>The first thing Snape asks Harry is “Potter! What would I get if I added powdered root of asphodel to an infusion of wormwood?” According to Victorian Flower Language, asphodel is a type of lily meaning ‘My regrets follow you to the grave’ and wormwood means ‘absence’ and also typically symbolized bitter sorrow. If you combined that, it meant ‘I bitterly regret Lily’s death’.
Holy fucking shit!
Other urls found in this thread:
en.wikipedia.org
twitter.com
I wonder what you would need to add in order to make Harry Potter not one of the dullest franchises in the history of movie franchises. Seriously each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the series’ only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert.
Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody?just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.
>a-at least the books were good though
"Brap!"
The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."
I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.
you're doing god's work
reminder that the nba killed jordans dad so he would retire
what does this add to the scene
...
Severus Snape is also an anagram of Persues Evans, Evans being Lily's surname.
I think that if you combined that, it really meant
>Potter! What would I get if I added powdered root of my regrets follow you to the grave to an infusion of absence?”
What a lazy opening
>"Potter! What would I get if I added 12 inches of blackroot to an infusion of lilypusy?"
Never caught this one before now
Too fast fake fuck
And then Harry replies saying "I don't know sir...but CLEARLY Hermione knows."
Does this mean Hermione knew about Snape and Lily all that time?!
Is Harry Potter worth reading as an adult if you never experienced it as a child and never saw the movies?
"No!"
>that shitty intro
Wasted trips.
It won't be the same experience, but it's still a good read. Depends if you're into fantasy and magic and stuff. Do note that the books grow slightly grimmer with each new one, so don't judge the series by the first book.
>Snape asks a first year about a sixth course potion that is basically coma in a bottle
Did he not read the course guide? Not even motherfucking Voldemort would know about it. What a vindicative cuck.
I think this guy actually starts these threads specifically to post his pasta. In which case, you're my favorite autist on here alongside the barneyfag guy.
Yes, but is not a very intelectual reading, and it hangs so much in itself that you end up reading not because you want to know more, but because it's a very, VERY light reading that you breeze through.
Is like watching one deux ex machina after the other in a setting in which deus ex machinas exists, normal humans can't use them, and wizard humans can but don't because they are accustomed to deux ex stickandstonas.
So EVERYTHING can happen, but very common things happen, and friendship and love is the real answer.
Save yourself some money and read fanfiction off the internet.
>Poor as fuck parents who abused him
>Ugly as fuck
>Half blood sorted into Slytherin during Voldemort's first nazi reign
>Bullied by rich, popular, quidditch captaining pureblooded chad's
>headmaster sweeps you aside when your tormentors almost kill you
>Only childhood friend and later obsessive love interest ditches you after a fit of rage caused by chad
>later marries chad
>unknowingly gives a prophecy to voldemort, putting a target on his former friend
>becomes Dumbledore's ass slave
>she dies anyway
>forced into teaching what is possibly the gayest part of magic school, potions class
>eleven years later he is forced to witness the literal reincarnation of chad walking into his living hell
It's a couple of people apparently. Even genuine fans who like discussing Harry Potter on Sup Forums post it. Thread wouldn't be the same without it.
I know I did, a couple of times.
It was an honour, really.
Almost like duty, to be the one left with the torch to do it.
Absolutely horrible literature. MacGuffins out the ass and it is blatantly apparent that the money-grubbing author wrote herself into a corner. Steer clear and save yourself the time.
How am I supposed to understand fanfiction if I don't know anything about the original?
The fuck... It's a whole new scene son.
One of my favorite bits of the books was finding out Harry's father wasn't this idealized good guy and that he and his mates regularly physically and mentally abused a young Snape.
Also what are you talking about, Potions is like the best subject. The students just hate it because Snape's a dick all the time. Brewing potions that can do just about anything is much better than Defence Against the Dark Arts, which ranges from boring defensive spells to tending to magical creatures for some reason even though there's already a whole subject dedicated to that.
>can do just about anything
>Most are variations of "it will kill/cripple you"
>The rest are variations of "It makes you do funny stuff but will wear off
>Only three or four "It makes you do impossible stuff, but will wear off/cripple you
Imagine being a chef. Danger is an awesome trait for a hobby. Danger in cooking exceptionally hard meals with cooking times ranging 2 3 hours to a year, makes it both boring and stupid.
Any thing that has a prominent fanfiction community also is likely to have plenty members who have never experienced the original but still know all about it because they for some god forsaken reason read enough fanfiction that they can piece the details together themselves.
It's weird but suprisingly common.
Why not just create a "polyjuice" spell?
Or some other bullshit, why bother spending like nine million hours brewing scrotum smoothing potions when some vague wand movements and latin chanting will inevitably be discovered to remedy the same problem?
only a woman could write this and still have Snape protect Harry.
