What was Sup Forums's worst experience with the TSA?

What was Sup Forums's worst experience with the TSA?

>My father has screws and metal plates in his left leg so naturally the machine goes beep beep
>They search his right leg instead
alright then

Had to take my cap off during the body scan.

they accused me of smuggling something between my legs, and then molested my dick, and then made me show them it was really my dick, the inspection lasted over a minute .

Must have been some small arms they were looking for

they raped me in the ass after I called them federal rent a cops

Hard to detect a thimble aint it
>COMZUMx/
>comunizum

>machine goes off
>"sir I need to pad you down, will only take a second"
>no belt because removed it before walk through machine, pants loose
>pants fall to my ankles while being padded with ass directly infront of guards face
>uncontrollably let out a giggle

Could've been worse tbqh

>"Are you 18?"
>"Yeah, I'm 19 actually."
>"Yeah right. Show me your ID."
>show him drivers license
>"Dude, you're gonna get carded for life."

It was kind of funny. I never really had any problems with TSA.

No lol, I'm literally brown and I frequently travel in Idaho/Eastern Washington airports due to my job and even there TSA doesn't give a HECK about me

>look 14
>in actuality 22
>get carded every. single. time. i try to buy liquor
>sometimes get carded by the same person two or three times a day

Hate having a babyface bro

"OH IM SORRY I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA"

>Have a shower dick
>Have to strap it down when I wear pants
>TSA thought my dick was a weapon
>Had multiple fat baboons fondle my dick until they realized it was actually my dick

My worst experience is when they don't say anything when taking my ID.

Not even a smile or nod.

What a bunch of assholes.

i love how they're all fucking niggers too

You'll like it when you're 45.

It was on September 11, 2001. I was planning on setting off some fireworks for my cousin's wedding in New York City. The authorities however, treated me with prejudice because I was from the Middle East, but when I explained to them in great detail, they let me go.

Lovely folk all of them. Humans are prejudice but we can always do our best to understand one another.

They let me bring a pocket knife and a letter opener I forgot to take out of my bag to England and when the British version of the TSA saw I was almost arrested. Fuck those useless cunts

I was going through with my mom, she said something like "don't you hate going through these long lines" I said "don't you hate going through body scanners". This old bitch looked at me like I was evil for even questioning what we were doing. Pretty sure they moved my seat when they printed my tickets out, I was sat in the back of the plane right next to some guy who i suspect was an undercover air marshall.

When I was 15 I was stopped by the exit TSA for immigration, asked me if I had any drugs on me. It was like a 24 hour trip and I was sorta irritated, so I said "I sure hope not". spent like 2 hours going through my stuff, patted me down. didn't do the whole search, he was basically just throwing his weight around and being pushy.

i have to take my shoes off

> Go through TSA checkpoint and told to go through cancer scanner.
> Say nope.
> Fat faggot fuck TSA agent hells 'Opt out! Opt out!' like he is yelling fire.
> I say 'jesus Christ what the fuck'
> Fat fucking TSA goons make me wait 5 minutes.
> Say I want a private screening room.
> Fat fucking goons make me take off my shoes on way to screening room. I ask why can't I have my shoes. Get ignored.
> I expected problems so I came two hours early for check in. I literally slow to a crawl out when walking of spite and make the fat fucks wait for me.
> They ask if I needed a wheelchair, I ignored them just like they did to me.
> Finally make my way to TSA room and they par me down.
> I start making wierd noises and breathing heavily when they Pat me down on purpose.
> Twitch intentionally when they get close to my gentiles.
> Get cleared to fly.
> Go back through the checkpoint again intentionally five minutes later while waiting flight.

I was accused of harboring a bomb
I was 16
I now forever hate the TSA, no exceptions

>>get carded every. single. time. i try to buy liquor
>>sometimes get carded by the same person two or three times a day

I think you got bigger problems alky.

>Be in Sacramento
>I smile and say "hi" to the TSA agent. A black woman.
>Get no smile back. Just "Ticket and Aye-Dee"
That's it, that's the worst experience I had, not getting a smile or hello.

One of them complimented my tie and it felt awkward.

I've been selected for the extra screening and they did birefly touch my penis/balls/ass but it was still through my clothes and it honestly wasn't a problem. The guy doing it wasn't a sicko or a bully, he just had to check some people.

My worst experience with them was a 90 minute wait to get through a metal detector because the airport was so woefully understaffed.

Doing God's work user

In Newark, they wouldn't let me go through for like 20 fucking minutes for no reason.

