ITT

We write the plane scene as directed by other directors

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vocaroo.com/i/s1ImiBojFfaC
youtube.com/watch?v=-dNwFVk68PI
m.youtube.com/watch?v=233OwqrLvgE
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doctor muthafuckin wack ass cracka, i'm that nigga CIA u feel me

>tfw no cia gf

>The Dark Knight Rises, directed by Quentin Tarantino

>CIA and Smee stand outside a plane, waiting

>CIA: "You ever wonder why a foot fetish isn't socially acceptable?"

>Smee: "What?"

>CIA: "Foot fetishes. Why aren't they acceptable? People talk about wanting to fuck tits, asses, pussies, but the second you mention you want to nut on a girl's toes, people look like you just raped a fucking dog."

>Smee: "What are you talking about man?"

>CIA: "You never put any thought into this?"

>Smee: "I'm just here to do a job man"

>CIA: "Never be that guy. Never just show up to do a job. That's fucking lazy. It's fucking intellectually dishonest. Put some thought into this shit"

>Smee: "Money is money, I don't think about it"

>CIA: "So I tell you to bend over and let Maimen fuck your ass for some money, you don't think about it?"

>Smee: "Man, what? Fuck off"

>CIA: "Oh, finally, here comes that fucker Pavel. Late as usual"

8/10

pretty good desu

pls more, I implore you

>Hey Dr. P, I'm CIA
>Woah you don't get to bring your bros

>*cut of a chick wearing tank top washing down the plane*

>They worked for the maskette man
>Bane???

>*explosion*

perfectly captured the tarantino cliche of one character being the outspoken guy who has a strong opinion and the other person being the straight man who just kinda reacts

goddamn he does that a lot

>over-the-shoulder behind shot of CIA watching the approaching jeep
>voice over: "Being in the central intelligence agency wasn't just a career for me, it was a way of life"
>montage of CIA rising through the ranks, and then montage of normal office workers looking bored
>vo: "where other schmucks would toil fruitlessly in their fucking waste of space desk jobs, closing the big account whatever the fuck that means, I was making a difference. I was putting my name on the map"
>cut back to jeep arriving, still from CIA's view, as Masketta comes out with three goons under hoods and Dr Pavel
>CIA: "Dr Pavel? Call me CIA"
>Dr Pavel [to Masketta man]: "who the fuck is this joker?"
>Goon 2 underneath gag: "He just told you dumbass, he's fucking CIA"
>Goon 1: "woah, check out this smartass. With the government's cock that far down his throat, I can only guess what will happen when they start actually applying pressure"
>CIA: "ahem" [clears his throat]
>Goon 1: "You got a problem? Can't you see we're having a conversation over here? I mean we can't see because you put a fucking gag over us, but still"
>CIA looks at one of his guards and raises an eyebrow
>the guard comes forward and rifle-butts Goon 1
>Guard: "shut the fuck up"
>CIA sighs
>CIA: "alright, everyone get on the motherfucking aircraft. I only wanted Dr Pavel but what's a party without friends right?

scorcese?

>everyone on board the plane which has taken flight
>the three goons are all sitting tied to their chairs, still hooded
>CIA: "alright, I'm gonna make it real simple. The can't be assed to feed all your sorry asses. So only one of you gets a premium room courtesy of the president. The other two of you will be writing your great aunt Sally from Guantanimo telling her all about your new buddy Tyrone and his best friend Mohammad and how the three of you stay up all night telling each other secrets. Don't want that to be you? Then tell me about this cocksucker Bane"
>Goon 2: "Fuck you"
>Gonn 1: "What that guy said"
>CIA: "Jesus christ"
>CIA sighs as he gestures to his guards who taze Goon 1 and Goon 2, both of whom yell out in pain
>he turns to Goon 3
>CIA: "and what about you? you've been awfully fucking quiet, you gonna say anything?"
>doesn't say anything
>CIA smiles out of awkwardness
>CIA:"umm hello? earth to hooded goon, you gonna talk or you wanna get tazered too? we can make that happen?"
>Goon 3: "say. that. to. my. face. you. faggot"
>CIA blinks
>CIA: "what did you say?"
>Goon 3: "Did that sound like moonspeak to you? I said say that to my fucking face you fucking faggot"
>CIA laughs and looks at his guards nervously
>he slowly takes the hood of Goon 3 revealing him to be Bane
>CIA:"Bane?"
>Bane: "No, I'm father fucking Christmas"
>CIA: "Wait... if you're here, why am I tazering your idiot Goons over there?"
>Bane: "Good fucking question"
>CIA: "Alright, if you're so smart, why do you wear a prolapsed anus mask on your face? What would happen if we knicked it?" [starts laughing with his guards]
>Bane: "It'd hurt. A lot"
>CIA: "I dunno, you look pretty big"
>je ne regrette rien starts playing quietly
>Bane: "For you you dumb cocksucker"
>CIA raises his eyebrow again
>suddenly Bane headbutts him
>the plane windows burst open
>everything goes into slow-motion
>The chorus hits as Bane's men slaughter everyone
bingo

