Be Clark Kent

>be Clark Kent
>Emergency, i know since i work at the Planet
>Fucking lois asks me, hey, let's go together
>EVERYTIME FUCK THIS, have to go to not cause suspicion.
Hey, Clark, where are you going?
>*sweating* hehe, just a sec
>Do my job as superman
>return
Where were you?
>just taking a piss
Are you Superman?
>*sweating* N-no, how could i be, i have glasses
YOU ALWAYS TAKE a piss when superman comes out, and as soon as he leaves you cone back. I'm pretty sure you are...
What to do guys?

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>Emergency, i know since i work at the Planet

Seems a bit high and mighty that you to screen "Emergencies" through one newspaper through ONE metropolitan area.

Also if Lois gets in your face just ask if she's so smart why do you have to get your ass bailed out by superman all the time.

Super-sonic slap upside the head as to induce momentary confusion/memory loss/distraction.

You may have to kill her to protect your secret identity.
I know it hurts, but it's for the greater good.

>I knew it, now tell me! I'm going to reveal the world about this, and i'm going to get NOBEL, and i'm going to get CHADS!

PTell her your superman, and use it to get great super sex for saving the city.

I don't know if is possible, Superman would literally DESTROY that pussy.

How do people not know clark is superman? He doesn't wear a mask or anything. Do the glasses make that big a difference?

Wait Clark, I'm not following any of this. What does Superman have to do with your urinary problems distracting you from work?

Actually, i've read something about it, basically when he is Clark, he is not buffed up, he doesn't sand straight with the chest out, and act like a puss.
But when he is Superman, he gels his hair, gets is chest out and don't watch people directly in the face...

There are a lot of things he does
He slouches, he stutters, he avoids eye contact, I'm sure he uses a different voice, does a bunch of things that Superman wouldn't do and the only people who would really be able to tell would be Lex and Lois because those are the only two people he's ever around as both Clark and Superman
So it's not like it's everyone in the world, because most people see him from far away or are never around him long enough to commit his face to memory

But why Lex Luthor hasn't figured it out, he's just an idiot about certain things
Lois Lane is just a regular idiot

>Superman
>Generic looking well built dude with black hair, no distinguishing features
>Hardly ever get a good look at him because he's so fast
>Lot of guys try to look like him subconsciously because of who he is, for example, "the Superman swoosh"


Besides if your coworker looked kinda like Noah Syndergaard would you think it was secretly him

Why the fuck would he pretend to be a regular dude

Superman has the best disguise in that people know he's an alien that lives at the fortress of solitude, why the fuck would he ever work an 8 to 4 job like everyone else

It's a bunch of factors that work together.
With the S, red cape, and red trunks, not a lot of people pay attention to his face.

And then there's his posture change. Frank Quietly detailed it great in the notes for ASS, but Christopher Reeve displays it PERFECTLY in the '78 movie.

A few that he hasn't told like Jimmy and some at the Planet know and just assume he has a good reason.
As for the world at large, his face isn't everywhere like say, Bruce Wayne. Though there was a time where he was a news anchor, I think.
And there's a few guys out there that also look like Superman, and they didn't turn out to be the real deal either.

Sometimes the glasses are said to hide his "amazingly blue eyes", by distorting them a bit.

Also most people don't think Superman has a secret identity.
He doesn't hide his face, his name is Kal-El, and he lives at the Fortress of Solitude.

PERRY STOP

Shitposting aside, Chris Reeve really friggin' nailed that distinction between Clark Kent and Superman, even if it was the more cheesy, bumbling Kent from the Silver Age. I mean, I look at him here, and I KNOW he's playing Superman... but I honestly wouldn't make the connection between the two.

You don't read many Superman comics, do you. He has really vibrant blue eyes that stand out, which the glasses dull. He slouches and wears clothes bigger than his size as clark kent, and he vibrates his face when people are taking pictures.

>Do the glasses make that big a difference?
You'd actually be surprised. A lot of my classmates don't recognize me the few times I show up wearing my glasses.

Know and understand the importance of subtlety

you know what's interesting to me?
Clark totally has to do his hair every time he becomes superman

>You don't read many Superman comics, do you

You don't read many posts coherently, do you?

I'm aware of the blue eye shit from Birthright and the way Quitely draws him as Clark.

Jimmy Olson laughed at the idea of Superman spending his time as a random guy in an office building. Superman being an alien is public knowledge, hence why people don't assume he would have a secret identity. It's the simplest and biggest part of the explanaton.

He just swooshes it to the side. In real life that wouldn't work, but he's Superman so whatever.

Flying at super speed slicks it back for him

Super speed to appear both places at once and have an interview then and there.

Or use ventriloquism and say "I heard that" in a Superman voice.

He would have to apply some sort of product to get it to stay like that

Again, it's not plausible when factoring real life into it, but he's Superman so whatever.

Why can't he keep a little packet of gel with him?
That wouldn't be the most farfetched thing to happen in comics

It's pretty convincing when a decent actor does it.
youtube.com/watch?v=BIaF0QKtY0c

Then Luthor spikes it with Kryptonite.

OH SNAP

A lot of big newspapers would monitor police radio, and have informants that tip them off when something newsworthy is happening.

News is a business, and speed is essential. Thus, they do things to ensure you can get a story faster than others might.

BTW, the most important question is:
What is average kryptonian dick size?
10"?

Throw the bitch into space.

Lois, you watched Clark lift a mountain over his head. He punched a man so hard he disintegrated. He once carried the planets in the solar system on a rope.

You see all this, and you want to threaten him.

>grab spare super suit
>find buff chad and force him into super suit
>take him to the next state over and throw him
>hurry back to gf in time to point out "Superman" flying across the sky
>excuse yourself again to go catch chad
You're welcome OP

...

>this little dweeby kid at work asked me if I play DOTA and said I look just like a famous DOTA streamer
>mfw he wouldn't stop staring at me all day

Isn't it implied in All Star Superman that people at the Daily Planet (apart from Lois) know that Clark is Superman, but that they just never mention it?

Are you a famous DOTA streamer?

No.

l2greentext nigger

funny post, anyway

>Lois, I wear GLASSES. Like, to see. How could I be Superman?

>Clark Kent
>secretly Superman
Top fucking kek. I bet you believe that meme about Wayne being Batman to?

At the end when Clark is shot it is definitively implied that they got it. They just don't mention it, particularly because Lex doesn't seem to have noticed. But they didn't know before that

Yeah just because some random dude looks like Superman doesn't mean it's him. Even Superman isn't so super that he can save the world on a regular basis and still hold on to a demanding job.