Homestuck

>John begins his adventure trapped in his room
>John ends his adventure trapped in his room
Was it all for naught? He never got the freedom he deserved.

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truly he was
home
stuck

This picture is fucked up on so many levels.
>A bottle
What?

...

Kanaya should kill herself.

>Left Eye
>Right Eye

I would pay $90 just to see what the big deal is. Nearly 4x the price of puss!

Got to make sure nothing is spilled.
And that you stock up for the lean years.

But why? Is she getting people pregnant? Drinking it?

Lean years?

Kanaya has pretty good taate outside of jynx

Jade gets people pregnant, Rose is just a hidden drunk

what's wrong with jynx?

>Jade gets people pregnant
But how?

Drunk off semen?

>Lean years?

dictionary definition for lean years: "years of need, years of lack, years in which needed supplies or goods were not available."

So she is saving the excess semen for the times when she won't be able to procure it directly from the source.

But why wouldn't she get the semen from the source for those years? Why does she need the semen?

Legislation

Jade is a tyrant.

...

Kanaya is trash.

Shut up and go have babies, royal orders

With who?

Great thread so far guys.

>But why wouldn't she get the semen from the source for those years?

Because it wouldn't be available in the amount she normally requires for whatever reason; hence why it is a lean year.

>Why does she need the semen?

drink it, bath in it, swim in it, dip her clothes in it, rub her body parts in it as if it was lotion, and likely many other things that eludes my mind. She lets guys fuck both her eye socket and her remaining eye, so we can only assume that she needs it in ways we cannot begin to fathom.

But what is the reason?

This is a terrifying alt universe you've created.

Look, here's a smoking hot blonde who lets you fuck her in any hole up to and including her eye socket for at most $90. Do you need any more reason?

Yes, I do. I am frightened for her.

Doesn't matter, so long as you marry them.

And people said /hsg/ was dead. All we need is a Kanaya poster and it's just like the old days.

But I don't know who to choose. There are so many lesbians and aliens to pick from.
Kanaya poster did nothing right.

...

Her nose, eyebrows, and hair are all fucking weird.

You don't GET aliens and lesbians pregnant, you get your wife pregnant.
Son of a Lalonde, you're gonna end up in jail with that attitude, you know how Godqueen Jade "You've either bred or you're dead" Harley views interracial breeding.

Needs thicker bangs and wings.

I was being sarcastic, of course. As much as Jade likes to think otherwise, a ruler can't really enforce the culture of her land. There are simply not enough breedable women.

Jade "WHERE THE FUCK IS DAVEPETA" Harley
Jade "I like Jade, but she prefers to be alone" Harley
Jade "I hope she fucks off and dies" Harley

>Left Eye
>Right Eye
Good god.

>There are simply not enough breedable women.

You're just not looking hard enough, there are TONS of fertile human girls out there. Especially because most of them descended from the Prospit kids and are thus pretty fucking horny.

>Jade "I like Jade, but she prefers to be alone" Harley
Well, I mean, that kind of makes sense.

Show me one (1) and I'll go right after her.

It's literally the exact opposite of what she prefers. Her sole character motivation in the end was "wake up and be with people"

t. icels

R
T
F
C

>Her sole character motivation in the end was "wake up and be with people"
Well, there's a balance, of course.

But then again, Jade is kind of aloof and can't deal with people's emotions too well so it's understandable to think that to some extent.
There it is.
No, you.

High blood oppression needs to end NOW

sometipsygnostalgic is garbage

>Jade is kind of aloof

Jade has literally since the comic began wanted nothing but to meet up with her friends.
She has not, nor has she ever been, someone who wants to be alone.

Jade "She became super depressed when she lost all her friends, she obviously doesn't want company" Harley

...

Maybe "aloof" wasn't the right word but she definitely isn't a 100% people person.
>She has not, nor has she ever been, someone who wants to be alone.
She gets overwhelmed by people pretty easily though. I don't know how to describe it, user. I just think prolonged exposure might wear her down a bit.
I'm fine with you thinking this is bullshit though.

alcoholism. Because damaged goods are hot, somehow?

Why didn't she say "beer" then? And why is there a bottle full of semen?

obviously she likes semen as much as other people like alcohol.

>I just think prolonged exposure might wear her down a bit.
The word you're looking for is "make her happy"
Jade was willing to live with Karkat of all people, that's how much of a desperate for affection and companionship slut is.
For god sake's man, she's part dog.

Jade "She gets too overwhelmed by people and this is why she needs to fuck off from Dave" Harley

What?

Looks like a douche bottle to me, but I'm guessing the artist doesn't know how to draw a winebottle.

Shhhh. They're sleeping.

Jade "The next time Dave so much as acknowledges her I am going to mail my severed ear to Hussie out of sheer fury" Harley

>The word you're looking for is "make her happy"
Maybe, a little bit of both but, still, I think she'd want some alone time now and again. I think her enthusiasm would wear off after a while since it's pretty reactionary.
And didn't she kind of like Karkat?
Now don't twist my words around, user.

