Ahahaha nah, i think they would enjoy more the ménage à trois with me, you can record us though!

>ahahaha nah, i think they would enjoy more the ménage à trois with me, you can record us though!

Good joke, a little self deprecating, french reference, you don't sound like a bitter retard. It's the perfect comeback.

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=Qv5KNXXlhWM
youtube.com/watch?v=Y90cC4qPgq4
youtu.be/w0doWx73iM4
twitter.com/SFWRedditGifs

>ouch, that hurts

Said sarcastically with a deadpan tone.

This is actually the best one I've seen so far. Its really the only way you could possibly defang her comment

youtube.com/watch?v=Qv5KNXXlhWM

>SUCK MY DICK BITCH

Awful.

>I'm not only fat, I'm also gay!

got her there

its not funny just gay

>I fuck your mother all night you stupid fucking bitch -oh what's what she's dead you say ? what do you that shovel in the trunk of my hummer is for BITCH
>audience stands and applaudes

Not good at all. Everyone would just laugh at you more because clearly you're fat and ugly and they would prefer the attractive woman

You guys are overthinking this. There is no need for a comeback. Everybody knows he's fat and undesirable. He made a career off of being fat and undesirable. He knows it and any attempt to look cool would just seem desperate and inappropriate, no matter what the line is. All he had to do was appreciate the fact that somebody took the time to tell him a long joke. Laugh it off heartily, say something like "Ooooh, damn!" in a happy tone and move the fuck on.

>ye you like triple penetration just like your mom bitch
>oh what's that ? sorry couldn't hear you ober the sucking sounds made by your mom under the table BITCH
>audience becomes hysteric and screams his name

...

>oh I'm sorry bitch you're not in your psychiatrists sofa anymore, you got the script all mixed up with that story of that time you walked on your mom getting banged by me, it's live tv now bitch
>oh what did you mutter ? is that a tear, can't take the banter BITCH
>half of audience faints from the savagery just witnessed

*brap*

>you'll have to get in line sister. If anyone's gonna get taken to pound town by those two studs it's gonna be me first.

This more or less. In the heat of the moment a moment can feel like an eternity but as time goes by the little things disappear one by one. This is a little thing in Jonah's life.

Laugh hysterically, murder her during the night and move on.

Probably isn't even a shitpost, Jonas just forgot his pills

> I dunno. How well do you think you think you measure up to Angelina Jolie or Jennifer Anniston?

Holy shit yeah. This would fucking work.

...

>I am rubber you are glue

>Now why would you do that? Why would you do that? C'mere, c'mere. Why would you do that? ... Why would you do that? No, no, wait one second. What's so funny about that? It's ridiculous. Do you like making less of people, is that it? You like doing mean things to people? Hey, hey! Nonono, don't run away. Don't run away. That's incredibly rude. I'm here giving you an interview, and answering your questions, and you do something really nasty. You're a jerk. You're a jerk!

Does anyone else think it would be hilarious if Jonah Hill reenacted our comebacks?

What is his endgame?

*pulls out .45*..."Oh I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt. You were saying? No please, continue... I'd love to hear the rest of this fantasy of yours. NO, DON'T MOVE. NOBODY MOVE! EVERYONE SIT THE FUCK DOWN AND SHUT UP! What's the matter, frog got your tongue? You seemed so talkative before, what changed? Oh this? Yeah, this is normal to carry where I'm from, but I wouldn't be surprised if it's the first real one you've seen. No, don't look at anyone else, look at me. Look at me because I'm the one in control of your life right now. I'm in charge. No, don't cry, that's not going to help you. Not even a little. Wanna know why? Because at this very moment, here and now, as far as you're concerned I'm God and unless you play your cards right, I could very well be the last thing you ever see. So save your crocodile tears for someone who cares and choose your next words really fucking carefully now you stupid French bitch. You useless skank. You disgusting euro whore. Because this is my show now and your fifteen minutes are almost up. Now tell me what you are. Repeat what I just called you. Every single word. Do it. SAY IT. And start taking your clothes off as you do it. Go ahead. Yeah that's right. One piece at a time. Right here and now on national television. Good, just like that. You know, you might wanna thank me right about now. Because I'm about to make you a star you worthless cunt..."