...
This.
There's no reason why Snape didn't just poison everyone the moment Dumbledore decided to award six million points to Harry at the end of the first book.
Im a guy and if my oneitis who married a Chad somehow died tragically, I would protect her son if I could
>fooled the most powerful Legilimens to ever live for years
>stayed calm and cool all the time even though with any minor slip-up Voldy wouldve tortured him to death
>3rd-most powerful wizard in the books
>Master Duelist
>SJW-destroyer, smug cunt Hermione was repeatedly BTFO by him
>saved Harry about 74646376483847 times
>repented for his past evil
>witty
>straight-A's
>professor
>remained loyal to his waifu to the bitter end and then some
Snape is twice the man any of the Sup Forumsirgins are, and Im being kind to the Sup Forumsirgins
>Why not just create a "polyjuice" spell
Viktor krum casted a "polyshark" spell on half his body and Slughorn casted a full body "polycouch" spell.
Hermione casted a "desfigurated face" spell to make Harry look like a different guy
As far as I know, the elements are ALMOST there. It may be just hack writing.
Huh only just noticed this
kek
>"Brap!"
my sides
>Harry Potter
>victim of hack writing
No, no no no. Absurd.
There's loads of stuff potions can do. Change your appearance, the ability to make everything go perfectly for you, making people fall in love. If I were a student I'd definitely be looking up all kinds of potions in the library, learning everything about them and brewing them in secret.
Also this could just be me but I quite like the idea of slowly brewing a potion to perfection over time. Just taking your time, throwing in some ingredients every now and then, giving it a stir. It's relaxing. It's like fishing.
Not at all
that does sound pretty comfy
based Snape
>my crush's chad son
don't worry, just date a girl who is into harry potter and she probably won't cheat on you
>brewing them in secret.
Except you are in a school and you can't do that. Hermione brewing a perfect potion over the course of 6-9 months without noone noticing is absolutely retarded.
Is not like fishing, you do nothing while fishing. It looks like cooking. It works like cooking (only absurdly longer time wise). It must be like cooking.
>what does a bullshit flower language invented later in the series mean if used on a bullshit botanical equation used earlier in the series?
>something totally deep and totally planned from the start!
whenever a plot element from the future interacts with something from the past with no single previous indication, there's a 90 percent chance that it was only written to seem like it was totally intentional and planned out when in reality it probably meant jack shit when it was first written.
Polyjuice potion is the stuff fetishes are made out of.
>was cucked
Are you retarded? Victorian flower language isn't a Harry Potter concept.
You can alter your appearance with magic, but it's a variety of spells for every little feature that you have to do/undo. The potion is just a simpler solution.
theres literally nothing wrong with being a cuckold. My wife cheated on me like 5 times in the first 10 years, but she grew out of the phase and we grew together, she hasnt cheated in 10 years and we are both happy with 3 sons. If you really love a woman, you can forgive her sins
Nobody used that bathroom because of Moaning Myrtle, that's the only conceit needed, and it also happily explains why nobody ever found the Chamber of Secrets in the next book.
>‘My regrets follow you to the grave’
Wouldn't that mean you stopped having regrets now that they're dead?
There's loads of secret places in Hogwarts. Obviously I'd find a secluded place people didn't know about, and there's always the Room of Requirement.
And the way you describe potion making isn't right. It's not like you have to stand over a cauldron for six months constantly adding ingredients and stirring. The potions that take a long time to complete just have to brew for a long time. Check on it every day, sure, but it's not like cooking a steak for six months. Plus there's potions that can be completed in as little as 90 minutes, as shown in the books several times when they finish an entire potion from start to finish in one class.
Based Armond, he succeed at being more contrarian than Sup Forums
why would (((stern))) want the league's biggest draw to leave when he had spent years rigging the nba to make jordan the biggest superstar in sports?
There is an entire subject of Transfiguration after all.
That always seemed like the most interesting concept but it was kinda wasted. All they do is try and change hedgehogs into pincushions, I don't think they even start human transfiguration until 7th year and then you've got one year to try and nail that and after that you're on your own.
it's movies for children. it's "contrarian" to like that garbage
The kids are yours?
What's to stop Harry transfiguring Ron's face into a giant cock?
Maybe that's why they didn't teach it earlier.
No, because Harry is alive.
Holy shit. Is Rowling the American Tolkien?
Making jam, cooking stew and brewing alcohol are all forms of 'cooking' as well and can take between hours and years. Potions are essentially the same principle.
I mean Mad Eye Moody was brewing potions in secret, as well as a number of other teachers and students.
Sure, but after five years of messing about with teacups and small rodents every single week I think a lot of people got bored with it and didn't go for the N.E.W.T. course. Apparently it's incredibly difficult as well and only Hermione has ever been noted to successfully do something in class. None of the others ever managed it.
