We can't have Peter married because then he'd be unrelatable

>We can't have Peter married because then he'd be unrelatable.

>Instead let's make him a billionaire philanthropist douchebag scientist who travels the world to new and exotic locations.

Still more reletable than a happily married man

bankrupt in like the next 5 years I'd wager.

probably get his old Bugle job back too

yeah, nerd stuff

>Still wont go back to MJ.

It hurts.

Also spider person who dates supermodels, girls next door, and has every villainess in new york wanting his tiny penis.

Only one part of that is relatable to your average reader.

Name one cape character that doesn't date supermodels and doesn't have villainesses cock lusting them.

there is no necessity of a rocket scientist to know that sooner or later everything is going back to the status quo

Nah, he's been a scientist for five years now. I'd say a lot sooner than that. The issue I have is the marriage thing.

Sixpack

Happily married science teacher Peter is still best Peter. And yes I'm still fucking mad

This. All of it. I honestly have no idea why they felt the need to change it.

It's one part nostalgia, one part NOT MUH, one part fear, and one part self-insertion.

They fear that if Peter isn't superficially similar to how he started, kids won't like him (even though he had a resurgence in the early 90's and 2000's). They resent that their OTP isn't canon, and they don't like that they can't live vicariously through Peter as he flirts with many women.

Peter should have taken over the Iron Man Mantle, and retired his Spider-Man one to Miles.

Fuck Riri.

Hate Riri but that's a terrible idea user

Blue Beetle, non-Winick Jason Todd, Plastic Man, Sam Alexander, plenty of characters.

What's funny is people like to say Peter is a relatable hero or an everyman, when he's an incredibly witty genius who is tougher and more pure-hearted than anyone else and has every woman he interacts with want to become his cockslave.

But apparently having money is where Spiderfags draw the line...

>probably get his old Bugle job back too

You know this is going to happen because comics writers are completely creatively bankrupt. If the idea wasn't thought up by the 60s, it ain't going to last.

Meanwhile over at DC married Superman is doing insanely well. Because, you know, fucking having an actual character.

Will the Sun ever shine on Spider-Man again?

>more pure-hearted than anyone else
He sold his daughter to satan.
So, maybe not so much that one.

Mind telling me who the fuck they are then?

When Quasada, Slott, and Bendis die.

How about we just kill off Miles and Riri? Or at least give Miles a new name finally.

>he's an incredibly witty genius

He's a moderate genius by 616 standards. Making him a scientist because he made webs is retarded since 616 level geniuses are mastering trans-dimensional shit.

>who is tougher and more pure-hearted than anyone else

He's pretty weak in comparison to the other Marvel characters. Unless for some reason you thing all your heroes should have the same strengths as a normal human. Also he is the most pure-hearted 616 character, everyone else in that reality is a massive tool. That's why he's used as the voice of reason in most events.

that peter being married doesn't sell is the lamest fucking excuse. Back in the late 80's and 90's there were 6 fucking Spider-Man books all sold all had Peter and MJ married

>Meanwhile over at DC married Superman is doing insanely well.

This will not last. All the 'not muh's' are temporarily back and the 'hey, let's check in with the new superboy' passers by will move on.

They're already writing superdad as a violence prone 'first punch' or an 'attack anyone who looks at my family out of the corner of their eye' kind of dude. This superman is scared all the time and that's always a bad idea.

>more pure-hearted than anyone else

Oh fuck off with this shit. No one who makes a deal with the devil is pure hearted. That dude is always exactly one relative in the hospital away from being a supervillain.

How to fix this: have Parker Industries get slandered and its name dragged through the mud, forcing Peter to shut down operations, and eventually getting a job as a science teacher and hooking back up with Mary Jane, leading up to an anti-OMD arc where they regain their memories and decide to remarry.

And let Slott write a Superior ongoing with Otto, in a cloned, plastic surgeried Peter body, as the Iron Spider running a tech startup stepping into the role that Parker Industries was filling. All of the best bits of SpOck with none of the "everyone else has to be an idiot for the plot to work" or shitting on existing characters.

