You know how everybody loved Ewoks in Episode VI? I hope you're ready for more with these pieces of shit called porgs

You know how everybody loved Ewoks in Episode VI? I hope you're ready for more with these pieces of shit called porgs.
>Native to planet with the first Jedi temple
>Chewbacca has a scene with one
>They look like retarded penguins and ducks and owls mixed together in one
>Obviously meant to make/sell toys just like fucking Ewoks were
I can't wait until the New Order gets taken down by a flock of porgs using sticks and stones and they think C3P0 is their god and he can also speak Porg-tugese.

It's almost funny how shameless Disney is with this blatant you advertisement. I'm betting they'll be inconsequential to the plot though

>Porg-tugese

Fucking kek'd

...

How do you do fellow Star Wars fans

half penguins, half ducks, and half owls?

I don't know what the fuck they are but they are obviously designed with "SELL TOYS, BE CUTE, BE INOFFENSIVE" in mind just like Minions.

...

so is it gonna be like Nibbler?

I want to fuck the porg

>funny

No, it's infuriating. We both know fucking stuffed version of this shit is going to be flying off the shelves.

Those fuckers will maybe be in a few scenes and that's it, while the Ewoks take up are literally half of ROTJ's screentime.

>maybe be in a few scenes
there's one in the fucking falcon
almost guaranteed to be the dedicated comic relief animal
like that chicken in moana
this is fucking disney we're talking about

Does he really need to do the Puss In Boots eyes?

>Porg-tugese.

Clever

This is going to be like the jump from Phantom Menace to Attack of the Clones all over again, isn't it? The apologists for the previous film are going to be completely BTFO'd when none of the incompetence they misattributed to foreshadowing has any bearing on the events of the sequel, and it doubles/triples down on everything bad about the previous instalment while adding several new terrible things of its own into the mix.

Just like TFA-AoTC, I'm going to predict this film will make exactly half as much worldwide - just scraping past $1.6 billion.

>Those fuckers will maybe be in a few scenes
They are native to the planet the first Jedi temple was on and there was one in the Falcon so it's guaranteed these fuckers are going to be in most of the movie when they are introduced. Probably have Kylo blow up the Jedi temple planet and then have the one porg on the falcon make sad faces and noises :`(

Nightmare-inducing porg spin-offs fucking when?

And you guys had the gall to mock Lucas for making Jar Jar Binks

>pork
>force pork
Force confirmed anti-kosher and anti-halal
AYYY LMAO

>Inconsequential to the plot
>He didn't read the leaks

>Implying that awful racist character isn't worse than stupid cuddly merchandise machines

I actually have a bit of hope for this film since Rian Johnson is a talented filmmaker who has more style and vision than J.J. Abrams but I wouldn't be surprised if everything you said turns out to be true. History could repeat itself.

The porg will probably be a minor character who occasionally does cute stuff, Jar Jar was a major character who was constantly talking and constantly doing stupid stuff.

>racist character

>Talks like a stereotypical black guy
>Acts dumb and stupid and bumbling like he's high or drunk
>His eyes are yellow and bloodshot
>Not racist

You've never been to Brixton, have you?

>character acts dumb and speaks funny
>you automatically assume he's supposed to be making fun of blacks
No, YOU are the racist.

>Character is obviously meant to represent a racial stereotype
>"By recognizing that this character is a racial stereotype, YOU are actually the racist one here, I don't see skin color haha, I don't even know what a stereotype is and am going to feign ignorance, take that :)"

>he sees racial stereotypes and discrimination everywhere, even when there is none
>this is the mind of a leftist

>People getting angry at a business trying to make money

>Talks like a stereotypical black guy
Have you ever met a black person?

>They look like retarded penguins and ducks and owls mixed together in one
More like baby seals mixed with penguins.

nigger

>sw general on Sup Forums
fucking hell i totally forgot about that shithole

thankfully, no

How fucking unoriginal do you have to be to copy someone's post on Sup Forums and pretend it's your own on another board?

>member grumpy cat?

Hire me, Lucas

>complaining about cute creatures in a movie made for kids

wow a movie that has been mainly merchandising since the 1970's and since then
making merchandisable characters, who knew

3 2 3 4 4 2 3 and

>member grumpy cat?

yeah, bro he's getting all that anonymous credit. i hate what you fucking redditors have done to this site

The humor with Nibbler was that Leela (and to a lesser extent other crewmembers) treated him like a generic fluffy cute alien pet, but he was actually both a mass-devouring monster and a talking genius. I always thought that was an odd choice to make.

