/got/ general: What Renly and Loars should look like

Old:

No roids in Westeros except for The Mountain.

Azor Petyr

STUPID BOY

BOW YA SHITS

/coddbros/

aagghhh...

>every gay guy in westeros is a twink prison boy pussi.

...

Gayest fucking edition in history.

Shame!

GODS I WAS TALL THEN

ONE JOB, STUPID BOY

...

YOU GO GIRL!

*snaps

tell me again why people from westeros don't seek refuge in essos ? this seems to be the best idea to escape from the night king

Embarassing

>tell me again why people from westeros don't seek refuge in essos ? this seems to be the best idea to escape from the night king

Cause the writers say so.

Who are the horribly miscast people? Has to be.

>Catelyn
>Dany
>Renly
>probably Jon
>Cersei

In that order.

Was Renly a top or bottom?

Why did Orson Lannister smash the bugs?

>inb4 dank memes

Bottom to Loras obviously

>Who are the horribly miscast people

Dany
Jon
Renly
Loras
Rhaegar

He doesn't exist. I never got why they made him up for that scene.

Jonerys cucks are comming Ned

1. Most of them don't even know about the danger

2. They'd be homeless and Essos and the Essosi neckbeards will probably start saying that the white walkers is just an Iron Bank conspiracy to flood Essos with Westrosi.

/ourqueen/

It's canon if it's in the show. ;)

Even if not Cersei, Catelyn is a must on any miscasting list. She's supposed to be top tier MILF, not granny tier.

Modern day Isaac Hempstead Wright

Reminder Euron and Varys are the same person.

>Varys often jokes about being a merfolk and one of the founding members of House Greyjoy took a mermaid for a wife
>Varys is a eunuch while Euron often praises himself for his large cock. Theon also lost his dick but is also pretty good at disguising himself to the point his own family don't even recognize him
>Vary's Little Birds grow up and become sailors on Euron's boat. Don't see many tongueless people walking around Westeros do you?
>Varys is largely missing for AFFC because Euron has just returned home to the Iron Islands and the Kingsmoot happened

All hail the /OneTrueKing/ Lads

>It's canon if it's in the show. ;)

And so is this!

>Rhaegar
>Dany
>Cat
>Jon
>Arya
>Bran
>Marge's floppy tits
>Daario v.2

...

essos has a similar thing with monsters and shit coming in from the east and have their own version of the wall to protect them. Azor Ahai was from essos and killed the night king a million years ago or whatever.

Margaery, Sansa, Ramsay, Talisa

They're poor as fuck peasants who couldn't even find the nearest coastline if you threw a fish at them

the first time I watched this I had to pause it because my mind kept saying that it was a parody of game of thrones and not the real thing

Forgot Lyanna. Bitch is fucking ugly but she resembles Arya so I guess that's why they picked her.

Why didn't Dany unite Essos under her rule?

except Stannis was the one who had to be brought back during the battle of blackwater because he went full autistic against some lannister soldiers

because of whatever the five forts are supposed to contain

>essos has a similar thing with monsters and shit coming in from the east and have their own version of the wall to protect them.

Why do we never see the legit interesting stuff in Essos? I wonder if Greyscale is their version of becoming a wight. If so then I'm really fucking curious what the equivalents to the Others look like in Essos.

OI POD, LET' S GO OUT AND GRAB A DRINK BEFORE LE.. OH SHITE HERE SHE COMES M8

Would've he won with a helmet?

...

>The white walkers are automated living weapons set on destroying mankind
>Jon Snow is a jesus allegory
>Game of Thrones is a complex and deep story

I add Joffrey. I love Jack Gleeson's portrayal, but he's described as looking like a young Jaime and that's one of the reasons why Cersei favors him.

TOO BIG

>but he's described as looking like a young Jaime and that's one of the reasons why Cersei favors him.

Do you think Cersei would've fucked Joffrey had he not died to hold more influence over him and do what she and House Lannister wants rather than the Tyrells?

This is why I shan't ever hook up with a girl from work

Spiteful petty cunts, the lot of them

NO TIME

Joffrey wasn't influenced by anyone but Tywin and Margaery. Cersei had 0 hold on him and he seemed like he was asexual anyway.

because Essosi are racist

The boar's great tusks, they boded ill,
for good King Robert's health.
And the beast was every bit as fat,
as Robert was himself.
But our brave King cried, 'Do your worst,
I'll have your ugly head,'
You're nowhere near as murderous as
the lion in my bed."
King Robert lost his battle,
and he failed his final test,
The lion ripped his balls off,
And the boar did all the rest.