> (accompanied by violin pizzicato)
> CIA from the back, perfectly symmetrical against sunset-lit horizon
> ripples on the grass
> aerial shot of car approaching through the field
> car stops
> camera pans down the car, slowly zooming under the vehicle
> we see legs of people and muffled dialogue
> close up of pondering CIA
> "Bane?"
> aerial shot, muffled dialogue
> symmetrical close up of plane turbine starting
> closing door of the plane
> ripples on the grass

>Flat shot of jeep rolling up to plane
>Guys jump out of jeep, one of them trips a little
>CIA looks around "So.. you're the guys?"
>Masketta man says "Yeah well, we're the only ones here." He then points to the plane. "Dang, that's an old plane."
>Different wide angle shot of plane, few moments of silence
>CIA says "Hmm, yeah. Anyway I can't take your friends."
>Masketta man says "Oh, they aren't really my friends, but they DO work for the masked man."
>Slow zoom into CIA's face, slightly wincing and smiling
>Next shot is the plane in the air as soft guitar music plays

i dare somebody to do the Wes Anderson version of this

this lmao, only just realised it as well

who desu

Wes Anderson
Mann?

> "Dr. Pavel, I'm CIA"
> Pavel stares at CIA creepingly for a few seconds, the camera slowly zooms towards a closeup to his face
> he opens his mouth a little, still doesn't say a word
> cut to CIA who has a baffled, concerned look on his face
> with CIA's face still in shot, Dr. Pavel says "I know. You have been CIA all along." while CIA's reaction is shown from a slightly upwards angle
> Mosquito Man gleefully jumps in front of CIA, grabs his shoulder firmly with his back arched a bit
> he talks quickly, childishly, making every sentence sound like a question "don't worry, Mister CIA. No charge for these volks. You should know who they work for! They work for the mercenary, you know the masked man. You know the masked man, right?"
> CIA, with a look of shock, confusion and fear whispers "... bane?"
> Mosquite, still grabbing him by his arm, slowly raises his eyebrows as his smile brightens too, he doesn't say anything though
> cut to a silent, b/w scene of Bane as a kid dragging a stunt kite through a plane field
> slowly, the sound of wind starts to get noticable, it gets louder and louder and transitions into the roaring engines of the plane taking off
> shot of Bane running through the field, the camera on the ground in front of him, looking up in a sharp angle
> the shot is getting shakier by the second, as the frame slowly zooms to the rising kite, with the engine noises reaching deafening levels of volume
> the sound starts to crack, scattered, shrill violin sounds are heard every now and then as we see hairy, bug-like legs reaching out from underneath the kite, flailing through the air
> jump to completely silent shot of CIA sitting on the cot of a prison cell with a blank stare into the nothingness of the brick wall on in front of him

Guy Ritchie
>cia and his men all stand around a table in a room
>cia:"okay, here's the plan"
>sequence plays out as cia describes it
>cia:"masketta will arrive with dr pavel at 2pm, we'll exchange pleasantries and laugh about our wives. Meanwhile, Smee you'll have already filed the flight plan so we can take off immediately..."
>Maimen:"wait, why a plane? why not a train or a jeep?"
>cia facepalms
>cia:"because, for the fiftieth time, you can't hijack a plane. A train? any idiot can hijack a train, they've been doing it since the old west. but a plane? not happening"
>maimen looks dumbstruck
>cia:"anyone, once we're on board the plane, we toast to victory and pat ourselves on the back"
>smee:"but what if Dr Pavel brings friends?"
>cia:"he won't bring friends"
>smee:"but what if he does?"
>cia:"then he's an idiot"
>maimen chuckles
>smee: "maybe so, but he can't be that clever if we've managed to find him like this, do we have a backup?"
>cia:"if he brings friends, we shoot them. that good enough?"
>smee:"well sure... except he wouldn't bring friends for no reason"
>cia: "what?"
>maimen:"he said dr pavel wouldn't bring friends for-"
>cia:"i heard him the first time. what possible reason would he have other than having one too many chromosomes?"
>smee:"well maybe he knows someone connected to this Bane fella who wants to talk to us"
>cia glares
>smee:"well in that situation we don't want to kill them"
>cia:"fine, we bring them on the plane with us, happy?"
>smee:"well i would, except you told me to file the flight plan. what do I write on the form? there may or may not be additional goons as well?"
>cia:"is that really important at this particular junction in time?"
>smee:"well maybe not for you, but I'm the one who's gonna have his name on this official document"
>cia facepalms again
>cia:"okay, I'll file the flightplan as well"
>smee:"then what do you want me to do?"
>cia:"just stand by my side and pretend not be a pain in my ass"
>maimen:"that's what she said"