Best comeback is to automatically laugh and start talking about your movie somehow. Thats the purpose of those shows, what should it matter what they say. You're there to promote

Unless Jonah really wanted to be there, which it looks like he did. I feel sorry for him

>*pulls out glock*
...Oh I'm sorry, didn't mean to interrupt. You were saying? No, please continue. I'd love to hear the rest of this little fantasy of yours..EVERYONE ELSE SIT DOWN AND SHUT THE FUCK UP! What's the matter, cat got your tongue? You seemed so talkative before...what changed..?

Oh this?
>*cocks gun*

Yeah, this is normal carry where I'm from, but I wouldn't be surprised if it's the first one you've seen, ma chérie

...

Yes but he would also probably be imprisoned for many of them

The only reason Cruise was so calm is because he knew that the guy would have a Scientologist assassin on him the moment he stepped away from the red carpet.

>You know... I think that you've gotten the wrong impression about me. I think in all fairness, I should explain to you what it is that I do. For instance, tomorrow morning I'll get up nice and early, take a walk down over to the restaurant and walk in and see you, and, uh... if you don't have my subs for me, I'll crack your fuckin' head wide open in front of everybody. And just about the time that I'm comin' out of jail, hopefully, you'll be comin' out of your coma. And guess what? I'll split your fuckin' head open again. Because I'm fuckin' stupid. I don't give a fuck about jail. That's my business. That's what I do. And we know what you do, don't we, Ornella? You insult people on television and get away with it. Hey, you fat French prick. You put my fuckin' subs to sleep. You go get my Meatball Marinara or I'll put your fucking brain to sleep. I'll be there in the morning. You can fuckin try me, fatso.
this would have worked

...

Well seems to me like Jonah needs to join the church then

Oh yeah

*unzips and removes pants*
*turns around*

BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP

>oh yeah I'm repulsive, yet you didn't think twice before rimjobbing my anus for a bag of crack in the lodge
>shut your mouth bitch you busted BITCH
>audience goes wild and triggers a rioting chain reaction that devolves into national instability

Do you think he cried himself to sleep in his hotel room?

It's time for Sup Forums to admit defeat and put this to bed.

abysmal attempt -_-

N-NO! IT WAS HIS TURN!

WE JUST NEED A LITTLE MORE TIME!

Please.. of couse he did
Or at least he felt like it

>Is this how you got the job here?

How is this not it?

Pretty much. Fat Hill was doomed from the start.

Nah he got drunk and used his fame to pick up some 4.5/10 Frenchies in order to validate himself

(Note: a 4.5 for someone like him is a 7.5 for someone like us...)

Is Sup Forums actively coming up with garbage comebacks or is it sincerely shitting the bed at every post?

this works

Can someone link me to the original interview? I don't get this meme

THERE'S STILL A CHANCE FOR US #HILLDAWGS

youtube.com/watch?v=Y90cC4qPgq4

>those girls laughing at him in the background

Damn..

How would other comedians handle the situation?

easy, don't even talk to her.
talk to the actual host and say something like "how much do you pay for this?" or some shit to make her feel like she's a nobody

Fatty BTFO

NO. SHE CAN'T WIN. WE WONT LET HER.

WE
JUST
NEED
MORE
TIME

It's over. She won.

>pulls out a 20" veinous dick with Michael Cera's tattooed on it table lowers under the weight of his limb
>oh I'm sorry what was that ? go on please, you were joking about sexual belittlement if I'm correct. Come on resume the entertainment

Jonah is not alone

NOOOOO

WE'RE LITERALLY THREADS AWAY FROM THINKING UP THE COMEBACK

ANY DAY NOW

Carrey would have left her questioning her own existence

unironically this

JUST GIVE US TWELVE MORE MONTHSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

IT WAS HIS TURN!!!

