British boarding school

>British boarding school
>no one has sex

Do wizards get STDs?

Dullest franchise

...

Forgetticus!

lolwut

Did you really expect anything else from the dullest franchise in the history of movie franchises written for people whose imaginative lives are confined to TV cartoons, and the exaggerated (more exciting, not threatening) mirror-worlds of soaps, reality TV and celebrity gossip? Each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the series’ only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert.

Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody, just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.

>a-at least the books were good though
"No!"
The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."

I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.

...

Not even the raunchiest of sex scenes could have saved the dullest franchise in the history of movie franchises. Seriously each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the series’ only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert.

Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody, just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.

>a-at least the books were good though
"No!"
The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."

I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.

It is implied that they all have "sex" with the ghost in the jakuzzi

It was implied

what a delightfully avant-garde take on a classic meme

there we go!

moany mirtle? how do you fuck a ghost?

Just because Rowling never wrote a sex scene doesn't mean they don't happen

Huff = /r9k/

The picture is what kills me every time.

The fuck

Don't know how, but those gingers were definitely banging her. You just know.

There are subtle hints of it all the time.

Why wasn't the school 35% Muslim?

Sure they don't.

lol rowling is a fucking hack beyond belief
it's unbelievable

fucking ghost kike bitch

Shouldn't have come to Sup Forums today

>British magic school
>not daily obligatory Salah in all classrooms
Fuck this shit

>House full of girls with low self esteem
Based Rowling

like clackwok and pottery this pasta arives

I forgot what the 3rd B was. Buggery, beatings annnddd...?

Whad dhe fug

this is straight up degeneracy

this is fake, stop baiting

>He doesn't drink a Polyjuice potion laced with the hair of the hottest bitch on campus before getting gangbanged by his mates

What are you, a faggot?

>wizards tend to be more conservative in such things
>they have group masturbation sessions in their teens
do normal teens usually have wild gangbangs?

He already said british.

>he didn't get invited to the tuesday night orgies in high school

So why weren't the girls wearing hijab? Why were there female professors?

Group masturbation is not a wild gangbang.
>implying you never rubbed one out with a bro in the room doing the same

did the room smell of pussyjuice

>its not gay if you suck your bros off ironically

>there are people on Sup Forums who had no sexual experiences during high school and still haven't in their 20s

clearly co-ed, faggot

>implying you never jerked each other off to see what it was like then didn't talk about it ever again and you end up being the best man in his wedding

Not what I said at all. Re-read.

there were some scenes with a lot of snogging during the prom night thing but they deleted it

Mate that's super gay

Its retroactively not gay af if one of you gets married :^)

>you will never be at a magic boarding school and experience teenage love with other young magicians
>you will never experience teenage love

THESE WOUNDS WONT SEEM TO HEAL

...

I believe that's a potion

LOL
It's totally okay have a cock inside you when you're a kid
it's just experimenting

It takes place in the 90's. This bit youre trying to do sucks.

Why the fuck did you include my post here, faggot? Read it again.

>tfw he ends up becoming openly gay
Wtf bro it was no homo.

me and my friend and his cousin masturbated in the same room multiple times to the same porn

usually it would be us watching porn on our PSP's but anyways pretty sure my friend was gay

There's a scene in current times where they're dropping off their kids. Why doesn't the train station get bombed?

woah
made me think

Even the Beatles did this:

> For boys in their mid-teens, most of their sex education came from their peers: skewed anatomical knowledge, improbable dirty jokes, stories of dubious authenticity about girls they barely knew, and of course, masturbation circles. John’s crowd tended to meet at Nigel Whalley’s house in Vale Road, near Menlove Avenue. Nigel played tea-chest bass with The Quarrymen until he abandoned his instrument in the road one day while trying to escape from two Woolton teddy boys. He took on the role of managing The Quarrymen instead. His father was a chief superintendent, head of Liverpool Police A Division, whose duties meant that his teenage son was often left alone in the house at night.