> be brown
> only self conscious about it at airports
> feel bad for everyone else that they have to see a young brown male at an airport
> being patted down by TSA after body scan (always happens even though im usually high af and super chill)
> see a dick head passenger knock my macbook to the ground
> say wtf and go towards my laptop
> get tackled
> fml

laptop was ok

I said fuck you to one and they made me miss my flight intentionally. I was happy when that faggot shot them up i wish that would happen more often

>That's it, that's the worst experience I had, not getting a smile or hello
;_;

I left a bottle of lube and condoms in my bag. It was akward as fuck. The TSA lady threw the lube in the trash because you can't have liquids.

I forgot about the liquids rule and had some waters from my stay in my carry on. The lady was agreeable, I was just sad about the wasted water

Experienced it firsthand, wasn't very entertaining.

rare

I was flying from Austin to Amarillo and they broke the stitching on a $500 pair of luchesse cowboy boots on a "random check" in one of their back rooms. Apparently a 17 year old white kid flying in-state was a potential terror threat.

The faggots threw my Dove for men body wash out, literally nothing else.

Yeah I'm totally carrying a fucking bomb inside of shampoo. Fuck you TSA.

>be me
>spend $100 and a half hour doing interview
>get Global Entry card
>grandfather into TSA-PRE
>fly through customs in multiple countries
>never any problems

TSA stories are for plebs

None. I don't use the flying jew to travel.

Got asshole fingered and forced to remove nipple rings with a pair of pliars

It was in the year 2010.
I've never liked the taste of mint.. But back then, I chose kid's toothpaste over mint because of the flavor.

I got pulled aside from my family.
"What's in your shoe?"
>"N-n-nothing sir!" in my general nervous manner.

>*searches bag*
>*ask for assistance
>*me nervous about what the problem is

>*They spot something in my bag and start laughing hysterically
"Nope no knife ahahahahahaha"
>*pulls out toothpaste
>*shows other TSA agents helping him
>face blushes cherry red
>"I-i-it's my sisters."

I'll never be the same person as I was before he pulled out blues clues toothpaste..
Don't bully plz, good flavor

Okay, so say you were going to visit Japan. Would you take a refugee raft instead?

When I, a serviceman returning from my second tour of duty in Iraq (with several security clearances) had a nigger take my only shampoo because it was too dangerous. When you're in the military you're in airports a lot - it's a big redpill to servicemen because they realize they're a security apparatus beholden to no one and nothing - outside of the government. That's one of the reasons why by simply being a veteran you're placed on several lists.

Threw out $50 worth of luxury face moisturizer that I just bought and was hardly used.

I love leaving european airports for america. the security guards there are always extra-nice, which I find hilarious because the TSA has someone shouting stuff on repeat and take off your shoes

nice, unfortunately I missed the 9/11 cutoff

>I chose kid's toothpaste over mint because of the flavor
opinion discarded

>Flying to Jamaica to get married in Feb 2002
>Wife gets TSA additional search patdown scrutiny at airport immediate after getting there, annoying, but so be it
>At layover stop, she gets searched AGAIN and spends 10 minutes dicking around answering questions, getting irritating
>Flight then delayed 6 hours, blood pressure rising
>Flight finally arrives, she gets searched AGAIN before being allowed to board for some fucking reason, she's having a meltdown, I have to calm her down or we'll have more shit to deal with soon enough

Fast forward a week -

>Jamaican airport in Montego Bay
>No fucking security whatsoever
>Group of 6 Muslim faggots in robes holding Korans in line next to us
>Wife asks someone at Customs where they're going, hears "I think they're going to Las Vegas", feel better knowing we won't have to fly with them, considering how recent 9/11 was
>Get on plane, see all 6 of those motherfuckers on board
>Remember that Jamaican airport security is a fucking joke
>OH SHIT
>Flight only half full, after reaching cruising altitude, all 6 Muslims take turns going to the bathroom one after another
>FUCKING HELL
>Soon after that, they each move to different seats on plane except 2 that remain in center area, now 2 are in back and 2 are in front
>Pull out Korans and begin reading/praying
>GET US THE FUCK OFF THIS SHIT
>Stewardess notices I'm 280 lb. powerlifter, puts huge black guy up front by me in 3rd row because...well....may as well keep the 2 biggest dudes up front if they try to storm the cockpit
>30 minutes later, all Muslim faggots simultaneously take nap for rest of flight, content that they scared the fuck out of everyone

So, wife gets fucked with by TSA 3 times on way out of country, on way back in, fucking Muslim assholes who set off all red flags can walk on because no TSA in Jamaica

>this faggot eats his toothpaste
Jk brah when i was in kindergarten i ate my spongebob squarepants toothpaste.

