Watching movie with family

>watching movie with family
>sex scene comes on

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>having sex with family
>movie comes on

what are you some incestuous creep? what's the big deal?

>Having sex with family
>Movie comes on

>watching video with family
>pull up internet on the TV
>search history comes on

>watching movie with family
>black guy does full frontal
>mom mouths the word "wow"

Cuck

>Your mom starts grabbing your boner
Am i the only one?

>having sex with movie
>family comes in

>True story
>Watching late night comedy with younger brother and sister
>We are raised hardcore religious
>Comedy movie, mentions the word dildo
>Sister asks whats a dildo
>Shes 23
>I look at my brother and he looks at me
>We busy out laughing
>Those were good memories.....

i want to fuck your sister

>watching Twin Peaks with me mum
>Cooper and Diane sex scenes comes on

She got married and has a kid

Her religious autism has kicked in 100 times worse, she married a religious nut and they're living a good life but for me I can't believe they keep thinking I'm going to hell and will die

>nigga
>I'm on Sup Forums everyday
>I'm already in hell

>having sex
fuck you OP

>have family
>sex
>mobi

> instantly go to toilet
> or proceed to yawn profusely pretending to be bored

>close your eyes son! haha

>watching movie with normie family
>it's a guy turns his life around and gets the girl in the end

>sex scene comes on
>get up to get some snacks
>user are you okay? you do this every time
>y-you too

>I know this feel

>AND YOUR OTHER FREN :3

>browsing Sup Forums with family
>cunny comes on

I laughed, you dumb crazy pepe man

how many movies with adult scenes do you watch bruv ? You are on Sup Forums at this point you should know most of the movies that are on the telly

fren!

>play GTA in living room
>hot chick on loading screen comes on
>mom: "Is that your gf user?"

I experienced this awkward moment until I was around 14 and then I started cheering comically. Cheer for the lovers and make awkwardness funny.

>lunch with relatives
>aunt and uncle are talking about how my cousins never come to family gatherings anymore because they're so busy with their girlfriends
>conversation turns to me
>we talk about how I could kill myself if I ever went blind

How did you decide?

> tfw family dinner
> having same discussion
> try to change the topic how I save lots of money by not having a gf
> they tell me I never had a job so what money do I save
> Jokingly tell them I could always sell a kidney for 50k on black market
> they act truly horrified
> later on each of the proceeds to approach me to suss me out for any mental problems
> mom starts leaving pamphlets to talk to psychiatrists
> constantly overhearing family members discussing my "mental troubles"
> tfw I was just making a dumb joke trying to be a bit edgy
fucking normies are such gossip queens

Really selling body parts should be legal

then you wouldn't have to go to mexico to sell your spares

lol idk why this made me lol

every movie made in the past 27 years has at least one sex scene. but worse, we watch game of thrones together.

Man where do I find the deleted Frozen sex scene

>watching autobiography
>all the supporting characters have wive and girlfriends
>know the protagonist is still a virgin who lives at home
>nobody ever mentions it out of second hand embarrassment

>normies are such gossip queens
Yeah. Yeah they are. You have to be careful around them. I'm in a constant battle to not behave in public or private the way I communicate on Sup Forums.

>family gathering
>everyone talking about their careers and when the baby is due
>attention on me
>I try to explain how I got an item in an MMO that its really hard to get
>younger bro feels bad for me
>wow that sounds cool, can I see it?
>I get excited, maybe he will like the MMO and want to play with me since its online he can play from his home
>yeah! lets go! I'll show you
>his son starts pulling on his arm and saying hes hungry
>oh im sorry maybe another time, I have to feed my son
>pats my shoulder and gives me that, I wonder when you will kick the stool look

>large holiday dinner with extended family
>parents have invited unrelated normalfag girl they know and her boyfriend for some reason
>they're only a year or two older than me, boyfriend is in post-graduate film school or something
>dad is making a heroic effort to draw me into a conversation with them
>literally does the "my son is a bit of a film buff himself" meme
>try to downplay it, say I just like watching movies but I wouldn't consider myself very knowledgeable
>dad says "well from my point of view I think you have some very astute opinions on film"
>I say "from my point of view the Jedi are evil" and walk away

True story. My dad is a big Star Wars fan so I know he got the joke, but I think the couple were pretty puzzled by the whole thing.

...

My first viewing of Wild Things was with my dad when my mom was out bowling.

>new season of game of thrones is out
>ask older sister if she wants to watch the first episode of the new season
>"nah i dont really like the show that much"
>later find out she watched it with a bunch of her friends
>she admits she just didn't want to watch it with me because of all the sex and nudity

was she "bowling" with Tyrone and Jamal?

> :)

>family gathering
>someone asks me why I don't have a gf
>try to avoid the subject and say I'm not interested
>end up being forced to actually explain why because they are starting to think I'm gay
>spend 5 minutes explaining how I'm cool with couples and people who want a gf but that I'm bot because I'm a self-centered lazy cunt, I would make my gf sad, etc, etc
>end up admitting that I don't have any plans of ever starting a family
>my family wastes the next 2 hours trying to make me change my mind and treating me as if I have some mental problem
Should have lied and said I was gay.

