New Avengers Vol 2 Storytime (Part 2)

Welcome back Anons! Last time, we saw the start of a new "New Avengers" team. This time, we see how long before disaster strikes.

This is going to be a quick thread tonight. If it's still up tomorrow when I'm done with my errands, I'll do another arc.

Remember when Damage Control was a thing?

Your guess is as good as mine Anons, because I haven't a glue what Bendis is referencing her, outside of yet another "Luke Cage is hot" joke.

...

So, which one of these guys has pulled off Doom's mask and lived to tell the tale? Best guess is Ben, just due to the sheer amount of times he's met Doom.

I dunno Strange, you could be called worse things than "The Magic Avenger".

I love the look on her face in the last panel, as if it only just clicked in her head that he REALLY wouldn't like that bit of news.

To be fair Peter, it was IRON MAN who vouched for Wolverine. Captain America just kept him along once he proved he could be on his best behavior.

>"I understand you have personal issues with him."

Understatement of the damn century.

Remember when the Avengers used to get paid?

...

At least Bendis is pointing out that his outrage of getting paid to do superherois flies against his past characterization.

And this is how, despite finally having a well paying job on the side, Spider-Man continues to keep up the whole "relocatable poor guy" aspect of his character.

Can YOU name everyone on this list, Anons? I bet if you asked Bendis today, he couldn't.

>"Well, Doreen, I must say, you are by far the most interesting candidate..."

Given that you used the word "interesting", I'd say the talking tree would be higher up on that list than Squirrel Girl.

>this whole Wolverine and Squirrel Girl scene

Bendis never actually explicitly STATES what happened between these two, but for the life of me, I can't imagine why he even sets up this awkwardness.

I think Unbeatable Squirrel Girl retconned in the letters page that he stole a taxi from her or something stupid like that.

Bendis continues to write Wong's personality as "surley and sarcastic" with nothing else going for him.

Yeah, probably going to just call it with this issue, and do the actual arc sometime tomorrow.

Seriously, Bendis writes a LOT of scenes with people freaking out over Luke Cage.

I do enjoy that they at least gave Luke a yellow shirt like in the old days.

This was the moment Squirrel Girl became too popular for her own good

>"i don't think we've ever been on a real, proper date."

What are the odds that, if I looked back in The Pulse, I could find a scene of them on a date?

It could've been worse. She could've actually been an Avenger, as opposed to just their nanny.

Fucking hell, look at all those text bubbles.

>"I should life a live by example. I should inspire her by being who I am."

Cut to five years later, Jessica's getting out of prison and nobody, including the father of her child, knows where she left her damn kid.

Real inspirational.

...

From left to right
>Top Row
Hellcat, Mantis, D-Man, Firebird, Machine man, Sersi, Trapster, Echo, US Archer
>Second Row
Molly Hayes, Julia Carpenter, Ultra Girl, Groot, D-Man, Beverly Switzler, Deadpool, Sepulchre, Stature,
>Bottom Row
D-Man, She-Hulk, US Archer, Nightwing, Sepulchre, Devlor, Tigra, Squirrel Girl

And suddenly, Carol's here, for no adequately explained reason.

I won't lie this was one of my favorite moments in this run. Just the concept of Doreen and Logans crazy high school adventures makes me happy, if I ever get the chance to do a Wolverine mini it'll be about how these two met in like a alternate universe Japan and fought like Shredder or something.

Bendis always has these types of problems with large casts. He has a few decent jokes but never does anything else with half the cast.

Why is the black lady in the third panel dressed like Marty McFly?

>Luke Cage vs Doom
>A rematch 40 years in the making

Close, user. It's actually NightHAWK, not NightWING. Speaking of, did classic Nighthawk ever cameo in the Nighthawk series?

Right. Shit.

I STILL haven't left the 70's in my Doctor Strange reading, but I have no idea where Bendis would even get that interpretation of Wong.

>"I don' t suppose telling you you're under arrest would do any good."

Please tell me you're all thinking what I'm thinking.

...

Of course Bendis writes Jessica Jones fucking up Doctor Doom.

Well she did marry the greatest of Doom fucker uppers.

Wait, you've known Luke for HOW long, and he's never told you about the time he fucked up Doctor Doom for $200? If I was Luke, I would never stop telling that story!

How are there people in the Marvel Universe who don't know what a Doombot is?!

That was why I always thought Luke was the guy giving the Doom story last issue.

Once again, Ben Grimm continues to be basically the best thing about this roster.

Who in the MU hasn't fought a Doombot at this point?

>"Next issue: The biggest secret in the entire world!"

And you'll have to wait see what that is next time, because for now, I have to go to sleep. See you tomorrow, when we see if that secret is anything worth mentioning.

Arresting people is her second favorite thing to do, right after murdering aliens.

I'm falling asleep. Can't stay up for this. Will read tomorrow.

Reading bump

>Machine Man
Ah my favorite hero.

>The point of all this was that we do this on out own
WHY?