It's worth listening to the audiobooks during a long road trip.
I've probably listened to all of them a dozen times because Jim Dale does such a good job with the voices.
I loved the audiobooks, but I always listened to the Stephen Fry ones and he's brilliant. It's like being read a bedtime story by your uncle.
Never heard of Jim Dale. I assume he did the American version?
Learn what the word contrarian is.
Harry potter is patrician
Harry potter is the best movie series
...
>Rowling can't even get the dates correct in her books
>Seriously thinking this was intentional
Why did they decorate the school with Slytherin shit just to tell those little kids they didn't actually win? Is it so they can learn what disappointment is at an early age?
Because Harry and his group of friends are all more important than everyone else, and Dumbledore felt the need to proclaim that.
It's a miracle Harry didn't end up being a pompous spoiled little shit what with all the favoritism he's shown from just about any adult person in his life. Snape was right in treating him like shit, making sure it didn't all go to his head.
>autist being autistic and having shit taste and seething at harry potter being kino is gods work
Yea maybe on a dead board.
He was starved, isolated, ridiculed and generally tormented from an early age by his blood relatives, so it's not that surprising.
What's more interesting is that he wasn't more of a survivalist, loner type considering his upbringing.
reminder the copy pasta is literally propaganda pushed by a friendless kid that's here 20 hours a day.
The pasta's a joke, user. No one takes it seriousl--
>seething at harry potter being kino
Oh I see, guess I fell for it.
Yes but you should watch the films and read them
Is there any evidence Dumbles didn't do this intentionally? It's a full-blown trope of fanfiction but it's hard to imagine he didn't know or look into how the saviour of the world was being treated.
The movies cut out so much material they don't make a lot of sense without knowing the books, particularly prisoner of Azkaban.
More than half are kino and all are better than most shit posted here lad
No you're wrong the films make sense if you aren't a retard. They are straight forward enough for anyone stop being a dumbass. I just watched azkaban its easy to follow and focuses on harry.
I like the books even now, but claiming the movies are great cinema is offensive.
Considering he left a baby on a doorstep, taking an interest in Harry's upbringing wasn't his highest priority.
The films are 1000 times better than the books and are kino besides 4 get some taste aka leave this reddit board where an autist pushes and mimics a gay nigger
Best film series ever made. An achievement of cinema.
>ourguy
>positive reviews for spiderman, wonder woman, baby driver, kong, trainspotting2, star wars ro, lalaland, moana,
lmao maybe if you're a redtourist(which you are) then sure "our guy" makes sense
You're missing out on a lot of the plot from the book though with Azkaban. Not to mention Goblet of Fire which scrapped nearly half of the book's plot.
Sure they're easy to follow and they make sense, but you're missing out on a hell of a lot of plot and backstory that really enrich the story and characters. Barty Crouch Jr.'s entire plot was decimated.
I'm a huge fan and I love the films. A massive amount of dedication and work was put into them and you can't wish for a better cast full of A-list, cream-of-the-crop British actors (the adults obviously). But I wouldn't call all of them kino, I think. Great entertainment, great production values, but in the end they're just comfy blockbusters to enjoy as a fan.
This is literally one of the very few reasons I browse Sup Forums.
>Potions
>Gayest
No, that's Herbology.
What's it like to have no testosterone or self-esteem?
>missing plot
>being a plotfag
I couldn't care less and certain ones are kino its not even a question idc how new to this board you are
...
>pushes a gay nigger who likes movies worse than that
I guess that just makes you a wrong dumb fucking slut who won't stop being triggered
It is a bit weird how he just left the baby on the doorstep. But Dumbledore did keep an eye on Harry over the years in various ways.
He cast that charm on the Dursley's house which ensured Voldemort or his followers wouldn't be able to harm Harry there until he became of age. He wrote to Petunia in detail about this charm and made sure she kept Harry and not to kick him out.
Mrs Figg kept an eye on Harry throughout his childhood, on orders from Dumbledore. She knew about how the Dursley's treated him (when Harry had to go to her house as a child while the Dursleys went to a theme park or whatever, she'd always bore him to death by showing pictures of her cats all day long. When Harry later finds out she's working for Dumbledore she says she had to bore him because if the Dursley's ever thought Harry was having a good time at Mrs. Figg's they'd instantly forbid him from going there again)
I assume she reported this stuff to Dumbledore, but he never did anything about it.
What was even the point of Herbology? Just dealing with deadly plants and collecting potion ingredients it seems.
Also good job on ignoring the obvious troll everyone. Just don't reply to his rantings and he'll go away.
"No!"
That was quite a pretty movie, though the brown filter was overused in non-exciting scenes.