/got/ general: DARKSTAR edition

Fuck D&D

Other urls found in this thread:

theweek.com/articles/719732/game-thrones-become-terrible-show
twitter.com/SFWRedditVideos

STANNIS! STANNIS!! STANNIS!!!

>s08e01
>winterfell anxiously waits for the walkers to come
>receive word from howland reed that the lannisters aremarching throughthe Neck (cersei has changed plans in light of jaimes betrayal)
>bran is scouting through ghost in the hills
>sees a great gout of fire tear through the sky, just before someone kills ghost from behind
>whether its lannister wildfire bombs or the night king's new Dragon (bran couldnt tell because dogs see in black and white), the men of the north prepare to be stormed
>arya, patrolling the walls, is sniped from afar but catches the arrow in midair and bats it back with needle at just the right angle to kill the attacker
>everyone comes out to the courtyard, prepares to defend the castle or die trying
>another arc of flame shears the heavens above them
>It's not green or blue
>It's bright red
>"WA-HOOOO!!"
>who is it sonersqultinq over the walls than Super Mario of the Super Mario Brothers
>"Hoo! Wah! I've-a come to rescue de Princess from-a de Night-a Bowser! Hoo-hoo!!!"
>mario runs out to meet the wws head on, and our heroes charge out after him
>"Yip! Skip! Wa-hah!! Outta my way, ice-a fucking shits! Wee-heeee!!!"
>the NK descends on Viserion
>"Hey, you! Help-a-brother-a-out, eh? Molto bane!"
>the Hound scoops Mario up and hucks him into the air (foreshadowed in s7e6)
>Mario Ground Pounds Viserion on the head and kills him
>grabs the Night King by the horns
>"So long, gay Bran-a!"
>flings him away right into where the lannisters have laid a massive wildfire trap, killing the NK and all the wights
>Viserion's body detonates, enveloping the screen in blue
>zoom out, revealing the blue eye of a giant
>"Thank you so much-a for to playing my game!"
>And who
>Are you
>The proud boar said
>Written for cinéma by David Benioff and D. B. Weiss

I LOVE DARKSTAR

dany

Press F

Manwoody boys taking over /got/

Why do we love this autist again?

Imagine if they had actually adapted Lady Stoneheart.

GODS I LOVE DARKSTAR

edgy but charismatic

>Bobbyposting is dead after just one week

Press F

I too am /ofthenight/

Are "mace" and "flail" synonymous?

How about a Manwoody-Codd alliance?

aagghh

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little BOAR? I’ll have you know I was strong back then, and I’ve been involved with bessy (thank god for her), and I have over 300 stretchers. I am trained in hammer warfare and I carved his breastplate in. You are nothing to me but just another WHORE. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on Westeros, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over via raven? careful Ned, careful now. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of little birds across the narrow sea and your wine is being posioned right now so you better prepare for the storm, WHORE. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, WHORE. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can stretch you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my boar hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the seven kingdoms and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little whore. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “Jonerys” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn boar. I will piss all over myself and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, whore.

theweek.com/articles/719732/game-thrones-become-terrible-show

the article is 100% correct desu lads

Kayakayanaya

Kayakayanaya is a city in Essos. It is one of the three fortress cities that were once part of the Patrimony of Hyrkoon and was founded by the Patriarchs of Hyrkoon.

The Steel Road, that penetrates the Bone Mountains, leads from Vaes Dothrak and the Mother of Mountains to Kayakayanaya, which lies on the eastern side of the Krazaaj Zasqa. Fur-clad warriors ride the Steel Road escorting caravans to and from Kayakayanaya.
The walls of the city are black basalt, black iron, and yellow bone.

The city is known for its warrior maids who wear iron rings in their nipples and rubies in their cheeks, similar to those of Bayasabhad and Shamyriana. It is said that these cities are defended by women out of the belief that only those who give birth are permitted to take life at will.