> Says Paul: “We used to have wanking sessions when we were young at Nigel Whalley’s house in Woolton. We’d stay overnight and we’d all sit in armchairs and we’d put all the lights out and being teenage pubescent boys, we’d all wank. What we used to do, someone would say, ‘Brigitte Bardot.’ ‘Oooh!’ That would keep everyone on par, then somebody, probably John, would say, ‘Winston Churchill.’ ‘Oh, no!’ and it would completely ruin everyone’s concentration.”

> (John later took the experience and used it as the basis for his skit, Four In Hand, in Kenneth Tynan’s Oh! Calcutta! Tynan copped out and substituted the Lone Ranger for John’s original Winston Churchill; nor did he follow John’s suggestion that they should actually masturbate on stage.)

...

Think you might be the gay one, homo

Me and my friends used to masturbate together too, but if the wizards are more conservati9ve and are doing this, what is the rest of the population is doing?
Makes you ponder, doesn't it?

...

Me my friend, and this girl I knew would watch porn and dry hump her.

>took a huge dump
Immersion ruined. pretty sure that's an American expression.

I'm beginning to think that this might be a fake account.

I am eternally grateful I got laid before I was 30.

Agreed. Brits have a stupid cute word for everything.

Good luck getting it after

so did you, bro

Nah man she wants me to come inside her whenever we're together now.

Like a drippity ploop?

Is this actress related to Ramsey Snow/Bolton man?

Getting laid in your teens and early 20s is easy. Mid and late 20s women start getting married or are looking for serious relationships so it gets harder. Then in your 30s it gets easy again as women get divorced or desperate.

A boshy loo lump

That´s actually a good thing matte... well, not for blue balls Harry but it sure is for us readers/ viewers.

Rowling could have done it, easily... but she is a good writter. If you want teenage romance and sex go watch twilight.

In my 30s now, user. But at least I never went to high school.

All Brits are. It's a small island with a genepool that has gone through many bottlenecks. Don't let current population numbers fool you, they're all related/inbred.

I read all the Harry Potter books as a child. I have seen all the movies. I can hardly remember them and I often confuse their plot points with each other.

Quality screenshot, my brotha.

>Sup Forums thinks this is real

Thank god for immigrants.

Yh because literally anywhere else is much better.

Reminder that 1 in 11 people pass through london at some point in their lives. Cunt

underrated post

a beef olive

I once heard a friend refer to it as a chocolate masterwork.

Feels bad man

A flippity-floppity humpty-doo flump torry I wish I was fucking dead plippity plop sweetie poo

an 'excuse me chap, i must commit an act most ungentlemanly'

are phoneposters even trying anymore

>don't let current population numbers fool you
You had one job.
I'm not saying your parents are literally siblins, this goes back thousands of years. The population of your little island periodically getting cut by half every time a microbe made it through the channel both proves it and reinforced it.
And yes everywhere else was much better.

hahah that episode

>Reminder that 1 in 11 people pass through london at some point in their lives

Wow, sounds like a filthy place to live.

Except I live on the border, where we've had multiple invasions from sturdy, swedish and danish stock to mix into the local bloodstream along with the celtic ancestry.

The island has always been multiculti.

Paris didn't stop using cesspools until the 20th century. Meanwhile London had the one-of-a-kind Sewer system by the 1800s.

Overblown. With some exceptions they were only passing by and establishing trade routes.

...

Europe sounds like trash. How else could you explain the mass exodus to the US?

Danish =/= Saxons. Where we get the term Anglo-Saxon, which is a pretty big demographic deal

Swedish =/= Vikings. Both classic forms and the later Norman forms.

Suck a my big dirty white dick.

Yh to be fair those big wide open spaces must have looked like pretty attractive places to take a shit.

PLEASE TELL ME THIS IS REAL

>"she has nice...skin"

wut did harry mean by this