> CIA runs into frame with soldiers
> close up of him looking nervous right and left
> car stops
> CIA runs closer to the camera
> caption: "Keine freunde!"
> Masketta raises hand
> caption: "Das mann mit dem mask"
> CIA is staggered, tries to cover his forehead with his hand
> very big caption in zig-zag letters: "BANE?"

Lynch

PRETTY CLOSE TO WHAT HE WOULD WRITE, I THINK

great thread, another proof of infinite depth of baneposting

based Smee

yep
easy I guess but thanks for acknoledging it

>Write something
>In the style of a director.
You're a fucking idiot.

>CIA slowly removes the hood covering Bane's head
>long symmetrical shot zooming in on Bane's face, his eyes staring hard at the camera, with a piercing slightly insane look
>CIA: "if i pull that off will you die?"
>Bane: "it would bring great pain"
>CIA: "youre a corpulent man"
>Bane: "For you"
>CIA: "was getting caught part of your plan?"
>Bane: "of course! dr. pavel was trying to bring an outside party into the situation, did you know that?
>CIA: "who?"
>Bane: "A nigger"
>CIA: "A nigger?"
>Bane: "A nigger cook."
>rest is just helicopter shots over ominous music

"A'right, so there was this truck"

"A Truck?"

"Yeah, in the desert, someone in it with a bag o'er their head, couple of other guys in there. Not me this time."

"WHICH desert."

"It might not've been a desert, there were mountains and grass not long after."

"What?"

"Look, they bring him out of the truck over to the plane, and there's this fella standing there right, like he's not got a belt on...but he has got a belt on."

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN!!!"

"Just listen! ‘E says, ‘e says ‘I’m CIA’."

"You mean he was with the CIA."

"No, no, he just says CIA."

"He’s the entire CIA?"

"No he…, look they say…uhh…look, we were to give you this doctor…"

"‘What Doctor?"

"HE was the main one they were bringing, but they brought the ones with bags as extra."

"Extra Doctors? And there’s two with bags now?"

"No! One ‘ems easy to forget. Look, CIA…"

"His given name."

"Yeah, CIA says…look, don’t know what you’re playin’ at here…can’t be bringing mates. But they say they work for this kind of gangster guy, called Blaine. And CIA says…right, we’ll take ‘im."

"Ok, I’ll stop you there. If they lift up the hoods, and it’s a monkey, or any kind of primate, we are NEVER doing this feature again."

>Mann?
No, it was the 2nd part of Scorsese

“No, no listen. They get in the air, and CIA’s like, carrying on trying to get them to talk about the gangster.”

“While on the plane?”

“He says…where they’re going…they’re expecting one less than there is.”

“What do you MEAN Karl?”

“Like, what he’s saying is he’ll throw one out.”

“Of the plane?”

“Yeah, and like, he opens the door, and he pulls one over and like, shoots out the window next to his head.”

“‘Shoots him you mean.”

“No. He only pretends. And pretends to throw ‘im out. And CIA says… oh, he didn’t fly so good.”

“No, he didn’t.”

“Yes, he did.”

“No he didn’t. that’s not grammatically correct, you messed it up in your weird little Manc head.”

“Listen. And the other one, with the bag on their head, ‘e says…he says, well you wouldn’t shoot someone, would ya? if you were just going to chuck ‘em away anyway. And CIA walks over, takes off his mask, and its Blaine, and he’s got this like, metal spider thing, covering his mouth.”

“Oh CMON!”

