Lying in bed meditating on the crucifixion of Christ

>lying in bed meditating on the crucifixion of Christ
>mom walks in and tells me to stop "sleeping" because I'm late for school
>patiently remind her that I don't sleep... I just dream
>she abruptly opens the curtains and walks out
>light up a cigarette and walk slowly to my R.E. lesson
>slide into my seat at the back of class
>they are discussing the afterlife
>I loudly announce they are all racing to a red light
>teacher asks if i can understand how belief in an afterlife may provide solace to some people
>i tell him fairy tales aren't good for anybody
>he asks why i begrudge people the right to their own personal beliefs
>ask him "They gotta get together and tell stories that violate every law of the universe just to get through the goddamn day? What's that say about their reality?"
>"You haven't answered the question, user."
>"Then start asking the right fucking questions."
>tired of this low IQ. I take a beer out of my bag and crack it open.
>"What the hell are you doing?" he stammers.
>"It's Thursday and it's past noon. On Thursdays I start drinking at noon. You don't get to interrupt that."
>he tries to confiscate my beer but I capture him in an armlock
>he becomes vexed and smacks the back of my head
>I look him straight in the eye and tell him prison is real fuckin' hard on people who hurt kids
>add "If you get the opportunity, you should kill yourself."
>walk out of class, pausing briefly at the door to give God the finger.

Even god cannot save you, Jason Levy.

You're worthless.

Casper knew this.

>I look him straight in the eye and tell him prison is real fuckin' hard on people who hurt kids
kek

...

kek

>trying to pass pasta as oc

Post of the decade

jesus christ, savage

entertaining read

7/10 needs some more spice

time is a flat circle user

>hm hm... and finally... we arrrrrrive... at Reginald Ledew

kek

come and die with me, little priest

*burp* God's not real Marty.

"I'm tellin' ya Marty I see tha killer in my head"
"rust, wowt in the fuck are you towkin about"
"dude god isn't real lmao"
**aggressively sucks cigarette**

damn, HBO sure know how to make edgelords "cool"

It should probably be noted that almost every single major figure in the atheist movement is Jewish. You could make a compelling argument that atheism is specifically being pushed by Jews in today's society, and they seem to largely be targeting western Christians and only them.

For example, Sam Harris, Chapman Cohen, David Silverman, Michael Newdow, Gregory Epstein, Sherman Wine, Bill Maher, Eric Kaufmann, and of course, Richard Dawkins's mother has a Jewish surname and was stated to have lived in the only Jewish suburb of the city she grew up in. But he hasn't explicitly named her religion.

But that's only a tiny part of the list. We could discuss the Jewish atheists who aren't pushing atheism so much as atheism-enabling political views like Marxism. For example Soklonikov, Trotsky, Deutscher, Lenin, Uritsky, Kamenev, Zinoviev and Sverdlov.

And what about atheist Jewish public entertainers that constantly run down Christianity? We can go ahead and recycle Bill Maher here and also include Jon Leibowitz, Stephen Fry, Woody Allen, Rob Reiner, Daniel Radcliffe, Larry David, David Silverman, and... I'm sure I'm close to the post cap, so rather than just name the rest of Hollywood, you get the point.

PURE COINCIDENCE though.

> walking down the hall reading about human theory
> its all so pointless
> gym bully grabs me, tosses me in the bathroom, and rapes me
> epiphanies everywhere
> i am now a warrior of good

Silly goy you don't want children, a family or belief in something greater than yourself. You just want to play video games and smoke weed.

Casper knew this

How are you jewish if you're an atheist? Judaism is a religion. Or are you just saying that a lot of the major figures in the atheist movement were correct about there not actually being a god (or at least not one we have any evidence for or understanding of) while quietly maintaing their belief that there actually is a god?

