

What kind of car is that?

Now that you mention it, living in ancient Greece must be comfy as fuck if you're fluent in latin and a white male

Looks like a heavily bodykitted Lamborghini Countach

>George Lucas is dying in 1994

>Go back in time
>Copy the time machines plans
>Go back in time and get a weapon that holds more than 6 bullets
>Become a Time Traveling Assassin for hire
WEW LAD

>Kill Christopher Colombus before he became anyone worth a fuck

>Kill George Washington and send a note back to the UK telling them to stay out of Afghanistan in the 1800s, let Russia bleed there instead

>Kill founding member of black hand
>Kill the guy who shot Franz Ferdinand before he joined the black hand

>Kill Hitler while he was a bum in Vienna

>Kill Ghandi before he became an icon

>Go back to my time

6 jumps and all 6 bullets used, I return to the UK and enjoy the glorious Empire which hopefully hasn't fallen apart yet.

>jump back to 1865
>shoot John Wilkes Booth in Ford's theater
>Lincoln goes through with his plan to free all the blacks from slavery - then load them on to ships back to Africa
You're welcome.

I see we both can agree on Colombus and Ghandi.

They'd probably sell the rights to someone other than Disney, but Disney would still probably buy them out post Marvel money.

Jump to America and buy heaps more guns and bullets

>Shoot King Henry VIII in the face
>I'm King now
>If anyone wants to change that, there better be more than five of you

Make 5 random jumps, kill 5 mudslimes. Return to 5 minutes before this offer is made. Repeat.

travel back to the day i met my ex and shoot myselk in the fucking head for believing the cunt when she said she was on the pill.

i would only jump once to 1818
kill marx at birth
world peace achieved for eternity

Not enough bullets but plenty of jumps.

You forgot Mohammad (PBUH)

better idea, who was the very first jew? kike alpha. get rid of that guy and everything is fixed.

Until you die from a simple infection.

This.

Abraham.

Enjoy getting your throat slit and your corpse tossed into a bog by Druids.

yeah nah, travel back to abrahams time, drive by that bitch, travel back to now.

No, I'm talking about how Britain will end up without monotheism.

You are an angry young person. May Allah (praise him) have mercy on your eternal soul.

. Travel back to present 1 minute prior to departure, get another 6 jumps and revolver with 6 bullets

>travel to one minute prior to departure, shoot your past self, steal his time machine and bullets

thinking that religion is the reason and not just the excuse for peoples shit behavior

Better

Holy shit are you retarded?

>kill Hitler right before WW2 starts, making Germany look like the good guys and hopefully putting the USA on their side
>kill Soros and Rothschild, assuming they weren't shoah'd
>that's it

Christianity was terrible for scientific progress. Without Christ, I might get in the time machine to go to the next jump and find another time traveler telling me that's all the world needed, and that I didn't need the other jumps - society lives in a utopia without Christianity.

Before you get all charged up with the holy spirit and set out to smite me, remember that a LOT of good things might have happened without Christianity.

I fill the car full of encyclopedias and scientific documents, jump back about 200 years and give them to a bunch of wealthy educated white men and then go back to my own time to see what they managed to accomplish with all the knowledge of the advancements of the past 2 centuries available to them.

Travel back in time to before you travel back in time and shoot yourself, then step into the still unused machine and travel back in time to stop yourself from shooting yourself by shooting yourself, then travel back in time to stop yourself from stopping yourself by shooting yourself by shooting yourself, then travel forward in time to prevent yourself from stopping yourself from stopping yourself by shooting yourself before stopping yourself by shooting yourself from stopping yourself by shooting yourself.

Learn to read.

Use all 6 bullets on Mohammed, spend the other 5 jumps shitting around time having fun.

should do 3000 just in case though.
Nuclear fallout or whatever should be cleared up.

But the Jews still exist.

or the jews won and we're back in the stone age because they couldn't figure out how to make niggers do all the work and thus starved to death

No, I'm just not as edgy and cool as you. I will tell you this, though; the first time you have sex, you'll think "It's a lot warmer in a vagina than it is in my hand." True story.

Save the Aztecs, Inca and Maya, then give them legitimate political ground.
Stop colonization, and allow the natives of America, Australia and Africa to protect their rightful land.
Defend Constantinople and keep the Ottoman from entering Europe.
Stop the British from bullying my Irish ancestors.

Trump already did it

Where would be your limit? Why not 4000 or 10000?

Vector W 8
only 19 made.

a e s t h e t i c as fuck

Maybe you just have cold hands...

I'd get in the car and shoot this guy before he gets into his tbqh.

Then I'd shoot Mohammed.

And Stalin.

And Hitler.

Then I'd spend like 5 years in 1950s America.
Then I'd travel back to the time I entered the car and give myself the gun so I can shoot Mohammed twice.

Yeah, the Jewish problem - as you folks are so fond of calling it - would still exist.

>travel back 120 seconds before departure explain that future me will kill present me give me the gun to see what happens.

Maybe the Jews would be the slaves.

why do i have only a dumb revolver even tough i managed to build a fucking time machine?

Shoot Mohammed six times.

Lmao it's literally 1980's: the car

They aren't warm. Sometimes I wince at the thought of jacking off, but what must be done must be done.

1918
Rosa Luxembourg
3 members of the Entente Genral Staff
1976
Jimmy Carter
1914
Hipolito Yrigigoyen and Luis Saenz pena
1919
Jump back here and enjoy the changes in history i made