Only Jurgens did that in Action.

>character does something hilariously stupid in one story that everyone regards as terrible, so let's throw out every other instance where the writers make him out to be a saint

Fuck off with this shit.

>Only Jurgens did that in Action.

Name a time he didn't then? Hell, he just came off quite threatening to Lana Lang of all people when the latter caught Lois snooping in a dead woman's apartment. This superman has a hair trigger and it's that wife and kid of his.

>Fuck off with this shit.

Bullshit. If the cure for Aunt May's upset stomach was in the heart of a homeless orphan Peter would have Aunt may eating chili again in thirty minutes or less.

realistically how do you go from a $1,000,000,000 to nothing and living with your mom?

obviously Ana Maria or that scientist chick is going to have a heel turn and bamboozle Parker out of his billions, but it's so stupid, Axel Alonzo is the worst EIC Marvel ever had

He didn't beat the shit out of Aquaman even though Arthur threw the first punch and was acting like an insecure prick.

I like it user.

Care to cite an example of Peter making someone else's life worse to make May's life better? Besides OMD?

>I don't like it when people write characters likable.

I'm almost afraid to ask who your favorite character is.

>He didn't beat the shit out of Aquaman even though Arthur threw the first punch

Were Lois or his kid anywhere nearby? Cause he only seems to act like a scared violence junky when someone frowns in their general direction.

>If he isn't constantly doing things that are hilarious stupid that is regarded as terrible than he's pure-hearted.

Fucking edge fags, man.

Well user implies that Otto comes back, so maybe he finds a way to legally sue? Or maybe the funds that Otto used from his secret account to fund PI comes and bites Peter in the ass.

It's fine that Peter is likable but he is not relatable.

My favorite character is the Question. Someone who happens to be likable but not because he's perfect.

They weren't. Superman did act like a dick to Jon's friend's dad, admittedly. He seems like an overly defensive parent haha.

You've either A) Never been poor in your life.

or

B) Never been down on your luck.

Either way, Peter's not perfect. I don't know how the hell you came to that conclusion. Besides listing things that all heroes go through judging by your earlier post.

His bad luck is not something wrong with him, it is something wrong with the world around him. Luck isn't even real. The character's not relatable because bad shit happens to him. How many readers have had their girlfriend's murdered by a supervillain?

So literally the only thing relatable about him is that he's strapped for cash?

Peter is funny, smart, attractive and kind.

>Besides OMD?

You mean besides that time he did exactly that, huh? Lemme check the wiki real quick...

He beat Gargan mercilessly because May was sick once. He also broke a whistle blower out of jail that Osborn wanted to kill that one time because May was held hostage. So not only will he crack that orphan open to get the Pepto for Aunt May, he'd kill an ex-con because he was sad about her having heartburn on the way back.

Okay, you're right.

>he traded the """"life""'" of his unconceived child for the life of the woman he loves most in the world
so evil

>Peter
>Pure hearted

Amazing Spider-Man #1 opens with Peter contemplating the prospect of living through robbery.

>Giving up your unborn child and ruining your life.
>For a woman that's like 70-80 and whose death you've dealt with twice before.

That's dumb and only 60's Peter should/would do something like that.

>"giving up" a child that isnt alive in anyway to save the life of someone who is
that's what I said, yes.
Aunt May was health as an ox and the only reason she was dying in the first place was because of a bullet meant for him, of course he's gonna do whatever he can to save her

>no matter what the cost!

I'm telling you, that dude would knock over every bank in town if May needed a new diamond encrusted Rascal.

>Aunt May was health as an ox

A 20 year old ox. (which google lead me to believe is the average lifespan of one)

That makes absolutely no sense for a post-Dead Gwen Peter.

A High School Peter, sure, but a Post-Marriage Peter would be unable to take an innocent life that hasn't even begun just for his own selfish desires. It flies in the face of all of his character development. It makes the times May died even more shitty than bringing her back did.

Fucking God told him "bitch, don't." It just doesn't follow that Peter would do that.