“No, he does. It sort of looks like…did you ever open up a washing machine, and its all small pipes all close together. It was all that…but in face form.”

“Jesus Christ.”

“And CIA says…he says…if I take that off, would you be alright, or is it like a medicine thing. Would you die, basically, is what he was asking.”

*Sigh* All right, and what did he say.”

“He said it would hurt a lot and that.”

“Right.”

“For you.”

“What.”

“It would hurt a lot…for you.”

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN!”

“Nevermind. See its just ‘cause it’s me sayin’ it. If you saw that in a film, like, a film from that one who made Inception or what have ya, you’d think it was brilliant.”

“He wouldn’t PUT THAT in his films! He’s not that stupid!”

>The Dark Knight Rises, directed by Edgar Wright

>CIA: "What's the next step of your master plan?"

>Bane: "Crashing this plane...with no survivors!"

>Flashback, a series of quick shots showing how Bane's men got their gear, loaded up their second plane, secretly flew over the other plane, and rappelled down

>Camera snaps back to CIA's face

>CIA: "No! This can't be happening! I'm in charge here!"

>80s pop music starts playing

Anyone have the Tim Burton pasta?

fucking brilliant

...

I'm trying to imagine Bergman and all I can think of is the beginning of The Seventh Seal but with CIA as Death.

>Vem är du?
>Jag är CIA.

What would a Shyamalan version be like? I'm not creative enough to come up with something good.

What's this actors name

vocaroo.com/i/s1ImiBojFfaC

Instead of getting the hostages on board they just stand and watch a girl in clown make up dance around.

youtube.com/watch?v=-dNwFVk68PI

Not bad. Needs a black character who speaks ebonics

Jonathan Cohen
www.imdb.com/name/nm0169512/

...

>10 minute silent scene of the car driving to the plane

t. the stupid chicken eating nigger

Hey Party People in the house! Its me DJ Ski Mask.

t-tack bror

JJ Abrams

camerashot slightly infront of the plane as it goes past

>"No one cared about me, not before I put on the mask"

CIA takes of the hood

the whole theater laughs because Bane looks really ugly without the mask

>"That mask, will you die without it?"

>"It would be really painful.."

CIA laughs and looks at his comrades

>"You're a pretty big guy though"

>"painful.. for you"

Camerashot far away from plane watching it go by

>"Tell me, was getting caugt somehow a part of your plan?"

>"I'll guess you have to wait and see"

camerashot on the now two planes, shakey zoom in on the new plane

>"Dr. Pavel declined our offer, instead he choose to help you. We want to find out why"

camera shows futureistic CGI men with jetpacks jump out of the new plane

>"well, you got yourselfs caught. looks like this is the end of your "masterplan"

>"no.. CRASHING THIS PLANE IS"

Has someone made a silent movie edit of the bame scene yet?

not enough exposition, viewers might get lost

>för dig
The delivery on that jfc.

A lot of directors...write their own films..or have their directing style....enter into the writing....

...

>CIA leaning against his plane, illuminated by a red light from the side of the aircraft
>close up of his face, covered in red light
>synth pop starts playing
>masketta man pulls up in his jeep
>CIA slowly walks to him
>they stare at each other silently for 30 seconds
>....I'm CIA
>next scene, CIA is brutally beating on of the hired guns while the synth pop soundtrack plays, his face splattered with blood

Good attempt at Refn
You missed the surrealist imagery though along with a slow-mo music scene

Kino

Shame you'll never be a director. Ever.

Terrance Malick

>The Dark Knight Rises, directed by David Benioff and D. B. Weiss

>CIA and Masketta meet in a field outside the plane

>CIA: "Uh, you don't get to bring friends"

>Pavel: "They are not my friends."

>Masketta: "They're a couple of dickless cunts we found trying to grab your prize"

>CIA: "Get them onboard, I'll call it in"

>As CIA walks away, Masketta whispers into his phone

>Masketta: "Call the plane, they're taking off"

>We see an airplane take off from Australia, on the other side of the planet

>Five minutes later

>CIA: "Well congratulations, you got yourself caught! Now what's the next step of your master plan, you fookin cunt?"

>Bane: "Crashing this plane, with no fookin survivors!"

