Little monkey fella

little monkey fella

a'ight?

head like a fooking orange

knock it on the 'ead

roundy baldy heady twat

"A'right, so there was this truck"

"A Truck?"

"Yeah, in the desert, someone in it with a bag o'er their head, couple of other guys in there. Not me this time."

"WHICH desert."

"It might not've been a desert, there were mountains and grass not long after."

"What?"

"Look, they bring him out of the truck over to the plane, and there's this fella standing there right, like he's not got a belt on...but he has got a belt on."

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN!!!"

"Just listen! ‘E says, ‘e says ‘I’m CIA’."

"You mean he was with the CIA."

"No, no, he just says CIA."

"He’s the entire CIA?"

"No he…, look they say…uhh…look, we were to give you this doctor…"

"‘What Doctor?"

"HE was the main one they were bringing, but they brought the ones with bags as extra."

"Extra Doctors? And there’s two with bags now?"

"No! One ‘ems easy to forget. Look, CIA…"

"His given name."

"Yeah, CIA says…look, don’t know what you’re playin’ at here…can’t be bringing mates. But they say they work for this kind of gangster guy, called Blaine. And CIA says…right, we’ll take ‘im."

"Ok, I’ll stop you there. If they lift up the hoods, and it’s a monkey, or any kind of primate, we are NEVER doing this feature again."

“No, no listen. They get in the air, and CIA’s like, carrying on trying to get them to talk about the gangster.”

“While on the plane?”

“He says…where they’re going…they’re expecting one less than there is.”

“What do you MEAN Karl?”

“Like, what he’s saying is he’ll throw one out.”

“Of the plane?”

“Yeah, and like, he opens the door, and he pulls one over and like, shoots out the window next to his head.”

“‘Shoots him you mean.”

“No. He only pretends. And pretends to throw ‘im out. And CIA says… oh, he didn’t fly so good.”

“No, he didn’t.”

“Yes, he did.”

“No he didn’t. that’s not grammatically correct, you messed it up in your weird little Manc head.”

“Listen. And the other one, with the bag on their head, ‘e says…he says, well you wouldn’t shoot someone, would ya? if you were just going to chuck ‘em away anyway. And CIA walks over, takes off his mask, and its Blaine, and he’s got this like, metal spider thing, covering his mouth.”

“Oh CMON!”

“No, he does. It sort of looks like…did you ever open up a washing machine, and its all small pipes all close together. It was all that…but in face form.”

“Jesus Christ.”

“And CIA says…he says…if I take that off, would you be alright, or is it like a medicine thing. Would you die, basically, is what he was asking.”

*Sigh* All right, and what did he say.”

“He said it would hurt a lot and that.”

“Right.”

“For you.”

“What.”

“It would hurt a lot…for you.”

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN!”

“Nevermind. See its just ‘cause it’s me sayin’ it. If you saw that in a film, like, a film from that one who made Inception or what have ya, you’d think it was brilliant.”

“He wouldn’t PUT THAT in his films! He’s not that stupid!”

I swear to god Karl if the monkey is wearing a mask we're never doing this again

>Hickory, dickory, dock, some lads there--just wrote a song called clocks, the lads are Coldplay!

Manc twat. HEAD LIKE A FUCKING ORANGE!

>HE'S DONE YOU AGAIN STEVE
Steve never could handle the banter

I know you're just 16, but looking all of 21, that's because the chinese look older

>GALILEO DON'T TALK TO ME ABOUT SCIENCE PLEASE MAKE ME TELEVISION

AND YOU'LL NEVER SEE AN OLD MAN EAT A MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARS BAR BAR BAR

>He's put a lot of effort in
>So what?
>You're right

Pottery

Kar'l Pil'kingto'n

Hood goes off
Big fella pops out

>turns out
>little masked fella

His HOOD come off?

There was this shadow...

Play a record

Aren't we doin' it anymore?

>watch a porno
>suddenly Karl appears with a french accent thinking nobody would realize it's him

>Clive Warren

Play a record

bishop muzorewa

THE RICE IS RIGHT

Which do you like better?
>XFM
>Podcasts
>An Idiot Abroad
>The Moaning of Life

XFM

Jesus Christ user, lovely