I'm one hour in and this is without a shadow of a doubt the most jumbled and incoherent piece of absolute FUCKING shit...

I'm one hour in and this is without a shadow of a doubt the most jumbled and incoherent piece of absolute FUCKING shit I have ever had the displeasure of watching
I'm actually at a loss for words, what the fuck is michael bay doing?

t. brainlet

Dude yeah, i had to stop watching it yesterday that scene in the junkyard where everytime a transformer was on screen they started wrestling each other and destroying crap for no reason it made my brain HURT, why the fuck?!? its like a porn movie where the porn is replaced by robot fight.

>hey you look silly
>oh yeah HYAAA
[robot sounds]

Cogman should have his own movie

I like how a 20 ton robot falling to the ground didn't shake those bowling pins in the slightest.

Oy goy i kept moving the camera you shoudn't be able to see that.

>Big robot falls
>explosion
>nothing happens to anything else
Also why the fuck are there bowling pins outside of a bowling alley. Swear they're only there to place marks

why are 99% of the women hot bimbos

fuck off, you're not even allowed to ironically like this shitflick - it's that bad

You can't stop me.

fag

See people talk about how the movies are all just transformer fight porn but they're not, because that's literally all the OG transformers want.
Theyre cliché generic human comedy dramas but with large stretches of transformers and military shooting at each other and ridiculous explosions that look like fireworks going off.

I want a movie of just transformers fighting but I know that in reality I'm gonna get 2 hours of some annoying humans screaming at the top of their lungs, comedic relief transformers being comedic minus the funny, and then maybe 2 minutes of super slow mo transformer action. Also, everyone is covered in dirt and debris and grime for a e s t h e t i c

A transformer fell, better fire off 40 sparklers!

I swear, the funniest moment of all the movies is at the climax of the third, where optimus is jumping through all this destruction and fireworks are just flying off into the camera totally killing the believability of an actual battlefield

> what the fuck is michael bay doing?

Making billions in foreign markets?

Movies haven't been good for 30 years, are you stupid?

Yeah they have to insert the human element on it or else its not a Movie™
This is why i love Shin Godzilla so much, basically the movie features no main character, its litterally japan vs sudden monster, its as complex, military accurate and bureocratically ignorant as the real thing would be.

How would you do a transformers movie if you could?

This was the 2nd worst TF release financially

The latest Transformers movie is unironically my favourite one, probably. It's very over the top and goofy and I loved every minute of it.

And honestly, wasn't this like the 5th movie already? So if you are still watching these, you NEED to be a fan, and there's no point in trying to criticize a film that is made for fans only.

I dream about it every day
A cybertron thing would be impossible without a huge budget but if we're skipping cybertron bs for the sequel, I'd wanna start things off with some people riding on the highway
Then suddenly
Some fucking cars transform and they're giant robots beating the shit out of each other. I'd want it to be terrifying, right the fuck out of nowhere, and badass.

Humans can be spectators but the transformers don't need a human sidekick, that's Saturday morning cartoon shit.

I guess the main focus would be on the military coming to realize that they have a threat that looks like they're biggest weapons and vehicles.
Biggest human character would be a human who has sided with the decepticons, but all humans would do for autobots is hold them back.

I really want a fight between two jet transformers, half dogfight, half flying robot fight.

Basic storyline should be transformers are here, oh fuck they're everywhere, some kid finds the allspark crash landed in his parents farm or some shit and now all the decepticons know it's there and they're racing there as fast as possible while autobots rush to save the kid and allspark because the tech would give the decepticons enough power to take over earth.

At the end optimus gets to all spark, uses its power to level the fuck up and facefucks Megatron with his eyes closed.

Shia LaBeouf cameos as transformer truther

lmao @ all dem strong womyn and diversity shits everywhere

>bongs making fun of marky mark every chance they get the flick

and they don't do fucking shit

...

well obviously. they are womyn and niggers

>womyn and beaners
fixed*

...

I think a perfect example of how i would make it would be to slightly copy that episode of animatrix : the second renaissance, sort like a documentary being narrated by an omniscient being but you replace the omniscent being by whats left of the military making it a documentary for internal use only on the study of the transformers and why humans lost every encounter with them.
You would find out why they came, why they attacked only some humans and why they fight each others through the eyes of the military as they progress on the discoveries.
They would also attempt communication (transformers woudn't speak english obviously) with both sides and join autobots thanks to conflict in agendas with decepticons.

...

I fucking love Transformers but this movie was an utter piece of shit. Like a tumult of ideas just mashed together with no sense of plot coherence other than "We need to get the staff!" while a million other things occured on screen.

>TIE fighters
>Suicide Skward Decepticons
>Cogman organ/opera
>Simmons scenes
>"Nemesis Prime" for 3 minutes

The list goes on.

Hopkins was having the time of his life in this film, and was probably the only really fun part.

very true

It's an abomination even by transformers standards, but stick with it just to see Hopkins.
this

>tight spic girl has a spic robot that says chihuahua
what did bay mean by this?

>Hey DoP, whatcha doin?!

are you retarded? its fucking kino, youre just part of the internet smear campaign

>made for the fans

LITTY