He refused to do anything illicit when May was pawning off her jewelry, and that was back when he was an impulsive teenager who actually entertained ideas like maybe letting Flash die and crippling people.

>take an innocent life that hasn't even begun
>take a life that hasnt started
>knowing the girl was innocent just because

Don't they have a bunch of billionare scientists already

I can't tell if you're being a shit or you're stupid enough that you don't understand that a life that hasn't begun or hasn't reached a reasoning status is generally considered "innocent."

And really, are you seriously casting doubt on temporal bullshit in Marvel fucking Comics?

>He refused to do anything illicit when May was pawning off her jewelry

Hitting the pawn shop isn't desperation, sucking cock for money is desperation. If she was able to hock some shit then it wasn't quite go time. When the shit hits the fan we all know Peter will do whatever it takes to help her. That will include breaking all sorts of laws.

That's just a fact.

>He'd do anything for her slightest whim!
>What about that time wh-
>I MEAN IF IT WAS REALLY SERIOUS!
Nice goalposts, faggot.

Peter regarded it as really fucking serious, akin to "we're going to be evicted if I don't get money soon!" at the time and didn't go robbing banks.

Except he refused to go rob banks entirely for Aunt May's sake. It'd defeat the entire point to rob a place for her.

>tiny penis

Are that guy that commissioned that thing?

What would Spider-Man see if Ghost Rider used the Penance Stare on him?

>Nice goalposts, faggot.

Sorry you're too busy polishing that halo you've made for Peter to see that he will not only beat a guy half to death if he's sad about Aunt May stuff, he's also well known to directly deal with demons for her too.

You pure hearted husbando is, exactly like I said, one sick relative away from robbing banks. You've offered but one argument against that and that's "he didn't stop her from going to a pawn shop that one time." lol. The goal posts are still here and I keep making all these extra points.

>Except he refused to go rob banks entirely for Aunt May's sake.

He refused to rob banks to keep her in Jewelry. That's completely different. He will rob banks to keep her breathing.

The paranoid conspiracy theorist in me suggests that Marvel let Slott do this so that when ""journalism"" sites complain about the classic characters being offensive male power fantasies they have an example primed and ready

same thing he sees everyday, dead uncle

....what?

That are a million times starter than Peter

He is (or was) one of the few super-heroes whose secret double life was such that he still had visible struggles. Tony Stark was already carefree enough so that nobody batted an eye when he disappeared, Steve Rogers spends more time in costume anyway, Thor has no secret identity, neither the X-men etc.
We actually saw as much of Peter as of Spider-man, and both have their own life in a way. Most super-heroes nowadays act the same in and out of costume, Peter Parker does not (or did not).
Oh and most people are strapped for cash a large amount of time. That's plenty relatable.

>one sick relative away from robbing banks
Oh, and this also makes him relatable, in a way. Guys like Thor and Iron Man would need to have some serious shit heaved on them to get to that "one bad day is all it takes" moment, Peter - like many people irl - constantly lives there and struggles against it.

>He refused to rob banks to keep her in Jewelry.
Thank you for admitting you have not read ASM. That is not remotely like what happened.

Or used to, seeing as he's now a millionaire.

I'm still anal about it.

>Sorry you're too busy polishing that halo you've made for Peter to see that he will not only beat a guy half to death if he's sad about Aunt May stuff, he's also well known to directly deal with demons for her too.
Motherfucker, Peter COMPLAINED AT A GUY HE LET DIE FOR GETTING IN THE WAY.

I don't have any illusions of him being a swell person, early Peter was a fucking cunt. I'm saying that OMD was entirely against his character at that point in time.

wait you're not a rich single man?

spiderman is a character for children, who gives a fuck

What is with all this trading and taking on of other people's superhero identities?

he ain't so pure

>still reading ASM

Is he turning into Tony Stark Jr. because MJ dated Stark after breaking it off with Pete? That's kinda pathetic, honestly.