Then i learned that shit was bad 4 me.

I got mine in 2014 - not sure what 9/11 cutoff you mean. If you're an American you need only to apply for the GOES and then do an in-person interview at an international airport - I did mine in Miami. It's weird b/c they pull shit from your record that, in my case, I thought was erased, but so long as you get through the interview you're good to go. It's worth the team and beat the hell out of TSA-Pre. I've used it going through customs in four nations, and it whisks you through, though it's not a guarantee that you won't get searched/interrogated etc.

> pls take your electronics out and pass them through the x-ray conveyor
> laptop
> on the other end, a female nigress
> "we need you to turn that on so show it's a real device"
> its dead. so....what do you want?
> she gets on the walkie talkie and a fat black man stumbles over
> immediately hostile
> "sir, you need to turn that on, if you're not cooperating you're not getting on the plane."
> hey, uh, its not going to turn on, the battery is completely dead.
> "ARE YOU GOING TO COMPLY OR NOT"
> i don't know what the fuck you want
> the moment the f-bomb drops he brings his radio up to his mouth and requests backup
> "sir you're causing a disturbance, i'm going to have to ask you to step aside while we determine you are not a threat to other passengers"
> other TSA agents begin to gather, i can notice one in the back unclipping his tazer from the holster
> I start getting pissed
> BRING ME YOUR SUPERVISOR RIGHT NOW.
> "sir, you are causing a-"
> PLEASE STOP TALKING AND BRING ME YOUR SUPERVISOR.
> texas standoff while radio is used
> an older white man with a mustache appears
> 'I'd like to bring this laptop with me in my carry-on."
> He looks to the other TSA mongoloids, "did he refuse to put it through the conveyor or something?"
> absolute silence
> he takes one look at the monitor above the conveyor, which shows an image of my laptop
> "yeah, you're good, have a nice flight."
> HOLEEE FUCK IM SO TRIGGERED
> order 4 bloody marys on flight

some people you just can't give even the tiniest bit of authority, or they will fucking taze you because their day is boring.

Everyone can get TSA pre approved, I did mine last October.

They're actually pretty fucking frinedly in Europe when you're white. When I was in Sicily I brought back some coke between my asscheeks. Airport security is pretty fucking loose here m8. Could have carried a gun without a problem

>coming home with 500 worth dollars of cheese from France
>they take out some fucking testers and open some of the cheese from its packages
>get their disgusting hands all over parts of the cheese
>waste 1/10th of some of the cheeses testing it
FUCKKK TSA FUCKING RUINING MY CHEESE

ah, I thought you said you were on some designated flyer program before the TSA existed and the record got transferred.

the pre-check seems like a useless scam, but I didn't know about global entry. does it expire like a passport, charge like an annual membership, or last forever?

dunno if it's worth it too. I can fly maybe 2x per year due to job constraints

I love the TSA. The following is a true story

> be me, 18 and rest of family
> obviously upper middle class white family traveling
>2 hour line on security
> we get picked for "random check"
> TSA guy shine light on our hands l, scanning for drug/explosive residue
> sees none
> 30 seconds later sitting in the terminal sipping Starbucks while people 2 hours ahead of us are just walking in

Profiling done right. No qualms with them

airline pilot here

ama

Honestly the TSA guys were pretty cool. I left a knife in my laptop bag once from.. fuck if I remember and freaked out cause all I ever saw was they were terrible people. They said next time be more careful and stuck inside there pocket. I either got robbed or saved, not sure which but that was the worse/best thing to happen with me.

>Be in Florida International after Disney Trip for Senior Year
>Groggy af familam
>Go into the machine that images you naked because it "makes me safer"
>Machine makes a beep
herewego.jpeg
>Already hate the TSA for being hopeless government bloat
>Older man brings me aside and has me stand up, legs spread, with arms outstretched at my sides
>proceeds to give me a full on fucking pat down
>Pats my right leg
>Shorts have like a button on them because theyre cargos
Fuck you I like holding things
>Man pats it for like 6 seconds
>Brings over metal detector and scans my goddamn leg
"Its a button" I tell the man
>He undoes my pocket to reveal the button
Oh okay move along sir.