Get help

Fuck off shill

Carrey would've given her crabs

>saying that you are gay
>in FRANCE

yeah have fun getting beheaded.

WELL... FUCK YOU!

We just have to keep #believing #HillDawgs

You're not slick.

>I have a bomb strapped to my back. Say one more word and this whole place goes up in smoke. Poof. Try your luck you frog fucking baguette-snorting bitch. No, seriously. Try me. ALL OF YOU SIT THE FUCK DOWN. You aren't going anywhere. We're having fun, right? Haha! Funny jokes! So fun! I said sit the FUCK down. You think I'm joking? You call this a joke? Yeah, this is the detonation switch, very observant! Give me one reason, cunt. One fucking reason and everyone in this building is fucking toast.You thought you could get away with saying that shit, huh. Well I don't see you saying it any more. No, please continue! You were all having a grand time just a second ago! You know what, fuck it. I'm done with you. I'm done with this world. This broadcast will be my mark on this world, and the charred remains of this studio my grave. Goodbye.

>Wow.. you wouldn't even let me sit in the corner of the room and watch? That's harsh.

And herpes

I won.

OOOOH, JO! EASY ON DA FUCKIN' SUBS, EH?!?
Heheheh, I'm jus bustin' your balls, my friend.
Anyway, how ya been?

You forgot to tell us how Carey raped some DMT and is now suffering from a super serial case of depersonilzation which leads to imminent suicide.

>lose weight
>still dicklet

life is unfair

DAMN JONAH LOOKS LIKE *THAT*

Is that an earing?

HE ALREADY WON.
youtu.be/w0doWx73iM4

But that's not funny. You'd best leave the jokes to me.

So Jonah would tell everyone he wants to be DP'ed by Leo and Brad?

He's such a polite and calm man. How can people hate him?

>Then they'd leave too and go fuck me in the next room, because they'd rather fuck a fat dude than you.

he won before she was born, France is legit held by jews

For some reason the Sup Forums autists think it is some irrevocable comeback.

delete this

As opposed to umm where... Los Angeles?

baka


The autism on this board....

How long ago did this happen? You guys need to let it go. NASA has fucking already ran the simulations and there is STILL no possible comeback

367 days ago user

We just need a little more time. We're close.

But how else will OP get youvotes? He doesn't know how to post outside of Sup Forums, Sup Forums and his home site

>Think with your cunt and act like one too, who would'a guessed.
*Sneer*

Jesus Christ

>Yeah, whatever you say, bitch

>reddit spacing
>talks to himself and implies shit never said
>"le people in here"
>"baka"
legit kys faggot

Huh...you sure know a lot about Reddit formating....

we were having a good thread, laughing and shit, and you just ruined it with your insufferable transcript onomatopoeia cancer and dots "ummm...i suck cocks heh..." no really slit your throat faggot

Seriously fuck this thread.
Fuck every thread like it.
Tonight I had the chance to fuck a beautiful half french girl before she left but I didn't. Because I said the wrong thing. Long story short. She asked me if I lived within walking distance. I said no. I asked if she was staying at the hotel. She said yes. All I had to say was "So you are within walking distance" or something like that. But I didn't. And she went to her room alone. And now all I can think about is my failure. And Jonah Hills stupid fucking fat face.

I hope I pass out drunk before I do something retarded.

know thine enemy

Shit man, hopefully you'll get it right the next time. Dont punish yourself too much, enjoy your buzz

how the fuck can you be half a nationality?

Nope. You're the one who """"ruined""" it with your pointless autistic screeching.
Pic related is my face right now while your heart rate has probably doubled from anger trying to think of yet another butthurt reply.