Yes, yes... Well done Slytherin, well done Slytherin...
>HOWEVER
Yes, yes... Well done Slytherin, well done Slytherin...
>HOWEVER
Other urls found in this thread:
youtube.com
youtu.be
vocaroo.com
twitter.com
In before the copypasta.
you can talk shit about harry like you want but it will always be a milestone compared with shit like star wars
I like this series very much and I also enjoy this meme.
Well done slytherin, well Done slytherin...
However, it has recently come to our attention that slytherin house is filled to the brim with sociopaths and wizard supremacists. And you literally have a monster hiding in the castle you can use to kill other students. So we're sending you all to Azkaban to save some time.
All slytherins will come here and touch this portkey I made out of hippogryph shit or else get abra kadabra'd so hard you won't even be able to come back as a ghost.
Wait is the janny now deleting dullest-franchise-posts? For free I might add.
Yes yes well done, Slytherin, well done Slytherin, HOWEVER - there are some last minute issues we need to take into account.well, actually there's only one issue, and that's that Slytherin house is a part of one of the dullest franchises in the history of movie franchises. Seriously each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the series’ only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert.
Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody?just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.
>a-at least the books were good though
"No!"
The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."
I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.
Yes, yes, well done Slytherin, HOWEVER, despite your best efforts, you are just unfortunate participants in the dullest franchise in the history of movie franchises. Seriously each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the series’ only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert.
Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody, just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.
>a-at least the books were good though
"No!"
The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."
I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.
Like clockwork.
remake when?
6-6million?!
Well done Slytherin, well done Slytherin...
However after buying a rare giant three headed dog for reasons still not entirely clear to me, I'm afraid that we don't have the requisite funds left in the annual school budget to deal with the damp, mold and flooding problems in the dungeons of our aging castle, you understand of course. Perhaps a wizardly fundraiser is in order, anyway 50 point to Gryffindor!
>implying the founders didn't enchant the castle to be immune to modern decorating, simply to make the students miserable
Slytherin had most of the rich kids, if Draco's dad was willing to shell out a fortune on brooms for the team. He'd at least spend some money so little Draco didn't get Cholera.
>Be an innocent 11 year old kid, some of them know nothing about the magic world
>Get put into slytherin by a talking hat
>Everybody, including teachers, will suddenly look down on you and think you're evil.
How traumatizing is Hogwarts for children?
They should be grateful that they got there after the plumbing was in.
If you are in slytherin you are probably a snotty pure blood better than you trust-fund brat. That's why the hat was about to green Harry.
>Slytherin kids didn't somehow rise up and commit the possibly first wizard equivalent of a school shooting
I'd like the see how the fuck they would?
Like I don't imagine bullets would be an issue when you can turn a person into a weazle
The wizards always first have to say or when advanced think the spell name to cast it, so a little muggle present in the head should be very effective at stopping them.
>wizard supremacists
my sides
>not realizing this is satire
Literally the only reason the hat considered putting Harry in slytherin is because it detected a piece of Voldemort's soul stuck to his forehead. Threw off the results.
You only get into slytherin by being evil. Of course everyone looks down on you.
The same way everyone looks down on hufflepuff for being losers.
>You only get into slytherin by being evil.
Tbf there are a few exceptions, like Snape and Sirius's little brother.
>The same way everyone looks down on hufflepuff for being losers.
But Hogwarts' mega-chad was a Hufflepuff. Granted, he's probably an exception, they seem fucking useless in general.
Voldemort did nothing wrong.
Arguably that's exactly what they did. Malfoy let terrorists into the school.
>defending harry potter lore
When did you tell your parents you're gay?
Harry's dad and friends (except Lupin) were spoiled brats and they were all in Gryffindor. Meanwhile Severus "Frank Grimes" Snape went to Slytherin.
>WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUCKERS?
It was... Dumblydore!
Snape was evil. He only turned on Voldemort because Voldemort killed his waifu. He delighted in torturing Harry for years.
Don't remember much about Sirius' little brother other than that he was the one who stole the horcrux from the lake cave.
When you came pulling in here, did you notice a sign out in front of my house that said "Dead Nigger Storage"?
...
kids these days won't get that reference
>DAS WACISSSS
A Gryffindor kid blew up a bridge killing hundreds of people. I think they could figure something out.
Why didn't Dumbledore just call the British green berets to kill Voldemort?
the trouble with killing wizards with guns is they can heal bullet wounds with magic
you have to get in some headshots or they'll survive
Why doesn't jk rowling explain the backstory reason for slytherin to hate all the maginiggers?
Accio Cruise Missile
You clearly have never seen footage of people getting shot center-mass
Because that opens a massive can of words and starts a general wizard-muggle war.
>green berets attack death eats
>death eaters teleport to London
>mind control all of Parliament
*can of worms
WELL DONE HILLARY, WELL DONE, HOWEVER
the very fact that wizards and muggles exist in the same universe and haven't gone to war with each other means that their leaders have a deal or they are at cold war already
either way they'd have a counter measure to wizard isis
>hypershere
Doesn't the Ministry of Magic have some sort of very loose partnership in place with the muggle Prime Minister of the UK? I seem to remember in the book there was a wizard assigned as a bodyguard for him.