>willingly submits fingerprints, iris scan, background check, etc to federal government

I have had literally zero problems with the TSA. I didn't fly during their initial creation and soon after backlash though. The stuff about the naked scans and aggressive bag searches.

You can't have shoes because of that shoebomber thing in 1973

Google it. GOES takes more work than TSA-Pre but it's worth it if you fly even once or twice annually. I fly at least 20x a year, so it's definitely worth it for me - even if you don't fly much, like a passport, I consider it entry-level prepping. Do it while you have the time and you'll be happy you did it when you don't have the time.

What do you think about the opening scene of TDKR?

I get your point, but...

>willingly doesn't make it easier to GTFO when the getting may not be easy.

the fuck is TDKR

Pretty sure everyone gets finger printed as a child, I remember doing that.

>going through the TSA like usual
>my hearing aids piss off the alarm
>put in second line for further search
>in behind some Pajeet that was trying to bring water bottles and misc bathroom bottled materials on his carry on
>he argued with TSA for like 20 minutes until finally being escorted out
I was still 45 minutes early for my flight but Wew.

Out of the twenty or so times I've been through I got a full body search for wearing jeans in summer. With bonus chemical hand swab thing.

Other than that, pretty fast. And the stuff you can get on is amazing. Honestly surprised more incidents don't happen.

>Land in Dallas
>Friend has to gone to the foreigner line upon disembarking for visa issues
>See him going through customs
>Make a point to be a loud asshole getting the attention of him and the security guard
>Security guard asks him if he knows me
>Yes
>Security guard apologizes, and lets him through

Overall, bretty good 5/5, but I'm also not sure if TSA has anything to do with customs.

...

My only experience with the TSA (in JFK Airport, NYC a few weeks ago):
>Everyone is nice, some even made jokes about having bad passport photos
>Get up to metal detector
>Guy in charge says they're "doing it different today"
>Keep everything in bag, put it on conveyer belt detector
>Keep shoes on and walk through detector
>Took 10 minutes from start to finish
I was expecting 3 hours of hell based on everything I was on the news recently...
I don't know why it was different because it wasn't even TSA-Pre.


Coming back into the USA almost all the CBP officers were rude as fuck and one was a straight up nigger faggot.

only if your school district or maybe your mom/dad were cucked

regardless this would be local city/county or state police, not the federal government. enjoy being on a permanent terrorist watch list

>Thinking the babyface is the problem

First of all, grow a beard.

Second of all, get some fucking help you alcoholic.

i fly literally every week as an airline pilot; one thing you DO NOT DO is fuck with US customs.

They're not being 'rude'. they're looking out for so much different shit that they don't have the capacity to be friendly. just walk up, hand them your forms, answer questions, and leave.

The only time I've ever flown was when the company I was working for abandoned me in Salt Lake City with an expired ID.

>Show paper ID because my physical copy is at home in Wisconsin
>"Do you have any other form of ID?"
>"Nope, just this and my debt card"
>"Okay we'll have to run you through secondary screening."
>Go through the big x-ray machine
>Set my stuff on the counter
>"I'll have to swab your items down for residue, is that alright?"
>"Yeah sure, whatever you've gotta do."
>Swab my stuff, stick it in the machine
>Pat me down
>Smell my boot
>"Here's your stuff back, thanks for bearing with us, have a good flight."

Wasn't bad, I didn't even have to wait more than 3 minutes in line.

I had a part time job at an airport as a tard wrangler. Had to pick up people with disabilities and fat fucks at check in and then wheel them through security to their flights.

I had to get some kind of special background check to do this job and had a badge that let me take tunnels under the airport to bypass TSA. Of course had to go through the checkpoint when I was pushing someone in a wheelchair. Would go through TSA 20 to 30 times in a day. Some of them were very nice and helpful. About 25 percent of the TSA agents were power tripping assholes or typical government shit tier employees.

its called a SIDA badge

>be me
>be based white redpilled bro
>see cuck muslim try to bomb airport
>i take out my gun and shoot him
>all the tsa niggers get fired after that
>become local hero
>marry hot conservative white gf
>redpill her

what airline do you work for

the only bad experience i had with TSA was they took my really nice ethernet cable crimpers because apparently you can't have any "tools" on the airplane over 7 inches.

What the fuck am I going to do with crimpers? Beat someone with them? I could use some nuts and a sock for that.

But seriously fuck TSA, they don't make anyone any safer.