Like its sister cities, Kayakayanaya is ruled by the Great Fathers. Their daughters learn to ride and climb before they learn to walk and are trained in the arts of bow, spear, knife, and sling from the earliest age. Meanwhile, ninety nine of every hundred boys, the sons of the Great Fathers, are gelded when they reach the age of manhood and live out their lives as eunuchs, serving their cities as scribes, priests, scholars, servants, cooks, farmers, and craftsmen. Only the most promising males, the largest, strongest, and most comely, are permitted to mature, breed, and become Great Fathers in their turn. Maester Naylin in his Rubies and Iron speculates on the circumstances that led to such customs.

Over the centuries the city has faced countless assaults from the Jogos Nhai, a result of an ancient war between the Patrimony of Hyrkoon and the zorse-riders of the plains, which saw thousands of Hyrkoon carried off into slavery and many more Jogos Nhai sacrificed to the gods of Hyrkoon.

>S7 is when things went to shit
lmfao

CAREFUL NOW

GODS

Episode 7 will have well-directed spectacle, like Cersei blowing up the sept.
Normies will forget how shit the writing is.

>play as Tywin a few years after Rains of Castamere
>decide I'm going to cuckold Aerys
>make Rhaella my lover alongside Joanna
>Aerys finds out and explodes into rage, demanding Tywin's arrest
>resist
>Mace Tyrell joins my war to remove Aerys
>take over as Lord Protector, hold a Great Council which elects Steffon's Targ mother
>hire a faceless man to off her, putting Steffon on the throne
>betroth Cersei to Robert, Steffon's heir and Steffon offers both Robert and Stannis to be Tywin's wards

based

cuz da wall collapses with dragon fire from the NK

>Fuck D&D
yes

S5 and S6 were slow and at least tried to create the illusion of having politics. S7 is fully aping hollywood.

aggghhh stannis wheres davos pls help

I'm trying to rewatch the series again but every fucking Shae scene makes me want to skip and miss the whole experience.Fucking Sibel Kekilli

>tfw don't care about anything but based Euron appearing this episode

...

when is the season finale airing?

You just know.

13 hours

Why is Egg such a hot head?

...

No reason to wait now that it leaked, bud.

>Tfw Glendon Ball (flowers) was one of my favourite characters but in this he looks like a weird fat kid

>Targ
>hothead
you tell me buddy

TWO YEARS
I REPEAT
FROM TOMORROW ON IT WILL BE
TWO (2) YEARS (365 days each)
UNTIL THE NEXT AND FINAL SEASON

I get the feeling they blew their spectacle build-up with E4 (good) and E6 (bad). Only Cleganebowl can save us now.

If they had done any foreshadowing that he was equipped with Valyrian magic and elder-god bargaining, I would agree, but in the show as written by D&D he's a vestigial plotline.

CERSEI IS CUTE

we're never gonna see it alive

Did it leak yet?

>Appears out of nowhere
>Targ dubstep starts playing
>"DRAKHHAAAAARISSS"

never forget TYWIN'S REBELLION

Why do you love Darkstar so much?

cersei the mom is top tier. cersei the schemer can eat a fat dick.

im not finished jusht yet

my man nikolaj getting /fit/

>cersei the schemer can eat a fat dick.
euron's big cock

How many bongs till the next episode lads?

>started spamming darkstar yesterday before going to sleep
>wake up
>darkstarposting is back on the menu boys

THE FYRE RISES

nikolaj, meet nikoLAD

>Shush, the queen is sleeping

with a thumb in the butt

AERYS, PREP THE BULL

...so, Cersei is still technically a Baratheon, right? Or did she go back to her maiden name after Bobby died?

Darkstar will never die

you have an unusual jawline there, nikoLAD

Glendon ... had a hard life

Politics died with the Small Council.

>Showrunners David Benioff and Daniel Weiss made no secret of the fact that they brainstormed a long time to figure out a scenario that would put the "Magnificent Seven" in just enough danger. Notice that the priority isn't characterization, or arc, or plot: What matters to them is the dramatic potential of that one scene in that one episode, and how to shove the pieces to get everyone there. It's every bit as short-sighted a process as the show's harshest critics might expect.

>The explanation for these holes is that there is no explanation; the people making this show literally just don't care about those details anymore. "I think we were straining plausibility a little bit, but I hope the story's momentum carries over some of that stuff," said director Alan Taylor of his episode's impossible timeline.

