I used to laugh at the premise of this movie...
I used to laugh at the premise of this movie
If someone REALLY wants to get laid they get laid. Get a prostitute or go to a town with dive bars and get drunk and pick up a drunk chick
Did it become too real for you?
lol its not suppodsef 2 be doccumedntary guiz xD
Why are you doing this to me user, tomorrow is my birthday ( ._.)
9.something years to go before this happens to me.
>go to a town with dive bars and get drunk and pick up a drunk chick
haha gust be urself guys it's that EASY h-hahaa
I lost my virginity this year and I just turned twenty. Is that bad?
I did too
nothing changes when you lose your virginity user.
in fact im more of a loser now than i ever was as a virgin.
Thats literally not what i said. Get drunk and pick up drunk girls so youre both not yourselves. Fuckin virgins man, so beta
yes, in america you're supposed to lose it at like 9 lmao. loser
...
Yes, you are supposed to lose it as a teenager and spend those early years actually getting good at sex
Now you are so far behind that every woman expects you to know what your are doing and will just be disappointed with you
Youll never please a woman and no woman will stay with you long enough to teach you things you're supposed to know
>haha wait 'NO!' don't b urself be sum1 else haha what r u waiting for!
that's why i need to get with a kid so we can learn together ;)
...
I can totally see why you dont get laid now...
I put my penis in a woman at 26 and did like 3 thrusts before I got soft.
I made it guys.
how did it feel?
I lost my virginity to a tight, fit, young teenage girl who also lost it to me when I was 20 and already much older than all the cool people who had been having sex since 14.
She was my first love, we broke up and now its been nothing but years of loveless relationships with fat, slutty, busted chicks with no personality. I gave up even trying to fuck these whores a long time ago because im depressed and I dont love them. Just cum in their mouths, promise sex later and never deliver.
knowing what I had and lost and will most likely never have again is the most painful thing in the world. consider yourself lucky if you can go through life being a virgin wizard. if you do have a young, tight, nice girl with not a lot of mileage on her be the nicest fucking guy in the world and treat her like shes the center of the universe, 247, even if shes a bitch sometimes.
"better to have loved and lost is bullshit"
trust me anons, trust me, im begging you, for your own sake.
>ME SO HORNY? ME SO STUPID!
this line always makes me chuckle
fuck off chad
Because he mocks people who make vague, hackneyed suggestions?
Nah. I mean, yeah the practice comes handy to know where to stop and not cum so fast. But there are a lot of guys who fuck a lot but they dont care about foreplay or pleasing the girl and they arent that good on bed. I lost it at 20 and had a few fucks with my gf back then. Then started fucking at 22 a hot bitch (six months banging her) who had much more sex and partners than me. She told me i was one of the best in bed. So having started early doesn't guarantee youll be good at it. It also depends on chemistry and communication with your partner, i have been pretty crappy with other girls in bed cause just we werent on the same channel or just because there wasnt really no click.
>right, i'm at the bomb, and there's a few wires. Which one do i cut?
>DUDE LOL JUST BE YOURSELF BOMBS LOVE THAT SHIT
you lost her because you believed in true love crap and that being a nice guy is what attracts and keeps women
>Catalog
Terrible, my fap game is better than her pussy game.
>tell you exactly what you should do to get laid cause its obviously a proven method
>vague
pick one
Fuck off steph
but what if she throws up
>vague, hackneyed suggestions
How more explicit do you need it to be? Do you need a goddamn manual and a script?
How do you think people meet people in the real world?
>go to a bar
>get drunk
>find drunk girl
>get laid
>vague
What the actual fuck is wrong with you?
...
>asking this on Sup Forums
i know this is b8, but how retarded are you?
>Do you need a goddamn manual and a script?
yes
>pick up a drunk chick
This is the advice a 15 year old gives.
Do you really think sex is that complicated?
Also
>cropped cartoon porn
You're going to die a virgin
Good lord. Do repeat business with a hooker. Tell her what your deal is. Ask her to fuck the sadboy faggotry out of you. Set up a regular booking.
how do I talk to women? I don't have any stories or jokes, or opinions about anything
do you have sauce on that
Not at all, I lost her because the tighter I tried to hold her the more she slipped away. Im not saying being a nice guy is what attracts women, I dont believe that at all. Im saying if you already have a great girl who you love and have good sex with, treat her amazing no matter if distance emerges, dont claw at the relationship like you're slipping off a cliff, just let go and fall gracefully and maybe, just maybe, youll have a fighting chance to be with her again.
I'll never loose my virginity, I'm well on my 30's and never had any kind of intimate contact with a woman, it's already too late for me.
Imagine being so thin skinned and autistic that you angrily samefag someone who mocks your post for the next 20 minutes kek
you don't. go to a club, wait and find someone drunk, then lead her out and talk about sex. women get really, really horny when they're drunk. you may have to try a few times, also make sure she's not too attractive, they get bitchy. i swear this is how half the average/ugly male population get sex.
don't give her your name or number though.