( I've said this many times before)

OMD happened because the cartoons always portrayed him as a highschooler and when those newb Spiderfans turned off their TVs and picked up their first comics they were upset to be reading about an old man in his 20s.
So in order to make the synergy work better Marvel zapped him back to life-failure.
This would have worked if it wasn't too late to capitalize off of the cartoon's brief popularity, but all it did was alienate the existing fanbase, because they missed their window for recruiting newbs.
Not that there was anything wrong with him being married, but it really did make him seem older than he was meant to be.
It's been a decade since then, if he hasn't done anything with his life yet (he's pushing 30!) he won't be seen as a genius anymore. And his brains were always as much a part of his character as his webs.

It's a reverse rebound.

Problem this idea was thought up in the 60's. There was this character that was based off of Howard Hughes and his whole shtick was that he was this tech genius billionaire that used his technology to deal with the major issues of the country.

He even did this whole thing of his super hero identity being officially his body guard like Park is doing with Spidy today.

I believe his name had something to do with metal.

>Thank you for admitting you have not read ASM

Going to the pawn shop isn't like going in for chemo. Your argument was literally "he didn't do anything illegal to keep her from pawning her jewelry" Yeah, it's a real saint we've got on our hands here.

>Oh, and this also makes him relatable, in a way.

It does, but it's also clear proof that he's not as pure as the driven snow like some of the people here have gone on about.

>Motherfucker, Peter...

Beat Gargan half to death while he was trying to reform himself. Being more likely to use all caps doesn't make you more llikely to be right, btw.

Underrated post

Which cartoon? The one from the 90s where he was already in college at the start, and eventually shared his identity with MJ and actually married her except that one was a clone lol whoops?

She's been his endgame romance longer than most Spider-fans have been alive.

>But Peter did a bad thing!
What the absolute fuck does that have to do with anything? I just said that Peter is a huge cunt.

What the absolute fuck does beating up an ex-crook have to do with anything? How is that a rebuttal to my point?

Not sure how you think so.

He was a pupil of sorts to Stark, he's already made Iron Man Tech armor in ends of the earth, and he now has a billion dollar company to supply the tech he needs. It beats some random black bitch running around as Iron Man, and having 2 spidermen.

Their romance and eventual marriage was one of the longest subplots fucking ever. MJ was dating Peter on-again-off-again longer than Gwen Stacey was alive.

>Starfire
>Lusting for Jason's cock
Sorry, user. Doesn't seem like you read comics, either

Everyone knows Starfire loves dick.

Actually user, that's because now we have Miles. See, now Miles will be the eternal sad sack, never able to truly grow up and perpetually down on his luck. Now, Peter, and more importantly his writing staff, can do whatever they want.

But yeah, he's probably not gonna get back with MJ unless a miracle happens. At least Bendis stopped writing her before something stupid happened.

Because I just want Spider Man and Iron Man, and no legacy bullshit. Is that so fucking hard?

They kissed so it counts. It was the transferring of language, but it still fucking counts.

>But yeah, he's probably not gonna get back with MJ unless a miracle happens.

But that was the endgame! It's literally pointless without her!

Could someone red pill me on spider-man?
I lost track a while after the soul changing
shenanigans with doc ock. How come he is now
another tony stark?

>What the absolute fuck does that have to do with anything?

I see you're still mad as fuck (for no apparent reason I might add), but I'm the guy arguing that Peter isn't a saint. You're the guy pissing his pants and being mad about stuff. If you want people to understand you, you might want to consider writing a little more intelligibly.

FYI: getting pissed off that people misunderstand your crazy rants is pretty god damned stupid and kind of funny actually.

>Hate Riri but that's a terrible idea user

I actually like that idea. It would be funny to have the suit lose power occasionally and still have Iron man kick the shit out of the bad guy.

Doc Ock wanted to be corporate overlord of the world while he was still young... again.

Short answer: We don't know.

Long answer: After Secret Wars there was an eight month period that we didn't see. His company took off in those eight months and he had a ton of off screen adventures that involved him learning to drive, getting a new costume, and some event that caused him to make a whole bunch of vehicles.