Italians: what the fuck is their deal?

Italians: what the fuck is their deal?

>“Too much garlic! Garlic everywhere,” Bellomi exclaims. The 28-year-old, a New York resident for the last two years, has a problem with how Italian food is done in the US. “It makes me want to cry,” she says, entirely seriously.

>Giacomo Silvestris, a 39-year-old director of operations for Italian CAI foods in New York, says that the way in which non-Italians drink cappuccino makes him faint. Drinking one at any other moment of the day apart from breakfast-time is unacceptable, he says. Drinking a cappuccino at the end of lunch or dinner, or worse still, together with one of those meals is what provokes the most intense reaction from Silvestris (wide eyes, hand gesticulation). Waiters at bars in cities across Italy have been known to refuse to serve tourists asking for the mistimed beverages. You can order one before noon, or simply forget it.

>It is not just poultry and pasta that are not allowed to mix – meat and pasta very rarely make it on to the same plate. Pasta is one course (primo) and meat is another, fully separate course (secondo). “Except for in one particular region of the south [of Italy], where they put very small meatballs in their tomato sauce, we would never put meatballs in pasta. Who has ever heard of spaghetti meatballs?!” Silvestris exclaims.

>• You are absolutely never allowed to add cheese to a seafood pasta recipe.

>• You match pasta shapes with specific sauces, and some can never be combined (porcini mushrooms go with pappardelle or tagliatelle, for instance, absolutely not with spaghetti).

It's their food, but you ruined it.

>ruined

um, no, sweetie

>we
you mean the terrones that immigrated here

Based terrones

Italian grow up getting brainwashed their food is perfect and food traditions are important and they become autistic. It's fucking annoying i assure you. They actually believe their shitty wodoo practices make food better or something.

this, unironically

I wasn't being ironic, Italain food culture is cancer.

>• You match pasta shapes with specific sauces, and some can never be combined (porcini mushrooms go with pappardelle or tagliatelle, for instance, absolutely not with spaghetti).

So when you go to restaurants in Italy do you always get the same combinations of sauce/pasta with no variation or innovation whatsoever? Sounds boring desu

>meat and pasta very rarely make it on to the same plate
But what about Bolognese and Milanese?

It's only some specific kinds of sauce which go with speicific kinds of pasta and you can ask for a different combination. It is also possible restaurants do innovations themselves, but idon't know, i am poor.

Do you love Italy?

>Milanese
?
milanese is a steak what does that have to do with pasta? Also that part is pure autism and we do put meat in sauce, the part which seems accurate of what he is saying is that we don't do mega plates with both pasta and a steak on them for example.

What kind of coffee do Italians have in the afternoon and evening?

As an Italian I agree, we are very autistic

wah lah

>milanese is a steak what does that have to do with pasta?
Isn't this milanese?
>what he is saying is that we don't do mega plates with both pasta and a steak on them for example.
Thanks, that clarifies it. We never do it, either.

>an italian guy is sleeping over at a couch at my friends house
>it's morning
>he offers me coffee
>i accept
>he gives me the tiniest fucking cup in the universe

>no coffee after breakfast
Wrong. Italians drink espresso all the fucking time after lunch and dinner, often with grappa.
>no meat with pasta
This is beyond retarded. Sausages are extremely prevalent in pasta

Who the fuck are these Italians?

He brought his own cups and espresso machine to your friend's house?

It's absolute bullshit, Italians don't even respect their own cuisine. I have seen actual Italians eating Pizza with fries on top in Italy at two different occasions. Also the best selling pizza in Italy comes from Germany and is frozen pizza.

it sounds like obsessive ritualism, which I've not noticed in Italians before but judging from this guy I wouldn't be surprised if it were an underlying aspect of Italian gastronomy

In my experience they turn their nose up at frozen pizza but yeah potato is an acceptable pizza topping
>potato
>ham under various names
>sausage under various names
>anchovies
>a few certain types of veg
You look at the menu and its a list of every possible combination of each of these select few ingredients

t. Brit lived in Italy for a while

absolutely true

>obsessive ritualism
that sounds completely accurate for all sorts of Italian behaviour

Is that Mr. Bean?

>add cheese to a seafood pasta recipe
Whoever does it needs to kill himself, not even joking.
>meat and pasta very rarely make it on the same plate
False. We just don't mix up two different dishes cause two stray dogs in a Disney movie told us to.

I like american cheese on my filet o' fish sandwich guiseppe

>filet o fish
>literally exists to keep american catholics from skipping a day from mcdonald's

italian anuses are for yank cocks

>yank cocks
We're not into gore

its funny. i live with an italian guy who eats lots of garbage tier italian food here (frozen pizzas) and doesn't ever autistically rant about how food is better in italy.

>you cant do this and you cant do that
I thought that italian cuisine is all about home cooking and grandma's recipes, why the fuck it is so restrictive

No idea what that is.

looks like some kind of pasta al ragù but surely we don't have a pasta called milanesa, we do have a fried steak called "cotoletta alla milanese"

I'm afraid it's spaghetti with pieces of very fried cotoletta

Fuck off with your astroturfing to divide the European peoples

wait till he meets another italian

Literal autism. But then again, they don't have much else.