>Someone with a different point of view than yours
I'm gonna have to call bullshit on all this.
Bendis never really got around to explaining what this "different point of view" was. We know she was fired from SHIELD because she disagreed with Nick Fury about something that was never made clear. The only other thing we know about her is that she willingly worked for Norman Osborn and thought he was going to make America great again, then stood by as he filled the Avengers with mass murderers and did a LOT of illegal shit. So is her different point of view fascism?
I don't care if she has a "different point of view" what she did was illegall and morally wrong. Give her a second chance if you want, but do NOT put her on the Avengers.

>But supposedly, if I heard correctly, he's losing his mind
You didn't hear correctly. Doctor Doom didn't "lose his mind", at least not in the sense of going crazy. What happened was that the Intelligencia gave him brain damage after connecting him to a machine designed to absorb intelligence, causing him to lose most of his intellect, but his behaviour didn't change. He sure as fuck wasn't sending random Doombots to attack Luke Cage for no reason, seriously what was up with that?

>Our Fantastic Four run-ins with him lately have been EXTRA-crazy
No they haven't.

>He dabbled in dark mystic arts. I've warned him...it would take its toll on any man
Like I said, that's not what happened. He lost his intellect to brain damage caused by a machine, his "dabbling" in dark magic had nothing to do with it.

There was an issue where classic Nighthawk fought black Nighthawk in Supreme. He'd figured out his secret identity and tracked him down

black Nighthawk killed him and it turned out to have been a Skrull, tying into the Myriad plot of the book.

she is now....

Why does Bendis hate D-Man so much? He shits on him even more than Wanda.

Remember how Danny is too poor to cover a quarter million dollars now?

Bendis probably doesn't!

How run down WAS the Gem if this is like the first time smashing the crap out of things has hit him this hard?

Yeah, like "Dr Druid" or "Dr Droom" or "Dr Bong"

Or heck, Mr. Starneg.

To be fair, he says his INSURANCE will cover it, not that he himself will pay for it.

They're still a thing, they got an anthology story in a Civil War II tie-in where they hired Trull the Unhuman (an alien whose conciousness is inside a steam shovel) to be their spokesperson.

>are able to perceive both him and myself as more complicated individuals than just garbage
She's STILL tryint to defend Osborn? I literally can't think of a single good deed he did during the entirety of Dark Reign. Every "heroic" act was just for PR purposes, he didn't actually care about people, otherwise he would have kicked out Bullseye after he made a giant robot fall on a bus full of civilians. He wasn't even "tough on crime", all he did was give criminals more power an get out of jail free cards for no fucking reason. He objectively made everything worse.
Bendis clearly wanted Osborn to be seen as a complex figure that had a "point" and saw himself as the good guy, but utterly failed at actually giving him any defendable stances or actions.
And Victoria Hand stood by during all that, she deserves all the hate Spider-Man has for her and more.

Lemme spoil that for you, NOBODY remembers.

Ms Marvel, she was on Tony's team when he went in.

Doesn't Norman already fucking know who Peter is by now?

He doesn't, Dr. Strange's spell made everyone forget except for Peter, MJ and Kaine.

Figures, Bendis only cares about his own continuity.

It's best girl.
Spiderman was on both Avengers teams at this time so couldn't they pay him through the other one?
What is Jessica doing in that last panel?
Luke just happens to decide to call it a Doombot, he didn't know that's what it was called this was just a lucky guess.
Dark Reign was all over the place with what Osborn was doing, his Avengers were not meant to be outside unsupervised and yet at least two of them had their own comic.
That said Hand should have sided with the President during Siege, you don't get to pull the "I'm a patriot" card when the president needs to send the airforce to get you to not start a war with gods.

>Luke Cage: Hero Not For Hire.

Bendis really does a poor job of making this Luke Cage seem like old Luke Cage.

Why has Wolverine not stopped shoving food into his mouth this entire issue?

There's a reason why people called Jessica Jones his self insert, and it has a lot to do with other things getting inserted.

I guess they met off panel cleaning up one of Luke's many, many messes in his Hero for Hire days.

>I have no idea where Bendis would even get that interpretation of Wong.

Because to Bendis, a man who lives with another man is too gay to be anything but a sassy, put upon housewife.

One More Day, user.

bump

Yeah, Bendis seems to want Osborn to have a point about all this "superheroes are the cause of everything" theme of his, which is ignoring the fact that he's a literal supervillain.

Also, while he was in charge he gave other supervillains a whole bunch of power. How exactly was letting The Hood and all his goons do pretty much whatever they want and put them in The Initiative good for anyone? Or putting Doom back in charge of Latveria? Or resurrecting the Red Skull? Or allying with Loki? Or helping out Hydra?

>Spiderman was on both Avengers teams at this time so couldn't they pay him through the other one?
I don't think Spider-Man would want Maria Hill to know his secret identity either.

In Bendis' Marvel Universe, nobody knows anything. I don't understand Bendis' obsession with making characters ignorant even in situations where nobody us giving any exposition.

Because he's a homeless man?