>this is the reply a virgin gives
have you been out in the real world? this happens every single night all across the world
just talk about maga
I was raped when I was 12.
Then you aren't going to get laid you mopey depressed idiot. Seek therapy or totally change everything about yourself.
t. 15 year old
what happens between finding drunk girl and getting laid? you're skipping over the most crucial part
Green text that story
don't lose your hope guys I lost at 31
it was so nice to finally lose this huge mental stone, but it felt kinda... overrated
>mfw im listening to burzum as i read this comic
could somebody shoop 'The 12 year old rape victim' over the young sheldon promo pic
that would make me laugh
You pick her up dude what's so hard to understand?
I was molested when I was a preteen and I can't relax when someone touches me
how ugly are you
Have you ever been drunk or around drunk people? Conversation will naturally flow. Unless you're one of the weird, bitter, angry drunks who get quiet and are no fun to be with
I'm sorry to hear that, anons.
gotchu senpai
approach and compliment, if she's mildly interested she'll respond. then after a little while say you want to go back to yours or hers. no shame in begging, most likely she's not gonna say "yes let's fuck, come on", you might have to kind of drag here out there. work it. you either win or lose.
why do you think girls go to clubs to get drunk, especially uglier girls.
Fuck you,this hits so close.
>be a loser in high school
>hit a growth spurt at the beginning of college
>still insecure
>start working out and I get a decent body
>start being more relaxed around women
>meet a sister of a friend
>she is 19 and I am 25
>we make out and she says slow down
>starts talking about how she is uneasy doing it with me because I am probably way more experienced than her (she has only been with one guy)
>the pressure killed my boner
>never called her after
To make things worse,my friend was fucking this girl 5 years his senior and she was obsessed with him and the "moves the kid had".
GET OUT CHAD
ITV2?
22 years for me feels good man
You already had her naked in bed you should've just went with it and said she was your first. Who knows maybe she would've got off to that
exquisitely ugly
First you sneak up behind her and whisper in her ear in your best Bane voice, "Hey baby wanna trade diseases? I'm a big guy for you." If she takes a drink before turning around, you're in.
>don't lose your hope guys I lost at 31
I'm almost your age, exactly in what kind of situation did you lose it? And did it come up in conversation?
>totally change everything about yourself
But I thought I was supposed to just be myself?
Fuck off normalfag.
She wasn't naked,she was wearing yoga pants and sweatshirt. I don't think she would get off on that,she liked me because I was her sister's mature,older friend (in college,25 is like 40). But yeah,it was a huge mistake,I should have just fucked her and see what happens. I hate my character,it's still defeatist.
FYI these threads are fucking toxic and create a negative self-fulfilling prophecy.
The second I stop coming into them I got laid.
Best advice you will get from this thread.
I was assaulted a couple months ago.
I have no interest in women whatsoever anymore.
there's literally nothing wrong with being virgin
Would you want to be with a girl who was boring, had no interests, opinions, or hobbies, and had nothing to talk about?
>three more levels till wizard status
>already have a bunch of points in alcoholism tree
also got points in high blood pressure and high blood sugar tress, shits gonna be synergized as fuck
How has that worked out so far?
nice blog homo
kys incel
Sorry, I don't speak mongoloid.
Obviously I'm being facetious, I just find it funny how out of touch someone has to be to offer that advice to a person who's genuinely struggling. "If it worked for me it must work for everyone!"
We /tv9k/ now
unironically yes
just become a bugchaser DESU.
literally guaranteed to get laid.
Does she swallow
Yes there is, trust me I'm a virgin.
>tfw 27yo touchless virgin NEET
>haven't talked to a girl since highschool and even that about the weather or what time it is
>exercising 6 days a week while cutting calories
>lost 15 lbs in 3 weeks
>could potentially have a chad body by summer
Is looks enough or do I need a personality to get laid too?
I was a few years young than that when a nurse stuck her hand down my pants and was feeling around down there. This wasn't normal penis inspection, either. She was going to town and dirty talking to me. I was too young and scared to know what was going on so I never mentioned it to anyone.
>summer
It is summer bro
It's easy to get laid. Just become a Soundcloud rapper and say you're nonbinary and pansexual
>tfw lost my virginity at 19 so was technically a teenager
Best part of losing my virginity was that it opened up my access to prostitutes as I didn't want the shame of paying to pop my cherry.
Are you a virgin if you've had sex but it's only with girls from the internet a couple of who didn't know what your face looked like beforehand?
I've never had sex with or tried to have sex with a girl from irl.
looks is largely irrelevant, unless you mean from skinnyfat ugly to prime man meat. just browse /fit/ for a while, you'll see.
Most of that was probably fluid fag
The only intrests and hobbies I have are writing video gaymes and nerd shit and I dont liaten to music.
How do I find common ground with girls?
take her out to a nice dinner and rape her
Remember that there are countless of chicks/women from the same community/background as you and lower who might consider having sex/being with you if you are not a complete slob.