Also american-italian food sucks utter dick.

Ah, i remember when smug swedes were taken seriously

...

what the FUCK

You do find some who autismrage at potatoes on pizza too. But it is used and liked indeed.

uma delicia

BASED efficient plate guy who doesn't need to wash two dishes when there is enough room in one only.

>They actually believe their shitty wodoo practices make food better or something.
There's nothing wrong with voodoo if the end goal is to achieve the expected quality

They can do whatever they want, but when you chirp out if someone makes something else it becomes a problem. (not when someone feeds you something else, if they just do it for themselves)

>literally calling a sandwich menu "hi mongoloid!"

looks like some short of ragu with bread crumbs or maybe the cheese there is just like that idk, the pasta seems overcooked

You are free to go back to Romania to have your boiled catfish with mayo as a pizza topping whenever you want, Radu

>TFW pizza kebab patate ketchup mayonnaise
I LOVE Italy.

Rumeno di merda btfo

Romanians are the true heirs to the Roman empire, that's why they love garlic on everything and you don't.

Spaghetti with a minced meat sauce.

don't you stranieri call that bolognese?

They don't seem to grasp that most Italian culinary traditions were born out of poverty and necessity, or that the kinds of dishes eaten haven't evolved over time. The stuff they ate in 1800 was not what's eaten in modern day Italy.

What we call bolognese also has tomato sauce. This is more often called "manistra usuvo" - dry pasta - in my dialect.
What are they actually called?

Cant wait to order pasta carbonare (the british one, the real one) with ham and some added meatballs, maybe some tuna and cheese there too. Make sure its many different kinds of pasta mixed together, and a capuccino to go with it. At dinner time.

But the pasta is red? Why is it red if it has no sauce?Pasta with sauce and meat is ragù. (people wilol understand you if you say bolognese, but i suspect it came in italian language from bad translation in movies, just a theory, it is possible people always called it bolognese here too). Pasta with meat without sauce i don't think has a name.

It's probably from V*netian """""cuisine""""" so it's name must be something like "mona e diocan"

Wht's brit carb like precisely?

If you want the cook to come out of the kitchen and furiously rape your boipucci right there in the dining room, you just have to ask nicely

>You match pasta shapes with specific sauces, and some can never be combined (porcini mushrooms go with pappardelle or tagliatelle, for instance, absolutely not with spaghetti).
Sounds like OCD.

Italian gets real for a minute and americans collectively lose their shit

I love it.

It doesn't look red to me. Anyway, that's what you'll get if you ask for milanese here. There is another kind of dry pasta that used to be eaten by poor people. It's not really made anymore. It was basically just pasta with bread crumbs. It's a dish from my grandmother's youth.
I see, thank you.

People do eat pasta without sauce, typically with oil. But it actually looks yellow when we make it.

Italy hasn't been relevant in decades so they constantly bring up their centuries old glory because it's all they have to show.

Pasta with a bit of oil and breadcrumbs has always been the dish to eat when you're sick and want to be gentle to your stomach, at least in my family (upper adriatico)

>One Italian raged: "Nigella you are a wonderful woman but your recipes are the DEATH of Italian recipes,literally!NO CREAM IN CARBONARA NEVER,only eggs."

>Another instructed: "Uova, Pecorino, Guanciale, Pepe, Arte.

>"L'arte della cucina Italiana non è un modo di pensare.

>"The art of Italian cooking is not a way of thinking."

>And another said: "The cream in the Carbonara is an outrage to Italian cuisine".

You forgot
>i could -bluaargh- conquer you in -sniffs- under 30 minutes

>Americans put olive oil and cream in carbonara
No wonder Guineas are all so fucking fat

She's British

This is American carbonara

No, that's a "Bismarck pizza"

Why cream and eggs? I might try it, but that doesn't sound like it would add much.

Why do Italians hate pizza?

Ancora tu autistico rumeno del cazzo. Torna a Lugoj zigano cerebroleso

AHAHAH ''ciao down'' here mean ''hi to you, guy with 21 cromosomes'' ahahahhah

Btw what are supposed to mean ''pizziola'' and ''pepperoni'' ? These words doesn't make any sense at all.

When you will understand that eggs in Carbonara are broken and mixed with other ingredients to ''creamyze'' the taste and absolutely aren't entire or some kind of topping?

They are missing an Italian Escoffier to reform their cuisine desu

Keep deluding yourself into thinking that Italy is still the same cultural tour de force it used to be when your people are some of the least educated in Europe and every aspect of your culture is from hundreds of years ago. Even your high end cultural exports live on that lost glory, because they're all considered overpriced and overly flashy by their respective enthusiasts nowadays.

t. poo in the loo romnigger

>BLAAARGH I COULD NUUUKEE YOOOOU

considering this post came from pic related all I am gonna say is stay safe at school hombre.

Stay retarded while everyone else surpasses you.

Personally you can only surpass me in bmi and saltiness

La Luz extinguido....

>It is not just poultry and pasta that are not allowed to mix
mmm, try again sweety

Stop appropriating our culture

>Italians still stuck in the 1900s

Meanwhile, we Americans dive headfirst into THE FUTURE