>The plane from Australia has somehow arrived already. Reinforcements shoot at CIA's men

>CIA: "AHHHH NO PLEASE BANE I LOVED YOU PLEASE DON'T KILL ME AHHHHH"

>Bane cuts CIA's throat and removes his mask to reveal a young woman

>CIA's men immediately surrender and yell YASS SLAY QUEEN

LYNCHED
Y
N
C
H
E
D

>and who
>are you

10/10

>shots of the surrounding nature intertwined with shits of the plane
>narration by cia "you know, I remember my father would talk about days like these, the hot heat seering, almost penetrating with every breath."
>face on shot of cia with sad expression, back to nature shots
>"do people realise just before they die that they are dying, or does it just end... As quickly as it started... Forever "
>nature shots
>"I never thought, the day like today would be the day I found out, then again I never expected to meet a man like Bane on a day like this"

bravo

Best in the thread though the Tarantino is pretty close

>>no actual shots of feet
>>no kung fu or exploitation soundtracks
>>no cameo
m8 try harder

>cut to a buggy full of burly men with long waxed mustaches and 3 captives with paper bags over their heads
>a tall, thin man with an archaic military cap checks his pocket watch as a deringible idles in the background
>Dr. Pavelstensworth? I'm with the secret intellectual alliance
>excuse me, but you don't get to bring friends with you on this journey
>the men to whom you are referring are NOT my companions, and I would prefer if you would abstain from any further implication of the sort!
>SIA hesitates, embarrassed and insists that the be-bagged men be loaded onto the deringible
>the flight plan that I just wired to the alliance only records myself, my constituents, The Lady Conchessa of Essex, but only one of you rogues!
>the first one to reveal their true motives will be allowed to remain aloft!
>French accordion music begins to swell as SIA interrogates each of the bag headed men over tea in his office in a ludicrous fashion, until he reaches the last man who refuses to speak
>I must say, I am bemused at your level of alliegence to your handler
>perchance I an merely enduring this silence out of a shrewd understanding of your intentions
>SIA removes the bag to reveal a man with a mask bestrewn with wires, tubing, and a pocket watch
>nobody inquired as to my true identity prior to my donning of this contraption
>if I removed that would you be in anguish?
>certainly
>SIA is caught off guard by this response and fumbles with his words and stumbles as the deringible encounters turbulence
>well that's re-assuring-
>I was referring to you, you ponce

Shit, I don't know. Ridley Scott?

>Ottawa or Texas

these were top tier

>Toy airplane lands
>Whoosh effects
>Toy truck comes running towards the plane
>Kid making car sounds
>Sudden transition to live action as we see teenage Bill Wilson; rebel
>"Dr. Pavel? I'm the CIA."
>Dr. Pavel is a handsome doctor played by Channing Tatum
>"Hey can I bring friends?"
>"Does it look like I brought friends?"
>"You don't have any friends."
>"...who are they"
>"They work for the mercenary. The masketta man."
>"..."
>"Bane?"
>Dramatic hamster meme music starts playing

pixar?

>oh, he didn’t fly so good.”
>“No, he didn’t.”
>"Yes, he did.”

Read it in their voices, 10/10

Ishiro Honda circa 1969

>banjo plays a simple tune, ultra wide shot of the train, CIA standing in front
>closeup of CIA's eyes, played by Lee Van Cleef
>banjo plays again
>CIA's perspective, an old-timey car approaching
>CIA's eyes again
>eyes look to his left
>Smee (Eli Wallach)'s eyes look to the right
>wide shot, car arrives, banjo again plays, but with an entire orchestra accompanying this time
>Dr Pavel (Robert DeNiro) exits car with Masketta (Charles Bronson) &3 hooded men
>a tense standoff
>all stare silently at each other as music plays
>CIA:"I want his friend?"
>masketta nods
>fade into them on the train as the music fades out
>CIA says nothing as he opens the carriage door
>the noise from outside of the train against the tracks blares in
>he gestures and takes the first prisoner to the door
>he pokes the barrel of a 6-shooter into the prisoner's head and cocks it, making a loud noise
>CIA:"Bane? You know him?"
>silence other than the train
>CIA shoots next to the guy's head making a loud bang
>he gestures as the prisoner is taken away and the next one is brought to the door
>again, he pokes the gun into the prisoner
>cia:"what about you? you wanna tell me something?"
>again, no one says anything
>cia: "alright...."
>he points the gun to the side about to shoot
>prisoner3:"maybe... we're all wondering why you keep shooting into thin air"
>cia stares aggressively at the prisoner and gestures
>his hood is removed to reveal Bane, played by Clint Eastwood, with a cigarillo in his mouth
>Bane: "you know, no one cared who I was until I shot the wrong idiot"
>cia, laughing: "tell me friend, if i take away that thing you're smoking will you die? or will just panic like a baby without his bottle?"
>Bane brings a lit cigarette to his mouth, having somehow freed his hands
>Bane:"I wouldn't. It will be painful"
>CIA laughs again
>CIA:"what you got a medical problem or something?"
>Bane looks sharply at him: "for you"
>the two stare at each other
>suddenly Bane shoots CIA before he can aim

