British boarding school

>British boarding school
>no one has sex

They had group masturbation sessions. Especially Hufflepuff. Which is odd since they're the dullest House in the history of Hogwarts Houses.

>British boarding school
>no one has gay sex

>British boarding school
>No muslims or diversity campus

Not just taking polyjuice to turn into Hermione and letting all the boys ram it into you all day long.

It's an example of one of the dullest franchises in the history of movie franchises. Each episode following the boy Arnold having to be all like "damn, Jamie Curtis, you fuckin' fine, all sexy with your tight body and horrific androgynous monster face. I would totally have sex with you, both my character and the real me." when all he really wants to do is fuck another 16 year old in his dressing room. Like seriously imagine having to be Arnold and not only sit in that chair while Jamie Lee Curtis flaunts her disgusting body in front of you, the favorable lighting barely concealing her stretchmarks and leathery skin, and just sit there, take after take, hour after hour, while she perfected that dance.

Not only having to tolerate her monstrous fucking visage but her haughty attitude as everyone on set tells her she's STILL GOT IT and DAMN, JAMIE LEE CURTIS LOOKS LIKE THAT?? because they're not the ones who have to sit there and watch her mannish fucking gremlin face contort into types of grimaces you didn't even know existed before that day. You've been fucking nothing but a healthy diet of blondes and supermodels and later alleged rape victims for your ENTIRE CAREER coming straight out of the boonies in Austria. You've never even seen anything this fucking disgusting before.

>a-and now you swear you can taste the sweat
"No!"
That's breaking out on her dimpled stomach as she sucks it in to writhe it suggestively at you.

Smugly assured that you are enjoying the opportunity to get paid to sit there and revel in her "statuesque (for that is what she calls herself)" beauty. The beauty she worked so hard for with personal trainers in the previous months. And then the director calls for another take, and you know you could kill every single person in this room before the studio security could put you down, but you sit there and endure, because you're fucking Arnold. You're not going to lose your future political career over this. Just bear it. Hide your face and bear it.

>no ginny giney

Cho Chang takes monster shits.

>EXPECTO ABORTUS

>british anything
>no muslims
>no trucks of peace
>no rapes
>no explosions
You could tell it was set in the 90s lmao

>british boarding school
>catch mohammed raping a goat

Didn't that character get canonically BLACKED

Except there were. pay attention to the credits of either Goblet of Fire or Order of the Phoenix.

Yep. Negro wizard Dean Thomas was her first bull. How can little Potty compete with that?

>American boarding school
>only 52% of pupils are white

Thats because HP is for little children and if you like it you are a literal toddler

the guys probably played wet biscuit in their dorm

TINY. WHITE. WANDS.
BIG. BLACK. STAFFS.

Yep can't believe the One settled for a fucking coalburner.

This guy gets it.

It's "wingardium levio-SAH".

List of great works of modern fiction

No Dune

Fuck your academic literary elitism son

I actually went to a British boarding school and the whole thing was specifically designed to make it as difficult as possible to have sex. Like a few people managed it but boys and girls had different houses and the girls were escorted everywhere til they got to 6th form.

I managed to get my knob wet when i was 15 but even then that was in a bush just off school grounds with a girl from another school.

i managed was a wank in the computer room too

>"No!"
Based.

There's a deleted scene in Goblet of Fire were Snape catches a couple fucking in a stage coach at the ball.

Boring pasta.

Oh, and fuck Ayn Rand

...

they are all too fucking ugly

I like to this is where fanfiction steps up to the plate, the story of the movies/books only have their important stuff happen over a pretty damn small number of days and the timeskips are weeks and months.
>harry/pansy best ship