>stannis
>on the front lines
what did he mean by this

How come Robb wasn't already betrothed when the series started? he was like 16

CAREFUL

>five forts
nice thanks for the info user every time i'm surprised of how big is the asoiaf universe

NOT
MY
QUEEN

Lord Paramounts and their direct heir can marry for love. Tywin did it. Bigger question is why weren't Rickon, Bran and Arya.

I feel like this png could be memed into some clever situations

What's in the shadow lands?

GODS THIS IS SHITPOSTING! I HAVE HALF THE MIND TO LEAVE THE ANONS BEHIND AND KEEP POSTING

>Why do we never see the legit interesting stuff in Essos?

the show cuts so much just from the main story as it is due to it being so much that I dont really blame them. But essos is straight batshit insane. Lizard people, bat people, zombie wizards,werewolves, neanderthals who worship the devil ect. Its 100% Never ending story tier fantasy as opposed to the somewhat realistic medieval setting of westeros

What about Renly and Edmure? they were adults yet single

Don't forget the fucking Dothraki niggers everywhere that forces everyone into packed, walled city states.

Renly I think was betrothed to Marge after Loras got on his dick. No clue about Edmure though.

What the fuck are the warlocks endgame anyway from ACOK or was that just a one time thing to fuck with Daenerys?

should be the krusty krab

>Renly I think was betrothed to Marge

Yeah but that was a late development, it should have been much earlier

I loved a maid as fair as summer, with sunlight in her hair.

BACK IN OUR DAY, YOU WERENT A REAL MAN UNTIL YOU'VE FUCKED ONE GIRL FROM EACH OF THE SEVEN KINGDOMS AND THE YOUR WORKPLACE. WE USED TO CALL IT MAKING THE EIGHT

tell that to duncan

>Stannis autistically thinks because hes older than Renly he is roberts heir

Robert literally passed Stannis over for Storms End. Holding the Targaryan ancerstral house doesnt make him heir anymore.

Storms end was the seat of the crown prince now.

>Try out CK2 mod
>Somehow The Westeros Civil War ends up being Stannis Vs Robb
>We both just completely tear apart the Riverlands in the process

>medieval serfs just sail across the ocean

YOUR SISTER IS A DUMB WHOOOOOOOOORE WITH A FAT ASS

TELL HIM NED

What was Bobby's problem

Was he just trolling Stannis

We also never really see it much either in the books besides muh HORSE SAVAGES AND GREYSCALE

Elaborate please.
All I've heard are rumours.

Bobby gave Stannis Dragonstone to represent he was his heir. Dragonstone was the home of the Targaryen heirs, not storms end, but Stannis was a pessimist and took it the wrong way.

>Bobby
>caring about targ traditions

>Ned's children: all auburn hair except Arya (and Jon)
>Bobby's "children": all blonde hair, his bastards have all black hair
Why did no one suspect of Cat?

>Stannis autistically thinks because hes older than Renly he is roberts heir
That's exactly how the law of succession works

Stormlander lords are all manly men. It makes no sense why they'd back show Renly at all if he was just a twink who cowers at the first sight of blood.

There's nothing to elaborate on, once you break up with a chick on bad terms she'll hate you forever, and do everything possible to make your life miserable, literally fuck your best friends to alienate them from you or spread false rumors about you. I had exactly this with a chick I knew from work and however much I tried ignoring her because I couldn't care about her anymore, it was insufferable working close to her.

>thats how laws of succession work

So then whyd he give renly storms end?

I had this and worst part is I didn't even get very close to her to have an actual relationship. She LARPed as my gf and then as an insane ex-gf.

there is no need for this language, Robert

Because 2 out of 5 children had Ned's hair? It's literally as even as it gets.

Because he's a dickhead
inb4 watch it

IS THAT HOW YOU SPEAK TO YOUR KING?

So by tradition, the kings home castle is the seat of the prince.

Renly had storms end. Renly was his heir.

>/ourqueen/

Shadow men
Like those in Asshai they always have their faces covered
plus they have tattoos
>tow there are such monsters in the Shadow Lands that not even shadow binders like Melli dare go there
>tow they said Dany's dragon eggs came from the shadow lands

Tell me about them. Why do they wear the masks?

Ned recognised Stannis as the true heir and I think he knows Westerosi succession better than you do

iktf mate. You can't even reject those harpies without making enemies with them forever.

>start as Tommen
>he dies under suspicous circumstanses
>I am Myrcella now
>tutored by Jaime and become the best fighter and strategist in the Seven Kingdoms
>beheaded Stannis and killed all claimants except for Daenerys who died by disagreement with meal
>on a side note Jorah killed Barristan Selmy in personal combat
>defeated the White Walkers in the War of Dawn
>everyone loves the queen and her reign becomes the most prosperous in history
>mfw CK2 rng writes a better story than Dabid or Martin
>mfw I have no face