The porg are all over the merchandise so far. They're in the movie way more than they should be.

Also if this is all on Luke's island...why the fuck did we need a fucking MAP to get to him? Fuck these movies, man.

...

>he angrily tries to gaslight instead of thinking about where he went wrong both in this conversation and in life
On a serious note, I never thought Jar Jar was supposed to be a racist stereotype, just a retarded character. He is still worse than CGI penguin seals

One of my favorite anecdotes about Gary Larson, the creator of The Far Side, is that he made pic related before ever seeing the movie, and then years later he was on a plane and it was the in-flight movie, and he ended up being actually entertained by it. It was one of the only times he felt compelled to publish an apology over one of his comics.

>Also if this is all on Luke's island...why the fuck did we need a fucking MAP to get to him? Fuck these movies, man.

The map business made zero sense.

They can cross the galaxy in mere days. There's no way there's uncharted areas.

Now, saying he's on an undisclosed planet is fine, and that's what they should have done.

>Native to planet with the first Jedi temple
pretty sure Tython isnt canon

Literally every other cutesy character in the history of film was designed to appeal to kids and sell toys. Why does this trigger Sup Forums so much all of a sudden? Why does literally everything about Star Wars now trigger Sup Forums?

TFA was decent. You should probably just accept that instead of pretend that it's not because you don't want it to be.

>TFA was decent.

No, it wasn't. Please stop this meme.

Pretty sure TFA being bad because gurls trigger you is the meme user.

Sup Forums is filled with contrarians

I can't wait to see critics/RLM/normies defend this because omg remember ewoks

what does that even mean? no one is a fan of "very obvious midgets in bear costumes"

>RLM
>omg remember

RLM is going to defend this using the meme that they created for insulting Star Wars laziness?

TFA is bad because it has a bad script, bad acting, and bad effects. There being a vagina in it doesn't mean shit.

>bad script, bad acting, and bad effects

But this is literally made up. The story structure is a literal too similar to ANH but that's pretty much it.

Is no one else extremely freaked out by these things? This isn't cute at all. I keep expecting its eyes to split open revealing teeth underneath.

But Jar Jar is a black guy, you idiot.

>a literal too similar
What did she mean by this?

anyone else jar jars actor was a collossal fuck up? his voice was so annoying. should have put some wisecracking guy like bobcat goldswaith in there.

His whole character was supposed to be comedic relief, which is why everything about the character is hateable.

like half of the galaxy is uncharted because it's fucking huge and exploring is slow because if you jump to hyperspace in some unmapped area you run into something and die

That thing looks fucking adorable and I can't wait to give Disney my hard earned money for a stuffed toy of it. I like cute things and I have money to buy them. Fuck you.

>But this is literally made up.

Oh fuck off. If you think "that is a story for another time!" is in any way, shape, or form competent scriptwriting, you are the problem.

Every single disney movies has some dumb ass character like this, some cute funny character made with the purpose to sell money to children and manchildren
K2SO
BB-8
Groot
The chicken in Moana
These things

sell merchandise*

looks like it has down syndrome

you see, the porgs are the key to all this
because they're funnier characters than we've ever had before
if we can get them working
if... we can get them.... working....

they will still be relevant to the story, since the director said the porgs are the source of the force

>a different user replies to my post calling my post gaslighting when all I did was point out a fallacy of the left
Hello samefag.

RLM will shit all over these things what are you talking about

Shit always goes down the drain in the entertainment industry when it's about selling toys.

Young Justice for example, a great animated series was cancelled because nobody was buying the toys. The themes were too adult for the audience they were after. Apparently the writers didn't particularly give a fuck that kids weren't watching it.

They released a half hour long video shitting all over the Han Solo movie. I don't think they're going to let this slide.

>all of a sudden

I've always seen Sup Forums criticize the Ewoks.

Also it's worse when Disney does it.

At least the Ewoks gave little people jobs. These fuckers are just a pure cash-in.

>run into something and die
You can only run into things when you leave hyperspace and you can apparently do it and almost immediately stop as seen in the last movie.

You would need only the vaguest idea of where things like stars are to jump to that part of the galaxy and take measurements for better jumps.

K2SO was pretty cringey

Omg I want this timeline so bad

what

Meant to reply to the bobcat jar jar thing. It sounds amazing