It's quiet... too quiet

>It's quiet... too quiet.

>do you hear that?
>hear what?
>exactly

>We're not so different, you and I

>You have to do it!
>No I can't do it!
>But you're the only one!
>ok

>"I'm not like you..."
>cuts to Peter reading Mein Kampf
>"You are a kike!"

Raimi took it too far.

>you only need to plug it into an outlet and press the power b-
-IN ENGLISH PLEASE

>who much time do you need?
>at least a billion years
>you have 5 milliseconds

>trust me, if i wanted to kill you I would have done it already

>80s action move
>training montage

>alright, so what do we got on this guy?
>thirteen tours of duty, four purple hearts, perfect scores on his marksmanship and physical tests, spotless record, beat the water temple blind in less than fifteen minutes on his first try, and get this - this guy practically INVENTED assymetrical warfare
>jesus christ, we're dealing with a fuckin' pro here

>was getting caught part of your plan?
>exactly

>I should've killed you when I had the chance...

>Yes... you should have

>Oh yeah? You and what army?

>goes berserk and attacks the MC
>loses like a chump

>training montage
>drinks a raw egg

>IT'S LOUD... TOO LOUD
>WHAT?!

>battle scene
>wilhelm tell scream

>YOU AND ME SPIDERMAN! WE CAN RULE THIS CITY TOGETHER!

>villain gets pushed off a cliff
>Wilhelm scream

>jumps towards the group of protagnists with crazy scream
>in less than a minute kills everyone but the MC
>duels with MC for hours

>We're not so different, you and eye

>villain gets defeated
>THIS CANNOT BE! I'M INVINCIBLE!!!

Treason?

>Wilhelm gets shot with an arrow
>Wilhelm screams

>villain is defeated
>"I was waiting for this day for a long time... thank you"
>turns into dust

>I never thought I'd say this but....Thanks.

>training montage in a comedy
>drinks a raw egg
>becomes disgusted

...

>villain is dying
>heh heh heh, I knew you could do it...

>villain is defeated
>hero walks away
>camera pans to villains hand
>it twitches
>cut to black

>Villain dies
>"My death means nothing"

Nigga what, have some self esteem

>opens his eyes

>villain is dying
>heh heh heh, my death... is only the beginning

>I'm going to need AT LEAST 10minutes
>You've got 6 million

>*sigh* I guess if you want something done right, better dew it yourself

>Whats plan B?
>RUUUUUUUUUUUUN

>...and your other gun

>AAAAAAAARRGGGGHHHHH

>villain is defeated
>"I knew I would win... In the end, you turned out just like me... Brother"
>farts and dies

>whats plan B
>"this is plan B"
>shoots himself

>standing here
>I realize

>If *that* was your plan A, what was plan B?
>Trust me, you don't wanna know.

Whoa user! I can see my house from up here!

>What the HELL is the plan?
>Kid, there is no plan.

>Do a thing that could be summed up in a sentence or less
>"We have to go now!
>"What's happening?!"
>"No time to explain!"

>WHY ARE YOU STILL STANDING KILL HIM ALREADY!

>Good luck. You're gonna need it.

>the call is coming from inside the house

>shoots a million bullets out of a handgun without needing to reload
>needs one more shot to win the day
>out of bullets

>the plan that has been agreed with the supreme authority conveniently lists antagonist and his cronies but only one of the protagonists

>I don't even have time to explain why I don't have time to explain
Jesus fucking christ Destiny man

>calculates the number of bullets like an autist

>*naive character meets famous ne'er-do-well character, down on his luck and/or drunk*
>And to think I used to look up to you.

>counts to six and leaves the cover

>no kid, it's not what it looks like

>IT'S LOUD... TOO LOUD
>WHAT?! I CAN'T HEAR YOU, IT'S TOO LOUD

Legit kino (original 1979)

...

>shoots, like, a million bullets
>"dude calculating bullets, autism"

>they say no man has ever beaten him
>im no man... IM a Woman

>now your other plan B

>take a close look at this sword
>it'll be the last thing you'll ever see

>villain is extremely violent but has an aversion to bad language, scolds his subordinates for using it

>I told ya' from the beginning, kid. You can't trust me. You can't trust anyone.

>hmph, my old man fought better than you

>I told you not to trust anybody

>320 lb good guy makes love to 120 lb girl
>"I grew up with 3 older sisters"

>welcome to my world

>...even me

>This anvil is too heavy for me to carry!
>Here let me help you with your anvil

Hate when movies do this, so unoriginal

>defeat the main villain
>all his minions are destroyed

>2017
>anvil posting

>"Gods I was strong then"

>90 lbs girl sucks 14" dick like a pro
>"I grew up with an abusive but well-endowed stepfather"

I don't get it

me too

>WHEN WILL I BE RID OF THIS ANVIL

>when will i be rid of all these anvils?
>*piano falls on top of him*

Mid-shot of guy's halfway embarrassed face

>"A TARGARYEN WWHHHOOOOOOOOOOOORE"

>sigh...it's gonna be one of those days

>Some days you just can't get rid of an anvil

kek

>Your cheese-encrusted cock head is going in and out of my womb!

I don't get it, is that really a thing people say?

>the dead villain had an alibi
>"if he didn't kill my father, then who was it?"
>"the only other person who had access to him... was..."
>turns to his best friend
>best friends smiles and points the gun at him
>"I told you not to trust anybody"

wat

yes, all the time

>*record scratch*
>freeze frame
>"Yup, that's me. You're probably wondering how I got into this situation..."

>youre done Lewansky, give me your badge and gun
>and your other badge

FUCK OFF

lul

>how did you know he was the impostor?
>I didn't

>villain's stupid plan is thwarted at the last second
>You....

>"there's a storm coming "

LOOK AT YOU!
YOU CANNOT EVEN STAND UP STRAIGHT

>And he's... You know... Uncircumcised!
>EW!

Starting to hit a little too close to

>IT'S OVER ANAKIN!
>I HAVE THE HIGH GROUND

>[Main Character stands up to a big guy]
>[Big Guy stares him down and there's a tense moment]
>HAHAHAHA! Oh, you I like!