If you could pick a Hollywood celeb to be your father and raise you who would it be and why would it be Tom Cruise?

If you could pick a Hollywood celeb to be your father and raise you who would it be and why would it be Tom Cruise?

Probably like Sean Connery or Clint Eastwood, but Eastwood's wife and daughters are a complete wreck so if I had to deal with them I don't know if it would be worth it.

Dan Schneider.

ugh I bet the Eastwood household is really toxic with all their republicanism

Simon Pegg

lmao do you want your soul and body both sold to a death cult centered around the hoarding of wealth by its leaders?

oh me too, what a coincidence, we must be brothers! we can tag team iCarly or whatever shit he made.

Nah,Eastwood or Connery would be god tier to meet but he would suck as a father because nothing you do will ever impress him because he has done it all. Also they would fuck your girlfriends.

/thread

The only correct response.

>wanting a man baby father unironically

Kek

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He looks a bit like the retarded freak I used to live next to as a kid. This takes me back to my most disturbing childhood memory.

>be 8/9 years old
>to the right of my house lives a divorced prick whose kids visit once every few months
>his FAS daughter is sort of friendly but kind of dumb
>his 10 year old son is a mentally challenged chubby midget and super violent (although he very much wanted to be my friend. I mostly acted friendly towards him and that kept him from biting me like he did with most kids on the street)
>to my left lives another divorced guy whose kids come over more often
>he has a son of about 11, a daughter of 9, and some disfigured 7 year old boy who was only physically challenged
>go over to the house on my house's left one day
>the 7 year old and FAS girl are playing in the living room
>dad is nowhere to be seen
>ask where the others are (the 11 year old was my best friend of the bunch)
>"they're upstairs"
>go upstairs
>hear crying
>enter the kids's bedroom
>the retarded freak is somehow raping the 9 year old girl with his 10 year old penis
>the 11 year old guy is sitting in a chair and is watching his sister getting raped
>the 11 year old is giving the retard directions
>walk away without them noticing me
>stop hanging out with those kids
>never mention it to anyone until this post

>this triggers the beta male

Jesus this was easier than I thought.

0/10

>not wanting four mothers

/thread

Would be a great father.

Moar!

>not choosing keanu
you inhuman monsters

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The disfigured 7 year old used to eat any insect/arachnid/bug you gave him. He'd eat worms to freak people out, and I even saw him eat a daddy long legs once the absolute madman. Funnily enough he was also highly intelligent and a violin prodigy.

>wanting a father with autism

hopefully blood related right?

See

These are the only acceptable answers.

You should track them down on facebook and ask them about that day. They have a lot of answering to do.

Tom Hanks

mel gibson

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>tfw someone posted a pic of that kid a few days before this stuff happened and I posted "hey is he going to be a trap?"
oh fuck what did I do

I don't get the controversy.

If a girl dresses up as Hans Solo it's "awesome" and the dad "wins at parenting".

Boy dresses up as a female superhero and it's the end of civilization.

Why the hypocrisy?

Its disgusting. And Harley Quinn is a shit character.

how much of a pleb are you

That doesn't explain anything

Han Solo is a lovable rogue with a heart of gold who turns out to be a good friend and a positive rolemodel.

Harley Quinn is a mentally damaged woman in an abusive relationship with a mad man who's been redesigned to be a whore in recent years.

I wonder why children imitating one is worse than the other.

underrated post

So if he had gone as Scarlet Widow, it would have been fine?

it would have been better yeah

Would it have been fine?

DON'T REPLY TO THIS THREAD! IT WAS OBVIOUSLY MADE BY SCIENTOLOGY!

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to me personally no

i don't think you should put your son in sexualized girly costumes

But putting girls in masculine costumes is fine?

Who is the mother then? A Kennedy or a housekeeper?

well what is a "masculine" costume? probably akin to more normal clothes as opposed to something fetishy like harleys tiny short shorts and black widows skintight bodysuit spandex

>wanting to be an oven dodger

I thought of him, but only if it morphs my DNA to be his actual son. If he was just raising me as I am, I would literally never be able to measure up. Being a manlet raised by Arnold would probably fuck your self-image up even worse than just being short. Plus, he never struck me as a great father. His illegitimate kid is the most like him, and that's likely because he was so desperate to be acknowledged as his son he started following his fitness footsteps.
As a manlet, being raised by Cruise would be the optimal situation for me, minus the Scientology.

The only correct answer.

It's just more evidence that Schreiber fucks his kid

i'd be the bastard child of a spic house keeper before i was a kennedy to be perfectly honest

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Plz stop posting this ok every board

If you can pump your kids full of sex hormones, you can pump them full of dick, you intolerant Trumptard.

those are eyes that have seen some shit. afraid and tired but unflinching and strong

William Shatner

Aidan Gillen

when Arnolds your father, does mother even matter?

jack nicholson

so you all want a Jewish father?

Nothing wrong with that unless your a stormweenie

Can I be raised by a single mother Kate Beckinsale? PLEASE?

> tfw you will never run away from cops with kevin costner

tom cruise seems cool but its no doubt a facade to cover up all his scientogy/hollywood elite evils

Holy Kek

bruce lee

fpbp

its faggotry, if you allow this sort of things there wil be all types of faggets and gays and shit walking around, im from beunos ares and i say kill them all

Because he's clearly on some kind of contract with the scientologists to shill their religion and i could probably get grandfathered in to the upper circle.

this is objectively correct

Say what you will about Cruise but he always brings 110% into production, never phones it in

Alec Baldwin.

Cruise has and will continue to be /our guy/

Pic related

>would keep the estrogen, flouride and other chemicals out of your food and water, ensuring you don't become an emasculated amalgamation of a man by your late teens
>would ensure a optimum diet with supplements
>bbqs, shooting, camping, fishing, lifting
>in-depth knowledge of crazy ass conspiracies

Yeah Keanu has a great history with having children

>wanting to be raised a scientologist

NOT

WORTH

IT

This guy would be