New Avengers Vol 2 Storytime (Part 3)

Welcome back Anons! Last time, Doctor Strange officially joined the Avengers, Squirrel Girl was hired as the Cage's nanny, and Doctor Doom attacked New York again.
This time? Well, we start with Deodato.

Oh right, and Wong joined as their Jarvis.

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Wait, do they just assume every white guy with an eye patch is Nick Fury?

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Surprising lack of dialogue here, for a Bendis comic.

>"You can't shoot and drive, it never works!"

Unless you're going to run him over, it's gotta be better than nothing.

>"Mien gott!"

Well, that's one way to establish that they're German, and probably Nazis, since it's a Nick Fury story.

>"I find you and your dead Nazi pal there guilty of crimes against humanity and God."

Wow, I was joking, they really ARE Nazis.

...

Oh right, this is an Avengers book, isn't it?

Credit where it's due? Luke probably wouldn't know who Superia is, off the top of his head.

>this whole debate

Superia's probably an escaped criminal, if not a known terrorist, you can probably bust them for her, right?

Man, Ben's the best.

I forget. do we have scenes of Luke driving a car before this? I vaguely remember joking about Danny not having a license before, I just forget the set-up.

>Luke Cage lifts a truck over his shoulders because he can't find the keys

To my knowledge, this is basically Luke's greatest feat of strength.

>suddenly a dragon
>"I'm so out of here!"

Smart man.

Well, that sucks.

Like Gwen all over again, huh Peter?

So, can you tell what the Secret is?

All right Anons, can you name EVERYONE on this cover?

...

Well, that didn't take long.

I'm not going to lie, if they didn't make the "He heals?" joke... I would have.

Sorry Ben, you're not with the quippy half of the New Avengers.

And suddenly, Carol Danvers flying through a brick damn wall.

>she didn't know the woman with SUPER in her name has superpowers

I don't know to blame this on Bendis being a hack, or Carol being an idiot. Maybe both.

I swear, they'll explain how this is relevant eventually.

While I saw this coming, I was hoping he'd pull a gun instead.
Also, credit where it's due they show EXACTLY where she's hiding that big fucking knife in the top panel.

I don't know if I'm a casual for not knowing who this guy is, or if he's the most obsure of everyone in this crew.

We never see her set her down, so I'm assuming Peter just dropped her once his Spider-Sense went off, hard enough for an audible thud.

Anybody here? Anybody drinking or getting ready to blow the brain out?

>"I'm smarter than all of you put together!"

Bendis doesn't know how to write characters who are known for their intelligence.

Oh thank god, SOMEONE is here. I thought I was going to have to do this entire arc alone.

Thanks, OP.

Well, I'm Canadian, so I'm more worried than panicking.

>smashing a man's head into the ground hard enough to break concrete

Peter, I know you're pissed, but that guy may need a doctor now too.

>Kraven and Namora

Yeah, assuming that guy on the right is Ulysses Bloodstone, Fortune really is the most obscure character in this roster.

Wait, Kraven's that old? I know he was a grown man in the 60's when he first showed up, but sliding timescale and all.

Honestly, I'd read a book that was just Kraven and Sabertooth just engaging in Spy vs. Spy esque antics with each other.

>Luke casually carried the truck seven blocks

If anybody knows one of his feats that tops that, lemme know.

Jag, really? Not the kind of insult I'd expect from Luke.

Okay, so I don't know the Silver Sable's DAD, but I know about the less famous Bloodstone.

Hey. Coming in late.

So, how bout that American Democracy? It had a good run. Hope everyone enjoyed having to vote for the last time.

Is it wrong that I'm laughing at Sabertooth in that tiny suit?

You're a fucking SUPERVILLAIN, lady. You don't get to complain about fair play in this game, unless you're the Rogues.

BONK seems like it's underselling it somewhat.

Chaykin's 00s art style is not amenable to graffiti.

Well... at least she does more than just whine.

Apparently enough Americans ARE worrying that they crashed your immigration site.

And here I was assuming they were agents of the Castro government.

Bobbi doesn't have a secret identity, right? I mean, she's a known SHIELD agent. Just give her her real name, so they don't have to make this whole "that's not a name!" bit.

This is a cringetastic page. Like, nothing about it feels good.

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Nice to see Black Man's wife join the team as White Woman.

Look at it this way, user. The president doesn't have nearly as much power as people think he does.

That IS a lot of male minions for Superia though.

I swear, this better not end with a retcon that the modern day Avengers are somehow a continuation of these guys, when the name was literally something Janet kinda just threw out there.

Man, Carol's had some better days, huh?