Interesting post, idk if you thought about it much but it raises some good questions

But Bill Maher also shits on muslims though

Thanks OP this made me want to watch True Detective again

he's a disbeliever in atheism - an atheistatheist
and rightly so, none of those people are atheists
it's a very high brow intellectual non-religion that brainlets like you couldn't even begin to comprehend
what evidence do you have for atheism existing?

ashkenazi jews are an ethnic group

Pickle Rust, Christ

who /green ears/ here??

why was the last episode so bad it was so shit it ruined the whole series for me
its like they didnt know how to end it

You mean McConauhey. Just look at S2.

Take your meds

...

GOD DAMN

For real?

Why does Sup Forums label anything thought- provoking as pretentious, while simultaneously praising films like Batman V. Superman?

Yes.

Was it that thought provoking though.

Because the site is filled with unironic christians who get triggered whenever anyone implies god isn't real.

>that
I think that's the keyword here, it's a bit thought provoking but not excessively so. Which is better than a lot of television

Yes, it's a masterpiece.

>last episode
>I changed my mind *BURP* Marty. I was wrong Marty, God is-- God is real Marty. Marty God is *BURP* real.

>times you felt like rust cohle
too lazy to write it again so just repost

not christians, just contrarians who were at first atheist to be contrarian to christians, and now that atheists are a normal mainstream thing it's contrarian to make fun of them

as funny as the first time i read it

>jews are a religion
I guess that's why Israel uses DNA tests on immigrants? Fuck off, mordechai

I think the point is that nepotism is most likely to correlate with religion and not race.

How about you actually read up on what you're discussing? The kikes literally, unironically believe they are the descendants of the tribe of Israel. They hardly accept converts at all, and even then it's rare cases of kikes marrying shiksas (goyim making babby with jewess is autojew, helps the tribe survive all the cuckings). They are the fucking definition of an ethnic group. The religion is something that helps bind them together by preserving the blood ties. You can't just go to a synagogue and convert to judaism. Well you probably can in some places, but the other kikes can simply not accept you. They also do most of their breeding in the hasidic community, the secular kikes around the edges reproduce below replacement and don't facilitate much gene flow inward.

Sure, but people that are ethnic jews and aren't a part of the religion probably don't give two shits about 'we wuz israelites and shiet'. I'm not arguing that the supposed nepotism comes from converted jews. I'm saying that it would most likely come from those that subscribe to the beliefs, which would be the religious jews.

The things i'll do to get my hands on that body....

I'm legitimately confused if this is supposed to be a play on True Detective or Rick and Morty.

But user OP has a piktur of Matty MacConnoly and that means hes the True Dicktectave

you're an idiot

I don't think he was. I think he was just serving a time honored tradition.

KEK

lol

>muh Israel
Literally none of the people that user named is from Israel. They are also of blatantly varying ethnicities. You're a moron.

OP is a fag but this is still better than any other thread right now.

Real Christians don't browse Sup Forums.

Executive Producer: Woody Harrelson

I wrote this shit. I don't have any more Rust ones but I have others that are even older

>go alone to see 'Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Pt. 2'
>arrive five minutes late because the cab driver took me the long route
>start to sweat profusely as I notice the hot ticket girl
>shuffle towards the counter, being careful not to trip over
>stutter that I'd like one ticket to Harry Potter
>she smiles slightly and says, "that will be $7.80 please"
>I only have $7.60 because my cab cost more than I anticipated
>she tells me that I'll have to borrow 20c from one of my friends or something
>"I-I don't have any friends"
>she says, "then I'm sorry, sir, but you'll have to leave the queue"
>a lump forms in my throat and I feel like I'm about to cry
>some normalfag who was standing in the queue gives me 20c so I can watch the movie
>too shy to say thank you so I snatch it from him and pay as fast as I can
>hear him mutter "asshole" as I walk away
>get my ticket ripped by the ticket stub guy
>"enjoy the movie!"
>"you too"
>immediately realize my mistake and try to disguise it with a fake coughing fit
>a blob of phlegm accidentally shoots from the back of my throat onto his lapel
>he gets mad and tells me to wipe it off
>I laugh awkwardly and try to walk away, growing increasingly red
>he grabs my cape and wipes the phlegm on it
>try to escape but he won't let go of my cape