>long shot across a desert
>out in the middle of nowhere we see a rusty old plane on a small airstrip
>CIA is standing there in a long black robe
>he watches a rat that has a huge visible tumor on its back walk across the airstrip (this shot is at lest 2 minutes long)
>an old man drives up to him in a pickup with three cages on the back
>three men wearing only black hoods and loincloths are inside the cages
>the old man gives CIA a small gemstone in the shape of an eye
>CIA looks deeply into it
>blueprints and formulas and general physics mumbo jumbo flash across the screen while muffled screams and trippy music is heard
>CIA looks up to the old man and asks with a thick spanish accent:
>"I know what this is, but who are they?" pointing towards the men in cages
>The old man, obviously incapable of speech, puts in hands in front of his mouth and nose and looks CIA straight into the eyes
>A few more rats crawl across the strip, this time their tails are cut off and they leave a trail of blood
>CIA nods knowingly and the man walks to the back of the pickup and violently drops the prisoners on the floor
>a goad two dozen 10 year old boys in pink camouflage come flooding out of the plane and surround the cages
>CIA orders them to load the cages onto the plane
>next shot is of the interior of the plane
>its a snowy boreal forest with more children sitting around fires warming themselves as they grill and eat dogs
>CIA is seen sitting on a golden cushion in the snow, the eye-stone on a pedestal next to him
>two of the men,all still caged up, are freezing and trying to keep warm, the third is calm

contd

>"there is only so much room in this sacred place, I am afraid at least two of you will have to be sacrificed"
>he claps his hands twice, each time followed by a gong, and the two outer prisoners dissolve into more disfigured rats
>the remaining man removes his hood
>his head is that of a goat
>CIA raises his eyebrow ever so slightly and whispers: Bane
>the goatheaded man destroys the cage he is in and stands up
>ceiling shot with the stone being exactly in the middle of them with some of the children surrounding the two men
>after what seems to be an eternity of them looking into each others eyes Bane sprints towards the pedestal and grabs the stone
>at the same time the children run towards him, he has to punch some of them out of the way
>CIA remains seated and loudly orders the children back
>"what do you plan to do with him?", he asks
>"that is of no concern to you now, old man" the goathead replies
>"for now what matters is that I will destroy this plane, with you and everyone in it!"
>a gust of wind goes through the forest towards CIA and hundreds of tarot cards with it
>seven men on camels come from the trees, armed with assault rifles
>they start shooting all children in sight
>a single tear rolls over CIAs face as the forest shakes like in a earthquake
>with a smokecloud, Bane, the gemstone and six of his men disappear into nothingness
>The last of Banes men, after all children are dead, shoots himself in the head, doves erupt from his dead torso
>CIA, after glancing over the dead bodies, pulls a dagger from underneath his robe
>"I have failed you, my beloved Agency, I beg of you to forgive me", he weeps, as he thrusts the dagger into his belly
>After a closeup of his face as he coughs up blood, we see a black screen
>With a thunder appears in white letters the name of the movie:
>"LA ASCENSION DE EL CABALLERO NEGRO"
>"UNA PELICULA DE ALEJANDRO JODOROWSKY"

British CIA documentary:

>Here, in the steppes of Kazakhstan, the CIA is in search of its prize
>3 minutes of very clean and uninterrupted footage of the CIA following a plane

American CIA documentary:
>inception horns playing in the background
>YOU PROBABLY WOULDN'T WANT ONE OF THESE BIG GUYS IN YOUR COCKPIT
>Rapid jump cuts of the Masketta Man
>THE BIG GUY MIGHT LOOK LIKE A MAN THROWN OUT OF A PLANE, BUT THIS NASTY HOT-HEAD IS NOT TO BE MESSED WITH
>more flashy jump cuts
>THIS LITTLE WRECKAGE BROTHER DOESNT KNOW WHATS WAITING FOR HIM, THE RISE OF THE FIRE IS NOT TO BE UNDERESTIMATED
>more flashy jump cuts
>the big guy strikes
>strange CIA grunts and screeching noises are dubbed in as it attacks because silent plane crashes are too boring for americans
>slow mo replay of the crash in black and white
>AND IT'S EXTREMELY PAINFUL
>THAT LITTLE DOCTOR
>SHOULD'NT HAVE BROUGHT HIS FRIENDS
>Starwipe to the next clip