Damn, this is a surprisingly hot Gif. Can't believe Kanaya got cucked by a bottle of all things too.

>I think she'd want some alone time now and again.

She's the only one willing to hang out with John. She is the exact opposite of someone who wants to be alone. She was alone for more than half her life. It's pretty evident she doesn't want that ever again.

...

>She's the only one willing to hang out with John.
And? Again, you're not really acknowledging my point, user. Yes, she loves her friends and yes, she has a ton of enthusiasm about meeting them but she gets overwhelmed emotionally fairly easily. A break now and then isn't being a hermit, it's just being (closer) to well-adjusted.

Remember that time everyone took a vacation but forgot to invite Jade, and when they came back she had gone crazy and murdered a guy

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For fuck's sake, Hiroshima. If you're going to replace infrastructure with your buddy's gear, make sure your buddy knows what the fuck they're doing.

Good thing it was only Karkat.

Literally everything in the comic indicates the exact opposite of what you say.
You're trying to apply this stupid headcanon to the character it's the most inappropriate for. It's like gay John.

WAKE UP, SLUTS

Say something nice to them! Quick!
Or else!

>Literally everything in the comic indicates the exact opposite of what you say.
Except for the parts where Jade gets pissed off at people for talking about their problems and shit?

It's not a headcanon. It's a part of her character. I'm acknowledging what you're saying but I'm also adding onto it.
>gay John
Oh, come on.

...

they must smell very nice

You two make a tempestuous couple. Congratulations, I hope you antagonize each other to new heights.

>she gets overwhelmed emotionally fairly easily
>fairly easily
The time she actually lost it emotionally was after being mindraped by eldritch abomations, harassed by Karkat, and had a whole bunch of other shit happen to her that destroyed her entire world.
That's not "getting overwhelmed emotionally fairly easily".

>Jade gets pissed off at people for talking about their problems and shit?

You mean the times she did it to Karkat, Jadesprite, and when grimbark?
That's not really a thing. Even fucking dream Jade, the retard, humored and supported Tavros. She also happily listened to Kanaya's problems, Dave's problems, tried to help Rose emotionally, etc, etc.

She also got pissy at Eridan for trying to give her a gun. I'm not talking about "losing it", I'm just talking about getting overwhelmed. There's a pretty big difference.

You're really using someone not putting up with Eridan as grounds for them being unable to deal with people's shit? Really? Fucking really?

Does Karkat even have fans?

>they are all Karezi or Davekat shippers

Nobody likes Eridan, and he's a flirtatious creep who gives her the gun in some misplaced sense of rivalry. Her getting mad at him is actually reasonable.

>Even fucking dream Jade, the retard, humored and supported Tavros
But Dream Jade isn't really the pissy version of Jade.
>happily listened to Kanaya's problems, Dave's problems, tried to help Rose emotionally,
I remember her being pretty testy and impatient with those. Or it's just been a while. I remember that being one of her definitive flaws. What were her flaws then?
He literally just tried to give her a gun.

it worked! good night.

But she threw the insanely OP gun out the window. That just seems like overkill.

>He literally just tried to give her a gun.
No, no he didn't.

mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=005075
Reread the damn conversation. He gives her the gun because he wants her to go after Rose and rants and rambles about some shady shit.
And she's definitely not testy or impatient with any of those three people.

:^)

This honestly. Eridan's character trait is that he's insufferable.

>OP
Did she even ever fight anything besides Jack?

SLUTSDON'TSLEEPSLUTSDON'TSLEEPSLUTSDON'TSLEEPSLUTSDON'TSLEEP

I still think throwing the gun away was a bit much. Then I must be completely misremembering Jade somehow. What were her flaws?
It still seems kind of stupidly wasteful. Wasn't Bec Noir a massive threat by then?

...

That still doesn't work right.

>I remember her being pretty testy and impatient with those.

Nope. When Kanaya talks about her issues, she supports it and says she'll make a great bug-raising-thing. When talking to Dave about his death/bro's death she tries to console him, and with Rose she tries to comfort her and talk her out of fighting Noir.

literally everybody wins

THE ADVENTURES OF NIGGER AFRO DAVE, PINK FAT HOBBIT KARKAT AND NEW CHARACTER: GORILLA MAN JADE

Except Karkat doesn't feel it.

and...?

Her flaws were the exact opposite of being impatient. Like the other prospit she's got a temper issue but approaches it differently. She bottles it up inside rather than dealing with it outright. Jade is years of pent up rage.

>with Rose she tries to comfort her and talk her out of fighting Noir.
Oh, God, I do not remember this at all.
I thought she was just impatient when it came with others' shit. Not exactly rude but just disinterested and shit. I literally have brain damage, sorry, user.

What was the big deal about this shit anyway? the first few chapters just seem like some shitty sims fanfic or something.

>Not exactly rude but just disinterested and shit.

Exact opposite. Jade was always the enthusiastic happy one.
Also remember she has trouble with the trolls because they literally harassed her for years.

>Like the other prospit she's got a temper issue
Jake doesn't have one.