tbc

>it tautens until it looks like he's holding me on a leash
>a crowd is gathering now
>a little kid gets excited and shouts "Avada Kedavra!" and punches me in the thigh
>I force a smile and pretend it didn't hurt, even as I slowly keel to the floor
>a group of teenage girls begin to laugh hysterically
>the kid rests his foot on my head in a gesture of triumph, as when David slew Goliath
>pretend to have a seizure so he'll leave me alone, but get self-conscious and only do it half-heartedly
>"okay, enough's enough, dude," the ticket stub guy says as he forcibly drags me to my feet
>presently I limp into my screen and find a seat right in the middle of the theater
>withdraw my tin of baked beans and can opener from my fanny pack
>forgot to bring a spork so I have to drink the beans straight from the tin
>the man sitting behind asks me to remove my wizard hat
>I mumble an apology and take it off, which causes my secret stash of spaghetti to run down my face
>panic and start eating it as quickly as possible, before someone sees
>it goes down the wrong passage and I start choking
>the woman sitting next to me gives me the heimlich maneuver
>I get an erection and my penis pokes out of my fly, which I now realize had been open the whole time
>she screams and flings me over a row of seats
>I tumble onto a little girl's lap
>the little girl says "mommy, why is that man's pee-pee so small?"
>I climax, then enter a state of delirium from the choking
>two Death Eaters grab me and escort me outside to wait for the police
>"Ron! Hermione! Help meee!!!"
>receive two year sentence in Azkaban for sexual assault on a minor

>day of the high school prom
>I haven't arranged a date so I'll just have to woo a lady whilst I'm there
>slick my hair back and style my facial hair into a Fu Manchu moustache
>wear my finest silk kimono, with my lucky Jigglypuff t-shirt on underneath
>arrive fashionably late and ride my segway into the hall like a boss
>find a seat near the snack table and start playing 'Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney' on my DS
>a group of jocks start throwing chicken drumsticks at me
>one of them informs me that Melanie, the hottest girl in school, has a crush on me
>I jump to my feet and shout "Yatta!"
>suddenly remember I have a phobia of dancing and start shaking violently
>reluctantly shuffle onto the dance floor
>maintain intense eye contact with her as I half-heartedly do the robot
>everyone's looking at me
>slowly move closer until I'm right in the middle of her group of friends
>by now my face is bright red and tears are streaming down my cheeks
>"konichiwa," I say, and bow deeply as I offer her my hand
>her friends burst into laughter and shove her towards me
>I embrace her and whisper into her ear that I always knew she would be the one to take my cherry

tbc

>she screams and her previous dancing partner comes running to her aid
>she falls into his arms and tells him I tried to rape her
>I am dejected, but the laws of bushido dictate that I must defend my honour
>I challenge him to a duel
>he sucker punches me in the face while I'm still withdrawing my Yu-Gi-Oh! cards
>my red velvet fedora flies off my head, even though I had fastened it on with a chin strap
>wake up a couple minutes later to find a crudely drawn penis on my forehead
>get really mad and focus all my energy into going Super Saiyan
>strain so hard that a wet burp of shit splatters my underwear
>my maths teacher puts his hand on my shoulder and says, "I think it might be time to leave, Eugene"
>I nod solemnly and climb onto my segway
>"so, how was it, son?" my dad enquires as I arrive home
>"it was okay"
>"you get lucky?"
>he nudges me
>I patiently remind him that 3D women are pig disgusting and I wouldn't go near one for a million yen
>he sighs and cracks open another beer
>I return to my lair
>discover that the spaghetti in my pocket is still warm
>'K-On!' marathon until 4AM
>everything went better than expected

shut the fuck up

...

How the he'll did you miss Hitchens off your list, you named two of the other horsemen

Ever heard of observant Jews? Open a fucking book.

Atheism is a Jewish propaganda tool