Yes, the leaders do have a deal. The books show the leader of the Ministry of Magic meeting with the British Prime Minister. Also, that name, Ministry of Magic, implies that it's part of the British government. I'd be willing to bet that most of the "wizard universe" countries are the same, like the US has a Department of Magic and China has a Ministry of People's Red Happy Luck Spirit.
Guys I forget, what was Hufflepuff's quality?
I remember Gryffindor was bravery, Slytherin was ambition, Ravenclaw was intelligence.
But Hufflepuff's escapes me.
Yes, yes... Well done Chuck, well done Chuck...
>HOWEVER
"Hard work and honesty". Basically they're mostly decent people.
their quality isn't "you aren't smart, brave, or racist enough for the cool houses so you get to join the shit one"
Yep, there are some scenes in the book where Fudge meets with the Prime Minister in unusual situations like Sirius escaping, Voldemort returning, and shipping dragons into the country.
Basically the Ministry of Magic is in charge since they can assassinate every muggle leader in a day.
>Ravenclaw's was intelligence
lol hermione confirmed for dumb shit
>Ministry of People's Red Happy Luck Spirit Happy Times All Fun Very Good
FTFY
is*
Hermione says the hat very nearly put her in Ravenclaw.
i think in the books she said something about the hat wanting to put her in ravenclaw but her wanting to go to gryffindor because that had been dumbledore's house
IIRC Hermione was originally going to be in Ravenclaw but JK Rowling decided against it when she realised it would be hard to get Harry, Ron, and her to interact throughout the books.
But yeah, she had to resort to literally turning back time and extra classes to be the best, so she probably wasn't the smartest. She probably studied the hardest, but that doesn't make someone the most intelligent.
Ministry of Glorious Pollution Free Revolution
Fucking Sneedposters can't accept Chuck's superiority
she's basically an annoying nerd without much talent
harry was talented and unambitious so he just coasted and got decent grades, whereas ambitious geniuses like dumbledore, voldemort, and grindelwald were basically inventing new spells at 15 years old
What kinds of pets did Hogwarts allow students to bring?
Toads, rats, owls, cats, what else?
What about a dog? Another kind of bird? A rabbit? A nigger? A hamster?
Top kek
hogwarts allowed muggle pets until it was banned in the eartly 20th century
Ron was the worst of the three. His only talent or skill was his "luck."
his talent was being an envious poorfag ginger who got outshined by literally everyone in his family
why do they even have a sorting hat if you can just override it with barely any effort? why did the kids in the fat retard house simply not choose to go elsewhere?
If this book or movie was even half realistic, there'd be a kid every other week mangled by magic or wizard/centuar gang warfare activity (species beef)
Aren't all of the above "muggle pets" though?
Sure toads are not as usual a pet, for example, but they are fairly common. What makes a pet a non-muggle pet, not counting magical beasts?
His brothers were such Chads it's hilarious
I still don't get how tf he got Hermione.
it's not what you know, it's who you know
She never let the heels go over. Slytherin needs to win, Draco needs to kill Ron or Hermione, it's basic booking
no, i mean keeping muggles as pets
Ron's only actual skill was chess. Other than that he was mostly just a prop to explain wizard shit to Harry.
Because kids that age aren't strongly opinionated and they don't know what house they want to join. It's just easier to let the hat do the sorting instead and probably put them in the same house their parents or older siblings once were.
Plus, it's about balancing the student population equally among the houses.
Ah, my b.
>Harry, you HAVE to curse the Jews. It's Wizard tradition. Everyone does it.
>Plus, it's about balancing the student population equally among the houses.
>hmm, too few rich sociopaths this year, let me put this muggleborn kid in slytherin, lmao
underrated post
THANK YOU
Were there any bad people from Gryffindor, Slytherin, and Ravenclaw?
Where there any non-Slytherin Death Eaters and what not?
HOWEVER
brilliant
holy shit that's a big mouth
Peter Pettigrew is the most obvious one.
briw-yant
Why were the Wizards such dicks to Hagrid? It's like not letting a Jew back into the Jew club just because he lost a few shekels on a bad bet
Slytherin kids are put into it for ambition.
Adolf Hitler, George Washington, Bill Gates, Genghis Khan, and Alexander the Great would all have been put in Slytherin.
Ambition isn't inherently good or evil.
TWO
POINTS
Take their other attributes into account tho
You can be ambitious and successful and not be in the Slytherin category, look at Dumbledore or the non-Slytherin Ministers for Magic
lmao ok look at these background nerds tell me they have high ambition
Literally every book in Shit-Tier is better written than Atlas Shrugged. Ayn Rand is a terrible author. Nothing against her politics, though. And Don Quixote is also unbelievably overrated. Candide is a sixth of the length, but you'll laugh six times as often. I think I laughed more reading Solzhenitsyn than Cervantes.
Having high ambition doesn't mean you can follow through on that ambition lmao.
I don't remember the girl but she looks like she looks like this one girl a few grades ahead of me that bullied me in school and summer camp :(
>fags are actually debating harry potter right now
I'd laugh if it wasn't so pathetically sad.
hot