...

Kind of cute

you wouldn't have been lying user

>son are you gay
>no
>come on... it's ... it's ok... I won't feel any different about you...

I hate this crap.

I doubt it. She met Chuck Berry once and called him a nigger after he accused her friend of stealing his guitar.

Based

Watching Bruce Lee's Enter the Dragon with my mom. The scene where the blonde has massage sex with the guy comes on. My mother tells me to get out.

How am I supposed to interpret this, Sup Forums?

>nigga
I don't want to fuck your sister anymore. Actually I lied because I'm not the person you were replying to anyway

>daughter wants to meet my family last year
>take her to a holiday dinner
>dad's sitting in the living room watching Redline
>fuck yeah I love Redline
>as I'm sitting there with my teenage daughter I remember all the anime titty scenes

just make sure they catch you fapping to women once and awhile, worked to get them off my back

She wants to have sex with you.

It does save time

How can someone be this autistic?

She wants the cock, are you man enough to give it to her?

What the fuck kind of family do you have? That's an extremely tame joke. Did you fuck up and not say it in a joking enough tone?

>autistic
Or just making the most out of an awkward situation.

>they all look at you as he's doing it

>playing apples to apples with family as a kid
>"down and dirty" card gets pulled
>the description makes no reference to the sexual connotations of the phrase, so I'm not thinking about it
>put down "girl scouts" thinking the idea of girls scouts being pushy and violent is funny
>everyone is briefly disgusted when it gets read out
>"who put in that one?"
>just stay silent

fucking kek'd

they knew it was you

You make it 10000000% more awkward by doing this

Watching horror movie
fully nude chick goes for a swim
and her wet titties are all wet and splashy
>Hurry up and die!

That's not what would happen at all. Instead of it being awkward for me, I "put" the awkwardness on them. You see?

what is wrong with us? why do autists like us even exist if we can't get gf's?

to entertain each other

There have to be girl autists right? Where are they and how do we find them?

they don't want anything to do with you
there's a different level of autism with girls

they're all on tumblr

>watching european movie with family
>Scene that is borderline child porn and would be illegal out of context

>little brother is noticeably squirming and covering his lap during it

If I could find one without gnarly piercings, tattoos or Nickelodeon colored hair I'd eat her ass for hours. That's something I've always wanted to do to a girl.

>Sex scene happens
>Your family start making fun of you for being a Virgin

This is actually one of the reasons I don't watch Game of Thrones.
When it first became popular, I thought it would be a thing that I could watch with my dad and maybe my mother to bond over (I have my own place, but I still try to do stuff with them often), but my family is Christian with strong conservative values and the amount of sex/dicks/boobs/graphic violence put me off watching it with them (like I've never had a GF so sitting through a gay sex scene with my dad would be REALLY uncomfortable).

as an example of what my mother (a lovely lady) is like:
>take 13 year old brother to go see new spider-man
>my mother talks with some other lady that went to see it with her kids
>mother confronts me about the 'Porn' joke ned makes near the end of the film
>have to downplay this shitty joke, telling her is didn't mean anything and it was just a stupid joke

I once went with my father to see Oblivion, and that part where the woman swims naked was SUPER awkward and I was around 16 at the time. I couldn't really be bothered to start watching GoT by myself, and all my friends have already seen it.

least you're not a whore

youtube.com/watch?v=SmsRN78qMxM

>I once went with my father to see Oblivion
You think that's bad? both my parents and I went to see 40 Year Old VirginI didn't know it'd be what it actually was

When it gets this bad you know what to do...

whatever i once gave my father some erotica to read that i particularly enjoyed

he never really talked about it. but he read it.

stopp fucking STOP

Test

>Watching sex with family
>Movie scene comes on

Yeah, i know.

hahahahahahahah

that's pretty bad

One time I really wanted to show some of younger friends 'Alien' because they had never seen it before, and I forgot about that part where Ash is choking Ripley and there's some softcore porno cutouts on the wall behind them.
I had to distract them during that scene by making a big fuss over drinks and popcorn or something.

...

bugs.. lay on the carrots

i love carrots

>watching rape torture scene
>get boner

Why? How does someone do something like that without stopping themselves? How old were you?

bugs... lay off the carrots

I really have no idea. But I was 19 and I hadn't gotten laid yet but I was about to. But I can't see the future.

I have a contentious relationship with my sexuality.

>I was 19
>gave my father some erotica to read that i particularly enjoyed
jesus christ

...

When i was in elementary school i recommended Girl with the Dragon Tattoo to my teacher and a couple of weeks later I saw her reading it. Those books were basically 50 shades in an action/mystery framework.

>watching taken
>alternating between thinking that what these guys are doing is disgusting and wrong, and thinking thats its kinda kinky

I was kinda hoping at the end Liam would find the buyer balls deep in his daughter before blowing the buyers brains out, that would fulfil both of my fantasies at once

You know you can basically do what those guys were doing. You can't buy to own, but you can lease for an hour.

it's worth.

was she hot?

come on dude don't spare the details