>Imagine getting hired to direct an episode of Game of Thrones. Imagine that it's now your awesome responsibility to direct a piece of television that's beloved and famously analyzed and dissected by millions of people.

>Now imagine not caring enough to nail down a remotely plausible timeline because you can't be bothered. You'll just hope the spectacle is big enough to make everyone forget the gaps in the plot — it worked so well for the Waif's final fight with Arya, after all! "It's cool that the show is so important to so many people that it's being scrutinized so thoroughly," Taylor added. "If the show was struggling, I'd be worried about those concerns, but the show seems to be doing pretty well so it's okay to have people with those concerns."

>This is the level of sophistication at which the series is operating now: The show isn't struggling, so it no longer has to make sense.

theweek.com/articles/719732/game-thrones-become-terrible-show

Did royal female heirs to royal houses change their names on marriage?

You just KNOW

fuck Bobbyposting, Jaimeposting is the new one

>Thish wash not part of my mashterplan

>Their daughters learn to ride and climb before they learn to walk and are trained in the arts of bow, spear, knife, and sling from the earliest age. Meanwhile, ninety nine of every hundred boys, the sons of the Great Fathers, are gelded when they reach the age of manhood and live out their lives as eunuchs, serving their cities as scribes, priests, scholars, servants, cooks, farmers, and craftsmen. Only the most promising males, the largest, strongest, and most comely, are permitted to mature, breed, and become Great Fathers in their turn.
unfffff
literally the perfect, most fetishistic society

>aerys targaryen was such a low-T cuck that eight of his children were either born dead or died within a year
>he had to outsource Tywin Lannister to be his bull and give Rhaella any more children that would actually live
>Viserys and Daenerys spent literally their whole lives pretending to be real Targaryens, when in fact they were bastards, born of cuckoldry

user please stop, I just jerked off.

Daily reminder Arthur Dayne told Ashara Lyanna is pregnant and Ned has no choice but let her fly off the tower.

>mfw in the end Dany will get away with every bad
decision she made and learn nothing

Forget the /coddbros/ ally with the prestigious Velaryons

no user
let it go
it's better for jaimeposting to remain lowkey and patrician than to get ruined by reddit

>the throne is earned through conquest
>Cersei can't be queen because I'm Daenerys of the House Targaryen, the First of Her Name, The Unburnt, Queen of the Andals, the Rhoynar and the First Men, Queen of Meereen, Khaleesi of the Great Grass Sea, Protector of the Realm, Lady Regnant of the Seven Kingdoms, Breaker of Chains and Mother of Dragons

a daenerys arya scene would be so fucking hot

...

Dany will definitely die next season. She has delivered the dragons to Jon and she cannot add anything significant to the story now. They will kill her for the shock value.

Literally Chadville.

>>he had to outsource Tywin Lannister to be his bull and give Rhaella any more children that would actually live

I think you are a bit confused. The bull was actually Bonifer Hasty (so-called "Baelor Butthole" by Jaime, alluding to his pheremonic appeal).

based stannis poster

>any kind of meme
>patrician

>shock value

D&D abandoned it long time ago.

...

based dany poster

Say something nice about toddler Walder Frey

>Shansha you know musch I loved your musher

>hfw she thinks she won and then Euron finds her

>it worked so well for the Waif's final fight with Arya, after all!
I remember that fight and Arya doing crazy stuff while being badly injured being taken apart with everyone with a brain but okay

ehem. I'm looking for my brother. You remember my brother, don't you LORD STARRK

Can't wait to see the reaction when she makes it to the end and gets off scott free.

eye juxtapose

He outs whores for being whores.

>both Rickon and Dickon are dead now
No
NOO

It's still there - Euron attacking the dyke fleet and Jaime sacking Highgarden got reactions out of the normies.
But they can't kill Jon or the meme dwarf now because they have to do stuff later in the story. The entire goal of Dany's quest was to hatch the eggs and hand over the adult dragons to Jon.

Cast her

drogo

calm down nikoLAD, we'll find our brother

sally clegane, arya's new bff in season 9