How many brown niggers are on here? Jesus it seems like every comment is muh brown muh scared. I hate the TSA because it's all niggers, I don't to to get examine by a monkey.

>go thru TSA at SF airport (only been there once, forget the name)
>have skateboard with me
>walk thru detector, told to go for extra screening
>ohshit.jpg
>TSA Mexican says "you can't bring this on the plane" pointing to my board
>yessir.png (even though I've flown hundreds of times with it)
>walk off with an ounce of weed still in my bag 8^)

>mfw

At least that mexican's son got a free board!

endeavor

I was flying from Eugene to Sydney with a 15 hour layover from hell in Portland and another 2 hour layover in Hawaii. I went outside in Honolulu to have a smoke and after 40 minutes in line at the TSA the TSA refused to let me back through because my middle name wasn't on the boarding pass. They sent me back to American Airlines to get the boarding pass reprinted. But it was an Hawaiian Airlines flight so with 10 minutes left until boarding time I had to literally run as fast as I could out of the terminal over to another building at the airport. After 25 minutes of being of being fucked around by Hawaiian Airlines, who couldn't find my reservation, I got my ticket, I could hear my name being called for final boarding call. I had to go through a smaller TSA outpost at the side waiting for them to scan my carry on bag and shoes then as soon as I was through I grabbed them and pissbolted barefoot like an Olympic sprinter across two terminals with no shoes on until I got I got to the gate mere seconds before they shut the door.

Yeah I made my flight but fuck those TSA goons.

You take in more radiation from flying on the plane then the scanner. If you're wondering why people were being rude, it's because you're a passive aggressive faggot and massive pain in the ass complicating what should be a simple procedure. Some dumb fucks can't remember TSA agents are human and just trying to get through the workday

*want

Yep, that's it. Allowed access to the secured areas.

What a shit job that was. I was desperate for money though and it was a little extra money that didn't interfere with my full time job.

My worst experiencd is that I never get to see bimbos like this while in line

Don't have any because I don't go to the airport and let people molest me.

was it really that shit? i see those guys daily and they all seem like they're off in a different world, just pushing people around. must be good exercise, and tips, at least... right?

My grandfather use to tell me the good days where they treated you like gods and gave way more than a bag of nuts and mini vodka bottle. To this day, I still blame the Muslims on screwing up air travel. Now it's pain in ass.

When I was going to my sister's wedding in Colorado, I really, REALLY had to take a dump. It took me 45 minutes to get through the line and I had a turtlehead poking out the entire time. The x-ray probably showed me with 10 lbs of shit lodged throughout my intestines.

>worst
a new TSA agent was at my small airport. He picked up the carabiner that I use as a keychain, opened it and held it up to his boss like "is this a weapon". Boss shook his head.

Another TSA agent saw a flashing red light under some papers in the little plastic bowl for small items and probably thought it was a bomb but it was my work blackberry.

>best
I was rushing through Dulles, like I had to get from the ticket counter to the gate in 35 minutes and they have those son of a bitch people movers.

I was visibly agitated trying to get through the line fast as fuck but there were some some slow white women and a boy with them being slow as fuck. A nice black, maybe Ethiopian, TSA agent woman waved me forward, help take my laptop out of the bag and pushed other peoples shit back up the conveyor so I could get through. I was and still am very grateful for her. Would have Tej with her.

lol no. air travel got fucked up when it was released to the public sector back in the 70s.... thats why the 80s, 90s, 2000s, and the nows are totally different than then.

Its a long story, if you care to listen.

>2006, flying from DC to Orlando for my first national level swim meet
>have to take off my belt, shoes and empty my pockets
>walk through metal detector, get wanded afterwards
>collect my stuff, put my belt and shoes back on

>had a chubby
>went in the microwave scanner
>I swear I was standing in there for a good four minutes
You're welcome TSA person.

>Buying liquor from the same place two or three times a day

Never knew about that.

>Get to the last guy
>Asks about why I filled out food on declaration sheet
>Tell him if I have chocolate
>Mumbles some nigger shit
>"Pardon?"
>GO!
He hurt my feelings a little bit desu.

a film with big guys.

None, I've actually had really good luck with them.
I remember forgetting to take my Leatherman out of my backpack one time I was flying back home on leave.
The dude recognized my muhreen ass because of my stupid ass haircut and my cac card, told me not to worry about it and let me board with it.
Pretty fucking based.
I also was seen naked by a qt tsa agent with huge tits in their x ray machine, she didn't know who she saw but I know who saw me and that made my dick hard.