D&D :
>plane takes off
>CIA is at the part where he asks what's the next step of Bane's masterplan
>they're still in the air
>"Crashing this plane..."
>plane suddenly teleports in an american airport
>"yes dabid, that's a really good idea"

More CIA cosplay OP

Entertaining.

>UNA PELICULA DE ALEJANDRO JODOROWSKY
I fucking knew it. Haven't even seen any of is films.But just from the stills from Holy Mountain and seeing Jodorowsky's Dune, I knew it was this fucker
Well played

Which director

Ricky Gervais Show, it's a podcast

...

Go on

i zozzled

Unfortunately Cockney accent doesnt translate well into text.

COONTS.

>Slow, euphoric synth chords.
>Slow-mo pull back through the interior of the plane, CIA filing a flight plan, smee and maimen load their weapons
>Another slo-mo pull back from the door ext. plane as CIA walks out with the soldiers and adopts the stance
>Synth intensifies
>We see the jeep approach from afar, masketta, pavel and the hired guns get out.
>Music softens
>Intense, tightly shot staring between CIA, masketta and Pavel
>CIA: "You don't get to bring friends."
>Pavel: "They're not me friends."
>CIA gestures with his head to the plane
>They get on board as CIA gets out his phone to call it in
>Cut to - Plane flying through pink and purple sunsets montage to Cliff Martinez
>"NWR" fades onscreen

>the whole theater laughs because Bane looks really ugly without the mask
bravo nolan

A CIA agent falls in love with a mercenary, the masked man.

Unable to get a confession, he is gifted with by a deus ex machina with the masked man’s phone number. Never minding the strange area code, he immediately calls it in, and is overjoyed to find out that he has a crush on him as well.

But, the next day, when he recounts the previous day’s confessions to the masked man, he only looks at him with a perplexed expression. After some investigation, he finds out that the mercenary he called is not the same masked man he fell in love with. In fact, he doesn’t exist in this universe at all. He is the masked man’s alternate universe counterpart, who has fallen in love with the CIA agent’s own AU self, who too is blissfully unaware of his crush.

Hijinks ensue as the two strike up a deal to give each other their darkest, most private secrets in order to equip the other with the weapons they need to conquer the heart of their other selves. While the two chase their respective loved ones, DRAMA ensues as they begin to fall in love with each other instead and question the NATURE of LOVE.

>Akira Kurosawa
>ching chong ping pong ...BANE?

Beginning of CIA, by Hideaki Anno:
m.youtube.com/watch?v=233OwqrLvgE

THE CARDS HAD PREDICTED OUR MEETING: THE BIG MAN; THE CRASHED SHIP.

incredible

>tracking shot following SUV
>cgi gophers with human mannerisms watch SUV from distance
>teenagers in convertible hot rod pull up beside SUV
>gorgeous jewish girl with a yarmulke winks at SUV driver
>SUV driver an Aryan with scars in an American military uniform
>Shot of SUV driver putting SUV in gear revealing an SS tattoo on his wrist
>SUV driver smiles wryly at the Jewish girl
>Jewish girl laughs
>SUV driver laughs revealing a gold tooth
>SUV driver stomps on gas
>SUV driver smashes into hot rod convertible
>SUV driver tries to run over cute gopher bitch
>Indiana Jones whips through SUV window looking confused
>"Bein?"
>"I like Ike"
>"I'm ZIA, 6 million more will dye, Dr. Jonze"
>"Not on his watch, pilgrim"
>"hez watch? Whoze..."
>Batman flys in through windshield
>dolly shot rapidly in on SUV drivers face, looks anxious
>"I'm Batman"
>sad morally conflicted shot of eric bana holding a pistol on his bed

...

[slow clap]

I started laughing in class, fuck

Jesus Christ this is brilliant. Someone screen cap this and edit them together.

Someone pls do a real Kurosawa TDKR. With overexaggerated crowd reactions and sudden loud commanding angry voices and all that. Im not creative enough to do it myself :(.