They give her name to the paramedic in so it's just Bendis doing what he does.

That's true, but SCOTUS is likely conservative for the near-mid future.

Carol, a few years ago, Mystique could've made the same thing about you.

>Victoria Hand led them to a HAMMER base to raid

You know, if anyone else but Spider-Man said this, it may have seemed reasonable.

Man, nice Deodato art there with the truck part not sagging or anything.

>She's the face of your fail.
Woof.

I'm waiting for the page where they also have the criminal being wheeled in too, and Peter's just awkwardly looking away.

Oh god, I hope this was Sabertooth's plan, because that's kind of hilarious.

Okay Wolverine just killed that guy for basically working security at a place the Avengers were staking out in case they started doing something illegal.

Eh, I would've prefered if someone else just stole the truck while the driver was looking over Sabertooth.

I'll never understand the resistance to giving Luke a costume. At the very least, give him a color-coded one, so he's recognizable.

>so it's just Bendis doing what he does.

Forgetting what he wrote himself, or forgetting this is a comic book universe?

That they stole Jimmy Woo's idea for banding together super powered types in the style of the Invaders/All Winners Squad?

All of these flashbacks are, partially because we don't get told why we're being told until the end of the arc. Until then, it's just Nick Fury and some random guys Bendis drew out of a hat.

She's also had much worse, to be fair.

My Captain America knowledge is a bit off, so I may be wrong about this.
Captain America went into the ice near the end of WW2, and the original Red Skull somehow went in suspended animation before that.

There was ALSO a "fake" Red Skull who showed up during the Red Scare, allying with the Russians while Cap all but literally went into battle yelling "Better dead than red!"

What ever happened to THAT Red Skull?

How the hell did... you know what, don't care, this is pretty awesome.

I think he died.

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention it last time, but Clint is Hawkeye again, and not Ronin.

He's pretty minor.
Like, Bloodstone minor.

He was part of Bobbi's private spy organization, though, if you get around to Hawkeye and Mockingbird.

Pretty big coincidence that Wasp happened to come up with the same name as a secret team from 1959...

>"Only Wolverine will think that."

Does Steve really not remember that Osborn has personally been responsible for most of the horrible shit that's happened in Peter's life?

I can only assume that was SUPPOSED to be "failure", and the person who Marvel pays to edit Marvel's books didn't care.

I think we're supposed to assume these are all HAMMER agents. Either way, you can't really get bad at Wolverine killing people, that's kind of his thing. At best, it's the Avenger's fault for not realizing that he's gonna Snikt all of the Bubs.

Most definetly. This debate would work if they were just HAMMER agents and they didn't know that Superia is with them until later.
And btw, what the fuck is Superia doing with HAMMER? Her whole thing was being a radical feminist.

Putting people through walls or concrete is drastically undersold in most comic books.

Remember, this is the late 50's. If Nick Fury is anything like the Nick Fury we know, he knows this isn't Steve Rogers.

Normally I don't post these pages, but I love the irony of this next issue title, given the shit that Captain Hydra ended up causing.

It's pretty weird for a nameless henchman to actually do something like this. You would have thought that Superia would have been the one to do it.

Unless Obama literally declares Marshall Law and sit in White House until 2020. That wouldn't be democratic but he'd get a hell yeah from a lot of people. And then Kanye can become the president.

I guess you can pretend Janet heard about it at some point, and thought it was a cool name.

>Kraven and Namora

God, what a shit paring. Bendis should be non-canon.

Looks like Clint's going full Ronin again.

He took Africa herbs that extended his life to the point where him being a big game hunter isn't a bizarre anachronism.

>And btw, what the fuck is Superia doing with HAMMER? Her whole thing was being a radical feminist.

I wouldn't be surprised if they're trying to dial back that aspect of her character, like how Val isn't like that, outside of jokes.

Yeah, Kraven is supposed to have been born in Tsarist Russia. He uses weird magic herbs to stay young, so does his cousin the Chameleon.

I guess they're trying to sell it as a senseless tragedy rather than something intentional, but yeah.

I'm telling you, Names out of a hat.

I know they make him able to fight Spider-Man, but they increase his age too? I thought the big game hunter thing was just him being a nutter.

>And then Kanye can become the president.

Look, just because people think Trump is the worst choice for president doesn't mean you have to respond with "Challenge accepted!"

I'm concerned too. However, if we survived 8 Bish years, we can probably survive 4 Trump years. We just have to hope that his own party tries to keep him in line before the mid-terms.

>Danny and Wolverine in costume
>Police outright says he knows who Doctor Strange is

Luke, maybe if you wore more yellow, people wouldn't have this problem, just saying.